Chapter 3

Scarlett's Point of View

Song: I'll Find You by Lecrae ft. Tori Kelly

There was nothing worse than the morning after. Some say being hang over is the worse. Well I would tell them, try and be hung over from alcohol, drugs, also withdrawing because I didn't take my prescription pills last night and on top of all that, be struggling to walk because your thigh is so sore from slicing it to pieces the night before.

Yeah. There was nothing worse than the morning after. The hate for myself would increase along with disappointment. Because I had given in to the need, to the darkness. I had self harmed, not just with a razor but with drugs and alcohol as well.

I threw the blanket back and slowly brought my feet to the floor. I glanced at the time after one in the afternoon. Great I had missed my statement with the police. I think it was at eleven. I reached for the glass that still had vodka in it and threw it down. I needed something to drink my body was craving water, but all I had in reach was left over vodka.

My head was pounding, my thigh was aching and I had learnt over the years that blood stained, so I always had black sheets on the bed.

I reached for my phone. I guess I should call my lawyer and explain why I stood them up this morning. What was I going to say? Sorry I didn't make it cause I had drank and smoked myself into an coma?

I frowned looking at my phone, miss calls from David. David was the lawyer who I had hoped could come up with a solution to my problem. I knew it was a long shot. But David was gifted when it came to the law. Well gifted in working around it. He was so good at working around the law, that judges and other lawyers didn't even realize he was crooked.

He loved a challenge and I had given him a huge one yesterday. One he said he couldn't see himself solving.

I call his number and place it to my ear. The sound of the ringing was loud enough to make me cringe.

"Scarlett was beginning to think you were blocking my calls?" David answered and his voice was louder than normal or at least to my ear.

"Sorry. I was asleep." I didn't lie to David, well I did about my bipolar. But telling him I was asleep was the truth.

"Have you got me a Christmas present yet?"

I frowned. "It's June?"

"Yeah but you are going to need to put some real thought into what you get me after I tell you what I have to tell you."

"What are you trying to tell me?" He had my full attention now- he wasn't saying that he had worked out a solution to my problem? "Are you saying you can get Nate off?"

"I can't get him off the charges but I can get the case dismissed."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "David you are fucking amazing." I was going to tell him how much I owed him but before I could open my mouth and tell him, he spoke.

"Before you say another word, there is a condition to my miracle, one you mightn't want to agree too."

I frowned and then listened to him as he explained.

***

I smoothed out the crinkles in my dress, then pulling my white coat around me. I was gripping the folder which contained everything David and I worked on all day a bit tight, as I pressed the penthouse floor number.

I had to get past reception, lied and said I was Nate's lawyer. So I got permission to enter the lift and head up. I knew what I was about to suggest to him was insane. Yeah I was questioning on whether he would kick me out of his apartment as soon as he heard what I had to say.

It also wasn't helping my case that he didn't know I was coming to him. He was expecting his lawyer.

I watched the numbers go up as the elevator flew to his floor.

Okay. I can do this. I would do this. I didn't want him going to prison. And this was an option. One he at least had to acknowledge and be given.

My pulse was quickening, my blood burning every nerve in my body with fear. My mind couldn't control or organize the non-stopping questions and fears running through my mind.

What would he say? How would he react? I knew what I was suggesting was crazy, but it was the only option. I wouldn't let him go to prison for saving my life. A life that didn't deserve to be saved mind you. I wouldn't let a man that had put his life on the line every day to save lives of strangers, to go to prison- because of me.

Nope. I had to give him this option.

I think my heart beat stopped for a second when the elevator doors opened.

I lost all my confidence around the twentieths floor. So I stepped out into the crisp white, modern, luxury penthouse foyer.

"Nate? Are you here?" I asked, my voice was waving in nerves, it was so clear to hear- like really clear, it was embarrassing. I could handle being in the care of others, yet here I was scared of having a conversation with a man that saved my life.

"If I wasn't you wouldn't be in here." Nate's stepped out from the shadows a glass in his hand.

