He sat on the edge of his bed. That dream still running through his mind. The only thing that broke him from his trance was his phone, vibrating against his nightstand.

He took a look and saw 7 missed calls, 3 texts. All from their handler.

He was being asked if he could come by the office. There was something they needed to talk about. The following text said that Nadine was already there. And finally, the last one said that a video of him came out. It was him and the girl in the bar.

I've already caused so much trouble.

So he texted back, saying he won't be able to make it. But he will be there the next day to talk about what was going to happen.

He wasn't going anywhere near her now. He's done too much.

Frustrated, he grabbed his keys and got dressed.

He drove. He had no idea where he was going. Giving up on trying to distract himself, he thought of going back home, but his phone rang. This time it was Sam.

"Yeah.." he answered.

"Bro.. I was planning to go get something to drink. Are you free tonight?"

"Sam, I don't think I should really be out with anymore girls right now.."

"No, no.. bro, it's just you and me. Just two dudes, grabbing a beer. What do you say?"

Fine, I need to get my mind of things anyways.

"Alright, I'll meet you there in an hour, I'm coming from home pa kasi.."

"Awesome.."

If his conscience could talk. If only. It'd be saying, you're in the middle of an issue that involved your night life and now you're going out again?

Who can blame him though. If you were under all this pressure, under constant eye of everyone, waiting for you to trip. If you were under the expectation of living other people's idea of your life. A release like a night like this isn't even enough to make him forget.

That's what's pushing him towards the bar tonight. To forget.

When he got there, there were too many people. Definitely more than just two dudes having a beer. Sam was surrounded by atleast 20 people. Most of them James knew. They were almost the same crowd he was with the other day.

"Sam, what the hell man? I thought you said just you and me?"

"Yeah dude, I know but, you sounded so sad on the phone, I didn't want it to be the two of us drinking in sadness.. isn't this much better though? At least now we don't have to think of our problems!"

"No, man...this wasn't what I had in mind on my way here-"

"I even asked Rhea to be here... you two really hit it off the other day!"

As if it couldn't get any worse. His conscience was right. If there was any place he shouldn't be right now, it's here.

I should be with Nadine. I should've gone to her.

"Dude, no. Big mistake. I'm leaving..."

He started to walk away, but a familiar voice called out to him, following him outside.

"James, come on, stay..."

"Sorry, Rhea... I'm sure you're a nice person. But this is the last place I want to be right now. You're the last person I want to be seen with right now. I'm sorry."

He didn't wait for her to respond. He quickly got in the car and drove off. He should've stayed home.

Back at the office. Nadine was fuming. She didn't know what to think of it.

James. Spotted again. Not just a picture this time. A video. He was sitting, closely to a girl, in the middle of a bar. In front of him was atleast 20 bottles and glasses of who knows what kind of drinks.

This is what he meant by he cared? This is what he meant when he said he wasn't ready to share?

This is what he meant when he said he didn't want anything to change?

What a liar.

"Nadine, ayaw talaga sumagot e..." their handler said after trying another call.

"Okay lang. I know his answer naman e. Hindi na bago 'to.."

She could feel her eyes getting warm, her tears forming by the edges. Opening instagram, she tried to distract herself. Only to find a dozen notifications from people who tagged her to a blurry picture.

It seemed to be James, standing outside of yet another bar. Talking to the same girl that was shown in the video. When she saw the time mark, it was less than 15 minutes ago.

So that's it. I guess. This is him showing he cares.

"Nadine.. ano bang gusto mong gawin natin, how are we going to explain this?"

"Yung solo project po ba, is it still being offered?" she asked, suprising their handler of the sudden change of topic.

"Ahh... yeah... oo, ino-offer pa naman. Kailangan mo lang maglook test muna. Just to make sure. Then straight to story-con na tayo... Bakit mo nga pala naitanong? Akala ko ba nagaalanganin ka pa?"

"Hindi na po... Kukunin ko na po.."

"Nadine, iha, kung dahil ito sa issue, sana naman wag kang padalos-dalos sa pagdedecision mo. Maaayos pa naman natin 'to e.."

"Hindi na po. It's decided. Kukunin ko na po."

"Are you not going to ask James, at least let him know?"

