CHAPTER 40 - IT'S NOT GONNA BE ILLEGAL FOREVER

"You think we can go back by now?" Vanessa asked, dangling her feet just above the water.

Jason grunted. "I don't wanna think about it."

She chuckled, leaving her head on his shoulder, hands entwined with his on his thigh. "Come on, Jay, we faced this. Better an asshole you know, than one you have to trust blindly."

He rolled his eyes, agreeing, yet not ready to acknowledge it. They were sitting on the riverbank, relaxing, enjoying the cool breeze of the impending night, peaceful, pizza had been only an excuse, of course, the purpose was leaving Riley and Emily alone, but now the question was, was it safe to go back? Jason didn't want to think about it, Vanessa knew more than hoped that it was best to keep her boyfriend far from that specific apartment for a few hours, because ... well, her best friend had kinda confessed specific ideas.

Vanessa wasn't sure whether Emily would go through or not, nevertheless it was safer to avoid Jason knowing, or worse, witnessing. The guy had come to terms with the fact that his best friend might become his brother-in-law someday, but it was still hard to accept the fact that his baby sister was no more a baby and that it would be Riley of all men possible to gather that flower.

Was it for Jason, Emily would be nun, sometimes he thought he'd have nothing against his sister living with him and his future wife, to Jason, his baby sister was an asexual being, with no needs, no desires that didn't depend on food or usual comforts, no cravings that could be satisfied by a male being. Well, he liked to think so. "Either way, I don't wanna see it. My fist would inevitably collide with his face."

Vanessa giggled, shaking her head. "You'll never change, will you?"

He grunted in response, which had her smile. If she had to be honest, she wouldn't want him to change, Vanessa loved him just the way he was, with all his grumpiness, his bad temper, his coldness, even the way his moral compass made weird turns before pointing in the right way, and the way he wasn't that much beyond bending rules for the sake of a greater good, she loved his rash ways, sure, sometimes he was a jackass worth strangling, but all of that made him the amazing guy he was, and Vanessa loved every bit of his flaws as much as his good traits.

Now, this type of crankiness, Vanessa knew it was his own way of dealing with the affection he felt for his sister, unorthodox, sure, but cute in its own way. Jason would never say it out loud, would never hug Emily nor tell her sweet words, but, his girlfriend was well aware, he would not blink one nanosecond before throwing himself into the flames of Hell for the sake of his sister.

Jason was simply made like that, he'd never show his emotions, most of the time Vanessa couldn't even tell what he felt by his expressions, he let nothing seep through, she could count on one hand the times he'd told her he loved her, yet there were times when he would snake his arms around her, leave his face behind her neck, breathing her in, keeping her close, and that, for her, counted more than a thousand words, because she was able to read through it, as much as none of his exes, Gwen included, had. Vanessa knew that when Jason did that, it was his own way of declaring his love, and the sultrier he was in his cuddles, the more he meant it.

Jason was the complete opposite to Riley, Riley was the type of guy that might even write a poem for you, invent the most romantic, cheesiest, corniest gestures that would have any girl's heart melt, but Jason? Jason found it hard to express his feelings, that's why he conveyed them in small acts. Before Vanessa, no other girl had understood that, that's why he found his peace with her. Who would have said they'd wind up together when, four years ago, that vivacious teen had barged into their lives?

*************

FLASHBACK

Jason rolled his eyes for the third time in ten minutes, namely, since that call had started. Sometimes Gwen could be so unnerving. He moved the phone from his ear when she started yelling. She did that every time. This was what, the third fight in a week? The one before had left him so tired, so exhausted, that he'd decided it was time to take a break. They did that sometimes, take a break, the most it'd last was a couple of days, then they'd be back together, as if nothing had happened, but lately it was becoming unbearable.

Jason loved Gwen, he kept reminding himself that, but hey, for how much love entails smoothening one's sharp edges, it doesn't mean changing entirely for the sake of the other person, if Gwen didn't accept his cranky self, then she may as well say goodbye, because he wouldn't become one of those lovesick puppies at their girlfriend's command. They'd been together since two years, by now she should have gotten used to his sharp angles, then why was she still pointing them all out, urging him to change?

