He keeps sending messages and I keep craving for his presence.

It feels strange. I never felt this way.

Is it really possible to admire someone I don't fully know?

Is it really possible to fall with messages, the sincerity of words and encouragements?

Is it normal to... like some stranger you just met months ago?

Out of impulse I posted some shit.

I-chat mo na lang kaya ako?

The post gain haha and heart and care reacts. People really do have different mindset and reactions.

I am busy replying with their funny and some is sad comments while a notification pop up.

Jayce sent a friend request.

I was about to remove it in my notification bar but then... this careless finger accidentally click the confirm button.

"wow, he is lucky." sabi ko, I rarely accept friend requests

Hindi naman sa feeling famous pero pag friends na ay pwede akong i-chat or tawagan.

Na-trauma na ako dahil biglang may tumatawag na hindi ko kilala, minsan ay may malalaswa namang pinag sesesend sa'kin or inaadd ako sa mga sari-saring gc.

It's troublesome. I had a hard time cleaning my account that time.

To avoid the trouble, I avoid accepting without going through a "stalk before accept" scenery. That's a kind of, self protecting.

If the account didn't met the standards, then the person will stay as a follower.

"Lady." pagbasa ko sa maliit na sulat mula sa chat heads ng messenger na agad ding nawala

Napabalikwas ako sa higaan at agad na umupo ng maayos.

I opened the chat heads, It was Jayce.

He said "Lady" does it mean he is 'that guy?'

I knew it! Zae — my bestfriend can't be the guy on omegle.

Luna Moon is the name I used in Facebook where I post my artworks, comics, picture book.

Luna Moon: Hi

Jayce: I'm Z

Luna Moon: nice, I'm happy to finally meet you!

Jayce: yeah, I'm lucky to meet you.

Luna Moon: nag-dinner kana?

Jayce: yeah

Luna Moon: ah... bakit pala hindi mo ako inadd, you have rp account naman pla?

Jayce: I don't know how to approach you.

Luna Moon: HAHAHHA feel free to chat me, we're friends after all, right?

Jayce: yeah, only friends.

Napapadalas ang pag uusap namin. Kada umaga at gabi yata ay may good morning at good night.

Si kuya nagtataka na sa mga inaasal ko, palagi daw akong nakatutok sa cellphone ko. Nag isip na lang ako ng ibang dahilan para makaiwas sa pang aasar.

Napansin din ni Mads, madalas na daw akong ngumiti kaya ang ganda ko na daw ngayon. Grabe, so dati... panget ako? Duh!

I used to have a chat with him almost everyday. We're talking about random stuffs— may sense or wala.

He said he also loves skies so minsan kahit offline sya ay nagsesend ako ng pictures ng langit na ako mismo ang kumuha.

Luna Moon: I don't know what's the point of sending it, you're my gallery na

Chat ko pagkatapos magsend ng three pictures of a pink sky and a silhouette image of trees. It is indeed beautiful.

Jayce: It's fine, you can send anything here.

He replied at my chat, he also react haha on it and heart for the photos.

Jayce: beautiful like you.

He replied in the first photo. Sobra tuloy ang kilig ko. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba itong nararamdam ko, pero anong magagawa eh sa kinililig ako.

His compliments never failed to give butterflies in my stomach. Even though hindi ako yung tipo ng tao na nadadala sa ganoon.

Back then I am just a girl saying "Cringe" in someone's sweet words. But when he come....

If it is him everything hits different.

I mean pag iba ang nagsabi ay cringe, pero pag sya ay hindi ko maiwasang kiligin.

Hindi kami nakapag usap kahapon dahil busy daw sya.

Jayce: sorry I was late, kinda busy.

Jayce: imissyou.

Again, I smiled crazily. Parang abot tenga!

I should respond, right. I don't have time to play taguan ng true feelings.

Luna Moon: I miss you too, good evening

I'm kinda sweet in chat diba... or siguro... depende lang talaga sa taong kausap ko?

We talk a lot, hindi ko tuloy namalayan na hating gabi na. Pupunta pa naman kami ni Mads sa mall para bumili ng school supplies bukas ng umaga.

