Splutter splutter vroom

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Phil was already gabbling into his phone, probably saying how a crazy psycho maniac lunatic had just nearly killed him and destroyed his only means of transportation and that he needed a space ship to whip him away, stat!

"Persephone are you alright? How's your arm? Can you wiggle your fingers?" Phil knelt down beside me and tried to look at my arm

"It's already swelling; we need to get you to a hospital."

"No thankyou." I said, still giggling, and then I suddenly sat up, scaring Phil, "Where's Carnivore?" a dull ache danced up and down my arm, in time to the disco beat of my pulse.

"He's fine Persephone; I think he's hiding in the lavender bush."

"Is he tunnelling out? That was my idea. He stole it."

"Persephone I'm just going to see if my car still works, and then I'll see about getting you to a hospital, ok?"

Thinking about Phil's crunched up, mirrorless car sent me into a new wave of hysterical chuckling and spluttering and rolling around on the grass, I craned my neck to get a glimpse of the car hoping there was smoke streaming out of it or maybe even a fire, but there wasn't. So I just lay on my back on the grass in the sun, with Phil's squashed, lollopy daisy chain in my face, being attacked by waves of giggles. I was startled by the pathetic whir whir whir coughing fit that was Phil's car's engine sputtering into life and absolutely screamed with laughter, my face ached, my stomach ached, my arm ached. Next thing I knew Phil had scooped me off the ground like a ragdoll and laid me on the backseat of his car.

"Carnivore! Are you coming? Phil, get Carnivore! Carnivore wants to come!"

"Persephone, Carnivore can't go into a hospital, he's a cat."

"I know he's a cat, you can't leave him here, he'll tunnel all the way to China!" I snorted with laughter imagining Carnivore popping out of the ground in China. They'd probably try to eat him, unless he ate them first.

"I'll find him, and I'll put him inside the house, how's that sound?" Phil seemed to be in a hurry.

"Hmmm... OK..."

Phil scrabbled around under the lavender bush for a bit, then whipped his hand out with a yell. Carnivore must have scratched him, I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard, I was sure that every single person in the whole world could hear me laughing.

"Bloody cat!"

"No, I think it's the other way round, you're the one who's bleeding, Carnivore will like that." I said, peering at him over my shaking, tired stomach, over my feet and through the car door. I was right too, because Carnivore lurked out of the bush without a problem after that, licking Phil's scratched hand. I giggled.

Phil tossed Carnivore into the house, closed the door and then flipped and flopped out the front for a bit.

"Persephone do you have a key? If I lock this door will you be able to get back in?"

"My bag has a key."

"Where's your bag honey?"

"The floor. Near the couch. Near the TV with the stylish pillowcase outfit."

Thinking about the TV in its pillowcase and bike chain made me laugh. Phil ran into the house, and then immediately emerged with the bag, threw it into the front seat of his car, jumped into the driver's seat and started the engine.

Splutter splutter splutter.

Giggle giggle giggle.

Splutter splutter vroom!

I lay back and watched the upside down sideways world from the window. Sky, trees, power lines. It was very pleasant.

Then we were at the hospital and Phil carried me into the emergency room. We sat for ages and ages with lots of other people. There was a little boy crying, holding onto his stomach, with his Mum rubbing his back, I laughed, there was a man in a leather vest, clutching some red rags to his arm, good thing Carnivore didn't come, he would've eaten the bloody rags, I laughed, there was an old lady in her nighty with a plastic mask on her mouth and nose and her old husband next to her, I laughed, there was a skinny girl slumped on her chair sleeping, or maybe passed out, or maybe dead, I laughed a lot, and there was Phil, and there was me, laughing. I wriggled around on the uncomfortable plastic chair for a while. Then The Simpsons started on the TV up in the corner so I stopped wriggling and watched it even though there was no sound. It didn't matter; I've seen every episode about a million times.

A woman came up to us and asked what my name was

"Persephone James" said Phil

"And what's happened to you Persephone?"

"My Dad hit me with his car." I said, suppressing giggles

The lady looked at Phil

"Oh, no I'm not her Dad, I'm-"

"He's Phil." I said

"We're going to have to give your Mum or Dad a call Persephone, do you know their phone numbers?"

I cackled

"Only if there's a phone in heaven, or crazy land"

The lady bustled off saying that a doctor would see me soon.

The doctor poked and prodded my arm, which made me annoyed. I didn't see why he couldn't just believe me when I said that my arm hurted, there was no need to go around poking it.

"We're going to have to x-ray your arm to see if you've chipped a bone in your elbow, if you haven't then you just need to ice it and it will be fine, if you have then we might need to remove the chip."

They x-rayed my arm, and there was a big chip of bone floating around on its own like the doctor had said. I rolled my eyes and said 'humph' a lot, I seemed to have laughed myself to exhaustion. I just wanted to go to sleep; I didn't care about my arm anymore. I felt grumpy.

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