It was the night of the wedding and I paced back and forth in my room looking at the dress I am to wear when I marry William and become Mrs. William Cambridge. I looked outside into the distance wondering what Spot was doing at the moment. Probably pacing around and hitting things with that pimp cane of his. He and I had been exchanging letters the past week. His friend's Racetrack, kid blink, Mush, and Jack were the messengers. When I would go out to pick out wedding decorations they would come up to me pretending to sell me something then secretly give me a letter from him. If it was our decision we would see each other in person, but I must do everything in my power to keep him out of prison.

I looked at the last letter he had given me and cried. The letter spoke of how he wished that he wasn't so poor that he could easily take me away from here and that we would have a family of our own. He told me that when I said my vows to pretend I was saying them to him, then it would be like we were truly married, but I know in my heart that is far from the truth. I am to be married to a bastard.

I walked to my bedroom door and out down the hallway and to the stairs. I was extremely thirsty so I poured myself a glass of water and chugged it down in the most unladylike way I could. "And what are you doing up this late young lady?" I turned toward the unexpected voice and saw Ms. Elenore. "My apologies. I was quite quenched." She smiled at me understandingly and sat down at the table pulling out a chair for me to sit next to her. "Wedding jitters. I remember feeling that when I married my husband."

"You have a husband." She laughed at my statement. "Sorry I didn't mean it that way."

"I understand. And yes, his name was Christopher. He was Italian. A very handsome man when I met him when I was a girl. He brought me flowers every morning trying to get my attention when we were young, but little did he know he already had my attention. I loved him so much."

I listened to her intently and smiled. "It seems you two are very much in love."

"Yes, we were."

"Were?" I furrowed my eyebrows. She then poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher and took a sip from her glass. "Yes. He died in the civil war fighting for the freedom of slavery. I loved him very much. I had two of his children. A son who is the eldest named Matthew who just turned 27 and married to a nice young seamstress named Winnifred with a child named Ruth, and I have a daughter named Lilly who is now 25 and about to give me a second grandson named John her oldest Charles." She pulled out a picture and showed me. "They are my family and a great one at that." She then showed me a picture of her husband. "He was a very noble man much like that young Mr. Conlon." I perked up. "You know him? Have you heard from him? Have you seen him?" She shook her head. "No but when he left I did some research on him and I think he is a great gentleman, hardworking too. Turns out he was a leader for the Brooklyn Newsie Strike. The paper said that the strike wouldn't have happened nor been much of a success without him. He was their key to winning. Said he had some iron backbone."

"He still does. I wish I would have known him then as well."

"It seems these pre-marital jitters are not the cause of Mr. Cambridge."

"No, it isn't. I don't love him, Elenore. He is the most awful and disgraceful person I have ever met. I hate him."

"I'm sorry, but it has to be this way."

"Why must it?"

"Because you are a woman."

"So are you and you were able to marry someone you loved."

"Still my parents had to approve of him as well." I began crying. "I love Spot so much I can't stand to marry William." I rested my head on her shoulder and she stroked my hair. "I know. I'm so sorry."

When I woke up I was in bed. My mother opened the windows and shut the bedroom doors. "Good morning. Elenore has prepared you a bath and I have breakfast made for you." She sat the tray of a hard-boiled egg and two slices of toast with jam and a small glass of orange juice. "I wanted to serve it to you this morning. You must be so excited today."

I smelt the food. The heat of the egg hit my nostrils and I wanted to vomit. "I'm sorry mother, but I think I may be sick." I stood up and rushed to the restroom and threw up inside the toilet. One of the maids followed after me and held my hair as I got sick. When I was done I stood up and rinsed my mouth out. "You're just nervous." My mother spoke up and I put on a fake smile. "Yes, I am."

We road to Manhattan down the Brooklyn Bridge and into the Manhattan city where I saw a group of men working high up on a skyscraper. Then I saw him. Spot climbing up carrying a small bag of nails his clothes dirty. He must have been working hours before I woke up. He saw me for a brief moment then quickly climbed back down setting the bag of nails down. Luckily I was by myself in the coach, because he stopped it. "Yous look so beautiful."

"Thank you." I said letting a tear slip down my face. "I'm sorry Spot. I have to be at the church on time." I inheld a shaky breath. Then I kissed it. Harshly. Intensely. And he did too. "If only that kiss was in front of the priest after I spoke my vows." He frowned and closed his eyes caressing my neck then felt the chain. He pulled out the key and smiled down at it. "I'm never taking it off."

"I know."

"Goodbye Spot." Then the coach continued on it's way.

I looked at myself in the mirror looking at the white lace running down my body and the veil with small flowers at the crown. I could do nothing but frown. "Is something wrong dear wife?"

"No nothing."

"Admiring yourself in the mirror I expect. After all you do look stunning."

