chapter twenty-one ; the past or the present

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Natalie felt the push back from the pressure and leaned into Barry, tightening her hold around his neck. She felt the wind pushing against her, the howling as they rushed past, unable to open her eyes due to fear, felt her hair whipping around. Natalie found herself automatically holding her breath and eventually pulled in a breath of air as she faced Barry's chest. She focused on his heartbeat, pressing her ear closer to his chest, hearing it drum abnormally fast as he sped on.

Shortly, the pressure stopped and Barry set her down. Natalie opened her eyes and fixed her hair as she saw Barry turning in circles looking around at the intersection he stopped in. Natalie did the same, noticing two people holding back their barking dogs, a man spinning a sign in a circle, a frustrated woman failing to hail a taxi. Barry was breathing heavily, looking around like he couldn't believe where they were.

"Barry? Barry, what's wrong?" Natalie asked, getting a bit scared at the way he was acting. "Barry! The morgue."

Barry snapped out of his trance and walked towards her, placing both hands on her shoulders. "I'm gonna leave you here and you need to hail a cab to the morgue. That way you won't be in any danger when I face whoever is breaking in there. Okay?"

Natalie nodded and gave him a soft kiss, trying to calm him down a bit from whatever was scaring him, "Remember, do good. Stay safe."

Barry nodded and pecked her lips once more before speeding off and leaving Natalie in the intersection. Natalie ran over to the same side of the street the woman was yelling from and had more success hailing a cab. Once the cab came to a stop, Natalie yelled out at the lady and waved her arm, motioning for her to come over, "Hey! You need it more than I do. I'll get the next one."

"Thank you. Thank you so much," the woman praised as she ran over and slid in the cab, pulling the door shut behind her. Natalie didn't wait to see the cab pull away and had a bit more trouble getting another one.

The driver hesitated to pull over when he arrived at the scene. A few cop cars were pulled up to the morgue, caution tape blocking the way in, and a crowd of people surrounding the area. "Ma'am, I'm not sure you should be here-"

"I work at the CCPD," Natalie interrupted, quickly paid the driver, and jumped out of the cab. "Joe. Joe! A little help here?" Nat called as she ran up to the tape.

Joe chuckled as he saw one of the cops on crowd control eyeing her, "She's okay." He chuckled even more when she was by his side, "We've really got to get you a badge soon. So Barry said you know.."

"About his special talent? Yeah I know. It's..strange, coping with all of it," Nat muttered as they walked up to the entrance of the morgue.

Joe stopped her before they went in, "I just want to warn you, there's a dead body in there-"

"Yeah I know. It's a morgue," Nat stated as she looked at Joe.

Joe sighed and spoke again, "That's not what I meant. The coroner, he was murdered."

Natalie felt a pang in her chest and suddenly looked around, "Where's Barry? Is he okay?"

"He's fine. Let's just go in and remember, it's just a shell," Joe said as he gave her shoulder a squeeze and took tentative steps inside so that he made sure Natalie was alright.

Natalie took deep breaths and muttered, "It's just a shell," trying to numb down her emotions a bit.

Joe carried his coffee in his free hand and stopped to take in the scene. Natalie still hadn't seen Barry but was looking at the protrusion of a body on a table, covered by a thin blue sheet and another body uncovered on the floor.

"Mayor's made this top priority," Captain Singh informed as he continued walking. Natalie flinched as she heard two people run into each other and something spill. Seeing Joe's frustrated look, Natalie couldn't help but giggle when she saw the captain's coffee and foam covering Barry and himself. Barry looked down in shock as Captain Singh glared at Barry and tried to wipe the foam off of himself, "Allen. Aw, my fiancé just bought me this!"

Barry looked at his foam covered hands and then at Captain Singh's coat, "Captain, I am so sorry-"

"Just help Joe find out who did this!" Captain ordered and stalked off.

Barry turned and glared at Natalie as she laughed, "Aww I'm sorry, Bare. But since when does Captain Singh have a fiancé? I thought he hated love?"

"Young love. He's not young," Barry countered as Natalie tried wiping the remaining foam off of Barry's sweater.

Joe ignored what just happened and went straight to business, "What's with all the water? Did the sprinkler system go off?"

Barry shook his head and knelt down next to the body, lifting up his shirt and surgical gown, "No, I checked, they're all intact. But I found ice on the ground and the coroner has multiple impact bruises on his torso. All the size of a tennis ball."

Natalie stared blankly at the coroner, "So what..there was a hail storm in here? Don't tell me Elsa is real."

Barry didn't say anything but just stared between Joe and Natalie. Joe shook his head and pointed to the ground in disbelief, "Hail. In here." Barry nodded his head and looked at the body. Joe looked around before he lowered his voice, "You think this was Snart?"

"No, his Cold Gun couldn't have done this," Barry replied.

"Wait, who? And a..cold gun?" Natalie asked looking between the two.

