When we got home, I opened my phone and I already knew what excuse I was going to say.

As Ashley to Mix, I lied: I didn't see you.

To Avi, I said: we left early.

But she might have spotted me because she replied, "Were you wearing a red shirt?"

"No," I lied again.

In a way, maybe I was cheating with her. A two-timer perhaps, but true was my feelings for her, I believe, and what's between Mix and Ashley should be the least of my problems. 

At the end of the semester break, November 5, Francine celebrated her fifteenth birthday at the plaza. Avi, who's best friends with Francine, invited me to come.

Pizza, cake, and soft drinks were served on the big table at a gazebo. After Francine took pictures, holding her cake and gifts, she set us up, Avi and I, to take a picture too.

"To the newlywed," Francine teased as she gave a toast to Avi and me.

It's inevitable that the two of us would not be beleaguered to the point that even I get annoyed. When I shouldn't be. One of the reasons why they teased the two of us so much was because they thought we'd eventually fall for each other. I knew I wasn't prepared for those embarrassing situations but I should be happy. Really happy. So why was it so hard for me to be? I asked myself.

Francine blew her candles and we sat to chow down on the food. Yes, I was happy, or was I just pretending to be. At that age, it's really hard to find out. It also felt unfamiliar to be eating together at a big table. 

In our house, we had a very small dining table. It's propped against a wall so it has only the capacity for four people. We gave up eating together as a family for as long as I could remember and we gave up television long ago. So when I was eating alone, which I always did back then, I would watch a Youtube video to pretend I was eating with someone.

Maybe even pretending to be happy for so long made me unable to be truly happy.

Technology proved to be our friend again when Blinkey gave good news. Turned out, that the girl behind Ashley's face was a model from Indonesia named Audrey Sawasavich and she has tons of pictures on Instagram.

Jackpot! I yelled.

We posted her casual pictures on the poser account and it already seemed pretty realistic. I also sent pictures of her to Mix to keep him interested and make him believe she's real.

"I cannot tell which is more radiant," Mix chatted, "you or the moon." His pick-up lines were getting better.

"I could spend the whole night staring at both, but I would want to hold you."

I almost belched but it was a good one, "Why not hold the moon," I replied.

"Aside from it being physically impossible, sometimes, all we can do is to stare at the things we want but can't ever have."

"And is that enough for you?"

"To stare?" I added.

"It's more than enough for me."

At one point, I didn't mind staying like this, to be a different person. But to give him a hint I called him "Master."

If I did it on purpose or accidentally, it didn't matter. I hoped, Did it remind him of me? The real me, which by the second I was slowly forgetting. Or did it make him confused too?

I also said, "Good night, Master," but I got the feeling that he tried to dodge the bullet when he only replied, "Good night."

If only I knew that sooner or later it would cost me everything. A bad omen I should have avoided.

If only I knew that this was the beginning of the end.