He looked terrible and I wondered briefly how much he had drunk.

Here stood a man that had put his life on the line again and again, saving souls that didn't even know they were in danger. He lived his life one mission at a time. You might think it takes a cold hearten man to take a life of another, but I saw it differently.

He placed his life and morals in question by doing the job he did and he didn't think twice about it; just like he hadn't thought twice about ending those two men's life when they both threatened to track me down and kill me.

"I lied to reception saying I was your lawyer." I didn't walk towards him. I still wasn't sure if I was welcome. After how I acted when he came and saw me- well he had every right to kick me out. Actually for what I was putting him through- I deserved to be kicked out.

"Yeah last time I checked my lawyer wasn't a brunette." He gave me a dull smile. "You can come in."

His apartment was elegantly decorated. He stood in front of floor to ceiling glass windows, which over looked the city. He walked around a long white couch, heading in the direction of bar cart.

I exhaled slowly. Okay he wasn't mad that I lied to get up here. "Let me guess your lawyer is a blonde?" I tried to make light conversation with him, as I stepped down into his sunken lounge room.

"Nope." He had his back to me, pouring himself another drink.

Okay. Seems like he didn't want to make small chat. Well that was fair. I held on tighter to the folder. How was I going to bring up my crazy idea? Well David's crazy idea- but I thought it was brilliant when he told me.

He turned around, his eyes on the glass on in his hand. "So why you here Scarlett?" He looked up at me, with no emotion on his face.

"I um wanted to talk to you." I nervously, balanced my weight from foot to foot. Honestly I felt like my legs were going to buckle any second.

"We aren't allowed to be talking." He sat down on one of the recliners. His eyes were on me, examining me.

He said that like I didn't already know that. "Yeah well, I had to tell you something. Well more like show you something.. ok I don't know how I'm going to explain this." I wanted so badly to run my hand through my hair, something I always did when I got this nervous, but today I thought it was a brilliant idea to wear my hair in a bun. Ok how many times had I practiced this?

He arched his eyebrows. "If it is about your statement I hope you told the truth."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yeah because the truth won't send an innocent man to prison will it! My words will put you in handcuffs on a van to a prison where you will live out your life!"

Did he have any idea how much that upset me? Did he have any idea how I couldn't do that to him! No one deserved to be punished for saving my life. He didn't know that my life would have been better off if it ended that night. He didn't know that that bullet he stopped from getting me, well it would have ended all my suffering. Ending my fight with bipolar.

He wasn't to know that he was saving a life that was already dead. But I knew he had. I knew he was about to go to prison waste his life and talent because of his mistake. Well I was going to make it right.

I let go of the folder from my grips opening it. I didn't know how to tell him. So I was going to show him. I pulled out the official letter that had my signage on it as well as David's and two judges.

I handed it to Nate. He glanced at it then looked back at me.

"I don't need to read your statement. I was there I know what happened." Nate dismissed the piece of paper and threw back his drink, then his eyes were back on me. "You didn't lie did you?"

Well. Yes. I had lied. Well was going to. "No I haven't done my statement." I kept the paper extended waiting for him to take it.

"How did you get out of it? You were meant to do it yesterday? How did you not have to do it today?" Nate was generally interested. I wish he was as interested in the piece of paper I was trying to get him to read.

I sighed, frustrated. "Last time  I checked I pay the lawyer. So he will do what I say. Now please read this." I waved the piece of paper at him again.

"What you are paying for a lawyer? I thought you would get one off the list."

I wanted to slap him with the stupid piece of paper. He wanted to talk about why I wasn't taking a lawyer off the public list? Maybe I didn't flaunt that I had money. And the night he saw me, I wasn't exactly dressed in my normal wardrobe of designer clothes. Even tonight, I wasn't exactly screaming wealth. But I was wealthy. I worked hard.

"Why is a big deal if I pay for a lawyer or not? I'm guessing you didn't take a public lawyer." I just guessed, taking in his pent house apartment. Everything about him screamed wealth.

