Alice

"Hi." I said.

"Hello." He said.

His bag sat limp at his side. His sneakers were untied and scuffed at the tips. He usually wore old, broken in shoes on the plane to be comfortable. Instead of his usual sweatshirt garb, he wore a plaid button down shirt and khakis. The rest of him was slightly a mess; his face scruffy with a ginger beard that he had yet to shave, and oily unkempt hair.

He glanced around me, peering around the slight curve of my body. The crowded airport was free from paparazzi and his son. His cheeks warmed and grew a rose color. He scratched the back of his neck, waiting for me to say something. Besides a few minutes between Finley's naps or rushed conversations here and there, we were rarely alone together, and it was awkward.

"I just thought I'd pick you up." I explained. "In case there was anyone here, waiting for you."

"Oh!" He replied promptly. Bending down, I reached for his duffel bag. He shoved my hand away. "I've got it."

As we began walking, Ed took out a baseball cap and put it on his rough-looking head. I couldn't help the laughter that fell from my lips as my eyes caught the ugly thing. Biting his cheek, he tried to hide a small smirk as he glimpsed down at me.

I snorted, "Is that some sort of disguise?"

"What?" He asked me. His shoulders bouncing up and down as he lightly laughed along with me. "I don't want anyone coming up to me."

"Scared they might catch you with me?" I asked. It wasn't meant to be spiteful. In a sense, it was a playful remark between friends.

"No." He stammered. "I mean, sort of."

We continued walking on in silence for a moment. I thought about the small shrug and the sort of. In the last year, we hadn't discussed the crowds of people, the fans, or the paparazzi. He took a break from everything to focus on his son. He avoided everyone at all costs. It seemed easy. It never dawned on me that we could be found out because we are always so careful. We both want our son out of the limelight and we have taken all the precautions to do so.

"I'm just looking out for you."

"I don't care if they know who I am." I tell him. "People already fucking know my name. Might as well give them a picture to match it."

"No." He told me gently. "Nothing will ever be private again for you, Alice."

"It isn't like we're dating." I responded. "They have nothing to dig for. Or suspect..."

He stopped for a moment. He set his bag down by his feet once more. Biting his lip, he nodded casually. Ed said, "You're right."

"I am?" I asked jokingly, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah. If they ever saw you, they'd think you were a friend." He replied, shrugging. "We've never held hands, kissed, or even hugged in public. If anyone caught anything on camera, it'd be worthless."

Grabbing for his bag, he started walking again. I had to jog to catch up with him; my shoes clicking against the tiled floor. We continued on in a sour silence as we pushed through crowds of travelers, searched through the parking garage, and reached my car.

"Still driving this shitty thing, I forgot." He asks.

"Hey, I like it!"

I popped the trunk for him and he threw his bag inside. He hit the roof and laughed loudly. "It's a piece of shit."

Smiling, I shook my head. "Shut up." I said before climbing inside and starting the engine.

He buckled his seatbelt as I played around with the stereo. Nudging me with his shoulder, he said, "Thanks for picking me up."

"It's no problem."

"No, I only asked so I could see Finn quicker." He tells me. My heart sinks a bit, but it was suspected he felt this way. "You didn't have to go out of your way."

"Again," I said, exhaling. Avoiding eye contact, I back out of the parking space, and veered out of the lot. "It was no problem."

"It's a long drive back to your place." Ed said. "I feel bad. I could've taken a taxi."

"Just shut up." I said, trying to remain calm. My voice sounded strained and I didn't want him to hear the sudden decline in energy from me. I didn't want him to think I was silly for feeling bummed about some dumb thing he said. "I said it was all right."

"Okay..."

We drove along in another silence. Although he was in Finley's life, that didn't automatically fix who we were. Our life together was still scarred and as much as we tried to move past it, there was always something there stopping us from fully connecting again.

I didn't expect us to be anything but friends for the rest of time. He had moved on long ago when he dated many girls. And maybe I had dated Oscar, but it was nothing like my past relationship with Ed. It was proven that Ed had felt something entirely special for these other girls.

I don't hold him at fault for him falling in love with others. It was only natural of him to find someone else; whether it worked out or not. And although he's single as of right now, finding no time for women on his break, there is no reason for us to rekindle our romance further than friendship and parents.

We can raise a child together without being romantically linked.

I don't know what I expected when I picked him up today. Maybe I imagined us seeing each other, without Finley and without a constant reminder of a failed romance, and we'd fall into each other's arms. Not exactly amorous, but a sort of intimacy I haven't felt from him in years. And the friendship we had lost would eventually return.

