'Amma bhakk! Bohut hua yeh bakeiti. Nahi hone denge... hum NAHI hone denge yeh shaadi!'

Karishma Singh recalled the day when she had finally called Haseena Madam her friend. But had they ever been just friends or had it always been something more... that "are they or are they not" question always around them??

'... kyunki humare rehte hum apne dost ko kisi aire gaire natthu khaire ke haathon nahi saunp sakte...'

That was the official reason presented. But she had no explanation for the bitterness and jealousy that had plagued her at the idea of Madam Sir getting married.

Her anger towards that idiot Ranveer had been far too personal. When she first saw him, she first felt disdain, then disappointment and finally disgust. This bhondu was her competition? Eww...
.... No no wait! Not Competition... umm she was just being protective. Madam Sir, after all, deserved the very best. That's all this was.

'... Tumhare jaisa churan se hum apni Madam Sir ka shaadi kisi bhi keemat mein nahi karne de sakte hain!'

Protective, not possessive... Karishma had chanted this mantra in her head for months afterwards.

But what was that thing that she had felt when Haseena walked towards her in her bridal attire?
Was that why she had pulled that black saree stunt a few days later? To see if she would have the same effect on Haseena.
Yes... well... kind of......................

.................. 'Yeh case bohot hi simple hain,' said SHO Haseena Mallik. 'Pati-patni ke beech ka romance kho gaya hain aur iska fayda utha raha hain woh dhongi Rang Rasiya Baba. Humein inn dono ke beech ka romance wapas lana hain.'

'Yeh sab bekar ki baatein hain Madam Sir,' Karishma countered. 'Yeh sab romance vomance kuch nahi hota. Sab filmy chonchle hain. Faltu bakwas!'

'Romance hota hain Karishma Singh. Romance hi ek cheez hain jo pati-patni ke rishtey ko taro-taaza rakhti hain,' she said. 'Jaise tadke ke bina daal pheeki lagti hain. Waise hi romance ke bina shaadi successful nahi ho sakti.

'Ka baat hain Madam Sir! Aapka shaadi nahi hua hain lekin phir bhi aap married life ka itna knowledge rakhti hain!' taunted Karishma.

'Knowledge ke liye experience ka hona zaruri nahin hain Karishma Singh. Haan lekin seene mein ek dil ka hona bohot zaruri hain!' taunted Haseena right back.

Not much had changed since Haseena Mallik and Karishma Singh became friends. They still behaved exactly the same with each other. They bickered over everything but they also couldn't do a day without each other's presence.

They still walked on different paths, but always ended up at the same destination.
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'Humne aap sab ko ek bohot hi important task dene ke liye bulaya hain,' announced Haseena. 'Aap sabko Love Letter likhna hain...'

Karishma did a double take. She widened her eyes and stared. Then narrowed her eyes. Then stared some more. You see she was desperately trying to understand if she was awake or still asleep and having a nightmare.

'Madam Sir,' she asked, 'aap humare thaane ko Prem Ashram kahe bana rahi hain?'

Haseena explained to them that this was a plan to solve the case. Of course Karishma was going to refuse. She opened her mouth to let Haseena know exactly what she thought of this naatak mandali, but Haseena cut her to the chase.

'Karishma Singh,' she said, smiling sweetly. 'Hum jaante hain ki yeh task aapke liye bohot hi mushkil hain. Romance ka mamla hain na, aapke mizaaj ke khilaaf hain...'

Karishma's hackles were immediately raised. First that no-dil comment and now this... Haseena Mallik was messing with the wrong person.

'Shayad bhool rahi hain aap Madam Sir, ki humne love marriage kiya hain. Romance ke baarein mein yanha humse jyada achha se koi nahi jaanta.'

'Arrey haan!' Haseena pounced immediately, 'hum bhool gaye they! Aapne sahi kaha Karishma Singh... aap hi best candidate hain iss kaam ke liye! Aap se behtar love letter koi likh hi nahi sakta hain!!'

Karishma realised a second too late that she had walked right into the trap.

And she needed to escape.

Because of course she had never written any love letters, ever!  Her marriage was fake. How would she know what nonsense lovesick fools wrote?  But she couldn't let the bluff show. She maintained her serious demeanour.
'Maaf kijiyega Madam Sir. Hum dando se case solve karte hain, jajbaati hathkando se nahi. Toh humein please aap inn sab se bahar hi rakhiye. Hum ashram mein tehkikaat karne jaa rahe hain.'

And she ran out of the place before Haseena could see through her ruse.

Karishma Singh did what police officers should be doing. She searched the aashram premises. Collected samples for forensic testing. Interrogated the staff and the devotees. But she found nothing suspicious. The fraudster was too careful to keep his scam a secret.

