hey bbys, sorry about the late updates but life has been kicking my ass. but im doing better now with the help of my loves harry styles and chris evans so expect more updates regularly thank u love u all x

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Your hearing went out for a few moments, and while you laid on the ground, you wondered if this is what people who survived bombs felt like. You didn't have time to think for long, though, because you felt someone begin shaking your shoulders. 

You didn't realize your eyes were closed until you opened them and saw both Mike and Bill's worried faces in front of you. Their mouths were moving, but it took a couple seconds for your hearing to come back before you could understand what they were saying. 

"Are you okay?" They kept repeating as they helped you stand up. 

You guessed you had gotten the worse of the sound, because you had been the closest, trailing behind Bill. 

You all panicked for a minute, making sure everyone was alright and accounted for, and you all came to stand together. 

"Did we do it? Did we do it?" Richie and Eddie both kept repeating in terror. You bent at the waist, catching your breath. 

"We put the tokens in the thing-" Richie was ranting as the group looked around frantically with the flashlights. "It should've worked, right?"

You all gasped with fear when suddenly, Beverly's flashlight landed on Pennywise. 

He was grinning at you all through the spikes, leaning on them and staring out at you all evilly. You felt sick to your stomach with fear. 

"Did it work, Mikey? Did it work?" He teased, moving around the black spikes. Your flashlights followed him. Bill had a death grip on your hand, again.

Pennywise let out an evil laugh. "Tell them why your silly little ritual didn't work. Tell them why it's all just a... What's the word, Eds? Gazebo."

"Mike, what the fuck is he talking about?" Eddie hissed. 

You felt horror seep into your blood at the thought of this all being for nothing. You were going to die down here for nothing.

"Oh, Mikey, you never showed them the fourth side, did you? Didn't want them to know what actually happened to the poor Shokopiwah?"

His following laugh slowly morphed into the words "Yum, yum, yum, yum." You felt yourself pale at the realization. 

He'd killed them. The ritual had killed them. The same ritual you'd just almost completed.

"Fuck, Mikey, you lied to us again?" You heard Bill yell from beside you.

Poor Mike had tears streaming down his face- from fear or guilt, you weren't sure. Perhaps a mix of both. "No, no, but- they- they didn't believe! They didn't believe they could kill It! That's why it didn't work back then!"

You felt the color drain from your face at the realization. He'd lied, and it'd almost killed you. You'd almost fucking died.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Mike?!" Richie yelled in anger. 

"We hurt him-"

"Fuck!"

"Fuck you, Mike!" You heard Bill yell, throwing him a death-like look.

"I needed something, anything, for us to remember." Mike tried to explain himself. "Anything for us to believe!"

There were various Fuck!'s and God damnit!'s from around the room. But when Pennywise laughed again, you all snapped your heads towards him. 

And suddenly, with a loud bang, the deadlights flew out of the ritual box again. You got a tiny look at them before shutting your eyes tightly. 

They were glowing blue, and they were frantically moving around each other, exploding into a cloud of white, blue and grey.

When you opened your eyes again, looking anywhere but at the killer cloud, you spotted Pennywise climbing from the place he'd been hiding. He began to speak in a suddenly deep and demonic voice.

"For 27 years, I dreamt of you. I craved you. Oh, I've missed you!"

You watched in petrified horror as he stepped out into the cave. He was no longer the normal Pennywise you remembered- he was like a spider, with lots of huge legs and claws. Only his face and costume remained the same, and he was giant. You had to crane your neck to look up at him.

"Mike, move back!" You tried to yell as Bill began dragging you back with the group, but Mike stayed rooted in place with fear.

"Oh, I've been waiting for this very moment." Pennywise growled, his voice echoing around the cave. The group began yelling out for your friend, who was murmuring something under his breath. 

"Mike, move!"

"You gotta move, Mikey!"

"Mike, come on, man!"

"Time to float." Pennywise laughed demonically as his hand suddenly morphed into a crab-like claw; sharp and ready to stab Mike where he stood. 

It all happened so fast. Bill let go of your hand, running at Mike and pushing him out of the way just in time. Right after, Pennywise began running at the group, and you all began sprinting away from the giant crab/clown.

Pennywise was knocking down bits of the cave, and you held your hands up defensively as if it would protect you from the falling debris. You could feel the ground shake underneath you with the strength of Pennywise's footsteps.

He smacked the ground right in between the group, splitting you up, and you watched as the claw hit the dirt before he quickly began trying to grab at you all. You all scurried away just in time.

And suddenly, Bill was beside you again, and he began screaming over the sound of the other's terrified yells. 

"This way!"

You didn't hesitate before sprinting after him, and you could hear Pennywise's footsteps echoing behind you. Was he really chasing you and Bill? Out of all his options, he had to make your life difficult? 

You didn't have much time to think before you were jumping into a little chamber with a small entrance after Bill. 

You didn't see the water until you felt it- and you barely had time to take a breath before you were engulfed with dirty water. 