Nadine stood up, afraid that she would no longer be able to hold back her tears. With one last deep breath she answered. "No. He clearly doesn't care."

She left the office, walking as fast as she can back to the parking lot. She just wanted to go home. In her determination to get to her car quickly she didn't hear Yassi calling her.

She had to stop Nadine by holding her shoulder. "Nads... hey..." 

When Nadine turned around it was the last of her control. Her tears broke loose. Pouring down her face.

"Oh my god... what happened?" Yassi asked, panicking as she saw Nadine's state.

The best she could do was shake her head and mutter out, "...not here..."

So the two girls went to the parking lot down in the basement. Yassi sat with her until she barely sobbed.

"Nads.. what happened ba?"

"It's James..."

She told Yassi everything. Thankful that finally she could let it all out. She didn't know what she would've done if she'd had to drive home alone, crying, with all these thoughts in her head.

"Are you really sure of you decision, Nads? Maybe you're making a rash decision.."

Nadine shook her head as she wiped her tears. "No... Its final. I'm so done, Yassi... He.. I don't know what to do. Grabe, hindi ko alam how he's going to take it.."

"You make a decision without letting him know, you cry because he hurts you, pero grabe ah, you're still worried about him?"

Natigilan si Nadine sa nasabi ng kaibigan niya. Totoo naman kasi.

No matter what he says. What he does. He's still on her mind, in her system, even when she's decided to not be in his life anymore.

"Hindi. Hindi na mangyayari ulit 'yon. Kailangan matapos na 'to. Ayaw ko ng masaktan. Tama na.." Talking to herself more than she was talking to Yassi.

And that was certainly the last time she cried over an issue. After signing her solo project, they were both informed that their project together would end in 3 weeks or more.

Despite their efforts to act like nothing happened, the people around them knew something was going on. They weren't the same.

Nadine would keep herself busy, plugging in her earphones whenever they were waiting in the tent. And if she wasn't listening to music, Bret was there, keeping her company. Giving her an excuse not to talk to James.

People would notice how she tried not to get too attached anymore. Of course she still showed concern. But not as much as she did before, yung kulang nalang mag-asawa na sila sa pagaalala sa isa't-isa? Wala na.

Whenever Nadine would keep to herself, James just stared at the place she was at last. The space next to him where she sat during a shoot or at his hand that Nadine held while they were in the middle of filming, because they had to. He just lingered at the places she had been.

It was one of those taping nights again, but something's changed in the air.

Bret gathered all of his confidence and courage to finally ask her. He went up to her as they were preparing for the next sequence. And before Nadine could ask what was going on, he started to talk..

"Nadine... I've been.. doing this, for the past month or so, reminding you how I feel. It hasn't changed until this day. I admit, I was hesitant, because you even said you didn't want a relationship, so imagine my surprise-"

"You are such a nervous mess.. just ask already.."

"Be my girlfriend, please?" he took his hand in hers, feeling how warm they were.

"Tagal mo ah..." she smiled. "Oo, Bret. Yes.."

He sighed in relief, pulling her into a hug after hearing her answer.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, pumping his fist up in the air, his voice loud enough to let everyone know.

She was giggling at this guy, this guy who's now her boyfriend. Boyfriend. I can't believe I have someone to call that now. Someone that special.

"You won't regret it, Nads.. I promise.." he held her chin and planted a kiss on her forehead. "I'm so happy.. Finally..."

She looked into his eyes, happiness was overflowing from the inside. There wasn't anything in the world that could dull the emotions he was feeling now. But for some reason, Nadine felt that her happiness wasn't as big as she thought it would be. It wasn't as overflowing as Bret's.

She quickly erased that thought. Nadine, ano ba. Eto siya. Si Bret, handang-handa na magmahal ng sobra-sobra para sayo. Kung ano-ano pang iniisip mo.

"I love you.." he whispered as he embraced her one more time.

"I love you too.."

James was in the tent, his eyes closed but he could barely catch any sleep. From outside the tent he could hear faint applause and a few excited exclamations.

He heard a few footsteps passing outside the tent. It was one of the crew.

"Ay nako, salamat naman at nasagot narin yung binatang yun.. napakatagal niyang nagtiyaga.."

