"I can't believe Rico brought all of us out here." Claire sighed peacefully and dug her toes deep into the sand. Sammy and Charity played at our feet. I hadn't seen her look this content in a long time. "Business must be good." She looked over at me and smiled. I was surprised. She hated the business and everything about anything that had to do with Rico.

But if Claire was smiling, I was smiling, too.

I grinned back at her and nodded.

Then I looked out across the blue-green waves and around at all the colorful rooftops that surrounded us. It felt like we were smack dab in the middle of a painting.

God's masterpiece.

I looked up at the sky and smiled again. It was hard to believe that just a few short hours ago, we had been up there, higher than the clouds.

From where we were sitting now, the sky that we had just come down from looked exactly like the one back home, the one that we could never, in a million years, dream to touch.

For some reason, that surprised me.

My same clouds, that had been following me my whole life, slowed down to acknowledge that they had seen me, too, right up there with them, and then they continued on their way.

They felt familiar to me now. They comforted me. I no longer felt like they were freer than I could ever be. I had been up there with them, and I knew without a doubt that I could be back up there with them again. It felt freeing to know that I could go almost to the moon anytime I felt like it.

I smiled faintly as they passed.

When I looked back over at Claire, she was watching me with a funny expression.

"Why are you looking at the sky like that, Jazz?"

"Oh..." I shrugged. "No reason."

She held her hand out to me and I took it.

"Do you ever think about home?" I asked. Claire jolted and her eyes widened. "You ever...think about mama ...and..."

Claire cut me off.

"Hell no." Then she dropped my hand and leaned over to help Charity brush the sand off her chunky little legs.

"I do..."

She cut me off again. "Fuck them. Daddy. All them. Jazz," her eyes were blazing when she turned to me. "He tried to kill my baby. He tried to kill Sammy." Tears ran down her face. "Look at her, Jazz." Her eyes bore a hole into my heart. "Look at her."

I did.

She had her back to us playing in the sand. She was so small, so innocent. So trusting. So happy...

I dropped my eyes.

"A baby, Jazz. My baby. My sweet baby girl. She never did anything to anyone, and he tried to kill her."

I couldn't do anything but nod in agreement.

"Nobody did shit to help me but you and Wally B." Our eyes locked. "So, no. I don't think about home. Fuck that place. I am never going back."

I let the conversation die after that and looked back out over the water. I wondered what it would be like to just...jump in. And keep swimming.

Until I couldn't swim anymore.

"I'm pregnant." I barely heard Claire's voice above the waves.

I grinned at her.

She grinned back.

Her smile faded slightly, but not much. "I'm gonna have to start working at the plant with Christian. We need more money."

I looked over at the babies, and then back at her. "Remmey don't help y'all?"

Claire nodded. "He do, but Christian don't like takin' his money. Not without doin' work for him..."

I scanned Claire's eyes and wondered if she knew why were there in Mexico right then.

"Rico can help, Claire."

She screwed up her face. "I don't want anything from him."

I continued to watch her. "Claire...you know we here because...business is about to get really big...and..." The more I said, the angrier she looked. "There're some people...out here ...that we need to make things happen, so..."

She didn't let me finish.

Claire suddenly jumped up and threw her sunhat onto the ground. She looked like she could spit, she was so mad. Then she stormed away and just left the babies sitting right there.

I sat with them a little while longer, and then took them inside.

Later that night, you could hear Claire screaming at Christian all the way through the walls. Her voice echoed all up and down the hallway. Luckily, there were enough of us for Rico to reserve every room on that floor. Really, I still hadn't seen any other guests besides us in the whole place, so maybe we were just the only ones there. The staff didn't even come up to that floor unless we called down to request something and, even then, they would just leave it outside the door and would be gone by the time I stepped out into the hallway to get it.

Claire shouted, "Rico's bullshit" and "your damn habit" like seventeen times.

Loud enough for the whole world to hear.

She screamed for hours.

