Damn it. Why can't I stop replaying our last conversation. I can't stop thinking about it as I lay in bed. Lately all I can do is think of him. How his expressions surprise me. The look on his pale face is kept in memory. Hans had looked like an abandoned child who just wanted to be loved. No, more like he NEEDED to be loved. The shine over his red rimmed eyes, and his trembling lip. What happened to the asshole who tried to kill my friends?
I can't take it anymore. I stumble out of my bed. I won't go back to normal until I know. Walking as quietly as a big guy like me can, I find my way to the servants' quarters. I open the door to Hans' room.
Instead, I find a maid brushing a lipstick covered Sven. They both look at me as though I'm an alien. I slowly close the door and question the sanity of my reindeer and that strange maid. Shaking that awkward scene from my simple mind, I walk to the door next to the last one. I give a silent prayer that this door is the right one, and I open the door. It creaks as I slowly push and find a shaking Hans hiding himself under sheets and a quilt.
"Um, excuse me?" I say trying to stifle a laugh at the grown man under sheets for protection.
"You frightened the shit out of me," Hans says in a low whisper as he pokes his small head out from the covers.
His orange hair is tousled and his eyes are wide with anxiety. He looks adorable with bed head! Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Never mind.
I softly close the door as I walk into Hans' room. I sit on a wooden stool a little bit away from his bed. Its a rather simple room; classic wooden floor, white walls with crakes her an there, a night stand with a pitcher of cleaning water, a small bed, a stool and a small, dusty mirror. Hans and I sit not looking at each other for an awkward minute or two.

Finally, Hans speaks in a calm, hollow voice, "May I inquire as to your purpose in my room at this time of morning?"
I look at him then. I see a broken boy trying so hard to hide his pain. My heart feels a slight ache as I look at Hans. What happened to the anger I held for him? Why do I want to hug him instead of punch him? I have a million questions going through my head right now, but none of those are what I ask.
"Why? Why did you do what you did?" I end up spitting out in the uncomfortable silence. Hans' face hardens as the question leaves my chapped lips.
"Obviously because I desired to rule my own kingdom," he says in a monotone voice as he avoids my eyes.
I shake my head. For some reason I don't believe that answer. It seems too simple for him.
"The real reason. I want to know now," I say with more force then I had meant. Hans shoots his lowered head up and looks at me in surprise.
"That's the truth," he lies again. I stand up and move to him without thinking. I reach my hands out and grab his shoulders. I give a firm but not rough shake.
[ (/-\) hehe should I keep writing or is it shit??]