She reported back to Madam Sir. In the middle of this discussion, Billu Champat arrived with a letter that had supposedly been written by the victim Vijay to his wife Anita.

Karishma was surprised as she didn't think Vijay was the romantic type. She snatched the letter from Billu's hand and opened it. Seconds later she frowned and looked at Madam Sir.

'Yeh toh aapki handwriting hain. Aur yeh bhasha bhi aapki hain!' Karishma cried. 'Aapne Anita ko love letter likha???'

'Vijay bankar!!!' Haseena clarified sharply. 'Aur likha taaki un dono ke beech ka khoya hua pyar wapas aa jaye...'

... In the present day, Karishma Singh sniggered when she remembered that case. It had taken a highly interesting turn when, in a bid to rekindle Vijay and Anita's romance, Haseena and Karishma had to role-play as the husband-wife duo.

Yep, you heard that right...

Haseena wrote love letters pretending to be the husband Vijay. And Karishma wrote the letters on behalf of the wife Anita.

Questions might arise as to why The Karishma Singh... The Bhaukaal... The Hero... had agreed to destroy her image and become a  smiling-blushing-pouting damsel... WHY???
Karishma let out a resigned breath.........

Haseena Mallik smiled at her in that graceful way that made her already gorgeous face look divine. Karishma Singh was nervous. This particular smile held the record of making Karishma Singh do a lot of things that Karishma Singh would've normally never agreed to do.

'Karishma Singh...' began Haseena sweetly. 'Dekhiye honestly kahe toh hum iss matter ko aapki help ne bina solve nahi kar payenge. Magar hum aapko force nahi karenge. Hum nahi chahte hain ki aap iss task ko isliye kare kyunki humne order diya hain toh karna hi padhega... Hum chahte hain ki aap isse pure dil se, feelings ke saath, bharose ke saath kare.'

'Madam Sir aap jaanti hain humein yeh gol gol baat samajh mein nahi aata hain. Agar aap humein seedha seedha bata dengi toh aapki meherbani hogi.'

'Hmm toh seedhe seedhe aap...' Haseena paused and then rushed to say, 'Anita-bankar-Vijay-ko-ek-romantic-letter-likh-dijiye.'

Karishma stared at Haseena without blinking. She wanted her to do WHAT?

'Ho payega?' asked Haseena, nicely but also challengingly.

Before Karishma could reply, Pushpa Ji bolted into the room, startling them both.

'Arrey nahi ho payega inse Madam Sir! Aap bhi kanha apna sar phod rahi hain? Cactus mein gulaab ke phool khilte dekha hain kabhi?'

Karishma charged towards Pushpa ji, who quickly went and stood on the other side of Haseena Mallik.

'Acchaa aap yehi bahaar kaan laga kar humari baatein sun rahi thi?' demanded Karishma.

'Dekhiye Madam Sir, apni saas se baat karne ka tareeqa dekhiye.... "kaan lagake"... iss bhasha mein likhengi aap prem patra?'

'Aur yeh jo aap darwaze ke peechhe se humari private baatein sunn rahi thi woh bohot acchha kaam hain?'

Standing between the two arguing ladies, Haseena pulled out her phone and began to play Candy Crush.

'Humko aadat nahi hain aise kaana phusi karne ki! Woh toh hum darwaze ka oiling dekh rahe the tab kaan pe baat padh gayi,' said Pushpa Ji defensively.

'Aap oiling check kar rahi thi? Aise toh humara ghar pura oiling pe hi chalta hoga. Kaheki aap toh har darwaje khidki ke peechhe khadi milti hain.'

'Badhe hain ghar ke, aankhein aur kaan khule rakhne padhte hain ki kya chal raha hain ghar mein.'

Haseena  moved away, still looking at her phone and came to the window. Saas-Bahu followed and stood on either side of her, continuing their argument. Haseena signalled Badnaam for tea.

'Madam Sir, inhe na pyar karna aata hain, na pyar se baat karna,' complained Pushpa ji.

Haseena nodded.

'Madam Sir, yeh kaunsi love guru hain humko certificate dene wali?' countered Karishma.

Haseena nodded again.

Badnaam handed her a cup of tea over the window sill and Haseena began to sip on it calmly.

'Love guru banne ki zarurat nahi hain! Maa hain hum. Dikhta hain humein ki humare Lalla ke bhaag kaise phoot gaye! Aisi patni mili ki parwah hi nahi karti uski!'

'Hum parwah nahi karte?'

'Aur nahi toh kya? Madam Sir! Puchhiye inse, kab inhone Lalla ko dudh garam karke peelaya tha?'

'Kahe? Lalla billi hain?'

'Kab aapne unki pasand ki saree pehni, unki pasand ki bindi lagayi. Bas duty se aye, uniform latkayi, bandook saaf kiye, datt kar khaye aur phail kar so gaye.... KYA HUMARA LALLA INSAAN NAHI HAIN? USKE KOI ARMAAN NAHI HAIN?