Lagot ako pag tinanghali ako ng gising!

Ayaw ko pang magpaalam pero kaylangan na. Para pati matulog nadin si Jayce. Baka kase tinitiis lang nya ang antok dahil bumabawi sa akin.

Hindi naman sa assuming ha, baka lang naman!

Natulog na ako pagkatapos icharge ang cellphone. Nag alarm nadin ako ng limang alarm— 3 minutes ang pag intan. Para sure na magigising. Mahirap na parang baril ng mga action star noong unang panahon pa naman ang bunganga ni Mads, di nauubusan ng bala.

Matagal na naming balak mamili ng gamit, tinamad lang talaga kaya ngayon na lang kung kaylan malapit na talaga.

Habang nag iikot kami sa mall ay kinukulit ako ng kinukulit ni Mads. Inistalk daw nya ang dump account ko.

"love posting ah, inlove kay who?" paulit ulit nyang tinatanong sa'kin kung inlove ba ako

Sinabi ko na ngang bored lang ayaw maniwala. Wala naman ang nagawa. Hindi ko kaya mag secret kay Mads!

"long story short...." kinwento ko sa kanya ang mga nangyari

Tahimik lang syang nakikinig sa'kin habang namimili ng gamit. Paminsan minsan ay napapa "yiiie" sya at "shhh" naman ako dahil baka may makarinig eh pilit ko ngang hinihinaan ang boses ko.

"pumapag-ibig" pang aasar nya

I keep saying happy crush lang at hanggang friends lang talaga kami.

I never imagine being in a relationship with someone— with him....

If I ended up with him... what if we broke up? I don't think we'll still be friends after that, it will look weird.

Scratch that! Erase. Erase. Erase. Kung ano ano na naman ang pumapasok sa isip ko!

Nagulat ako nang bigla akong hinampas aa ulo ng ruler nitong si Mads.

"whaaat?"

"ooverthink ka na naman eh, saan ba umabot pag ooverthink mo sa kasal ba?"

Sa inis ko ay ipinasa ko sa kanya ang basket at sya ang pinagdala ng mga binili namin. Bahala syang mabigatan!

K-kasal? Tangina ni wala nga akong balak mag commit!

Wala sa vocabulary ko ang jowa jowa, magpakasal pa kaya?

Kahit pa si Loid Forger ay dumating sa tapat ng bahay para ayain akong maging asawa nya— t-teka baka pumayag pa'ko HAHAHHAA.

Loid Forger, Twilight. He is a spy from Spy X Family na anime. Gosh!! I'm so inlove with him!! Cool!

Mabalik tayo sa usapan, there's no way we can be together. I don't know him at all.

His full name, address, parents, and other basic stuffs you should know about a person.

He is kinda secretive. I once ask where he lived. Kahit province lang sana, gusto ko malaman.

Luna Moon: Pa LBC ko ba, Where do you live?

We're joking around.

Jayce: Secret, baka puntahan mo'ko.

He said, as if I will travel just to see you ha! Taas ng confidence ng lalaking 'to.

Luna Moon: hindi nga, saan nga?

Jayce: Mars.

I didn't repeat that question anymore, seems like I'm not that important for him to say that information.

I don't force. If they want to tell you something, if they want you to know them they will do it voluntarily.

Mysterious, like it.

Tapos na kaming mamili at nagmemeryenda na dito sa Dunkin Donuts. Bigla nag crave si Mads sa donuts eh.

"ihh I don't like that strawberry flavor" sabi ko dahil pilit ni Mads nilalapit sa bibig at pinapakain sakin yung sa kanya

Inaasar nya'ko, alam naman nyang miski sa Rebisco ayaw ko ng strawberry flavor.

Tuwang tuwa naman sya nang makuha ang satisfaction dahil nainis nya'ko. Nauto pa na ako ang magbayad.

Feeling ko sa'kin nya binabawi ang mga nagastos nya panlilibre sa kuya ko.

Hmp!

After the shopping for school supplies nag laba naman ako ng uniforms. The other day pinlantsa ko naman ito.

