Your Love is a Fucking Drag

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"Oh, my God, Alice. That was so long ago! Drop it."

"That's just it, Oscar. You do something, tell me to get over it, and then do another dumbass thing! I bet you're going to tell me to drop the fact you hurt my child today!"

"I spanked him! I didn't beat the shit out of him!"

"I don't give a shit! You don't get to touch my kid like that!"

The room goes awfully quiet. He doesn't say anything as he collapses into the chair in the corner. I stand by the bed, trying to figure out my next move.

Looking up at him, I realize that I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with the idea of commitment. He doesn't make me least bit happy, so what the hell am I doing? I'm going to get married to a man who doesn't appreciate me or Finn, and I'm going to move across the world with him?

The ring around my finger burned a fire in my soul. There was a moment where I hesitated before I spoke, but I pushed myself to say what was on my mind. Finally, after months of feeling this way, I said, "It's over."

"What?"

"I don't want to get married anymore." I said through the very quiet room. It was the first time I had spoken what I truly felt. I hadn't been honest with myself when I said that I wanted to marry this man.

"Seriously, Alice? I made one fucking mistake and you cancel our wedding?" he yells, waking the baby up. Finley whimpers in his bed. "You get that is the dumbest fucking thing you've ever done."

"I don't want to fucking marry you!" I shout at him. Hastily, I grab his suitcase from the floor, and unzipped it on the bed. He tried to grab my hand as I took his clothes from the wooden dresser and tossed them into the bag. "Let go of me!"

"I love you! You can't do this." He shouted, clutching my wrist crudely. He showed only furious anger.

"Let go of me!" I repeated, pulling my hand away. My wrist ached, but I continued to pack his bag. "Go to your mum's house, Oscar. I don't want you here."

"Alice, come on! I didn't do a damn thing."

"Get your things and leave!" I snap.

"You're overreacting!"

"Get the fuck out!" I scream, zipping up his bag, and throwing the heavy thing into his arms. "Get out, Oscar!"

"I don't get what the hell happened."

"I'm sick of trying to make things work. I'm not happy, okay? Just go to your mum's. I'll mail your shit to you!"

"No, I'm flying home with you." He said. "That's my fucking apartment."

"I'm going home and I'm packing my things! I'm going home to my mother's."

"I can't believe you're doing this!" He yelled at me. "You can't fucking take him away from me!"

"He isn't yours, Oscar! He isn't fucking yours!"


Finally, he broke down and did what I had asked. He grabbed all of his belongings from the hotel room, including my engagement ring. He left for his mother's house that night and didn't return to the hotel the next day. In fact, when it was time to fly home, he didn't come. I had packed Finley and I into a cab and flew home alone.

When I returned home, my mother picked me up from the airport. She took me straight to my old flat and waited for me to pack up our things.

"I can't get all of it right now."

"Get everything you need." She said.

That night, I drove to my mother's house and fell into my old routine. It was very simple despite my thoughts during the previous months where I always thought of leaving Oscar as an impossible task. It always seemed like a distant idea that would never really happen. But as soon as I made the decision, it seemed like the easiest thing I've ever done.

Finley and I shared my old room until I got the go ahead to move him into Adam's old one. Until we got him a new crib, he shared a bed with me, and his toys were all over my old bedroom.

Oscar called me twice a day for a week. Leaving me voicemails that asked why the fuck I could do something like this to him. "He's like my child now! You can't do this, Alice." But he soon grew tired and the phone calls stopped.

I felt free and liberated to do whatever I believed would benefit my son and I. While I feared a routine-filled life that was nothing but boring, my life ended up being better without the burden of Oscar's presence.

I was finally becoming a person without the need of a man in my life to make me less lonely. And I could finally fix the biggest mistake I made in the past.


*A/N, 

two more chapters left! That is insane. I hope you liked this. I know it's kind of boring. but, hey, bye Oscar! I hated that guy. 

Comment your thoughts. 

Oh, and I'm going to start a Nina and Ed story after this one ends! 

-Madisen

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