Ishq par zor nahin hain yeh woh aatish Ghalib
Jo lagaye na lage aur bujhaye na bane...

On Wednesday morning Haseena Mallik was woken up by the soft sunlight filtering through the parting in the window curtains. A distinct feeling of warmth and peace surrounded her being. As she slowly opened her eyes, she found out the reason for this feeling — Karishma Singh was soundly sleeping in her arms.

A smile appeared on Haseena's face as she watched the sleeping woman. A bhaukaal-displaying basket of trouble in her waking hours, the loaded-bandook was now looking so innocent in her sleep. Haseena affectionately tapped her on the nose. Karishma scrunched her nose and made a cute grunt of annoyance but otherwise showed no sign of waking.

Kash har subah aise hi shuru hoti... The thought appeared in Haseena's mind out of nowhere. Her smile faltered. She quickly dispelled the idea. What the hell was she thinking!

Haseena sighed. A headache was steadily building up and she needed to go to the washroom. She tried to pull her arm away from Karishma's grip and that finally stirred the other woman to wake up. Karishma adorably rubbed her face into the pillow before squinting her eyes. Her sulky expression immediately cleared when her eyes landed on her Madam Sir in such close proximity.

Today they didn't spring apart upon realisation of their closeness. Today they smiled at each other gently, whispered good mornings and slowly got up — content, and in no hurry to be anywhere else. Today it was just them.

But Haseena's headache had just grown exponentially and she groaned as she held her head in her hands. She mumbled curses and expressed confusion for this inexplicable pain.

'Sirf aapka nahi, humara bhi sar dard se phata jaa raha hain Madam Sir,' Karishma groaned quietly. 'Yeh sab kal raat ka asar hain.'

'Kyun kal raat ko kya hua tha?' asked a puzzled Haseena.

And that was the moment when she saw Karishma's face fall. She went from looking well-rested to surprised to devastated in a matter of seconds. And Haseena had no idea why.

Haseena also had no idea why Karishma's voice shook slightly when she asked to confirm — 'Aapko sach mein kal raat ka kuch bhi yaad nahi hain?'

Haseena shook her head in the negative. Karishma's look of devastation deepened and lasted for a few more seconds before she controlled herself and a mask fell over her face.

She then mechanically informed Madam Sir about the alcohol-spiked oranges — that had debilitated the entire MPT team for the night.
And all the while she spoke, Karishma looked intently at Haseena, trying to look for any sign of recollection. It made Haseena wonder what it was that Karishma was so desperate for her to remember.

The last thing in Haseena's memory was them watching a movie together. But when she asked Karishma if she had said or done anything crazy or stupid when under the influence of alocohol, Karishma had clamped up and given her only vague answers. This only worried Haseena further.

...

Memories started slowly filtering back once she was in the shower. Chapter by chapter, her drunken adventures revealed themselves and the more Haseena remembered the more she wanted to just die of shame...
Or at the very least disappear somewhere where Karishma and Pushpa Ji would never find her.

What had she done!

She had no idea how to face up and address her behaviour from the night before, so for the first time in her life, Haseena Mallik chose the cowardly way and kept on pretending that she didn't remember anything.

However when they prepared to leave for the police station, Haseena brought along all her bags. She announced that she was going to directly go home from work that evening.

Karishma looked confusedly at her.

'Humare ghar... Ammi ke paas,' Haseena clarified. The two days of recuperation period was over after all.

Karishma looked like she had forgotten that Haseena had not moved in with her permanently. She swallowed and looked down, nodding sadly.

Haseena had to look away so the broken look on Karishma's face would not make her weak. Because, Haseena no longer trusted herself around Karishma.

Ammi was right when she called her begairat. She truly was shameless. Karishma had welcomed her to her home, to her room. And how had Haseena paid her back for that trust? By misbehaving with her. By making inappropriate advances towards her junior. By throwing herself shamelessly at a married woman! Where were her morals?!

But then... her heart asked in a small voice —what had Karishma been saying about her husband? It didn't sound normal did it? Maybe ask her...

NO! The much louder voice in her head warned her. It didn't matter what she had said. Haseena could not and would not cross her boundaries.