Haseena jumped and nearly spilled her tea.

'Dekhiye dekhiye Madam Sir, overacting start ho gaya hain Pushpa ji ka!'

'Dekha Madam Sir, dusro ki bhavnaye inko overacting lagti hain.'

'Toh aapke Lalla ne kaunsa humare liye guitar bajaakar gaane gaaye hain?'

'Arrey usko nahi aata hain guitar bajaana! Kaise gayega woh gaana?'

'Toh seekhe na! Jab unko pata hain ki hume gaane sunna kitna achha lagta hain aur humein guitar kitna pasand hain toh kahe nahi seekhte?'

Haseena's head snapped up. 'Thik hain Karishma Singh!' she interrupted loudly. 'Aisa karte hain... Challenge ke badle challenge. Aap yeh love letter likh kar dikhaiye aur hum guitar seekh kar aapke liye ek gaana gaa kar dikhayenge. Deal?'

Both Karishma Singh and Pushpa ji looked a bit stumped at this sudden proposal. And Karishma had this strange fluttery sensation in her tummy that she couldn't explain.

'Jabhi bhi hum sochte hain ki ab aapke paas ka bachaa hain jajbaaton ke naam par kehne ke liye, phir aap ek naya angle le aati hain... Kuchh bhi ho Madam Sir, par kuch toh baat hain aap mein jo aap apna har baat manwa leti hain.'
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It was easier said than done. But Karishma had finally done it!

Technically speaking, the letter was already written so she didn't need to arrive at the police station wearing that black saree. But Karishma had her reasons. Haseena Mallik needed to know that Karishma Singh was not the stone-hearted unromantic boring person she presumed her to be.

Haseena's reaction had been so much better than she had anticipated. The SHO had just walked out of her cabin when Karishma had walked in. The look on Haseena's face had been so worth getting into that uncomfortable seductive getup! Haseena looked like her Eid gift had arrived early! She stumbled sideways into a pillar, she was so busy staring at Karishma with her mouth half-open. And that slow checking her out from toe-to-head......

...... 'Hayyy,' whispered Karishma as she remembered that moment.

No, they had never really been "just" friends. But it had taken a near-death experience to finally accept that.

Suddenly a very naughty idea came to her. She had the most perfect weapon to tease Haseena Mallik! She glanced towards the kitchen door once. Haseena was taking too long to get the flask of coffee. Nevermind, Karishma would use this opportunity to retrieve her weapon.

...

Haseena picked up the flask and paused. After a double dose of caffeine, Karishma would surely lose her appetite and want to skip dinner. Then she would wake up at 3AM, feeling hungry. Haseena decided to get some dry food to go with the coffee, so at least her stubborn SI would eat something.

She was foraging when her phone buzzed in her back pocket. She frowned at the name flashing on-screen.

'Jai Hind Sir,' Haseena answered this untimely call from DSP Anubhav Singh.

'Jai Hind Haseena ji. Kshama chahte hain iss waqt aapko taqleef dene ke liye. Aap kripaya sheeghra mukhyalaya mein ayiye.'

'Sir? Iss waqt headquarters mein kya kaam hain?' asked a puzzled Haseena.

'Hum aapko vistarit milkar hi bata payenge. Vishay atyant gopniya hain aur samay bohot kam. Nahi toh hum aapko aise raatri ke samay nahi bulate.'

Haseena fell in a huge dilemma. Refusing meant flouting a direct order from her senior. But agreeing meant abandoning Karishma halfway through the date.......

'Sir, hum ek bohot hi personal kaam mein phanse huye hain, iss waqt aana namumkin hain. Aap permission de toh hum kal subah sabse pehle headquarters mein report karenge.'

'Haseena ji aap paristhiti ki gambheerta ko samajh nahi rahi hain. Suniye, humare agle mission ka nirdesh aa gaya hain. Humein sheeghra iss sheher ko chhor kar jaana hoga, anirdishtkaal ke liye. Parantu usse pehle—'

'— Sir aap kal hi toh nahi nikal rahe hain na? I promise kal subah apki chai khatam hone se pehle hum aapke office mein haazir ho jayenge. But please understand iss waqt humara kanhi aur jaana impossible hain.'

'Hum samajh sakte hain. Aap jaisi officer jab apni duty ke upar kisi cheez ko mahatva de rahi hain toh avashya koi vishesh karya hi hogi woh. Koi baat nahi, aap kal subah humein aakar miliye. Aapse bohot hi avashyak baatein karni hain.'

Haseena scowled. She wasn't disregarding her duty. She was merely postponing a meeting. But she answered professionally, 'Thank you Sir humare situation ko consider karne ke liye.'

