Step One: Be Flirty

Key Points: always smile, compliment him when the chance is given (but don't go overboard), and be a master of the "accidental touches" .

Dahlia and Joe have been the best of friends since they were in diapers. They always did everything together. There was literally no separating them, even though many people have tried over the years. All in all, the two of them always found their way back to one another, even in their college years, which wasn't hard, since they went to the same college; they were just a few hallways away from one another. But lately something has changed and it isn't hard to define:

Dahlia is in love with Joe.

She has been for quite some time now, but she wouldn't dare tell Joe, for the fear of being rejected. And since the two of them are room mates, that would be incredibly awkward; get up every morning, say an awkward "hello", then move on with their daily routines. Dahlia didn't want that awkwardness to ruin what they've had for all these countless years, so she kept to herself. Or so she thought ...

You see, Pete was sneaky. Sneaky and smart. Which was a plus in his book, but not always in everyone else's. Yeah, he could be helpful, but sometimes (not all the time, because in a lot of cases, he did a lot of good for people), what he saw helpful, others didn't. But Dahlia was never like that. She always appreciated Pete and his little shenanigans, whether they were for her or not.

And that's where we find Dahlia now: spilling her guts out to Pete about Joe.

"No! You don't get it! He's freaking perfect, Pete!" Dahlia says.

"To you," Pete jokes.

"Ugh, why do I even bother with you?" she asks, genuinely confused as to why she bothers talking to Pete sometimes.

"Because you love me," he teases.

"I don't exactly have a choice," she rolls her eyes. "but seriously, what am I supposed to do?"

"Take your time," Pete says.

"Thank you captain obvious," Dahlia says.

"Hey, if you're going to be all smart on me, you can forget me helping," Pete says, starting to get up from the couch.

"No!" Dahlia shouts, practically dragging him back onto the couch. "I'll be good, I swear."

"You sound like a five year old. Now anyway, here's what you need to do," Pete starts. "You've got to be subtle, but you need to flirt with him, ok? Flirting is all about showing him that you're interested in him, whether he knows it already or not. If you feel nervous about it, just do it anyway. Put yourself out there! And remember, smile. Smiling is a good thing, and we all know you have a killer smile - not as good as mine of course. If you want to be a little shit, look at him from a little bit away, lock eyes, then smile, and look away. It may seem weird, but do it. Also, be a fucking master of 'accidental touching'. If you two are sitting on the couch and watching your weird superhero cartoon or whatever, 'accidentally' brush your hand over his when you're reaching for something, or when you're walking to go do something, pretend you don't see him and bump into him. It may seem stupid, but fucking do it, Dahl. And last, but certainly not least, compliment him when you can. Don't like go into compliment overdrive because you'll creep him out, but do little things, like compliment him on his clothes, his cooking, anything. That's your first step."

"Can you like write that all down and send it to me?" Dahlia asks.

"Did you hear a fucking word I just said?" Pete asks, getting annoyed.

"Yes, I did. Don't get your fucking panties in a twist," Dahlia plopped back onto the couch.

"How'd you know I wear panties?" he asks.

After arguing with one another for at least another hour, Dahlia went back to hers and Joe's apartment., where she found Joe upside down on the couch, talking to one of his friends on the phone. Dahlia swears he's a teenage girl at heart. She simply laughed at him, making sure she flaunted that smile of hers, then trotted off into the kitchen. Soon after, Joe skipped into the kitchen, blocking Dahlia's view of the cabinets, where she needed to get.

"Hey fucker," she says, crossing her arms.

"Hi," Joe smiles.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"Whatcha makinggg?" he asks, getting into Dahlia's personal space.

"Food," she says, gently pushing him back Does that count as 'accidental touching'? Probably not ...

"Well. no shit, sherlock," he smirks. "Define 'food'."

"Food as in Mac n Cheese," she smiles again.

"Make me some, pleaseee?" he whines. Honestly, how can she say no to that face?

"Fine," she rolls her eyes.

"Thank youuu!" Joe runs off back into the living room.

A short twenty minutes later, the food's ready and Dahlia pours it into two bowls: one for her and one for Joe. She decided she's going to bring Joe's bowl to him, that way she can take her opportunity to become a master of the 'accidental touching'. Dahlia grabs his bowl and meanders her way into the living room, where Joe is sprawled out on the couch, half on half off. She laughs to herself, then holds the bowl out in front of him. He instantly perks up and grabs the bowl from her, thanking her in the process. She smiles again, then walks back to the kitchen to get her bowl. When she comes back, Joe's sprawled out on the couch again, carefully scooping spoonful after spoonful of Mac n Cheese into his mouth like a four year old. She sighs, then puts her bowl on the coffee table.

"Move," she says.

"But I'm comfortable," he retorts.

"I need to sit somewhere," she says.

"Then sit on the floor," he says.

"You know what that does to my back," Dahlia says.

"Then I guess you're moving me yourself," Joe says, setting his bowl on the floor and crossing his arms across his chest.

Dahlia sighs, not really caring because this was something they did often. She cracks her knuckles, then practically jumps on Joe, who grunts when he gets a knee in a not-so-good spot, but that wasn't enough to stop him from keeping his spot on the couch. Dahlia eventually had Joe in a headlock, nearly choking on his abundance of hair.

"You're an ass!" joe shouts as he gets thrown onto the floor.

"I try," Dahlia smiles, quickly grabbing her bowl and taking her seat on the couch.

That's totally "accidental touching", right? Right.