Merging onto the freeway, his song he won the award for comes on. Immediately, he hits the button and changes the station. I question him with wide eyes from across the car. He shrugs.

"Nina?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know anyone else you've dated."

"Yeah, you do."

"No, I don't."

"It was everywhere."

"I never paid any attention."

"Bullshit!" He exclaims. Ed forces a chuckle. "I was in the relationship when I started seeing Finn."

"Oh, right." I admit. "I remember."

"Athena." He reminds me. I try not to think of her. "You're right, I guess. I never once talked about her."

"You didn't have to." I told him. "Why the indifference with the song, though? Didn't you write it before you even dated her?"

"I wrote that song with no one in mind..." He said, resting his head on his open palm. He gazed out the window and at the passing cars. He sighed. "Then it became hers the second I met her."

"Bad times?"

"Good times. Bad ending."

"What happened?"

"There were so many fights in the last few days, I'm not even sure. She would say one thing, then another, and another on why she wanted to end it." He clarified for me. He bit at his nail for a moment and I unwearyingly waited for him to continue on. "She said I drank too much."

"You do."

"Not anymore."

"True..."

"I'm over it, though." He tells me. I peer over at him, trying to decipher whether he was lying or not. "It was great, then it wasn't, and now it's over. Not that bad."

I laughed uncertainly. I said, "God, I hope you didn't say that about us."

He shoved me with his hand. Grinning, he spoke, "Oh, baby, you know it took me forever to get over you."

"Good!" I shrieked lightheartedly.

I pulled into my mother's driveway. The blinds were open for every window; letting us peer into the tiny, country house from the place we were parked. After the hour-long drive, I craved to hug my baby and have something to eat.

"If you want, I could pack up Finley, and drive you both to your place." I said to Ed before either of us moved to get out of the car.

"You sure he can stay the whole weekend?" He questioned.

Ed usually saw Finn every day, for at least an hour, and only had him once a week for a whole night. It was hard to let my son away from me, but I wanted Ed to trust that I'd let him completely in his life. And this was what a real dad did.

"Of course." I said, forcing a smile.

Ed reached for the door handle. The door always stuck, so he hit it with his shoulder like a pro, and it swung open. With one leg dangling out of the car, he turned towards me. It almost felt like we were back in school.

"You can stay if you're nervous or something." Ed offers me. "I have a really nice couch."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "I think I might pass on that."

"You were all for it last night."

"I was very tired last night. I didn't know what I was saying."

"C'mon. We could watch movies and shit. It'll be fun."

"Ed, I think I'd rather sleep in a regular bed instead of the couch..." I said, the corners of my lips turning up slowly. "Finley will be fine and I'll cope with him being gone for a few days."

His face goes slack for a moment until he realizes I caught the somewhat sullen look. Pushing a smile, he shakes his head at me. He confesses, "Wouldn't it just be easier to parent if we were a couple? A real fucking family? Damn." And after he says that, he pushes himself out of my car like he didn't say anything, and leaves me staggered.

Through my rearview mirror, I watch him stand outside in the cold as he waits for me. He's waiting for me to pop the trunk so he can grab his things. He sees me sitting here as I try my best to compose myself. It was a simple thing he said that threw me under the bus instantly and now I don't know what to think, or feel, or say.

Sucking in a deep breath, I pushed open my creaky door, and let the cold air envelope me. My feet planted on the cement, I found his eyes from where he stood by the trunk.

I said loudly over the roaring wind, "Shouldn't you just leave your stuff there since I'm dropping you off?"

"Oh, right." He murmurs to himself.

I nodded. Turning, I begin walking up the stone driveway. The trees above me are whooshing from the strong winds, and my mother's pinwheel in her garden is going nuts. I put my hood up over my wavy hair to shield myself from the bone-chilling air.

"Hey, Alice!"

Pulling the strings on my hood, I tie them together to keep it tight around my head. Looking over my shoulder, I connect with his blue eyes.

"Yeah?" I inquired.

Feet away from me, Ed reaches his hand out and grabs for my arm. I let his fingers grasp my bare wrist and go along with it when he pulls me closer. His meaty arms wrap around me securely. Suddenly, it felt like everything was normal, and okay, and my heartbeat returned back to a normal pace, and I felt at peace. With his arms firmly around me, I felt warm and calm and I never wanted him to let go.

"Thanks." He whispers in my ear. He squeezes me harder. Wrapping my own arms around his thinner waist, I hugged him back so he would squeeze me even harder. I whispered back, "Don't let go."

And finally I could breathe.