"Hey guys!" I wave over to them, I'm sitting on a hill with a book in my lap. It looks like Alphonse and Edward just came back from something, but Ed had his arm and Al had his body, well, what I think it could look like. He was tall, taller then Ed, he had his blonde hair to the side neatly and was wearing casual clothes. His eyes where a bit lighter than Ed's, but sparkled. I walked up to him, and pecked him on the lips, smiling as I walked with him to the house.

"Dinner!" Winry shouted, as Den came outside to get to us.

We went inside, I went to pick up my spoon with my hand, which I found out both where real, before I see blood covering them. I look back and see my once automail arm fall off, and it felt like the world spiraling around me.

I start falling, I don't know where to, and what from, but I brace for impact. But it never came, I was standing in a white feild, the world was grey, the sun was a bright grey and the blue shy was a darker shade of grey.

I look back down at my hands, still covered with blood, and look up to see Maes standing in front of me, a wound in his chest, and shoulder. I reach to him, and he turns away, from behind me, Nicole starts walking to him, followed by Nina and Alexander. I blink, and they're gone.

I look around for them, or at least someone, and see Ed, Al, and someone else walking away from me, I see them kiss Al on the cheek. I run over to them, but I go through them. I see my dad to my right, and run to him, to see I'm invisible to him as well. I sit in the field, as others talk and laugh around me, what does this mean?

I wake up in bed, my head throbbing, and look around the room. I look and see my bloody, navy blue military uniform hanging in front of me, taunting me. I look at my hands, expecting to see blood, but they're clean. My arm is wrapped in a bandage, and my other arm is off, including my leg.

I hear the door click open, to see Winry.

"My.... my automail..." she looks at my arm and my leg, then to me, which I have blood spots all over me. I look down at my lap, as she hits me over the head with her wrench, which didn't even hurt anymore.

"What did you do?..." She looks at me, like she's about to kill me. I see her look over to the uniform and gasp. "(Y/N)...."

"I couldn't protect them, ok?" I say, anger sprinkled in my voice.

"Protect... who?.."

"Nicole and Maes....." I bit my lip as my head sank lower, trying to keep my tears in.

"He died... in my arms." I feel my voice chocking as I almost start to cry.

"No..... you're lying!" She shouted.

I feel a bubble boil inside of me. "Why would I be lying. I saw the light drain his eyes, he looked at a picture of his family.... he loved them... so god damn much. That's why he always bragged about them... he didn't know how long he had.." I bite my lip harder, trying to keep it all in.

Winry started crying, tears running down her cheeks as she hugged me. I grit my teeth, staying strong for her. I hear the door open soon after, it's Mustang.

"I need to talk to (Y/N)." He said, as Winry walked out of the room, hiding her face.

"What happened to him?" He said, his voice in anger.

"W-When I got to him, his shoulder was bleeding, and someone was pointing a gun at him, it looked like Gracia. It was inhuman. I tackled it to the ground, and it turned into Nicole, I shot it in the head, and helped Maes back... before I knew it, he was shot in the chest." I avoid eye contact with him, looking down at my lap, and at my one automail leg.

"I couldn't get to it after he passed, it ripped off my leg and arm, and shot me in the elbow, then I went unconscious." I look him in the eye. "That's what happened."

He nods and walks out of the room. Winry walks back in, her tool box in hand and fixes my arm, adjusts my legs in a matter of about 4 hours, and puts them back on. Compared to my back surgery, it felt like nothing.

"Wow. You didn't flinch. How come?" She said, as I tested my automail.

"I had to fix my back myself, which was probably the third most horrible pain I've felt." I lift up the back of my shirt, to reveal a scar from my neck down to my tailbone. "Where's Ed and Al?"

"I think they where.... well, I actually don't know. Why?"

"Just wondering." I look down at my real arm, covered in new scars and a bandage, then at my automail arm and sigh a bit. "You should head back to Rush Valley." I say, looking at the room.

"Ok...but I have a question."

"Go for it."

"Well... Ed called me and he was getting pretty worried about me.... and you seem like it too... why's that?"

"There's something bigger going on, and I'm starting to worry about everyone... Chloe... You... My father... Ed and Al... they're who I have left... and I'll risk my life to protect them."

I clench my automail hand, and stand up, then reach for my coat, before realizing the blood. Maes's blood. I look down at my gown. "Do you have some extra clothes?" I asked, as she tossed me a skirt and tank top.

She walked out of the room, as I looked down at the clothes. How can she wear this? It's so short, and it reveals all of my automail. Unless I want to wear that. I glance back at the jacket, that's now in a bag with my pants.

"Tell them.... I love both of them.... and tell Elicia... that daddy loves.... her."

I still have to tell them, Elicia's to little, she wouldn't understand. Gracia is going to hate me, I couldn't even save the one she loved, she's now on her own. Does she even know yet? I'm guessing yes.

I change into my clothes as I hear a knock on the door, I open it and they start bursting out laughing.

"I didn't think I'd see you in a mini skirt!" My dad holds his stomach laughing, then almost starts crying.

"Shut up. I had to borrow it, my clothes are at Mae-" I stop myself mid sentence, feeling like something in me is going to explode, I gulp and finish my sentence. "My clothes are at the Hughes house."

My dad widens his eyes. "You and you're friend can stay at my house for a while, if you need to." He looks back at Winry, then at me. "I can start up my laundry machine when we get there, too."

I nods at him. "Thank you." We walk out, then drive into the car.

Time Skip.

My dad had three rooms in his apartment, so Winry and I got to have separate rooms, which was good cause I could hear her crying though the paper thin walls all night. I borrowed an old t shirt that my dad had and got some shorts.

We ate dinner, barely talking. I noticed Winrys red eyes, but didn't say anything. I soon went back into the room. I folded my clothes up, and put them next to my bed.

"This will be your new uniform." Mustang said, tossing it over to me while I was in my hospital bed. "Treat it well, you'll keep it until you grow out of it... which doesn't look like any time soon." He said, smirking.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm short?" I said, looking at the star on the uniform.

"Yes. Yes it is." He walked out of the room, as I looked into the top and remembered that this is my new life.

I stare up at the ceiling for a bit, just thinking, and absorbing everything around me. I look over at my gun, next to my uniform, for some reason, I don't feel safe around it anymore.

You failure.

You could never save him.

He had a family. They hate you now.

You're worthless. Why are you still alive.

You should die.

I felt my head cloud, why am I thinking this? Is this a nightmare? This can't be real, right? I can't die, he told me there's people who care about me.

No one cares.

They never came to see you. They never where concerned about you, they just felt bad.

He never cared.

He never loved you.

You are not enough for him, you've never been.

You're not good enough for anyone.

I force my self away from my nightstand, but my head keeps clouding, I can't feel anything.

My heart is racing.
I crawl over to my nightstand.

Useless.

I reach over

Die.

And grab the gun in my shaking hands.

They don't care.

Hold it to my head. Put my automail finger on the trigger.

"I wonder why Winry's in Central?" Brother questioned, looking out the window.

"Maybe it's someone else, what if it's (Y/N)?" I said, feeling a sense of joy to see her again.

"It could be. You could finally ask her." He smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I guess I could. We haven't been there in a while." I hear snoring as I look down and se Ed leaning against the window and sleeps. This feels lonely. I usually have someone to talk to know, or joke with. I wonder how (Y/N)'s doing? Is she even in Central? Is she better?

I look around the empty train cart thinking about her, all the moments we've spent together, but we've only known each other for... almost a year now. So how can I miss her so much?

I guess it's what love is. If she is there, I guess I'll try to ask her...

If she'll go on a date with me.