***

You couldn't sleep at all that night, too many things to do and the thoughts you had kept you awake, plus, knowing Steve was upset didn't help. You knew you had to make it right, but until everything was in place, you'd avoid him to keep it all at bay.

"Morning grumpy." Wanda greeted you, smirking behind her cup as you walked by towards the kitchen.

Before you made it, barely having given her a wave as the bags under your eyes threatened to give your all-nighter away, you turned and hugged her from behind. She was taken back by the gesture but put her cup down to hug your arms to her, and it made you smile. You kissed the top of her head and turned around to finish your journey to the kitchen, leaving her to spin in her seat, watching you in confusion.

You were pulling a box of cereal down from the cupboard when she spoke up, startling you,

"What's going on?"

"Jesus, Wanda," You muttered under your breath, turning to get the milk as she crossed her arms, "Scared the crap outta me."

She didn't say anything, just watched you with narrowed eyes as you made the cereal and then you raised your eyebrows in question lifting a spoonful halfway to your mouth.

"You're being weird." She told you bluntly and you rolled your eyes.

"What? I can't hug my best friend? I feel like we barely see each other," You shrugged, hoping that was a good enough explanation and then something popped into your head, "Wanna watch a movie or mess with Bucky?"

"I can't today," She furrowed her eyebrows, still not convinced, "I promised Pietro I'd help him with something," She paused when your face fell to disappointment, "Unless there's something you're not telling me?"

"No, I just thought-"

"Because I can bail on my brother if I have a reason." She tried one last time.

You put your bowl down and grabbed her in another hug, but this time it only took her a second to reciprocate it.

"No," You held her tightly and she frowned, "You go with your brother," You pulled back to run a hand down her hair and then cup her cheeks, squishing them lightly, "You're awesome."

She started laughing and blushing, swatting your hands away, and you just smiled after her as she turned to leave.

"You're strange!" She yelled when she glanced back to see you still watching her.

"Love you too!" You shouted back, making her laugh again as she went down the hall.

You sighed with a small, sad smile as you checked the time, realizing Steve would be finishing up his work out and heading here soon so you ditched your bowl and bolted down to the lab.

"Doctor," You nodded to Bruce and then looked to Tony who was also in a lab coat, "Doctor."

"Hey, Y/-" Bruce started before Tony cut him off with a formal,

"Doctor."

Making you smile brightly and then you walked around the table to hug them both.

"You do some great work in here," You gestured towards everything they were working on, not fully understanding it, "And you make really cool suits."

"You feeling okay? Not contagious, are you?" Tony joked, but then looked almost concerned while Bruce peered up at you from behind his glasses where he was leaning over the table.

"Perfectly healthy." You tightened your smile.

"Mmk." Tony squinted, not buying it.

"Peter coming by?" You asked, looking around for emphasis, before Bruce went to say something about your change in attitude too.

"School." Tony told you shortly, getting distracted by his work again.

"Tell him I said hey, okay?" You requested as you made your way out and he waved you off without even glancing in your direction.

You nodded to yourself, knowing that this wasn't much different from most days, and everyone gets busy or distracted. You were just feeling extra sentimental and wished they were more available, but it was short notice, so you would never blame them.

Sam, Natasha, and most of SHIELD were out on a mission, so the tower felt extra empty. You knew after Steve and Bucky worked out in the gym; they'd head up for breakfast which is why you avoided that floor for now.

You weren't mad at Steve, more at yourself, and you knew you should apologize or at least talk to him, but you just hated awkward, uncomfortable-

"Doll?"

Conversations.

"Yes," You raised your eyebrows, cursing yourself for being so lost in thought, and just now noticing this situation would've been avoided if you remembered he likes to shower before breakfast, "Yep, that's uh, that's me. I guess," You rambled uncomfortably, "Or is it all women? Ew, do you see women as dolls? Like playthings? Oh, gross," You scrunched your face and he waited patiently for you to finish, an amused smile crossing his features, but you ignored it, "Like we're fragile or something? Or do you call Bucky 'doll' too?"

"I've never called Bucky doll." He raised a hand, needing to draw the line.

"Who've you called it before?" You cocked an eyebrow, feeling more relaxed with this conversation than the one you were expecting, and still unashamedly trying to avoid it.

He thought for a moment before answering,

"I think just you."

"But I'm a badass." You grumbled and he laughed.

"It's like a..." He tried to find the right wording, "A term of endearment. I meant no offense."

"Okay," You nodded to yourself, "You may continue."

"What's going on with you? I've been-"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" You muttered under your breath, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Texting you all morning," He continued, "I'm really sorry I pushed you last night."

"Me too," You let out a deep sigh, "I'm sorry, I mean."

He stood there for a long moment, a sad smile on his face, and you swayed back and forth on your feet, not knowing what else to say. But you knew something he didn't, and you knew you'd have a million regrets if you didn't pour more of your soul out to him. The thing about being open, honest, and vulnerable is, you really hated it. It was hard to be blunt about your feelings and even though everything in the last day or so has made you more willing, it doesn't mean it wasn't hard.

