...left me to think on another sleepless night. Not because I was worried about Hedan, but of guilt. I hope Cassie was safe after I left.
I sat up and wondered over to my mirror propped against my wall. The face looking back at me was unfamiliar to me, withered by exhaustion and stress. This whole thing... I keep thinking about Cassie but what about me? The guilt in my conscience was growing weaker day by day. Cassie has always been one to take the innocent side, the pretty, careless, sweet, positive side. It's fine, I love that about her, but it also makes her so weak, unable to defend herself. At some point it seems I stopped being her friend and became her body guard.
I haven't been able to be weak in so long.
I sighed and turned away from the hallow version of me in the mirror.
It's shower time. I creaked over to the hallway and into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly. I clicked on the dim yellow light and turned on the shower.
The smell of soap and the heavy steam in the shower brings me a sense of security nothing else can bring. I striped down and entered the shower. Warm water pattered on my body rhythmically as I breathed in the familiar scent of my shampoo. The small glass rectangle is my one isle of freedom. I stared up at the spout and watched the warm steam float to the roof. I massaged the soap into my hair.
I heard a thump outside my shower door. My body froze and I turned to look I saw a flash of a dark shape before soap suds dripped into my eyes.
"Fuck!" I buckled over and rubbed my eyes, making it worse. My forced my eyes open into the water and let it wash out the pain. With my vision blurry, I turned off the faucet and staggered out of the shower, padding the wall for my towel. I bent over my sink and splashed cold water in my face repeatedly untill the burning stopped. I blinked my eyes open and my vision wobbled back into view, a couple spots still blurry. I came face to face with a handprint plasters on my fogged mirror. I stared at it in horror. My hand was wet and due to my fumbling it could very well be my own. But... I held my hand up to the other hand print hesitantly, shakily pressed it onto the glass and pulled away, leaving my own print next to it. I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture. The difference was astronomical. I lowered my phone and stared.  The fingers were longer, not to mention the wideness of the palm. My eyes teared up from shampoo and frustration.
This has got to end.
After another sleepless night I raised from my bed a zombie. My body was finally catching up to my mental exhaustion. My feet seemed to not be touching the floor anymore, my head seemed unattached to my neck, but at the same time, I was so very heavy.
I began getting ready, unbuttoning my pajamas and just dreading the oncoming storm. I stopped and raised my head slowly. The more time passed the more my hands kept moving, slowly buttoning up the pajamas and slowly crawling back into bed. What's so bad about missing one day? Just one day off. To be able to sleep all of this away.
I heard a light to rough pattering begin to pound on my window. Rain, perfect. The gray light dimly lighting up my room lulled me into a haze, dancing on the cusp of sleep and wake. Hedan, Cassie, all of that world would be out there, but me wrapped in my sheets, my phone strewn to the side and my not the sound of cars in the distance and rain falling outside, that's all this world. I felt invincible for a moment, just a moment, before I caved in and passed out, the grey light still filtering through my eyelids.
I was so tired my dreams were non existent. I relished in the blandness of my life, away from the hustle and bustle of school. I woke up softly, rain still falling outside, the light darker than before. I groggily reached out to get my phone to see the time. 3 pm. I looked further down to see texts from Cassie and 13 missed calls. My heart dropped as I opened the notification.

"Where r u?"
"Are you coming to school today?"
"Hellloooo?"
"Hedan is here where r uu?"
"Dude you need to get over here asap!"
"Please come"
"Why didn't you show up??? I've been having to deal with Hedan all day, you know how he is..."
"I can't do it without youuuuu ))):"
"Hello???"
It kept going on and on and I just looked down, exhausted. I sat my phone back down and tried to pretend that that shit storm wasn't waiting for me out there.
Ding dong!
My doorbell went off and my eyes shot open. I botled out of bed and peeked my head out of the door.
Who in the FUCK?
I stumbled across my small kitchen and timidly opened the door. To my surprise, Kita welcomed me with a smile.
"Kita?" I said, flabbergasted.
"Hiya! You didn't show up to class today, so I thought I would come check up on you!" His blonde hair sprinkled light rain drops onto his cheeks.
"How do you even know where I live?"
"Oh, I just asked around. You look pretty exhausted."
I looked down at my button up felt pj shirt and fish patterned sleep shorts. I must look like hell sunny side up. I nodded my head blankly.
"Have you eaten today?" He asked casually. His words brought on a wave of hunger that I didn't realize I had till now.
"No, actually." I blinked at him.
"How about we get some lunch, on me!"
"Oh, I couldn't possibly-" I said, flustered. He put a hand on my shoulder.
"It's fine, don't worry about it."
I sighed and motioned him in.
"I'm so sorry it's messy, I'll get dressed in just a sec. You can watch some TV if you would like." I swung my head around, desperately trying to find the remote. I hadn't had a person visit me before other than family. I was panicking.
"It's under that blanket over there!" He pointed to the couch. I lifted it up to see the remote, I sighed in relief.
"How did you even manage to see that?" We laughed and I went to the bedroom to change.