"you really cheered me up a lotttt nicole, i dont know how to thank you" i hugged nicole for a goodbye
"just smile, thats enough" she replied. i really have no idea what i'd do without her. right as i was leaving, he was standing in front of me.
"keigh"
"no"
"listen, i just need you to listen"
"listen to what? bullshit?"
"please. i truly loved-" he said
my eyes lit up
"-our friendship" he continued
friendship. a friend. nothing more than that. i shouldve known.
"is that girl your.." i asked
"my girlfriend? No! shes just a friend"
"are you sure? why would she call you babe.."
"we had a thing i guess, shes not over it yet."
"and you want me to believe this? all this crap? why do you act like im the world to you and in the next second you treat me like trash vincent? please tell me why. im genuinely curious. it hurts vincent, it really does" it was raining, a perfect moment to cover my tears. "But keighlani i mean it, you mean a lot to me" he replied, also keeping his tears in.
"Not this again. not this"
"please, why wont you just believe me?"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU VINCENT, I FUCKING LOVE YOU! I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU AND IT HURTS. IM JEALOUS ALL THE TIME WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND, IM JEALOUS OF ALL THOSE GIRLS IN YOUR DMS VINCENT"
my voice was shaking and i felt like fainting.
"But when i told you i loved you..-"
"i wasnt sure what to say. i couldnt believe it" i cut him off. my hair was soaking wet and i was freezing.
"let me drive you home at least" he held my hand.
"no, thank you" that was my answer. even tho i wanted to get in his car, blast music and enjoy being around him, but i simply said those 3 words, those 10 letters, those 3 seconds.
he quickly let go, accepting my answer. he shook his head one more time before turning around and walking towards his car, staring at me one more time before driving off, leaving trails of sadness. i got on the subway while sobbing, everyone was staring at me but i couldnt care less at this point, i was done. done with this town, its bullshit and lies.

iMessage

keigh :)
im running away

aaron😽
what??

keigh :)
you heard me aaron

aaron😽
youre joking.

keigh ;)
im not aaron,
im trying but i
cant take this shit
any longer. everything
around me is dark and
i cant seem to escape it.
my heart hurts, my body
hurts and my soul hurts.
i feel like screaming and
letting it all out but i cant,
the only thing keeping me
away from it is him. i
cant take this anymore, im
trying. im really trying.
i just want this to stop, the pain.
he means so much to
me, too much at this
point, its hurting.
no one understands me
and i have no one,
not even my own mother
is here for me. im craving
a deep hug and a "its okay"
but no ones here to do
that, its an empty hallway.
its hard, too hard for
me to take this any longer.

aaron😽
keighlani
aaron😽
you are a really good friend
but i just dont know what to say to be real

keigh :)
i know, i wasn't expecting anything else, sorry💓
keigh :)
hows your day been?<3

aaron😽
to be real it sucked, i hurt my leg while
skating today

keigh :)
aw omg im so sorryy i hope u
feel a lot better soon :(
want me to come over w snacks?

aaron😽
no hah im totally okay, the boys are here w me

keigh :)
oh okay then, anyways i gtg now. ttyl
read

P A I N
P A I N
P A I N
P A I N

all im asking for is love. not even a lot,
just someone to tell me that i can do this

Authors note
thank you for
all your love and support.
this chapter was a bit hard for me,
since its representing my own feelings.
the chat between aaron and keighlani is actually what i deal with every day.
them not listening and switching the subject. thats why i do not show my true feelings to anyone around me, i know its not gonna be worth it. if youre going through the same thing, im here to talk. if you need anything just talk to me.
you are loved and worth everything you can imagine.