"I love you." You offered instead, hoping the truth behind the words were enough to depict everything else.

By the look on his face, the words were more than enough.

He scooped you into his arms and kissed you fiercely, making you laugh against him. He could be so cheesy, but you secretly loved how it kind of gave you a glimpse into how he was in the past before everything changed for him. He put you down gently and took your hand, bringing the back of it to his lips.

"Such a gentleman." You teased and he chuckled with a blush tinting his cheeks.

"Not always." He winked and you challenged him with a look of your own.

"Yeah? How so?"

"I think you know." He practically growled, his voice dropping, and you smiled.

"Don't start something you can't finish, Captain Kirk," You smirked, smacking his backside, and laughing when he jumped a little, "What're you doing for, oh, I dunno, the rest of the day?"

You wiggled your eyebrows up at the flustered soldier and he was having trouble remembering if there was something before you could almost see the lightbulb go off in his head.

"I have a party to go to later, but besides that I think I'm free."

"Open bar?"

"Not sure," He tilted his head with a mischievous glint in his eye, "Wasn't given many details."

"You up for a pre-party that consists of a picnic on the roof with yours truly?" You bit your lip to stop the hopeful smile from coming across too excited and raised your eyebrows, meeting his eyes when he smiled.

"That sounds perfect."

He bent down to kiss you again, but then backed off, noticing he was sweatier than he thought he was. You laughed at his sudden self-awareness and let him split off to the showers while you went to change.

You were oddly nervous as you slipped on an oversized black knit sweater and a white skirt, feeling like it was a first date when you knew that was far from the truth. You put on some moccasin slippers and your hair was tied up, knowing otherwise it would get blown every which way in the cold New York air.

After you finished getting ready, you headed into the kitchen to steal whatever you could carry that was deemed picnic worthy. You texted him to bring extra blankets and any liquor he could find and then to meet you up there.

Once you got to the roof, you started second guessing your decision of no pants, but in another few minutes he was coming up with more blankets than you thought the tower would have.

"Figured you'd be cold." He read your mind, handing you a couple after setting one down for the two of you could comfortably sit on it.

You wrapped one around your shoulders, opening one side when he scooted closer, and then a thicker one on your lap that the two of you shared as well.

"If you weren't so big, we'd have more blanket," You chuckled, gesturing to how it just barely covered both your shoulders, "I bet before all this," You poked his arm, "You were a better cuddler for the ladies."

"Hey," He pouted, and you reached up to kiss his cheek, smiling, "I doubt you would've been into me."

"You really think I'm so shallow," You shook your head with a frown and then looked up at the sky, "I like your spunk, not what you've got going on in the trunk," You nudged him, "That's all just a bonus."

He was blushing as he laughed, shaking his head, and then put an arm around you. You leaned over to rest your head on him and let your eyes flutter shut. He kissed the top of your head and whispered he loved you into your hair, kissing the same spot again afterwards.

You rested your hand on his thigh and watched as he put his free one on top before turning it over to link it with his. You smiled at how they fit together and wished this moment could last a lifetime.

The two of you sat there for a long time, talking about everything and nothing all at once, before sifting through what you brought up. You started eating the chocolate covered strawberries Tony accidentally bought Pepper as part of the anniversary present he got for her, and since she's allergic, you figured they were up for grabs.

You fed one to Steve, laughing at how cliché it looked, and then tackled him in a kiss immediately afterwards. He laid back on the blanket as you crawled over him, giggling into his neck between kisses, and he held you closely. He made sure the blanket was still around you when a slight shiver went through your body, and you pressed even closer for warmth.

"You taste downright delicious." You smirked, wiping the strawberry juice off his bottom lip after he took another bite and then licking it off your finger, making the soldier groan underneath you.

"And you're driving me crazy." He growled lowly, flipping you both so you were on your back.

"So much warmer." You thought out loud and he grinned proudly.

He held your hip with one hand while the other cupped under your jaw, tilting your head up to receive his kiss that he almost immediately deepened. He didn't pull back as the hand on your hip moved to your upper thigh, trailing up, and sending goosebumps across your skin. You grabbed his arm for leverage as he pressed further, and you gasped into his mouth. Your eyes were squeezed shut so you missed how his darkened and he moved like he knew your body better than you did. Your eyebrows furrowed and you bit your lip when he pulled away, clenching your fist into his sleeve before he leaned down so you could bury your face in his neck with a whimper as you finished.

He kissed you again when he pulled away, completely mesmerized as you came down from your high and you steadied your breathing before looking back up at him again.

"That was-"

"Unexpected." You finished with a dazed look and he smiled.

"Mm, I was gonna say hot," He smirked, "But that works too."

You laughed lightly, pulling on the back of his neck so he came close enough to kiss, and he happily obliged. The two of you lazily kissed for a few minutes before it got heated again and soon enough, neither of you were wearing too many clothes.