Pushpa Ji was like a mother to her. She often tried so hard to strengthen Haseena and Karishma's friendship. She was not going to hurt that woman's faith in her with these inappropriate thoughts.

As it is in her drunken state, she had practically ordered Pushpa Ji to look for a new daughter-in-law since she, Haseena, her senior — was apparently planning to keep the current one for herself!!! Haseena prayed that Pushpa Ji too had forgotten all about the call from last night.

It is all momentary anyway, Haseena told herself repeatedly. It was just a phase. And anyway hadn't she been in love with Anubhav? She had been so badly hurt when he confessed to never loving her back... That admission had actually broken her much more than his actual betrayal. Made her question her self-worth.......

Haseena was a patriot too. She had never said it out loud but she had been willing to forgive Anubhav, if only he had said that he had some love for her. But his reply had been honest, resolute and devoid of hesitation. The lie detector had confirmed it and destroyed Haseena in that moment.

Surely she hadn't just fallen out of love so easily? She couldn't possibly have moved on within days?? That was impossible!

So therefore clearly (she kept telling herself), this was just her brain playing tricks on her. Karishma's selfless love and care towards her, her protectiveness and her adoration had weakened Haseena. And in her heartbroken state she had clung onto Karishma's solid and reassuring presence.

They did share an undeniably deep connection. An unexplainable bond that nobody could quite define. So Haseena had just made a stupid attempt to fit it into a box. A box that it did not fit into. Nothing more.

Yes. There's nothing more. There cannot be anything more — she chanted this in her head like a mantra.

Now that they were back on duty everything would go back to being normal.

...

She had to allow Karishma to accompany her to the doctor though since she was the one who had asked her to at first and now couldn't find a good enough excuse to deny it.

'Reports mostly normal hain Ms Mallik. Antidote ne aapki jaan bacha di, but bohot bhari dose mein virus directly aapki system mein inject hua, iss wajah se aapke body mein residual virus ka dormant state mein hona possible hain. Tests mein woh nahi dikhenge. But kinhi wajah se agar aapke body mein kisi kism ke hormonal surge ya changes ho, for example pregnancy mein ya koi steroid medication se, toh woh dormant viruses active bhi ho sakte hain.'

She turned towards Karishma and said casually, 'Hum inko ek blood purifier medicine de rahe hain. Please ensure ki pura dosage complete kiya jaye.'

Then she glanced at both of them in turn and said, 'Humari advice rahegi ki agar aap log family planning karein toh IVF etc procedure se pehle at least 2 saal wait kariye, just to be safe.'

Haseena frowned at looked towards Karishma.
Why was the doctor addressing them like a couple?

She realised why soon enough. Karishma's body language. Karishma sat with her arm slung protectively and proprietarily over the back of Haseena's chair. Her body leaned in towards Haseena, her hand lying casually on Haseena's on the table.

Also Haseena's body language. Hadn't she been acting subconsciously subservient to Karishma taking the lead from the moment they had arrived at the clinic? Hadn't she allowed  Karishma to fill up the forms and do most of the talking with the nurses? Hadn't she kept looking at Karishma for approval as she spoke to the doctor about the mission?

Now it was too late and too awkward to correct the misunderstanding so Haseena did what she had been doing a lot recently — pretended to not notice anything.

'Aur haan jo dawai diya hain aapko abhi uske kuch short term side effects ho sakte hain, jaise drowsiness ya hunger pangs. Toh Ms Singh please take care that Ms Mallik doesn't skip meals and also make sure ki inko minimum 6/7 ghante undisturbed neend aye raat ko.

'And lastly, Ms Mallik, as an Indian citizen, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and salute you for saving our lives!'

...

Karishma was confused. And angry. She was trying to figure out what was going on with Madam Sir but failing because Madam Sir was basically avoiding her.

Three days ago, they had woken up snuggling into each other. And then bam! Haseena was acting more formal with her than she had ever been.

Since the doctor's appointment, Haseena and Karishma had not really talked about anything that didn't involve a case. Haseena had also started having lunch in her cabin under the pretext of work. She left early in the evening when everyone else was still in the police station. So Karishma had no opportunity to talk to her in private.