"Thank you," I said. Then I felt his hand caress my sides. I knew what was going to happen and I really didn't want to. Not with him. I wanted that to stay reserved for Spot and me. He took off my dress not hesitating to lay be down on the bed naked, cold, and uncomfortable. He pried my legs open vigorously and kissed my neck harshly. "What's this?" He asked looking at the key that laid on my neck. "Just a present from one of the maids," I said. "Why would you wear something as ugly as that?" I tried to think of an excuse for him to allow me to keep it and not break it and throw it away. "She told me that it was the key to staying fertile. You said you wanted many children. I only wish to please my husband." He smiled. "Then keep it on." He said and went back to kissing my neck. He gave me no warning when he thrust in me. I was dry and it hurt. Tears spilled down my face. I wanted it to be over. His kiss was cold and rubbery and he only grew rougher with me. Then when he had reached his climax he laid down with a smile on his face not caring if I reached my orgasm at all.

"Get me a bottle of wine will you sweetheart?" Tears fell down my face. It hurt so much. "I can't move William." He smirked proudly. "I must have been that good if my wife can't even stand up. Don't worry. I can get it. You rest." I turned over facing away from him and held the key tightly in my hand letting tears fall rapidly down my face.

I rushed to the bathroom again feeling nauseous. This worried me. It had only been five weeks since the wedding. Now living in Manhattan I hadn't been able to see Spot as much as I would have liked. Still, some of his friends were here and I still sent him letters asking him not to send any back just in case William saw them. I grew worried about the days passing by and my period not showing up. While William was at work I went to the doctor. "You had just gotten married you said?" The doctor asked me and I nodded my head. "Showing signs of pregnancy this early suggests otherwise. Are you certain you and your husband hadn't had sexual relations before?" I stayed silent not wanting to answer. "Well, you are pregnant. Congratulations. Please come visit me once every month to make sure that the baby is healthy and strong." I again nodded giving him my thanks then walked home.

I bit my lip. "Maybe William won't know. He can't suspect he will just think that the baby is his." I said to Sarah who was David's sister married to Jack, both good friends of Spots. "Maybe. But, I think you should at least tell Spot. It has been a while sense you've last seen him. I bet your dad doesn't even remember or care about the fight he and Spot had anymore now that you're married. I've been talking to him and he really misses you. Keeps the letters you write to him in a small box so they can't be damaged."

"I can't risk it."

"Why not?"

"William will find out and tell my father. I can't see him behind bars."

"Why don't we just say you're spending the night with me for a little while to talk about lady things and in the meantime you will really be with Spot."

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea, but what if he comes over and asks for me?"

"Then I will say that you went to the story to pick something up for me. That you needed the fresh air and a walk is good for the baby." I nodded my head. "Okay. Then I will let William know I'm pregnant. He won't suspect a thing." I hugged her closely. "I should be off. Tell Jack I said hi."

"I will." She said and we parted ways.

When I went back home I saw William sitting in his chair by the fire reading a book. I walked slowly up to him. "Where have you been?" He asked. He hated it when I wasn't home when he would get home from work. "Out having tea with Sarah Sullivan."

"You should really be spending your time with people of our social status darling." I nodded my head. "I just wanted an opinion of how I should tell you the news given she has a child of herself." I fake smiled again sitting down on the floor by the fire in front of him. "You're pregnant?" He smiled. I nodded my head and he grinned. "That key of yours must be working. That is wonderful."

"Yes and sense I am new at this Sarah thought it would be smart for me to stay a few nights with her at her apartment so she can tell me how I can take care of myself and the baby properly."

"Or I can get you a midwife."

"Well, I just don't feel comfortable letting some stranger take care of me. And Sarah is a certified midwife herself. Please?" He looked at me then back at his book. "Fine. But only for a couple of days." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Thank you so much."

Sarah and I packed my stuff in a suitcase then we were off. "Spot knows I'm coming?"

"He can hardly wait to see you." She replied. Again we crossed the bridge and I recognized the land that was forming out of the way. We reached the docs and we sat down by the water. Jack pulled his horse to the side. "Spot should be here in a minute. He was working today so he said he was gonna be a little late. You want us to wait with ya here?" I shook my head. "No, I will be alright." They nodded and Sarah gave me another hug then they left. I smiled down at the water and instinctively took off my shoes and stockings and dipped my feet in the water laying back and sighing peacefully. "For someone who aint all that into swimming yous sure like it." I looked up and smiled. I didn't hesitate to stand and hold him close and kiss him passionately. "I have missed you so much." Tears fell down my cheek again. Only these tears were tears of joy. "Yous got no idea how much Is been missing yous. A month is too long. Come on. I washed my bedding for yous even got a new blanket just for ya." I smiled staying close to his side and he held my waist softly.