'Keval ek cheez ka dhyan rakhiyega Haseena ji ki humare iss meeting ke baarein mein kisiko jaankari nahi honi chahiye. Aapki team ko bhi aap iss samay kuch nahi kahengi..... Karishma Singh ko bhi nahi. Yeh order hum nahi de rahe hain, yeh order upar se aya hain. Meeting ke baad aap khud hi samajh jayengi.'

She saluted him and quickly disconnected the call. She had surprised herself by how easily she had chosen Karishma over everything else.

As she laid out the snacks, Haseena remembered something........

A few days had passed since Anubhav accepted Haseena's marriage proposal...
... And then nothing else happened. Life just went back to the usual.

They didn't go on dates, they didn't chat on late night calls, they didn't do anything romantic. They texted each other more often and that was that. And yet still, everyone told Haseena over and over how they were the perfect couple and this was supposedly the truest love story that they had seen. Umm really? Haseena was no expert, but shouldn't being in an official relationship feel different?

Tired of waiting for Anubhav to find some quality time to spend together, Haseena had taken the initiative and invited herself to a late-night coffee at his house.

His reaction upon seeing her at his door was puzzlement. 'Aap yanha kya kar rahi hain?'

... was it a slight annoyance that Haseena detected in his tone? She offered to leave. Only then did he quickly school his expressions and invite her in.

... So very different from the way Karishma's eyes lit up whenever Haseena walked into a room...

Even for a fake love drama, Anubhav Singh had hardly put in any effort. It had mostly all been Haseena. But why? What had made Haseena act so out of character? This question, she still hadn't found answer to.

That night when Haseena had spotted the cockroach, she had grabbed onto Anubhav, in a scene eerily similar to what had happened tonight, except this time her saviour had been his sister.

They both had laughed at her, except... Karishma had teased her, Anubhav had mocked her. There was a difference.

—'wakai mein darr gayi ya humare paas aane ka bahaana tha?'— he had smugly asked. He made her moment of vulnerability all about himself.

The urgent text from Headquarters couldn't have come at a better time. It had saved her from doing any more stupid things that night.
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When Haseena returned to the living room with the coffee and snacks, she didn't find Karishma Singh there.

'Yeh kanha chali gayi?'

Karishma hobbled out of her bedroom. She was still wearing her shirt and tank top with Haseena's salwar and somehow looking cute in the weird combo.

'Washroom gayi thi aap?' Haseena assumed, setting the tray on the table.

Karishma's eyes fell on the array of snacks and she exclaimed, 'Ohh toh iss liye aapko itni der lag gayi. Humko laga coffee seedha Columbia se laa rahi hain!'

Haseena made a face and poured out the brew in their respective mugs. Karishma snatched up the cup on her side almost before Haseena had properly finished pouring. Haseena gave her a strange look which Karishma ignored. She kept the side with Haseena's lipstick mark to herself and slotted her own mouth over the stain. She could swear the coffee tasted better this time.

Haseena unsuspectingly took Karishma's old mug, and began drinking. For a second she frowned and looked thoughtfully into the mug, then shrugged and got back to the story left unfinished.

'Haan toh ab batayiye yeh Lalla ji ka majra kya hain? School ka ex-best friend, abhi ka paper-husband?'

Karishma told her the story. Prateek was a mild mannered boy and often got bullied by the senior boys because of his soft nature. They called him rude nicknames like "girly", "sissy" etc. People also took advantage of the lack of a father-figure in his life.

He didn't have many friends until Karishma came along. With Karishma's bossy presence around him, the senior boys could no longer get the better of him so they started teasing him behind Karishma's back by calling him "Krish ki aurat". That fateful day, Karishma had caught them red-handed and beat them up. Then she got suspended and the boys took advantage of her absence.

'Jab hum wapis school join kiye, tab Prateek ne saara gussa hum par thop diya... ki hum kaahe interfere kiye. Unhone humse baat karna chhor diya. Kuch din baad, Pushpa Ji ka Kanpur se transfer ho gaya, aur Lalla bhi school chhor kar chale gaye.'

'Hum jaante hain ki hum dono nadaan they, hum dono se galtiyan huyi thi. Magar uss waqt agar woh humein yeh sab bata dete toh shayad humara dil nahi tootta. Khair... din mahine saal guzar gaye aur school ki baatein dhundli padh gayi.

'Academy ke baad humari nayi nayi posting huyi Lucknow mein. Jab jab bhi time milta, hum nikal padhte sheher ghumne. Aise hi ek din ek mele mein gaye.....'

Karishma Singh loved giant wheels and she ended up sharing a seat with an unknown guy. She didn't recognise that this guy was her old school friend. When their box reached the top, Prateek began chanting Hanuman Chalisa. Instead of lauging at him, Karishma spoke to him kindly and