About self-esteem

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Everybody tries to shape themselves in a particular manner – in a way they would like to see themselves. Sometimes we put our heart and soul into setting goals and pursuing them.

While we can deal with the criticism and grudges towards our pursuits expressed by complete strangers, because they can motivate us to prove them wrong, everything looks different when it comes to the criticism and lack of understanding from friends and family. Every word brings pain – it's like a knife being stuck directly in the center of our heart. Moreover, when it's stuck, it turns out that the blade was covered with venom. The pain doesn't go away – with every minute it grows stronger and stronger and it rips us inside. Why does it happen? Subconsciously, we think that people close to us, such as our parents, siblings, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or simply good friends know us as well as we do. If they begin to doubt us or deny our actions, we automatically take notice of it. Our self-esteem falters and we start wondering whether our ambitions aren't too far-fetched. We make ourselves believe that since those people know us through and through, maybe ever since we've been babies, they are probably right. Then, we feel as if we were worth nothing.

On the one side we know it's our life and our decisions, but on the other side the opinion of people who are important to us exerts significant influence on us. We know that we have set our goals and that we pursue them, but still those few words – those unfavorable words spoken by people who are important for us – can take their toll. It's an unfriendly force which tries to throw us out of the path to the goal. It would be good if at least one of those people believed in us, and, more precisely, in our goals. Then, we should believe in ourselves and our abilities, because that one person can counterweight others and help us regain our faith in the purpose of our actions.

Being aware of the power of our favor for the actions of people who consider us important to them, let us try to be their anchor and support them in their pursuit of their goals, no matter if we consider those goals improbable, or not. Let's not clip their wings, even if everybody else does that. Let's be like the sun shining through the clouds, bringing a ray of hope. Let's be aware that it's really important for that person.

" [...] let's be like the Sun shining through the clouds, bringing a ray of hope."


However, what should we do if everyone who is important to us is skeptical towards our actions?

First of all, we must wonder whether it isn't partially our fault. Have we really tried to explain everyone what we want to do or achieve? Maybe if we talked to them honestly, some of those people would understand our actions. Sometimes the lack of favor towards our actions is derived from the fact that we don't explain what we want. Someone may not be aware of what we think about and what we want to achieve, not to mention that they might not be aware that our actions are linked to something important to us.

Even if some of those people still will "know better" what's best for us and what we should do about it, during an honest conversation we should tell them: "I respect Your opinion, but please, don't criticize my actions, because You are someone really important to me. And that's why Your negative comments really hurt me. If You think I'm equally important to You, I just ask You to respect my actions, because they are closely linked to my desires." If that person accepts our request, they won't be our anchor, but they also won't put any extra obstacles in the shape of another doubts.

We should also go out and meet new people. Maybe we will find among them those, whose goals are similar to ours. With time, some of those people may become our friends, and we will gain someone important who will understand our actions.

Therefore, we should remember that a lot depends on us. Sometimes all You have to do is to talk, explain, ask or open Yourself up to new people, so that we would feel much better. A perfect example is Martyna Wojciechowska, who is also a mom. A mom who knows that You have to live in harmony with Yourself in order to be happy. Therefore, she doesn't tell her daughter what she should do in her life – she wants her to choose herself. This approach is truly praiseworthy. Children who are forced to do something they hate only because their parents want to make their own dreams come true will not end up well. All that situation can bring that child is depression. And I think that every parent would prefer their children to be happy. When You have Your own children in the future, or if You already are a parent – support them, accept their goals. It's really important to them.

Martyna Wojciechowska with her daughter

source: https://www.facebook.com/MartynaAtTheEndOfTheWorld

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