Leave alone interaction, Haseena barely looked at her nowadays. As if she was afraid of eye contact. As if she knew that if she let Karishma look long enough, then Karishma would be able to see through all her shields and know all her secrets.

Karishma missed her Madam Sir... she missed looking into her Madam Sir's eyes. She hadn't realised until now how intoxicating it could be to find your world in someone's eyes. Now she craved it. But she was being starved.

And she didn't deal well with Haseena ignoring her. So she expressed it in the only way that she knew how to — anger.

It still wasn't working though because Haseena simply refused to take the bait.

For example — they were in the disguise of middle aged constables during a case and Karishma, without reason and completely unprovoked, began taunting Haseena about her marriage... 'kya Madam Sir kanha socha tha aapki shaadi ka card ayega, ab toh senior citizen ke card aane ka umar ho gaya... kaise katengi aap aisa pahaad jaisa jindagi...'

Haseena glared at her and replied through clenched jaws — 'koi baat nahi Karishma Singh jaise hi achha ladka milega hum nikah kar lenge.'

Karishma used the excuse of their disguise and pointed out — 'ladka? Ab toh ladka ayega aur aapko daadi bolkar chala jayega. Ab toh aap aisa kisiko dhundiye jo apki aakhri daant girne tak apke saath rahegi—ga.. rahega.'

For a moment Haseena bit her lip and Karishma was sure that she was finally going to get a reaction. But then Haseena took a breath and said with calm sternness— 'sahi insaan milega toh shaadi kar lenge.'

The file they were jointly holding was snapped shut with such force that it caused a breeze that ruffled Karishma's eyelashes. She wisely backed off.

When that didn't work, Karishma cooked up excuses to go into Madam Sir's cabin and argue with her about case related things while trying to get her to talk about other things... like did Madam Sir finally remember what they had said to each other that night ... if yes then did she want to ask Karishma more about it?

Karishma wanted one opening, one reason to begin that conversation.
Unfortunately she wasn't given any.

...

She sat at her desk and sullenly watched Billu dust and clean the police station. He was moving slowly, still recovering from the beating he had received from Karishma after the spiked orange incident.

Technically it hadn't been entirely Billu's fault that they had snatched his alcohol spiked oranges and gotten drunk. But he had been smuggling alcohol into the police station by trick. If anyone else found out, the officers would have been in serious trouble.
Karishma beating him black and blue was expected. And nobody came to save him.
But everyone had been surprised by the intensity of Haseena's anger towards him. Not only had she not stopped Karishma from thrashing him, she had nearly thrown him out of his Billu Niwas... Like his actions had caused her some kind of personal grievance.

Only when Billu had fallen at her feet to beg for forgiveness had she calmed down a little. 'Isko last warning samajh lo Billu. Ainda agar humara bharosa toda, toh thaane mein dobara kabhi mat dikhna.'

So Billu had been punished with the task of cleaning up the entire haveli. And due to the size of the place, he was still at it two days later. He was working extra hard today since DSP Sir was supposed to come around for a routine inspection and a meeting with the SHO.

Karishma would've liked to stay at the station all day and watch over Madam Sir. But Haseena had chosen this particular day to send Karishma away on back-to-back field duty. Karishma couldn't help but feel like she was being purposely removed from the scene... because DSP Sir was visiting.

The by now familiar pain in her chest returned.

...

Haseena heard the rumble of Karishma's motorbike speed away from the police station and fade into the distance. She finally looked up from the file she had been pointlessly trying to read.

Walking on eggshells was tough. Walking on eggshells around the person you used to be most comfortable with was exhausting. But Haseena had only herself to blame. She had hoped things would become normal soon enough. But nothing was normal.

The more she tried to stay away from Karishma, the louder that small voice in her heart became. And recently it had started drowning out the voice in her head.

Haseena sat back and thought about the smaller insignificant details that she had never questioned before... Karishma had no pictures in the house with her husband. She always referred to him as 'lalla' which was the oddest way of referring to one's husband...

Snatches of information, thrown out unthinkingly, began to come back from the recesses of her memory...