That was what he hated the most about her, she was slowly working to change him. He'd allowed that in the beginning, being well aware that he wasn't exactly a sweetheart to be around, he'd thought he could comply with her, because he loved her for real, like he never had, a few sacrifices were necessary for a relationship to work, his best friend kept reminding him, reminiscing all those times Jason had broken up with a girl at the first misunderstanding, but was he seriously that bad for a guy?

Sometimes Jason wondered if his flaws didn't surpass his good traits, and if they did, why did Gwen still put up with him? She was a sweet beautiful girl, she might just dump him and find someone worth her talents, couldn't she? This way both their lives would be easier. He'd never thought about ending the relationship, though. Always that small trouble called love.

However, this time was different. The fight they'd had back in Boston had been so huge, that he hadn't even told her anything, he'd only grabbed his keys, slammed the door, and got in the car, driving straight home, to blow off some steam, relax, and think it over before writing the final word of the chapter called Gwen.

That's why she was so mad. He was always abandoning the battle field, she accused, he was so immature, he couldn't stay and work it out, he'd always leave. Jason took in every reprimand, biting his tongue not to respond, because, otherwise, he'd have to make her notice that, if he left, it was for the best.

If he spat all the venom bubbled up inside him throughout every fight, then sure as hell she'd hate him and finally decide to leave him. If he left, it was only not to risk hurting her. That was about the sole leash he'd ever put himself on: never getting to that point of no return where words can't be withdrawn. He wasn't beyond doing it with other people, but with Gwen, he cared too much for her to let his hot-headed self get in the way.

Once Gwen was done yelling, Jason took a deep breath and concluded: "I'll be here for the weekend, we'll talk on Monday."

"No, we'll talk today, Jason. Come back."

He rolled his eyes. If there was one thing he hated, that was being bossed around, and his girlfriend had too much of a habit of doing that lately. "I need some time to think."

"You can think in Boston."

"Gwen ..."

"Why are you always fleeing? Don't you know commitment? It's been three years! You should have learnt by now, you-"

Jason hung up, and it took him a good amount of self control not to throw the phone in the street. He loved Gwen, but the girl was impossible sometimes. A weekend away from her would do him some good, this way he could go back and face the war she'd wage. Sometimes he damned himself for caring about this relationship, didn't he love her that much, he'd have already thrown everything down the drain and started over, which sometimes seemed like a bright idea.

Taking a deep breath, he locked the car and walked through the small patio, up to the familiar door. Home sweet home. The solitary road was better to calm down, he actually knew just the place, but his mom would be worse than Gwen if he dared hang around town without going home first.

Without knocking, he helped himself inside, calling: "Hello? Mom? Emily?" No answer. He shrugged. Maybe they weren't home, his sister had a visit with the orthopedist this month, maybe they were there. Oh, well. Jason went straight to the kitchen, in need of some liquid nectar to soothe his nerves, but he stopped at the entrance, when he noticed honey blonde waves jumping up and down at the rhythm of some pop music. He frowned, baffled.

The girl didn't seem to have noticed him, she went on dancing like nothing, even singing now and then – a beautiful voice, if he had to be honest – and when she turned, he noticed a bowl in her hands. The girl froze in her steps, but other than question him or anything, she gave him a onceover, appraising him from tip to toe, an impish grin spreading over her lips, which she bit, her big grey eyes not missing one single spot of him, which had Jason's frown deepen: the girl was how old? 14? And no shame in checking out a guy that was evidently much older. The nerve. He liked it.

"Um ... who are you?" Jason asked bluntly.

She grinned, putting down the bowl, and cheekily made a show of bowing like a real princess, with her flowery dress and all, as she introduced: "Vanessa Hastings, sir." Her big grey eyes lingered on his, twinkliing in mischief. "And who is the gentleman I just made the acquaintance of?" Vanessa liked confusing people, and judging by his deep frown, the hottie was speechless. Good.

"Jason." He murmured.

She bit her lip. Hot name for a hot guy.

"You're Emily's friend, I guess. Where is she?"

Vanessa shrugged. "In her room, doing homework."

"And you have no homework?"

