I think im autistic

I'm afab and my brother is amab and theres not a bunch of difference between us

but there IS one thing

my parents think hes autistic because he has no filter, but I'm just "obnoxious" and "a control freak"

I need the lights off to go to bed (and i mean EVERY light in the house) and i know it's annoying but i literally cannot sleep i can see the light through my door it makes me want to rip my hair out

I have breakdowns in stores/restaurants because of the noise and all the people there but my mother insists I should think of the starving children in the middle east who lost their homes

my mom told me I need to stop "trying to be autistic" because it "ruins peoples lives" because I do the little hand flap things and she hates it so much she gets so angry when I do it I never understand why she's so mad at me all the time for small things I know she has ocd but I'm always a "control freak" and being pushy when I literally cannot control it

I WISH I could sleep with lights on I WISH I could handle people chewing I WISH I could shut the fuck up about space she doesn't fucking understand. she doesn't even pretend to be interested in space it sucks. It's genuinely one of the only things that keeps me happy and she's just like, "mhm, okay, have you fed the dogs?" And then just does something else CAN YOU PLEASE LISTEN TO ME FOR A FUCKING MOMENT??

thats not even all of it but I have all the symptoms and I don't know if im just a brat or if there's something wrong with me