... teen saal ho gaye abhi tak honeymoon pe nahi gaye hain dono... but every time there had been a possibility of a holiday with her husband, Karishma always found an excuse to cancel them; of course Haseena never really tried hard to convince her either
— yeh bahut important case hain Madam Sir abhi chhutti nahi le sakte, Pushpa ji samajhti nahi hain

— it was always something or the other. And why had Haseena never pushed? — Because she had been secretly glad. Because she hated having to share Karishma with anyone. Because she liked to be the one Karishma spent all of her time with.

... jabse shaadi hui hain humara bechara lalla desh se bahar hi rehta hain...
This was so strange for a supposedly love marriage. And it wasn't an exaggeration because literally every time that Haseena asked, he was away on work.
— and Haseena of course didn't mind it at all, did she? She had become comfortable with being the centre of Karishma's attention.

Kab se? she asked herself. Kab se aisi harqate kar rahe hain hum aur notice bhi nahi kiya!!!

...kya aapne kabhi Lalla ke pasand ka khana banaya, uski pasand ki saari pehni, bindi lagayi... kya humara lalla insaan nahi hain? Uske koi armaan nahi hain?

But it never took much effort on Haseena's part to get Karishma to play dress up. Karishma complained of course, but barely.

— kuch toh baat hain aap mein Madam Sir jo aap apna har baat manwa leti hain — Karishma had once told her.

Haseena licked her lips as she remembered the day when Karishma had walked into the police station in that black saree.......

The chiffon wrapped around her curves... that backless blouse.. that silky hair gently fanning out in the breeze... and that seductive look that Karishma had given her —
'Mashallah Karishma Singh aap bohot khoobsurat lag rahi nain' — the words had been blurted before Haseena's brain could catch up with her tongue.

Billu had received a kantaap that day for calling Karishma beautiful. Haseena had received a shy smile and a lip bite for saying the same.

— One day Haseena had walked into the police station to overhear Pushpa Ji and Karishma Singh arguing.

That was usual.

Pushpa Ji was complaining about how her lalla's bhaag had phootofied.

That was also usual.

Pushpa ji went on to accuse Karishma of ignoring her husband by taking up night duty during the few days that lalla was in town. She insisted Karishma was avoiding getting pregnant because she did not want to spoil her figure...

Haseena had decided to step in because the topic was moving into very inappropriate territory. And Pushpa Ji was thoughtlessly saying these things in front of their juniors.

But the reprimand had died in her throat when she heard Karishma Singh's reply —
'Madam Sir, yeh sab Madam Sir ki wajah se ho raha hain! Na toh woh hume apne tareeke se case solve karne deti hain. Na toh hume fursat deti hain ki hum lalla ke saath kuch time spend kare ya romantic date par jaye. Humara saara energy Madam Sir ke peechhe nikal jata hain, baccha kanha se karein?'

Haseena Mallik had stood stunned. She knew she was capable of a lot of things. But she was also sure that Karishma Singh's pregnancy or non-pregnancy was in no way her fault!!!...............

Now Haseena ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

'Kuch toh gadbad hain Daya,' she told herself mentally. 'Taftish karna hi padhega. Nahi toh humara dimag wohi par atka rahega. No information will change reality but apne sukoon ke liye thodi bohot tehkikaat karni padhegi.'

...

Karishma Singh sat in her patrol car, keeping a watch over the congested industrial area. She was fidgeting with her phone and debating with herself for a long time now. Many times she had tried to type out a text but changed her mind and deleted it. Retyped it and deleted it again.

A rowdy voice suddenly tore through her thoughts.

'Parnaam Karishma ji!'

Karishma turned and found the source of the voice to be a big potbellied paan-chewing officer. It was Bulbul Pandey, the SHO of the neighbouring Jankipuram police station.

Karishma's mood soured even more. She didn't like Bulbul Pandey, because she didn't like corrupt opportunistic officers who had made it to higher ranks not by merit but by politics and then misused the power of the uniform. Bulbul Pandey was all of those things.

And Karishma did not have the energy to deal with him today. Nevertheless he still outranked her so she got out of the vehicle and saluted him.