"I was making cookies." She showed the bowl. Jason nodded, and, finally regaining some sense, walked over to the fridge, opening it to grab a beer. "May I get one?" The girl asked, attempting a puppy look that only had his eyebrow arch.

"Sure ... in seven years." She huffed, annoyed, crossing her arms. "How old are you?" Jason asked, sipping his beer as he leaned against the counter, the girl standing against the island.

"21 in a week." He arched an eyebrow at her. She rolled her eyes, mimicking his stance, aside from the beer. "Okay ... I'll be 16 in four months, better?"

He smirked. "Then five years for a beer."

She sent him a dirty look, but he ignored it. The silence they let seep though was only interrupted by his phone ringing, and Vanessa frowned when she realized he was dead set on ignoring it, no matter how many times did it ring.

"Aren't you taking it?" She hinted at the phone in his left jeans pocket. Jason sipped his beer once more, then shook his head. Vanessa cracked a small smirk. "Problems with your lady, huh?" He shrugged. She smirked wider. "What you did? Cheat on her? Ruin her collection of rainbows? Take it from me, just fake a pout and apologize, doesn't matter if you mean it."

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm not taking relationship advice from a child."

She sent him another dirty look – one that would have had bigger men yelp, but Jason didn't even flinch. "I'm not a child, I'm 16."

"Not yet."

She glared, but then shrugged, walking over to the fridge to nonchalantly grab a beer. "Just have a lot of apologetic sex, and she'll forgive you ... that is, if you're good at what you do ..." She hoped her jab would distract him, but he only sent her annoyed look and snatched the beer from her hands, opening it for himself once the other was finished.

"And what do you know about sex? You still reek of breast milk."

Vanessa tsked at him, taking a juice from the fridge instead. "I know more than you do, trust me."

Jason gave her a disbelieving look, though having to admit he liked her attitude, blunt, brave, badass. Hopefully, his sister might learn some courage from this girl, though on condition that she wouldn't lead her down stray paths.

"I know that, whatever a girl says, whatever the character, apologetic sex is always the answer." Vanessa stated, flaunting a knowledge she didn't have. Jason bit his tongue not to ask how many times had her boyfriend tried that route, and if it actually worked – he was still talking to a barely 16-years-old girl, certainly the least counselor he should take advice from.

Although ... she wasn't that wrong, was she? Mmh ... Gwen would hardly let him touch her, imagine sex. Ah, times like this, Jason wished his best friend didn't live that far, Riley always knew what to do in the matters of heart, he surely would know how to solve this puzzle without victims.

Then again, the most he'd been suggesting was to endure, resist, make sacrifices ... one hell of a piece of advice, Jason thought, did he seriously have to be a stupid mat his girlfriend walked on like nothing? For the sake of love? They'd spent two beautiful years together, now Gwen, in these past weeks, had become so restless, so snappy, so annoying ... yet he loved her, damn, he loved her, how could he leave her?

Biting his lips, he sipped his beer, while the teen observed him. "Go watch a movie." He ordered brusquely, irked.

She chuckled, shaking her head. "You've got Emily's nose." She mused.

He frowned, turning to her. "What?"

Vanessa giggled, covering her mouth. "You and your sister, you guys have the same nose. And eyes, though hers are lighter. And the same profile, but more importantly, the same frown."

His brows furrowed in disbelief and confusion, therefore Vanessa explained that there were traits he shared with his sister, she talked slower, mocking him, which had his frown only deepen, much to her amusement, till he just slammed the empty beer onto the counter and, pulling off it, he grumbled something unintelligible under his breath, walking away.

"Oh, come on! I was only kidding, you Twisty Panties!" She rushed, to go stand in front of him, and bit her lip when her hands came in contact with his hard chest. Dayum, was he hot. His eyes followed her arms down to her hands, and his look turned dirty at the contact, but he did nothing to avoid it.

"You're too cranky." She stated.

"And you're too nosy." He grabbed her hands. "And too touchy." He slipped them off him.

She flaunted a pout, crossing her arms in order to show off her cleavage, which her flowery dress allowed as much as she liked, and because his eyes did fall onto that specific spot for a brief moment, she let a small grin slip. "I was only trying to help." Vanessa mused in a condescending and teasing tone.

