When I got home from Country Day I poured through the files. I looked through everything Xander had collected. There were many messages from guys asking to date her. She rejected all of them.
You are smart. You know the world and how it hurts young people like you. Your mother taught you that. She told you that after your father left you. You know you shouldn't go to the party but there is a guy who you want to see.
Amerie was being catfished. There is one man on the chat. Daniel brown. He had many mutuals with Amerie but he definitely wasn't a 17-year-old.
After doing more research I cannot find anything about a Daniel brown. It's like he never existed. I need a break. I need something to take my mind off this. What better distraction than Hawthorne drama.
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I watch as Avery exits the library. I follow far behind making sure that Oren doesn't see me. I watch as she finds herself in the theatre. I stay in the shadows not following her in. I listen at the door. Avery is in there with Grayson.
"My mother hasn't left her room in days." Grayson stared at and into me. "Xander nearly blew himself up today. Jameson is one bad idea away from ruining his life, Annabelle has gone back to being dark, twisty and secretive again-"
I'm being dark, twisty and secretive. I mean I'm pretty sure I always am. It's the way I handle things. I mask my feelings and cover my words in mild deception. I am good at finding and telling lies. I am good at pretending things don't affect me. I am good at keeping people from the root of all my problems. People Like Grayson cannot understand why I do it. He gets the pretending to be okay but not the way I think. How finding information on others helps me deceive and lie to them.
Their conversation continues with Grayson making Avery feel like she is inferior and has no chance of getting the money. I hear his last words before Avery leaves.
"You won't last a month in this house." Grayson says. He means It. I think. "In fact, I'd lay money that you're gone within the week."
After Avery left the theatre I caught up with her. For some reason I was interested. I wanted to know what she was thinking.
"How are you liking your mansion Ms. Avery," I stare at her. Not matter how hard she will try to ignore Grays words they got to her. She stays quiet trying to pretend I'm not there. "Unfortunately empty threats are not enough to get someone kicked out of this house. If It was, I think you would be down to basically just you in this house."
"It would be helpful if I knew why he gave it all to me." She said it as a thought, but it made Avery sad to think about. Tobias left barely any of his will to his family, but most to outsiders. To Avery.
"If it helps I have no idea why I got anything either. The old man was filled with mysteries and loved to challenge his grandsons. This is all probably just another puzzle for them to solve."
She pondered my reply before asking, "Mr Hawthorne left you a library, didn't he?"
I knew where this was going. She thought the book that her and Jameson needed was there at the Resits Library. I hadn't gone to the building since he died and I don't think I will for a while. None of the brothers knew it existed and I don't think they could handle knowing about it right now.
"I already went there. It's not a library, it's just storage. There aren't any books. It's a mess. I don't even know why he gave it to me." Avery looked as if she was deep in thought for a second. She was curious if I was telling the truth or not. I don't know if I was lying. There weren't any books there, it was full of something else.
"Do you know what we should be looking for?"
"All I know is that you're trying to find a book." And with that I turned around and left. Avery didn't know me and she was certainly not getting access to the library. I turned into the theatre to have a little chat with a blonde boy.
"Did you know One-third of adults still sleep with a comfort object?" I say to Grayson as I walk towards him.
"Why is that relevant?" He was annoyed. Really annoyed.
"Considering that three Hawthorne brothers are the age 18 and above. One of you sleeps with a snuggly object. My bet is on Nash with his cowboy hat." I stared up at him. I had many tactics when talking to Grayson. I always distract him with a random fact so I could steer the conversation where I needed it to go.
Grayson grimaces, "Sleeping with a cowboy hat doesn't make any sense."
"Don't ask me if he's your brother."
"You're the one saying he sleeps with a cowboy hat." I've done it. time to redirect.
"You're the one who thinks Avery is actually trying to ruin everyone in this house!"
It's dead quiet. Grayson knows that I can read any expression on his face. His head tilts to the side the smallest bit.
"I heard your conversation with her Gray," I knew it was probably best to stop but I couldn't, "you can't blame her. She never lied. She really had no idea. It's not her fault that everyone in this house has some major problems."
Grayson was speechless. Also surprised. This was the first time I have ever stood up for anyone to him. I don't tend to like most people so I can see how surprising it is.
"I know." those are the only words he can mutter out of his mouth. But he didn't know. Well he did know she wasn't a criminal. He didn't understand how she didn't deserve that. Grayson needs someone to blame for everything that has happened. I am honestly surprised he didn't use me.
"It's okay to be mad. But not at Avery she didn't do anything."
"How did I not notice?" I have no idea where that came from. Was it about the will? Avery getting the money? Or something else? How did I not know what he didn't notice?
"Notice what?" I was careful with my question. I don't think I wanted to know the answer.
"How much you have changed," I don't want him to continue but he does, "I don't know when it happened but you're different. You're defending someone you don't know, when you won't even defend yourself sometimes. You brought up your family and for the first time ever I think I found something out about before you knew us-"
I turned around and left. I didn't look back, I just left. Grayson caught up to me and tried to continue.
"Annabelle."
"I'm tired, good bye." I turned around again. I knew he was watching me but I didn't care. I wouldn't care. I couldn't. In no universe could anyone understand me. Understand why I do the things I do. Grayson may think on some level we are similar but we are not. There are so many things about me that no one could ever understand. That no one would ever.
As soon as I closed my bedroom door behind me I collapsed. I brought my knees to my chest and sucked in a breath to control the lump in my throat. I hate the word "changed" or "different". My whole life I have been different. I can do extraordinary things because I needed to survive. If I had not learnt I would have ended up exactly like my sister. I still imagine her lying on the floor of the kitchen. No one knows that part of me. They know about my mother and how she won't even look me in the eye. About my brother who is struggling but I can't help him. Nothing about before. Before I turned 9. The reason for who I am.
I would like to think that Nash knows. On some level I think he does. Gray thinks he knows. He thinks it was just abuse and that's why it was worse when I lived with my mother. The only person who really knew is six feet underground and still haunting this house. I can still hear his questions he asked me about people. Tobias helped train me; he made sure I would always know how to get into people's heads. I love it. It makes me feel as though I am helping others. By doing it for Tobias, I was repaying him for letting me stay.
I hate needing others' help because I don't think I deserve it.
I never will deserve it.
Yet I am always in need of help.
I shut my eyes and slowly drift off into a sleep-like state. I hear the screams and the laughs of my childhood. When I was a child I wanted to be normal. I wanted to just have fun and be a kid. though I was never normal and never was going to be. I could have forgotten like any child who went through something so traumatic. I never wanted to heal or be better. I wanted revenge and I wanted the proof that I got it. But some flames are just too thick to see through.
I'm overthinking it.
Always overthinking it.
A/n
I don't love it but like it's fine I guess. A little more of her insane backstory is revealed. But I feel like I need to have more creative ways to end a conversation. Annabelle Just walks away if anything uncomfortable comes up. I feel like I can do better but I feel like Anna just walks away to get better control.
Anywayyy.
Hope you liked it.
Thank you soo so much for reading.
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