The night dragged on with nothing to do but listen to Claire rip Christian a new one, and Rico never came back to the room. I started to wonder who he was spending his time with on our family vacation.

Claire never stopped screaming.

My nerves were raw. I could only imagine how the babies were feeling right them. I was about ready to rip somebody...mostly Rico...a new one, too, by the time I heard a knock at the door.

Remmey was standing there in all black, as usual. He looked damn good, but very out of place in our sunny Mexican paradise.

"Jazzy Baby," he kissed my cheek and then just stared at me.

I covered my breasts when I remembered the pink chiffon baby doll nighty that I was wearing, just for Rico, when and if he ever came to bed.

Remmey cleared his throat and fixed his face.

"Where's Rico?" I demanded, before he could even start with the excuses for him. "Why isn't he back yet?"

Remmey didn't answer.

"Remmey. Is he with..."

Remmey looked behind him down the hall and then stepped closer to me. He put his hands on my arms and kind of moved me back into the room.

"Jazzy...don't," he whispered in my ear.

"Don't what? This was supposed to be our trip. He promised. I know he sent you to me, Remmey."

I was getting angrier and my voice was rising above Claire's.

Remmey stepped into the room and cupped my face in his hands. Then he closed the door and locked it. "Don't Jazzy, baby," he whispered against my lips. "Don't." He kissed me softly and looked into my eyes. "I need your help." I calmed down a little. "I need you to go downstairs and have a drink wit' Christian." I screwed up my face. "I need you to do that for me."

I glared up into his dark, unyielding, yet always understanding gaze, and my anger melted away. He stooped down low and pulled me up into a tight hug. My barely covered nipples hardened through the almost nonexistent nighty when they grazed against his solid chest.

They always did. I couldn't help it.

And Remmey knew it.

He grinned as his eyes traveled all the way down my scantily clad body and then back up to my face.

He kissed my lips again. "Thanks, Jazzy Baby. I'll be back tonight. Leave the door unlocked for me." He paused as his gaze slowly drifted downward once more. "Wear something else."

And then he walked off.

A few minutes later, Lola knocked on the door as I was slipping on my shoes.

"Hey Jazzy Jazz!" She had Charity in her arms and Sammy by the hand. "Remmey in there talkin' to Claire. He asked me to watch the girls in here while you go talk to Christian."

I couldn't really do anything but nod ok.

She walked past me like all of this was just part of the trip and turned the television on for the girls.

Christian was sitting at the bar, deep into what looked like his third drink if the empty glasses around him were telling the truth.

"Hey Jazz." He looked up sadly when I sat down next to him. He motioned for the bartender to bring me one of what he was drinking. It was tequila on the rocks. Straight tequila. Cold. Nothing else. "Boy, your sister sure got a mouth on her."

He shook his head, drained his glass, and motioned for another.

I took a sip and almost choked to death. It felt like I was drinking rubbing alcohol as it burned its way slowly down my chest.

Christian chuckled and patted my back.

"Jazz..." he looked so desperate and stressed. I hoped he wasn't jonesing. "We need money. I don't know why Claire won't just fall the fuck in line like everybody else."

I tried not to let my face show what I was thinking.

"She tell you she pregnant again?" I nodded. "This one better be a boy. Too many fucking women in my house."

I frowned.

"Sorry, Jazz." Christian read my face and then turned back toward the bar. He drained that glass and waved for another.

It was almost 2:30 in the morning before I finally decided that I wasn't about to let Christian pass out at the bar with only me and the bartender down there to pick him up. I put Christian's arm around my neck and helped him up off the stool. The bartender saw that we were leaving and nodded to me before collecting all of our...mostly Christian's...empty glasses.

I noticed that, just like with everything else we did in Mexico, the bartender acted like our tab had already been paid.

I helped Christian to his own room before stumbling back to my own.

Lola and the girls were gone.

I left the door unlocked, like Remmey asked, and was almost asleep when I felt him climb into the bed next to me. I knew it was him because I didn't even hear the door open.

