I was thinking about his words. What if i just let go and leave with him? I could be free. Free for the first time. At the same time I couldnt just leave my mom alone, not right now. shes not feeling well.

"Um Vinnie?"
"Yeah?"
"at school-"
"dont."
"what?"
"dont remind me"
"what.. why?"
"lets just forget about that, i have a more important question"
"i- uhm what is it"
"what did you mean by i cant hurt your feelings again? when did i ever hurt you keigh"
"i told you vinnie, i didnt mean it that way"
"are you sure?"
"yeah."
we looked into each others eyes for a few seconds before he moved out the way, taking his jacket
"i should head out now"
"yeah, youre right its getting late"
"i'll see you"
i closed the door without saying anything back.
why does he make me feel that way? what is it thats so attractive about him? hes just living in my mind, i'd do anything to get him out. it just hurts.

My mom walked in through the door, looking at me confused
"Honey, are you okay?"
"Huh? what?"
"you looked so concerned"
"oh! haha i was just thinking about him"
"about who?"
"uh- i meant thinking about something"
"mhm right. I'll be in my room if you need anything"

thats what she always says, and in the end shes not here when i need her. i feel so alone, so cold and so broken. the only time i feel warmth is when hes around, people talk about special people. hes my special person, my soulmate. i can tell. he understands me and i understand him, we arent 100% comfortable around each other yet, but we're getting close to it, i can feel it.

I was getting really tired so i put on my sad playlist and slowly dozed off.
Of course I was dreaming of him, not even my dreams will leave me alone.
It's frustrating, i have to tell him.

I woke up to my alarm at 7am, i stood up and went to my moms room, she was still asleep. "Maybe i should just stay at home today? some rest would be great."
Without having any second thoughts i went back to bed, then waking up at 11 in the morning. Todays weather was great, i decided to go outside to skateboard a bit.

the fit:

the board:

"I havent skated in so long oh my god" I said before getting on and skating off. i missed this feeling, i was comfortable. As if my life wasnt fucked up enough, i see him there. sitting with another guy, i looked closely and if was Tyler.
"fuck you got to be kidding me" i thought
soon, they both noticed me
"damn looking kinda hot today keighlani" tyler shouted
"fuck off" i said
"tyler leave her alone" i heard vinnie saying
"oh so now youre saying something? your mouth was completely shut when he pushed me against a fucking locker"
vinnie looked shocked and all that tyler could bring up was a dumb laugh. such an asshole.
"laugh as much as you'd like to, its about the last person laughing" i scuffed
"shut up nerd"
"dont talk to her like that tyler"
"awh are you her boyfriend or what?"
"i dont have to be her boyfriend to tell a bitch to shut up"
"yall are suckers, peace out" tyler stood up and left. when i was about to leave i heard vinnie
"not even a thank you?"
"a thank you for something you did too late? no thanks"
"oh damn"
i rolled my eyes before skating to the other direction
"i didnt know you skate?"
"vinnie please youre making everything more awkward"
he was now skating right next to me
"awkward? i dont think this is awkward in any way, i enjoy talking to you"
"dont get soft"
"im not-"
"awh dont cry about it now" i teased him
"nevermind, you really cant have any normal conversations huh?"
he stopped skating and went back.
"vinnie, im sorry"
"thats what i wanted to hear" he smirked
"oh my god youre so childish, did you really pull that whole show just for an apology?"
"maybe, maybe not" he winked