Before Natalie could have her question answered, Eddie came in and played them a piece the morgue's audio system picked up, moments before the coroner was killed. Joe looked worried when he heard the voice and claimed it was Mark Mardon, a name Natalie didn't recognize, but she could tell Barry did. Eddie, Natalie, and Barry all looked at Joe when the man on the tape said he wanted to make Joe pay for shooting his brother Clyde. Natalie stared at Barry and Joe and then back at the body, and given the hail, she assumed this wasn't going to be an ordinary crime.

Natalie helped Barry collect any evidence that he needed and set them in his lab kit before he sped it over to his lab, returning to Natalie and Joe as they waited outside.

"Joe-" Barry started as soon as he came to a stop.

"Barry, I'll be fine. Just take your pretty girlfriend home," Joe said blankly before he walked into his squad car and drove off.

Natalie rubbed Barry's arm as she saw the worried look on his face, "You're gonna catch this.. Mark Mardon guy. Joe's gonna be okay." Barry nodded his head before he turned to her, a solemn expression on his face. "C'mon, Barry. Do what he says and take your pretty girlfriend home."

Barry laughed and picked her up, racing until they were a few blocks from her house. Natalie stumbled a bit once she was set down, trying to get her bearings, "I don't know if I'll get used to that. It feels weird. And this isn't where I live."

Shrugging his shoulders, Barry kept walking, "I just wanna walk with you. Spend some time alone that we never got tonight." Natalie smiled to herself as she walked beside him, but tensed a bit when she remembered Iris.

Natalie tilted her head side to side before she spoke, "Barry.. I don't know how to say this without sounding rude, but Iris tonight-"

"I know. I don't-" Barry put his head in his hands before he spoke again, "Look, there's something you should know."

Natalie took in a deep breath before she spoke, her voice quiet and small, "I remember the look in your eyes when I first met you. The way you looked at her. You loved her. Is that-"

Barry sped in front of her and held her shoulders. "I don't. I do not love Iris," he said, his voice low.

Barry released his hold and started walking again, "After losing my mom, Iris was the only girl in my life. She knew everything about me and I didn't have to be afraid of losing someone again, of getting my heartbroken. Last Christmas.. I told her I loved her."

Natalie stared forward, unsure of what to think or feel or say. Barry took a deep breath, speeding through the thoughts in his mind and trying to find a way to reassure her he had no feelings for Iris. He didn't want to tell her he realized he didn't love Iris after he had met her, or at least not yet.

"After I told her that, she was angry and said that she loved Eddie. It was..difficult. Things had changed between us, but we made up and things stayed platonic. It wasn't so much as love as it was being in love with the idea of love," Barry said, digging his hands deep in his pockets. He grew even more worried as Natalie's silence buzzed in his thoughts.

"I just, I'm telling you this now because the way she-we..everything that happened tonight- I want to make sure you trust me and that there aren't anymore secrets between us. I won't let my past get in the way of the present," Barry explained.

Natalie focused on the ground before she turned her head towards Barry and treaded her words carefully, "I trust you, Barry. I- After the way Iris was acting, and after what you just said..I don't trust her as much as I did. Have you ever told her that you don't have those feelings for her anymore?"

Barry racked his brain, thinking over the past few months, and shook his head. "Not directly no, but I told her how much I liked you and I didn't want to mess this up between us. God, I don't understand. Why now?" he asked out loud, running his hands through his hair and pulling at it. "I will always love Iris, but as a sister. In the same way I love Joe."

Natalie nodded her head, fully understanding that and led the way up to the porch to unlock the door. "Wanna come inside this time? Just for a little bit and then I'll let you get back to Joe?"

Barry nodded his head and followed her inside. The two sat together on the couch side by side, just enjoying the other's presence given their previous conversation. Barry played with their hands a bit, tracing the lines on her fingertips, "I only have feelings for you. I really really like you, Natalie. And I don't want to lose this."

Natalie stared at their joined hands, "You won't."

Barry's jaw tensed and he stood up, grabbing his coat, "I can't stay any longer-"

"I know. You have to protect Joe. We're gonna catch that guy," Natalie said as she walked Barry to the door.

Barry didn't say anything, just looked into Natalie's eyes as if he could try and see what would happen. Eventually Barry just nodded and gave her a gentle kiss before speeding off home.

As Natalie climbed into bed, she saw a text from her brother, informing his safe trip back home, and a few missed calls from Caitlin.

Calling her back, the two talked until they both fell asleep. Natalie informed Caitlin about her bowling date and worries about Iris while Caitlin informed her about who Mark Mardon was. She also explained more on how he had gotten his powers to control the weather, the same way his brother Clyde did.

Her phone laying on the sheets, Natalie told Caitlin all of her worries, everything that she has had pent up since she found out about Barry, every feeling she has experienced in her relationship. That was the first night in a longtime that she has gotten any peaceful nights sleep.

No worrying about the past or the future.

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6 July, 2015

This chapter sucks and it's a filler but a lot of things will happen next chapter!!

I just want to share that I got a 4 on my AP Euro test and I am so happy and proud of myself. I never thought that was going to happen. So I reward you with a chapter, though bad, a chapter.

Iris is causing some trouble Oooooo. But what will happen next chapter??

Xx