He shrugged his shoulder and I gasped.

"How the hell could you be so stupid! You are facing manslaughter! And you are letting some new grad lawyer defend you! Are you stupid!" My voice went up in rage.

"Scarlett. I did kill them. So my case speaks for itself." He dismissed my argument and point immediately. "So if this about your statement, just tell the truth. Like I told you to yesterday."

I gritted my teeth. "Read the piece of paper." I took the glass from his hand placing it on the coffee table and forcing the piece of paper in his hand.

He dragged his eyes off me sighing and gave the piece of paper that would give him an insight into my plan.

At first I saw he wasn't taking it serious, and then I watched his expression drop when he got to the second paragraph.

His eyes string up from the piece and he stared at me for a few seconds, with his mouth slightly open.

He looked back down at the official document and then looked back at me. "This is disqualifying you as a witness because you are my wife." He said the words slowly, as if he had read the document wrong.

I sat across from him, and started pulling out documents. "This is our wedding license. Receipts from our honeymoon. Statements from people who knew we were together. This document lists the reasons on why we had to keep it a secret." And I slowly started handing them to him. "And this one, is our contract of marriage. Detailing what is yours and what is mine. I thought you would want a prenup so I included that on the condition if I divorced you. However if you divorce me you are entitled to half of everything of mine."

I think he was in shock. Or had just become a mute. I stayed quiet as he read each piece of paper I had handed to him. He wasn't saying anything. At least he wasn't screaming I was insane and to leave his apartment.

"I know this isn't ideal, and you most likely don't want to marry me. I get that. But this way, you can still do your job, live your life, and when I mean live your life, I mean do whatever you want. Be with other women, I don't care." I looked down at my lap. "I don't expect you to be faithful. I don't expect anything from you." I looked up at noticed his eyes were now on me. I nervously took a breath in. "Please say something?"

His eyes dropped down to our marriage certificate, "You've already signed it." His fingers ran over my signage on the certificate.

I nodded my head. "I've signed everything. All it needs is your signage. Also the reason you were at the pharmacy that night, was because you were meeting me there. So that answers their question on why you were there. My lawyer said you hadn't given a reason." I kept looking at him, as his eyes were glued on our wedding certificate.

"You've already agreed to be in being my wife." He looked up, at his eyes were covered in wonder. "You don't even know me. But you are willingly going to be my wife. Which means you are giving up on falling in love and getting married. Isn't that every girls dream?"

My eyes dropped to the coffee table. "Maybe every girls dream, but I'm a woman." I looked up. "And I live in reality."

"You are gorgeous Scarlett, men would be falling at your feet. This," he gestured to the papers, "isn't fair on you. Isn't fair for you to give up this side of your life."

"Trust me Nate, it is a side of my life I was never planning on living." I moved to the edge of the couch. "I understand this is a lot to take in. I get that. So I'll let you think about it. I can put of my statement for another few days but then I think they will end up locking me down at home or work. So think about it, and call me." I pulled out a pen from my hand bag and scribbled my number on the edge of a piece of paper on the coffee table.

I looked up and his eyes were on me. As if I was some sort of miracle.

"You really want this? You really want to do this?" He questioned me again.

"It was my idea remember." I picked up my hand bag. "But I get if you would rather go to prison then be married. I know some men hate the idea of marriage. I won't be offended."

I got up, and just as I turned to walk away from him and leave him to think, his hand wrapped around my wrist, I nearly pulled it from his grasp completely because it was still sore from the night the man tried his best to break it.

I looked at his hand wrapped around my wrist and slowly looked up, meeting his eyes.

"You'll have to move in. We will be under a microscope. If we do this, we have to really do some good acting." He was speaking like he was thinking about it.

"I sucked at drama at school." I smiled at him. "But I'm very good at putting up a front. So I won't let our fake marriage down."

