A week later, the leadership program was held in a nearby town, Santa Louring. Julia and I were the representatives of our student government. Once we lugged our things and checked our room, the coordinators had us practice until midnight because tomorrow was already the event. Many people mostly my age roamed around the place. My family and neighbors even came to watch on the night of the pageant.

In front of me was a wild jungle during the pageant and even the faintest cough from the crowd was booming loud. The lights were bright and all directed upon me, especially at the Q&A portion.

There were two hosts on the stage, one holding a card gave me the question, "What is the one thing in your life that you will never do again?"

I smiled because I instantly thought of Mix. I greeted the judges and the audience just like they taught me and also to buy time to think of an answer. Then I cleared my throat, "If there's one thing that I will never do again," I said, "is to break someone's trust."

He was the only thing in my mind right at that moment and that night at the Ferris wheel, all our moments together, and our last goodbye.

"Trust is a fragile thing, I continued, and breaking it would be undoable, just like a sticker." The audience silenced, some laughed. I put up a deep and masculine voice but hidden in that tone was hoping that someone in the audience would know I was grieving.

"To break someone's trust is just like a sticker. Once you remove it from a wall or anywhere you stick it to and you put it back, it will not be stronger than it was before. Thank you."

All at once, the crowd cheered. That earned me a spot of 1st Runner Up and the whole school got news of it. I wasn't sure if it was a miracle or most likely a misfortune that the representative of our team for the Intramurals got injured.

It's like I'd just been informed that I'll be on television. "This is different," I said to Blinkey on the phone, "the whole school would be watching."

Marcus and Jerome joined as representatives for their teams too.

"But you have the upper hand, you already have experience."

"I hope so."

"I know you can do it," she replied, "Good luck!"

I had done it the first time, I mused, a second time wouldn't hurt.

But it was still overwhelming like I was a newborn baby who's already on a bike instead of learning how to walk first. Worse I'm a baby on a bike on a tightrope juggling fiery balls.

A sultry air with a chance of rain imbued the sky on the day of the pageant. The ginormous tent was erected on the quadrangle, there were also booths, and classes were put to a halt again. 

On the stage, Marcus asked me if there were blemishes on his face, "A bit" I said while the excessive foundation already stained his shirt. Francine was cheering for Jerome who looked like he wanted to cover his face. Avi was beside Francine, I hoped she cheered for me.

When I catwalked, I held my chin high, and my smile wide the world consists of only me and the crowd. It made me lightheaded — nauseating even. At the casual wear, I lowered my glasses and winked at the audience. For the formal attire, I posed by looking at my watch and putting my hands inside my pockets. 

I did Medieval King for the costume. With my crown and heavy armor, I just waved my sword and bow. Suddenly, I was among the audience, and looking at the stage, I saw myself. I was almost unrecognizable. A tall, handsome boy, with wavy hair in shining armor. The light of his smile looked like it would never be put out. That wasn't me, I thought, but I was so proud of him.

The last attire was the Sportswear, where I held a tennis racket and wore a visor cap and old clothes of my grandfather. We proceeded to the next portion without changing. The most anticipated question and answer that I didn't get too nervous about.

Avi never left my periphery as Mr. Jones, one of the judges, stated my question.

"How would you see yourself ten years from now?"

The key was to make yourself in favor of the audience. But I looked at Avi and answered, "A stable job, married with three kids, and most importantly famous."

No applause.

"Famous enough so I could help others," I added. Then the crowd clapped their hands as the rain started to fall. That was easier than I expected, I thought when I won the title. 

After that, my popularity skyrocketed, almost everyone in school knew my name! I felt like a celebrity, at any time someone would ask to take a picture with me and at least ten people would greet me at the gate or say goodbye to me before going home.

Marcus's group disbanded and I could say I reigned at the campus. If only Mix could see me, I thought. Isn't this what I wanted? For what, an act of revenge? What for? But then, it's not as rewarding when I bragged to people that I won, that I got the upper hand over those who betrayed me.

So what?

So what?

At the end of the day, Mix still transferred to another school and behind closed doors, I made my name fragrant to Dorothy or Romeo who were my only contact with him. I wished they might slip my name when they were talking to Mix. But it was evident from their expression, the lingering regret I also had was there.

He carved something in my soul so that I couldn't disobey orders. A slave finding his master or another prisoner of his past. Did he think he could cast a spell on me? 

For some time, I'd consider that I might be glorifying him too much. To fill up for my shortcomings, I won't let things remain unresolved from now on. And I should move on, I should.