TORI

I wake up on the hardwood floor. My side hurts clearly from falling off the bed, so I assume it just happened. I groggily stand up, fumbling a few times. Steve is sprawled across the bed on his stomach, mainly on my side, clutching onto my pillow. His eyes are squinted shut, he's shaking profusely, and whispering "no" in his sleep — he's having another nightmare.

I fully stand up, wobbling on my legs that have not yet woken up. I can still barely seen anything, but dawn is in the process of breaking. It's only six in the morning. I lean over the side of the bed, carefully touching Steve's tense arm. Definitely a nightmare.

He continues to hold tightly onto my pillow, veins bulging from his arms. I frown. I hate seeing him like this. He's so scared and frightened, and it's all because of his own mind.

"Steve," I whisper, gently shaking him.

He inhales a shaky breath, like he's trying to wake up. His lips begin to form words, then form coherent sentences. "Tori.....please no," he whispers. "Victoria!" He begins to shout in his sleep now, sweat streaming down from his forehead. My heartbeat quickens at him screaming my name.

I hesitantly sit on the edge of the bed, brushing his tousled hair out of his face. He seems to calm down a little bit, relaxing a bit to my touch. Then, out of the blue, he harshly seizes my wrist, causing me to gasp; however, he gently pulls me towards him, holding me close. The nightmare seems to be over.

After a few minutes, we are still like this. I can't wriggle out from his grasp even if I tried, so I decide to just stay here so he can't have another nightmare. By this point dawn has officially broken and the day has begun. I can't seem to go back to sleep, meaning that I have to just lay until Steve eventually wakes up. Thankfully, that is a lot sooner than later. However, it's not for a good reason.

I hear our front door creak open. If it hadn't been dead silent, I would have never heard it. My heart rate quickens and my breathing becomes shallower. Steve jolts awake at the sudden noise, worriedly making eye contact with me. I shake my head, unsure of who it could possibly be. There are only three people besides us, tops, that might have a key. Might.

Steve slowly and quietly creeps out of bed, reaching underneath the bed frame for his spare shield that I had made for him. It's not the vibranium one that I threw to Tony, but it's better than nothing or something out of his comfort zone. I have my hand out in front of me, ready to ice someone's feet to the floor. Steve keeps his right arm in front of me, forcing me behind him as we slowly step out of our bedroom. He peers around the corner, trying to see who the intruder is. I see his face fall, and he lowers his shield.

"Why so defensive, Steve?" a familiar female voice rings through the apartment. "I'm only here to visit."

"How are you in our house?" Steve asks, his voice deeper than usual.

"Tony gave me a key, so I didn't necessarily break in," Natasha says, leaning against the wall. "I also believe that you owe me a thank you, Rogers."

"Thank you," he whispers. "Is that all?"

"No, I just wanted to visit, like I said," Nat chimes, taking a few more steps towards us. "And thanks for telling me that you were both alive, by the way."

"And thanks for entering our home at...." I glance at the clock on the wall. "Six thirty in the morning."

"My pleasure." She hops onto one of the barstools, twirling around to face us. "The last time that I was here was six months ago. You invited over for dinner when he was on a quick mission. It's been quite a while."

I scoff. "Maybe because of everything that's been going on."

"Yeah, like Steve being in a coma for a month."

"Look, I'm sorry," I apologize. "I couldn't contact Tony let alone anyone else."

"You know, you really hurt the poor guy, I hope you realize that."

I take in a deep breath. I'm tempted to bite my tongue and keep my thoughts to myself, but I can't just keep my feelings cooped up forever. Besides, I'm in the same room with the two people that can see right through me no matter what I lie about or what I don't say. "I know I did. I don't regret it though."

"You shouldn't," Natasha coos, stepping off the barstool. "I knew about the lie before you did, and I have for years. And please don't kill me for telling you that. Anyways, I can't even imagine the things that you've gone through. I've had to go through some really low things myself, but none it even compares to you."

She glances down at my hands. I don't realize until now that I've been picking at the skin so badly that it's started to bleed.

"I-I'm gonna clean this up," I mumble, stepping into the kitchen. I sigh, squinting my eyes shut as I let the water clean the blood off my hand. Nat and Steve whisper in the living room, glancing at me every so often. They're obviously talking about me, most likely how I've just absentmindedly hurt myself by doing the same thing that I scowled Tony for doing less than twenty-four hours ago.