Jason rolled his eyes, but leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. "Alright, then. Enlighten me, oh Wise One."

She grinned, going to stand in front of him, on the opposite side of the doorframe, once again mimicking his stand, actually liking the way said position enhanced his hotness. The dark and stormy look only added to it. "There's nothing sex can't fix. Just be abrupt and sultry, and she'll forget why was she mad at you. It's mathematical. It works every time."

He gave her a disbelieving look. "It might work for you because you kids only know that part of a relationship, but-"

"It works for everybody. Sex plays a huge role in a relationship."

"Yes, but-"

"No buts. I'm right. Period." Cue the mild glare he sent her, whose response was only an amused giggle as she pulled off the doorframe, moving closer, enough to stand a few inches away from him as she, her voice moderately coaxing, teased: "Unless, of course ... you've got problems in that field ..."

He looked up, deepening his glare. "You sure you're 15?"

She grinned. "Why? Fancy a detour from loyal-land?" Vanessa smoothened her dress, as if to flaunt her gracious and taunting curves, and even though the dirty look arrived, before that there was a tiny moment of appreciation. Jason pulled off the doorframe, grunting a few curses under his breath, then walked away, his ears inevitably perking up at that silvery voice: "Hey, it's not gonna be illegal forever, you know!"

**************

Thinking back, that last phrase applied to them even too much. Jason snaked his arms around her skinny frame. Years ago it sounded crazy and impossible, now it was the sole possible reality. Weird how, she was the one in need of it, yet he got peace from her, from even only spending relaxing moments with her, sitting at the riverbank, enjoying the panorama.

Vanessa let silence seep through as she abandoned herself to his cuddles, God knew how much she needed it, these past weeks had been harsh and complicated, with physiotherapy and sessions with the shrink – she'd have refused, but her mother insisted, even playing the sense of guilt card – that had just started, then the plans to recuperate in school, the efforts at pushing back every thought about that horrible night ... lucky thing her Jay was right beside her, backing her up every time that was needed.

Her mom didn't exactly agree, his neither, but none of them explicitly forbid them to be a couple, sure, Vanessa would always catch the all but content looks her mother sent their way every time she caught them having sweet moments, at first she'd even be a bit of an intruder just not to leave them alone, same went for Jason's mom, but in the end everybody seemed to have accepted their relationship, at least enough not to cause unnecessary drama.

Vanessa planned to have a four eyes talk with her mom, just to reassure her about the nature of this bond, meanwhile she had her twin brother subtly try to persuade the woman that it was good for Vanessa to have an older guy beside her, especially one like Jason, who'd been willing to throw his future out of the window for her and whose only purpose was cherishing and protecting her.

That kinda enhanced Ms. Jacobs' – soon to be Mrs. Thomas, the wedding was due in four months – preoccupations, though: what if he snapped with his girlfriend too? What if prison had changed him for the worst? He'd beaten an 18-years-old boy to a pulp only because of some bruises on Vanessa's tender body, who told them next time his rage wouldn't be directed at the girl herself? She'd been through so much already, another hot-headed boyfriend was the least she needed.

These were deep concerns that Vanessa's mother kept buried within her, also because confessing them to her friend, Sybil Robinson, would be a little offensive, but they were there, and they were the reason for her gaze to be almost always anxious when it landed on the two lovebirds. Then there was the age gap ... honestly, nine years were too many, especially given their age, Vanessa was only 18, Jason was closer to 30 than to 20, that gap was huge now, it would only keep on enlarging, her daughter still had to decide what did she want to do with her life, he'd sent all his plans down the drain and needed to start over ... how could they cope?

What Ms. Jacobs didn't know, was that those same thoughts sometimes crossed Jason's mind as well. He was rash, impulsive, but not stupid, he knew that the age gap between him and Vanessa was pretty big, and while age was just a number, it would be idiotic to ignore future and its challenges.

However ... Vanessa was pretty good at reading her boyfriend's moods, therefore she could tell when did troubling thoughts crossing his mind, and she reacted always in the same way: snaking an arm around him, leaving her head on his shoulder, cuddling to him, and reminding him how much she loved