Natasha finally got the delivery she was expecting. One morning, she heard a muffled noise behind her door and found a yellow enveloppe had ben slipped under. The shadow she could see standing behind on the hallway vanished just as quickly as it arrived. She picked up the enveloppe and checked the content. A passport with her picture made under a random alias. Lauren Farrel. It was even better than running the risk to leave any physical evidence of Natalie Rushman in case Steve tried to find her after she had gone; and part of her now feared he would indeed try to search for her.

By the end of the day she had booked her flight tickets.

Steve called a few days later to her surprise, only a week after he had left for Europe. He said he got a few days off and took it as an opportunity to come back to New York city for the weekend. She suspected this little get away was an excuse to see her when he could have just stayed in Europe until his next mission.

She went to meet him that same evening, dressed in a silky white dress. She walked across the venue and could swear she saw Steve and Barnes lean backwards on their seats when she approached. They both got up their seats and stood like gentlemen while rearranging their uniforms.

She greeted Barnes, who kissed her white-gloved hand with a dwelling look and an alluring smile. She then went up to Steve who welcomed her with a grin and a spontaneous hug he shortened right away not to embarrass her.

The three of them went sit at a table and watched the band as they performed on stage while couples were twisting on the dancefloor.

'How's Europe?' she asked.

'I'm afraid not as exciting as here,' Barnes spoke, slumping on the seat. 'Women there aren't as pretty as you.'

She shook her head.

'When did you even find time to meet women on your camp?' she exclaimed.

Steve smirked.

'Don't ask,' he said. 'For Bucky, it's a talent. There is no place isolated enough for him not to come across ladies.'

Barnes grinned proudly behind him as if Steve had just told his most heroic adventure.

'Oh, so I take it you also found a way to entertain yourself with some ladies, didn't you Captain Rogers?' she purred.

His cheeks flushed noticeably.

'No, no,' he aswered, shaking his hand. 'I'd never do that. As you said so yourself, I'm not that comfortable around women.'

She smirked.

'Maybe because they're never quite the woman you have in mind,' she said, referring to Peggy.

'Yeah, Steve!' Barnes chimed in. 'Maybe because they're never quite the woman you have in mind.'

He smirked smugly at what she assumed was also a reference to agent Carter.

'Give me a break,' Steve said, rolling his eyes. His best friend's teasing had been going wild for a while apparently and started to wear him out.

A new song began, at a faster pace than the one before.

'Natalie, will you do me the honor?', Barnes asked as he stood up and stretched his hand to her.

She smiled.

'It was about time somebody make me dance!,' she answered. She left her purse to Steve and held Barnes hand. He made her stand up and led her to the dancefloor.

Following this unfamiliar tempo turned out to be easier than she had thought and it seemed that her dancing skills knew no limits of genre or beat. Barnes made her sway right and left, twirled her till an ecstatic laughter escaped her lips.

Never had she thought she would be dancing with the man who was the reason why she had travelled to the past in the first place, even less she had thought she would be dancing for pure entertainment and find pleasure in it.

She threw a glimpse at Steve, who was watching them both from their table, a large smile on but a hint of envy.

'I'm glad he met you,' Barnes said after she twirled back into his arms. She frowned in confusion. 'I can see what he saw in you and I'm glad you were the one who kept him company while I was away.'

She nodded slightly and for a moment happiness totally slipped out of her. She hated the void and the confusion she would leave behind in Seve's life. She now knew Steve would never accept it as easily as she first thought he would.

'Thanks for telling me that,' she said. 'I'm glad and honored I was the one to keep him company.'

Barnes smiled at her then put his mind back into the music, he swayed her again with the music.

When the song ended, they both returned to the table and Barnes apologized before heading off to freshen up in the gents.

'How was it?' Steve asked as she sat back in her seat.

'It was thrilling. Now I get why people are so obssessed with those parties,' she said, shaking her veil in front of her face to get fresh air . She had read a lot about the fourties and the proliferation of venues and ballrooms, but it was another thing to experience it. There was a natural joy, despite the sad times of war, that made people more ecstatic in this decade than hers.

'Bucky is quite a dancer,' Steve smiled lightly. He looked her straight in the eye an instant after. 'I'm happy to see you,' he spoke softly. 'I'm sorry, I lost my manners and didn't find the good opportunity to say it sooner, but I really looked forward to this night.'

She stared intently. 'I'm happy to see you, too,' she answered. She could tell a part of him feared his going away to war would affect their friendship and grow them apart. He seemed to make every bit of effort not to let it happen.

He rubbed his jaw nervously. 'And you look beautiful, tonight', he added. His compliment affected her more than the countless other men, during missions or in the daily life, who had said the exact same words to her. Her heart glowed at the realization Steve looked at her that way. An unreasonable part of her wanted him to find her attractive.

She smiled a smile she had never used with him until then. A seductive smile? It was every shade of wrong and she knew it, but at this exact moment, it just felt...right.

'Better than Marleen Monroe, I have no doubt,' he commented.

It made her smile. 'It's Marilyn,' she said.

He closed his eyes and winced. 'Almost right.'

'I promise I won't tell her,' she murmured with a teasing smile then mimed to zip her mouth and throw the key away.

Barnes came back a few minutes later. The conversation focused on their latest mission with the help of the Howling Commando, not that she didn't know with the headlines.