Your nose immediately started to burn, and all you could think was "not this again."

You looked around frantically for Bill, but when you didn't see him anywhere, you began trying to swim to the surface. You kicked your legs, over and over- but when you rose above the surface, you gasped. 

You weren't in the cave anymore. You were at the beach.

You were in the sea- and you could spy the sand a few meters away. You were just about to kick over to it when you felt a wave hit you, sending you hurtling back under the surface. 

And another wave. And another wave. 

You felt yourself getting dunked under the water every time you reached the surface, so eventually, you started kicking to the beach yourself, underwater and with burning lungs.

When your could finally feel the sandy ground underneath your hands, you rose your head above the water and took gasps for air. 

You crawled away from the ocean as quick as you could, still trying to take as much breaths as you can. You laid on your back, staring up at the sky, before your senses kicked in. 

Where the fuck were you? 

When you looked around frantically, you realized you were on the familiar beach you'd always been to as a little girl. The one you'd travelled to so many times when you felt more alone then ever. 

And what was even more alarming was the two younger version of yourself, on the beach in front of you. They both looked like they had when you were twelve years old, identical. One was standing and staring at you with an evil expression, whilst the other was sitting down, knees pulled to her chest and, not seeming to notice your presence, and continued scribbling in the familiar notebook you'd only just ripped a page out of a few minutes ago. 

"Wh-Where am I?" You choked to the version of yourself that was now smiling, but not in a nice way. A way that made your stomach clench with fear. 

"Does it matter?" She asked, and you watched as she turned to motion to the other version of yourself. "That's us."

Still gasping for breath, you watched as the evil version of you scoffed at the way the other version of you was scribbling in the notebook. 

"You see us? So in love. So desperate for his love."

The evil version of you rolled her eyes, and that's when you noticed the gun she was gripping in her hands, almost innocently in front of her. You stumbled back when you realized. 

She just laughed evilly at your actions. 

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you. Can't say the same about her, though." She turned to the girl, who was now smiling at the page she used to be writing on. Your heart began beating faster as she slowly approached the girl. 

"Can't you see how pathetic we are? We're so in love with him when he doesn't even love us back."

Her words made tears build up in your eyes and you suddenly felt even more cold then you had before.

"D-don't say that. Bill l-l-loved me." You stuttered. The evil version of you just cackled. The version of you that was writing just continued writing as if the two of you weren't there- you were quick to realize that she couldn't see you.

"Are you being serious?" The evil version of you accused, amused. "You think Bill could ever love a stuck-up, miserable liar like us?"

You feel tears run down your cheeks as her words pierce through your heart- and you were quick to realize that these were the two versions of you as a child. 

The one full of hope and dreams, happiness and love- and the one filled with jealousy and hate, negativity and self-loathing. It reminded you of two different sides of a card- one white, the other red.

You watched in fright as suddenly, she held the gun to the innocent version of you's head. She didn't even realize what was going on as the evil version's finger slipped to the trigger.

"Should I shoot us in the head? Or the shoulder, then lie about it, just like we did?"

"No-"

"No wonder Bill didn't love us. All we did was lie. We were lazy. We were the opposite of what he wanted- what he needed." 

"You're wrong." Your words surprised her as she just stopped to stare at you with your wide, (e/c) eyes. You chose your next words carefully as you slowly stood up from where you'd been sitting down. 

"Bill did love me- Bill loved us. It's not our fault we-"

"Shut up." Her voice was suddenly small- a big contrast from two minutes ago.

"Listen to me. It's not our fault we moved away. It's not our fault we never saw him-"

"Shut up!" Her voice was deeper now, definitely not your voice anymore. Her hands were shaking and she could barely hold the gun. 

"It's alright to be sad. It's alright to be mad. But it's not our fault, alright? You hear me? It's not our fault!"

You were yelling at the little girl now, who was visibly shaking from anger. Time went slowly as she dropped the gun suddenly, and it rolled down the hill of the beach, and stopped about half way in between the two of you. Without hesitation, the two of you lunged for it. 

You were older, taller and stronger, so it was no surprise that you grabbed the gun from the ground first, and you held it at the version of you warningly. 

"You won't shoot me." She hissed menacingly as she stood confidently in front of you. "You couldn't shoot anyone if you wanted. You're too weak. Pathetic."

"That's where you're wrong." You whispered as you held the gun trained on her. "I'm not that scared little girl any more. You are."

You took in a breath, before letting your fingers slip to the trigger. "I'm sorry about this. I always needed to be more positive, anyway."

You didn't get to see her expression as you fired the gun, because you'd squeezed your eyes shut. When you heard a thump, you opened your eyes the sight of the dark version of yourself lying on the ground. 

You opened your eyes to see her lying on the ground with a gunshot wound right in the center of her forehead. 

Suddenly, the ground began shaking beneath you, and you dropped the gun in fright. 

The sand began parting beneath your feet, and the next thing you knew there was a hole beneath you, and you were falling away from the light.

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