I take a towel and press it on the fresh wound, hopefully slowing down the blood flow. I slowly step into the living room, trying to listen closer to them.

"She needs help, Steve," I hear Natasha whisper.

"I know," Steve mutters. "We both do."

"Well obviously."

"You have no idea what we've gone through. You're scared of your own mind, I know that,  but you weren't trapped there for an entire month. And I'm not just talking about me."

Natasha purses her lips, crossing her arms. Her head whips over to me, and Steve follows her lead. I throw my hands by my sides, not worrying about the blood still oozing from my palm. Clenching my jaw, I glance back and forth from the two.

"I know," I growl. "I do need help. Everyone needs help. This insanity has just come to a boiling point. No more Avengers, no more freedom to walk the streets, all of it has been taken from us. We're all bound to have our moments, and some can be hidden away unlike others." I glance at Steve, trying to keep my mouth shut about the nightmares.

This really silences them. Natasha looks down the floor with a thousand-yard stare. Steve just stares at me, his mouth gaping open. His blue orbs are sad, causing me to instantly glance away. I can't feel anything relating to pity or sorrow.

Natasha, without warning, rushes up to me and throws her arms around me. I return the hug, trying to keep myself cool and collected. I peer at Steve through Nat's red hair. He smiles, nodding at me.

"I came here to see if you guys were okay," Natasha whispers, her voice quavering.

Yep, didn't need my heart anyways.

I let a tear fall down my cheek, but nothing more. "Thank you, Nat. Thank you."

•••

After he takes a quick shower and we both get dressed, Steve and I have a quick breakfast with Nat. Steve informs her of everything that she hasn't heard about yet, like how Bucky's back under the ice and how T'Challa is an ally. We laugh, we almost cry, we almost hurl ourselves out windows from disappointment. It's most definitely interesting. Steve and I crack a few smiles at Nat's stories which is a good thing.

"So, Tori," Natasha begins, swallowing her bacon. "Your birthday's coming up."

I drop my fork on to my plate, causing a clatter to fill the apartment. Steve jumps, almost choking on his bite of eggs.

"Don't remind me," I snarl, pressing down the bandage on my hand.

"Aw, come on," Natasha smirks. "Steve and I have gone through it. It's not that bad."

"Steve has been thirty for five months, Nat," I state. "It hasn't exactly been a while."

They both laugh.

"Well, not technically," she points out.

"It's been five months."

"You're not going to die, Tori," Steve says, taking a swig of his water.

"One year closer to it though," I retort, shoving another forkful of food into my mouth. It's so hard to argue when those two are on the same side.

Natasha excitedly clasps her hands together, a smirk spreading across her lips.

"Please no," I whisper.

"Please yes," Steve chimes, perking up in his seat.

"Festivities are in order," she says in a mischievous tone.

"What's the point of a birthday party or a celebration anyway?" I inquire. "What is so appealing about getting older on a day no different from the rest?"

"It's a milestone, Victoria," Steve insists.

"Says the walking World War II relic," I shoot back.

"I'm actually with Tori on this one, Cap. You're a dinosaur," Nat shrugs, leaning back in her chair.

"Actually a fossil," I correct. "You should have celebrated your thirtieth in '48."

"So vanilla cake, Nat?" Steve mumbles, hastily attempting to change the topic.

"Well, we should go off of appearance," Nat suggests.

"Yeah, should," I josh.

Steve just rolls his eyes, continuing to eat the last of his breakfast. I giggle, shaking my head at his petulant reaction.

"But really, Tori. Your birthday is in less than two weeks. What do you want to do?" Natasha seriously asks me.

"Honestly, nothing. It's too risky to go out and do anything, so might as well lay low and keep to ourselves," I say, setting my fork on my plate and leaning back in my chair.

Steve glances down at his empty plate, crossing his arms in deep thought. "Maybe just a small get-together. You know, just a few drinks, food. Nothing special, just how you like it." He gives me a quick smile, making my guilt worsen.

"I-It doesn't matter to me," I mumble. "You guys just surprise me."

"I have no problem with that," Natasha states with a smirk. "I'll get to planning."

I instantly regret my decision.