"Oo nga... alam mo, masaya ako para diyan kay Nadine... mabait na bata, deserving lang siya ng taong magmamahal sakanya.. kahit sino pa man yan.."

A huge part of him wanted to jump up and run to Bret and Nadine, get down on his knees and beg Nadine to take it back. Take him back.

But a small part of him also wanted to run away. He wanted to punch a tree. He wanted to cry. He wanted to melt into his folding chair.

Luckily, he was being called. It was time for another take.

But before he could leave the tent, they entered. Hand in hand, Bret's smile reaching the heavens.

"Bro.." he started, greeting James as he was on his way out.

"Yeah. I heard. Congratulations."

It took everything within him to walk forward. Leaving the two behind, followed by Barbie and Jelly. A few steps away, he could hear their excitement.

"Naku, Nads... ayan ha, di mo na kailangan umuwi ng magisa palagi, tsaka magdala ng gamit, may boyfriend ka na!"

"Oo nga... nakakatuwa naman..."

He then heard Bret's voice chime in. "They're right you know, from now on... I'll always be here. Ako na ang tagadala, tagasundo, tagahatid.. at most of all, I'm the one who's going to love you the most.."

It was the final week of their taping. Nadine didn't have work until the evening, so she decided to de-stress. Of course, her ever supportive boyfriend was there too.

"Bret alam mo, try mo lang kasi.. I promise, it's not that hard!"  she said, handing him another controller so that he could join the game she was playing.

"Babe, how many times do I have to tell you? I really don't want to.."

"Sige na please? How can you not like video games?"

"I just don't okay?" he said, smiling but getting slightly annoyed.

"How though? All your friends play this game! Si James nga-"

She suddenly stopped after realizing she hasn't said his name in quite a while. And now that she did, she was using it to compare...

"Nadine.. babe? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." she said, slowly getting her mind back from wandering.

"You're clearly not. I've clearly upset you... Sorry na, I just really don't like it.."

She looked at Bret. He's made her happy. He's loved her. And she couldn't be more thankful.

But somehow she was still empty.

"No, no.. I'm not. Let's just do something else... You wanna bake nalang?" she asked, desperate to get her mind off the things she'd been thinking.

"Uhmm.. okay? But can we not bake cookies? I'm kinda getting sawa na.."

"Talaga? I didn't know that was possible... Something you love, nagsawa ka?"

They walked to her kitchen, assembling the measuring cups and spoons.

"Well.. see, you can love alot of things. But if it's not the right kind, it can get tiring easily, especially because it's not the right kind for you, so you think you're filling yourself up, but the truth is, you're not, you just want to think that..."

Nadine stopped as she was turning her recipe book. She looked at Bret who was not putting out a bag of flour.

"What do you mean?" she asked, getting too fixed on what he just said.

"Ikaw talaga, you're putting too much thought on what I just said. I simply meant, cookies aren't really my ultimate favorite. So kahit gusto ko siya, it's easy to get tired of it... What I really love are cupcakes, red velvet ones.."

See? He didn't mean anything by it. Nag-iimagine ka lang..

"I've made them before... and since, you've been baking alot, I think it's time we level up on your baking skills.."

"Level up? Does that mean, it's hard?"

Her eyes squinted, teasing her boyfriend a bit. "Yeah. Super."  She laughed when she saw his reaction. "Not really! Joke lang.. eto talaga.. sige na measure the dry ingredients na."

After she measured her  wet ingredients, they then mixed it together. But as Nadine was mixing, she noticed something wrong.

There were clumps of the dry ingredients in the mixture.

"Bret.. did you sift the dry stuff?"

"Uh.. no, they're really refined naman, so I didn't have to-"

"No! You should have! Kaya pala ganito 'to e! Tsk.."

She stared at the mixture, knowing that it wasn't going to be as delicious as the ones she did before.

"I'm pretty sure it won't make that much of a difference, babe-"

"Yes it will. When me and James baked this, he was very precise in making sure the dry stuff was sifted!" Her tone slightly rising.

"Well, you're not baking with James! He's not here is he? He's not the one here with you!"

Bret stepped away from her, frustrated because he doesn't know what she wants to happen. He looked at her, trying to figure out what was happening.

All that was repeating in her head was 'he's not here'. But she wanted him there. Not Bret. At that moment. She wanted James.