"Where's Rico?"

"Jazzy...don't."

"Where the hell is Rico, Remmey?"

I'd had a few myself down at the bar with Christian, and felt like starting a fight, too, after hearing him go on and on about my sister and how she wouldn't just "fall the fuck in line like everybody else." I knew it would have been a waste of time to get into it with Christian when he could barely even stand up by himself, and Rico never even bothered to bring his ass home, so...the only one left was Remmey.

It wasn't fair, but that's what it was.

I knew I was wrong, but I had to let it out.

"Jazzy, baby..." Remmey ran his hand down my arm and then over my breast. I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me, Remmey. Where the hell is Rico? Is he with Ruby?" Thinking about the way they had strolled hand in hand into the hotel together, I started seeing red. A rich, bloody, drunken red. Remmey sat up in the bed and ran a hand over his face. "Helena?"

He looked over at me quickly.

"I know she's here, Remmey. I heard you tell him that Helena was downstairs waiting for him."

I was so mad, I could spit nails.

It was bad enough that I had lost Remmey to Helena and Lola, but now I had to share Rico with Helena, too? It was what it was with Ruby. I agreed to that up front.

But Helena?

I didn't even see her coming.

Again.

Because she never talked.

Sneaky bitch.

Rico was supposed to be with me.

When I started to say something else, Remmey put his hand over my mouth and then laid back down beside me. He pinned my thigh down with his knee so that I couldn't sit up again.

"Jazz. Don't." He whispered it softly, close to my face. "I mean it."

I knew that he was dead serious and nodded ok.

He took his hand slowly away from my mouth.

"He ain't wit' Ruby. She in there wit' Lola. Christian in there wit' yo sistah and the girls. Everybody where they supposed to be, Jazz."

I shook my head no.

Rico was most definitely not where he was supposed to be.

"Jazz...did Rico tell you what we really doin' here?" I nodded. "What he tell you? Why we here?"

"We startin' a new pipeline."

"That all he tell you?" I nodded. "Then that's all you need to know, Jazzy Baby."

He touched me again.

"Remmey...get out. I know he sent you to me to fuck me into submission. He told me that's what y'all do."

I tried to sit up again.

He pinned me down harder with his knee.

"He send you to Claire, too? To make her fall in line, too? Christian told me that he couldn't make her get wit' it, so Rico must have sent you to fuck her until she did what he wanted her to do, too."

Remmey immediately went from looking like he wanted to hold me to looking like he wanted to hurt me.

Bad.

"I don't touch your sister, Jazz. You know that. I ain't never touched her. She my daughter, Jazzy. You know that."

For some reason, the old feeling of not having anyone on my side washed over me, as soon as I heard the words, "she's my daughter." I felt defeated, and I'm sure Remmey could feel all of the air go out of me, because his face changed as soon as it did.

"What's wrong with you, Jazz?" he asked in a much softer tone.

I didn't answer but shifted my weight, trying to get out from under him.

"Jazzy, baby...stop." I tried to push him away. "Jazz, stop." Remmey's voice was calm, but ice-cold anger was still rolling across his face like a blizzard. "You ain't goin' nowhere, and you ain't loud talkin' me, either."

I stopped struggling, and Remmey loosened his grip.

"Jazzy...Rico ain't here. That's it. I'm sorry."

"Get out!" I shouted. "Why are you covering for Rico? I know he's with some other bitch!"

Remmey's eyes widened and he covered my mouth again. "When the fuck you start actin' like this, Jazz?" I glared at him. "This what Rico been talkin' 'bout?"

I stared into his eyes even harder, all the way to the truth, until he finally answered my questions.

"Jazzy..." Remmey dropped his voice back down to a whisper. "Helena's people down here. She the reason we can do this. Rico wit' her and her people. This a bidness trip, Jazz. I don't know why you think it's supposed to be some damn honeymoon, or whatever the hell you thought, but it ain't, ya heard? I don't know what the fuck Rico over here tellin' you girls for both y'all to start actin' a fuckin' fool right now, but whatever the hell y'all thought we here for, it ain't that. This bidness, Jazz. Tha's it. Nothing right now is about you. Nothing."