It was quite amazing how she had witnessed the transition from Captain America, the musical star to the war hero. He was slowly becoming the figure she had always known before coming here.

Barnes was the first to start every anecdote or embarrassing story related to Steve the commando for their past week. Steve was always the one to follow gladly with his personal live commentary.

The music slowed down and couples started to rise to their feet to head for a more intimate dance. She watched in silence, both curious and perhaps, even if she wouldn't admit, expectant.

'I'm gonna go get us some drinks,' Steve announced after clearing his throat then went to the bar.

She couldn't help let her attention turn on him and she watched him as he ordered his drinks to the barman and waited quietly while tapping his fingers on the bar.

'Trust me, he wants to', Barnes said next to her.

She slightly startled and diverted her eyes to him.

'Pardon?', she asked.

The corner of his mouth rose. 'To dance. Nothing would please him more than to ask you for a dance.'

She glanced back at Steve who was now absently looking at the band playing on stage, showing not one bit of interest in the matter. She looked back at Barnes who still had his smirk on.

'Then why doesn't he? He knows I would never decline.'

Barnes took a glimpse at his friend then at her. 'Steve is a man of word,' he explained, twitching his shoulder up. 'He sort of made a promise to someone -although I would say he made it more to himself, really- and he's got too much honor to break it.'

She raised an eyebrow, intrigued and yet not surprised. This was the Steve she had always known.

'Is that why you asked me to dance?' she asked. 'To make it up for him?'

He shook his head and laughed lightly.

'There's nothing I wouldn't do for Steve,' he confessed unashamedly. 'But I never said I am as noble as him. I never miss the chance to dance with a gorgeous woman.'

He smiled cockily. Barnes had the amazing ability to be both a gentleman and a naughty boy, and he had the talent for switching from one persona to another in an instant. That made him unpredictable and she liked it. She had learned all her life to deal with the unpredictable until becoming it, too. She knew it was in his nature to be a flirt but she also knew he would never do anything that would hurt his best friend. So far, he could tell he had not reached that line yet, mostly because he had understood she wasn't the kind of woman to get easily offended.

She turned and looked at Steve again. Wondering how the circumstances of such a promise had been made to Peggy (because she knew it could only be to Peggy). And just as Barnes, she refused to let her selfish desire come on the way. As badly as she wanted him to invite her to dance, she also forbid herself to be the woman who would give him his first dance. Peggy was, and was to remain, his only best girl.

'Natalie? Natalie?', she heard. She was pulled out of her reverie and music and discussions became loud again. She turned to Barnes who looked at her with a frown on his face.

'I'm sorry,' she said. "You were saying?'

He looked at her closely then looked away and shook his head with an amused chuckle.

'I was inviting you to dance but it seems I'm not quite the man you had in mind.'

His words echoed hers from before then he averted his eyes to look in the same direction she was before he interrupted her thoughts. Steve was standing by the bar, picking up the drinks.

Barnes' conniving look and the realization that was slowly growing within overwhelmed her.

'I-I'm sorry. I just need to go freshen up.'

She rose  on her feet, Barnes stood up politely and watched as she made her way out of the ballroom. He sat back and she heard him whisper to himself in utter confusion: 'What is wrong with me becoming totally invisible?'

She swiftly went past Steve without any explanation and rushed to the ladies room. She locked the door behind her and leaned on the marble lavatories. She watched in disarray as she looked herself in the mirror but didn't recognize her reflection.

'What are you doing, Natasha?' she whispered to herself, trying to shake some sense into herself. She felt like she was failing her mission on a level she had never experienced herself. On an amotional level.

She came back to her seat five minutes, looking as fresh and collected as when she had first walked in.

At the end of the evening, she said goodbyes to the boys, looked at Steve longer than she should have then she took a cab home. She dropped the keys on the cabinet in the corridor, dropped her purse on the armchair in her bedroom then she let herself fall on the bed. She took her heels off and dropped her head back at the edge of the mattress. She looked at the white ceiling on which shadows from the outside were reflecting and one single thought obsessed her at this moment. How badly she wanted Steve to be with her, right here, right now.

She watched the ceiling in silence as she thought of him stroking her face and slowly coming nearer and nearer to her lips. She imagined him kissing her. First gently, innocently, then with a passion betraying his vivid longing. She wanted him to kiss her like she was the sweetest nectar he had ever tasted. She wanted him to be lying on top of her as he would finally let go of her mouth to taste her neck then her collarbone. She wanted his hands to roam over every curve of her body with unadulterated boldness but a sheer tenderness. She wanted his fingers to leave a trail of goosebumps on every inch of skin they would graze. She wanted him to breathe in her neck and whisper her name in her ear like a chanting as their two bodies would move together in a perfect rhythm. She wanted to cling onto his strong back as a moan of pleasure would burst out of her mouth.

Yes, right here, right now, she wanted Steve more than she had ever wanted any man. She didn't want some basic sex, she wanted Steve to make love to her. Slowly, tenderly, passionately. And to worship her like she was the goddess of his heart, of his body, and of his very soul.

She wanted all of that and she knew she couldn't have it. She took her eyes off the ceiling and rolled to lie on her stomach. She let out a grunt of frustration.

His awkwardness was adorable, his sweetness made him hot, his bashfulness made him sexy. This was all his fault!

'Damn you, Rogers', she groaned then buried her face into the blanket.