He kept staring into my eyes and then he shook his head. "How the hell did you pull this off? Like there are judges and lawyers and other people involved in this lie. What you just showed me, looks like we are truly married for like..."

"Three months." I finished his sentence. "And let's just say I'm well connected."

He scoffed. "Clearly to have that many people willing to lie for you."

"Not me. Us." I corrected him. "Have a good night Nate and call me when you make a decision. I also want you to know, I want this. I'm not doing it out of guilt. I think we could at least be very good friends"

I pulled my wrist from his grasp and slowly started to walk towards the elevator. I felt so drained now. I had told him everything, it was now in his hands. He could decide whether he would rather spend a few years with me as his wife, or go to prison.

I did understand if he wanted to go to prison.

"Scarlett?"

"Um?" I turned around.

"What do you get out of this? I get freedom, a beautiful wife, what do you get?" The seriousness in his voice, along with curiousness. He generally  wanted to know what I got out of this deal.

I swallowed sharply at that, beautiful wife? That's what he thought of me. I pushed that aside and focused on answering his question. "I get to know the one person who put their life on the line for mine, is safe and free to live his life the way he wants. Also I'm giving the world back their guardian angel." I smiled at him and that was truth. It was the only unselfish thing I have done in my life. But I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Guardian angel." He smirked. "What about your parents? What will they think?"

"My parents stopped controlling my life a long time ago."

He looked down at the piece of paper. "You know we will have to be married for years? Right? Not just a month." Then his eyes were back on mine. Was he expecting me to panic?

"I signed that piece of paper Nate, knowing I would be giving my life to you for as long as you need it."

He shook his head. "This isn't fair on you."

"Well it's not really fair on you. Look at your two options. Marry me or prison. Let's face it you are between a rock and a hard place." My hand went to my hair,  so badly wanted to pull it out of the bun. "I am fully on board with this Nate."

"What about past relationships?" He brought up a subject I had already considered.

"I haven't had any. But if you have, we can say we worked past them." I shrugged it really wasn't a big deal. "I don't really see you being unfaithful as an issue." I yawned. "I should go. Are we good?"

"If you are asking do I agree to us being married, then yes Scarlett we are good." He frowned, questioning himself.

"Well then, I'll let my lawyer know in the morning we are going ahead with it." I nodded my head. "Good night Nate."

I knew we had things to discuss, but I couldn't take any more tonight. I was drained of every emotion and my brain needed rest.

"It's late Scarlett." Nate show how managed to get in front of me blocking my way to the elevator. "Too late for you to be walking home."

I smiled slightly up at him. "Who said I was walking?"

"I do know you, perhaps not as well as others but I know you like walking and I would bet my life on it you were planning on walking home."

My smile dropped. How did he know that? Stunned and to be honest amazed I looked up at him with awe. "Well Nathaniel it seems you know more about me, than I knew." And I didn't want to know how he knew them.

"You're staying here." His words were final, and he spoke in a manner which didn't allow me to argue back.

"I can't." I lied.

He arched an eyebrow expecting me to explain. But I wasn't completely his yet and I felt like I needed just one more night being me.

"I'll be Scarlett Chamber's in the morning or whenever you decide to sign the papers but right now I'm Scarlett Shaw and Scarlett Shaw is walking home, like she always does. When you sign that piece of paper I'm all yours" I took a step back and shot him a tight smile before heading back to the elevator.

I saw his eyes drop to the piece of paper in his hand and the pen he had in the other hand.

He was still yet to sign the papers and I knew he still had a lot of self-debating to do before he finally took the pen and signed his life away to me.

"Scarlett?" he called me back and I turned around to see what he wanted. "You better say good bye to Scarlett Shaw because you just became Scarlett Chambers."

My mouth dropped just slightly and shock threw itself over me. My eyes locked on one thing and one thing only and that being his perfect signage. He had signed it.

"I suppose I should say welcome to your new home." A faint smirk dashed across his lips.

It was official we were married and suddenly it hit me, really hard- this was happening.