I blinked and instantly started tearing up. Harsh words from Remmey had always hurt me more than Rico's hand ever could.

Remmey backed up off me.

"Jazz..." he laid on his back next to me and stared up at the ceiling. Running a slow hand over his face, he took a deep breath and switched gears. "I didn't come in here to make you cry. I'm not here to fuck you, to distract you, or to cover for Rico. None of that shit. I just wanted to talk to you and make sure you ok. You looked upset when I came to the door earlier, and I just...wanted to make sure you alright."

He turned onto his side and trailed his fingers down my cheek. Then he brushed the tears from my eyes and kissed my face.

"You can't jump stupid here, Jazz. We in Mexico. And we got a whole lotta shit on us right now. I told Claire the same thing. I don't know what the fuck is up wit' you girls tonight, but both y'all need to get some fuckin' bidness about yourselves. Before you get us all fucked up. We got the babies out here...this ain't where we from, Jazz. Get it the fuck together. Both y'all, ya heard? Get ya damn mind right. Dis bidness, Jazz. Nothing else." He looked at me and waited for some sort of answer. "Huh, bruh."

I looked over at him and slowed my breathing down.

He was right.

Especially about the babies being there with us.

"Rico handlin' bidness right now, Jazz. Tha's it. Rah wit' him. Chris wit' him. Me and Christian here wit' the women and children. We here protecting the family, Jazz. We can't leave you girls alone here. It ain't safe, Jazzy Baby. This place beautiful, and it fools you, but it ain't safe. You understand?" I nodded. "You calm now?" I nodded again. "Shit's about to get crazy, Jazz. I need you to be cool. Hold your position. Can you do that for me?" I nodded. "Can you handle it?" I nodded gain. "You sure?"

"Yes Remmey, I'm sure."

"Jazzy," Remmey brushed my hair away from my face. "Don't let these bitches throw you off ya game, huh." I nodded. "You gotta know your place and do what the fuck you supposed to do, ya heard?"

I nodded again, even though I was seething on the inside.

"Tha's the only way you gone make it, Jazzy Baby. I done told you one too many times. These niggas do not fuck around. Especially Rico. Don't, Jazz. Just don't. Huh bruh."

I stared up into Remmey's eyes and he stared back down at mine.

"Ok, Remmey. Ok..."

"I told you don't let him get in here." He put his hand over my heart. "We do whatever we have to do on these runs. Whatever we have to do. And whenever we ask you and the girls to come wit' us, it's because we need you, Jazzy Baby. We need you to soften us up, make it look like a real family trip. Make us look like a real family...on vacation. Not on bidness, ya dig?" I nodded.

He ran the tips of his fingers over my lips. His touch was so soft, I could barely feel it. Then he brushed his lips gently against mine.

"Whatever Rico doin' right now, Jazzy Baby...nobody cheatin' on nobody. You know that. You catchin' feelings and it's makin' you forget whatchu here for." Remmey looked deep into my eyes. "Don't ever question Rico, you hear me? He ain't the one. That's why I put him over this shit. Jazzy," Remmey cupped my chin tenderly in his hands, "he ain't the one. You understand?" I nodded. "Say it."

"Yeah, you right. I understand, Remmey. I can dig it."

"Can you handle this, Jazz?"

"Yes, I can handle all of it."

"Do you want to stay or go home?" He caressed my face and ran his thumb across my lips. "The house in Baton Rouge is safe," he whispered against my ear, like he thought someone might be listening. "It's mine free and clear, but...in my other name..."

I didn't even ask him what that was supposed to mean.

"I want to stay, Remmey. Please don't send me home."

He rubbed my nose softly with his own. "I won't force you to go, Jazz. I don't