Kahit malapit na ang pasukan hindi padin mawawala ang habit kong pagd-drawing sa kalagitnaan ng gabi.

I don't know if it's a coincidence but Jayce is always online around 12-1 AM.

He is always asking me to sleep!

Jayce: sleep.

Luna Moon: una kana, may ginagawa pa ako

Napasarap ang pakikipagkwentuhan ko sa kanya kaya tinigil ko na ang ginagawa tapos humiga sa kama at doob nag cellphone.

Jayce: think of a name, I want to change my name.

Luna Moon: bakit sino kaba? jk

Jayce: Jayce mo.

Luna Moon: akin?

Jayce: gusto mo ba.

Natawa ako sa chat nya, ni hindi question mark ang inilagay. Feeling ko tuloy gusto nyang sakin sya. Feelingera.

Naisipan ko na naman ang mang inis. Ang cool nya mainis, satisfying!

Luna Moon: gusto. Can I sell you?

Jayce: if you want to.

HAHHAHAHA there's no way I will allow someone to have you

Luna Moon: sheeesh, no.

he reacted at my reply, pinagtatawan ako or masaya lang talaga sa'kin?

Jayce: ikaw nagsabi.

Luna Moon: tsk, pagbibili na nga kita

Jayce: binabawi ko na.
Jayce: Not yours.

Didn't I plan to irritate him? Bakit ako ata ang mas naiinis.

Jayce: Why would you even sell me?
Jayce: I give myself free to you.

Ang inis na ekspresyon sa aking mukha ay agad na napalitan ng masayang ngiti.

Luna Moon: you're mine.

Binasa ko ulit ang reply ko at feeling ko ay ang landi landi ko kaya nagchat ulit ako.

Luna Moon: akin ka muna daw, tsaka na lang ibibigay pag may nagustuhan kana

I even ask if there's some girlfriend material, beautiful, ideal girl around him that he might like.

Jayce: ew. I don't do girlfriends.

Luna Moon: maybe boyfriends

Jayce: wtf Luna.

Luna Moon: HAHHAHA jk lang. Ako na lang

Jayce: edi ikaw.

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba'ko or hindi dahil baka napipilitan lang sya at walang choice HAHHAHA.

Jayce: Let's be alone together.

Pumasok tuloy sa isip ko ang kantang This Side of Paradise.

Ang mga araw na kausap ko sya ay ang mga araw na masaya talaga ako.

Hindi ko alam ang title dahil narinig ko lang ito basta, Sayo ko lang 'to naramdaman~

Nang bumisita si Mads ay nakarinig na naman ako ng pang aasar.

Pagkatapos nya akong asarin agang-aga ay nakuha pa nyang itanong kung pwede daw ba akong magluto ng pancake. Makapal!

Narinig kong kumonek sya sa speaker at nagplay ng music.

The Only Exception by Paramore.

"relate ka dito Zaralyn Wei!" sigaw nya mula sa living room, napabuntong hininga na lang ako

Wala na, malalaman na siguro ni kuya at Zae na mayroon na akong crush.

Wala na, hindi na ako astig.

Dapat talaga ay hindi ko ikinekwento sa kaybigan, mamaya matapos agad yung kilig. Kawawa naman ako.

You are the only exception.

You are the only exception.

You are the only exception.

He is really the only exception.

I have standard for everyone and everything except for him.

I don't easily get butterflies, don't easily get blushed because of guys except him.

I never flirt with someone like how I did to him...

I never get excited to go online but when I saw his name in the notification bar— I would even dry my hands if I'm doing the dishes just to reply.

When I realised that... I think...

I'm in a big trouble.

Falling in love, loving someone— requires commitment and a hundred percent trust to that person.

I only met him on the Internet. I don't even know how he looked like.

Naiirita na nga ako sa kaka overthink dumagdag pa itong kaybigan ko.

"what if panget sya noh?" nagtungo na lang akp sa living room at pinaltan ng Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo yung kanta.

Nakipag asaran ako sa kanya pero nang umalis sya dahil tinawag ni kuya ay naalala ko ulit ang worries ko kanina.

Pero okay lang... Happy crush lang naman.