I'm currently working on chapter eighty-one and I think it's the final chapter! It's really coming to an end ๐ญ๐ญ
I hope you all enjoy these last few chapters. But the good news is, there will be a sequel!!! :)
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He's sitting there. I was right, he's there.
I walk up to him and sit down next to him without a word. Pulling my legs up and looking at the water, I sit comfortably. I don't look at Fabio and I don't say a word. Maybe he doesn't want me here, I don't really know.
"How did you know I was here?", Fabio asks after a few minutes of silence.
"I didn't.. I thought you were sleeping. But Tom called and couldn't find you", I say softly.
"Did you tell him about this?"
I shake my head, "No, I just came here"
"I was awake when you left and the room felt suffocating alone, so I came here. I hoped it would relax me, but it doesn't..", he mumbles. His voice is soft, but loud enough for me to hear.
I stay quiet for a few minutes, not really knowing what to say.
"I told everyone I've got nothing to lose. And I mean I'm not winning right now, so that's true. But.. I'm still champion and I want to continue that", Fabio opens up.
"You are the current world champion and you want to stay that.. I understand. But you're doing everything in your power. What more can you wish for?", I try to console him.
"Maybe you're right. But right now I don't feel like I'm giving my everything. I slept terrible and I feel like I'm an old man. I'm stiff.."
"You're talking to the right girl. Why don't we go back and get to the track early? I can relax all those muscles and get you in the right headspace for FP1", I say, rubbing his shoulder.
I expected a cheeky comeback, but instead he only gives me a short nod. He's really out of it.
*hey, I found him. We're on our way back to the hotel. Can you drive us to the track from there? Fabio's going in early to get a treatment at clinica mobile*
I send a text to Tom, when we walk back. He doesn't reply, but he's waiting for us in the room when we arrive.
"Hey", he greets, not saying anything else. And I'm grateful he's not asking questions right now.
"I'll get my things. Fabio, do you need anything? Or do you have everything at the track?", I ask, putting my hand on his forearm, getting his attention.
"Just my earpods and some clothes", he says and I nod, heading into our room to pack him a bag with clothes and get his earpods off the nightstand. I get my own bag and walk back to them.
They both didn't move a centimetre,ย standing exactly like I left them. But I can tell Tom wants to say things, ask things, but he doesn't.ย
We make our way towards the car and Tom drives us towards the track. Their favourite French rap music is blasting out of the speakers.
I hear Fabio sometimes rapping the lyrics softly, but not like he usually would.
When we arrive, Fabio and I immediately go to the clinica mobile. It's still quiet in there, which is a good thing.
"Here, just lay down and listen to your music. I'll work on your muscles", I tell him, giving him his earphones.
He looks a little hesitant at me, before nodding.
We are there for almost an hour, Fabio laying down, listening to music, me massaging him. I treat every muscle and make sure all of the stress is gone, before taping his shoulder and getting his attention.
"You can put your clothes back on. I have to grab something, but I'll be right back", I softly tell him, before leaving the room.
In the clinica mobile, there's a small therapy room. We can do exercises and training if we have to. No one really has time to use it, but I know we have boxing equipment there. It's perfect for Fabio right now. I take the big bag from the room and make my way back to Fabio.
Fabio's dressed and looking at his phone when I get back. He's frowning.
"What's up?", I ask, standing next to him, looking at his phone. He's looking at some comments on Instagram saying who's gonna win the championship.
I gently take the phone out of his hands and he looks up confused.
"What's that?", he asks, looking at the bag.
"Come. I'll show you at the unit", I say, taking his hand.
We walk towards the unit hand in hand.
"Are you feeling better?", Tom asks as soon as we step in.
"Yeah, my body feels relaxed. Thank you", he says to me, kissing my forehead.
"We're not quite done yet", I tell him, opening the bag. Inside are boxing gloves and pads.
"You are gonna let go off all the frustration and get into the right mindset. Tom will you help? He will go soft on me", I ask smiling.
"But you just relaxed my muscles?"
I nod, "yeah and now you will get the right amount of tension for free practice"
Fabio starts grinning immediately, "this is why I love you"
The boxing really got Fabio in the right headspace and he was ready for this weekend. Although it wasn't an easy weekend. The whole weekend he was stuck around the 7th place and eventually he qualified as 12th.
We did a second round of boxing on Saturday night and I gave him a long relaxing massage. I tried to initiate sex twice, but he shut me down, saying his mind was elsewhere.
Luckily the massage relaxed him enough to fall asleep and because he was already on the bed, I let him sleep.
I spend most of my night on the sofa. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to disturb Fabio. I kept thinking.. and I know I shouldn't think about how he turned me down or how he turned sex down. But I did. I know it was probably because of the stress from the race weekend. But what if it's something else?
Maybe he only wants the rough sex from now on. Or maybe he decided that there are better girls to have sex with. Maybe he thinks I'm not sexy enough anymore, I'm a few kilos heavier because of those injections.
I decided I should start running again .. and eat less to get rid of those..
The morning before the race is a little nerve-wracking. Fabio is completely in his own bubble and that's good. Tom takes him to the circuit for his warmup and I don't wan't to disturb. I eventually walk towards the circuit and arrive just after the practice. We watch the races together and the day flies by.
We do our little ritual and I'm more nervous than ever. Tom rushes off towards the grid and I'm alone in the pitbox for a few minutes. Lin is on the grid and a few mechanics are getting a quick break before the start.
I sit down on the chair next to Fabio's and try to compose myself. I know Fabio will be back here in a few minutes to relax before the race start. I have my head in my hands, controlling my breathing when I hear footsteps. Fabio and Tom walk in together, I quickly stand up before they see me. Atleast I think, but Tom gives me a small nod to sit back down.
"I will be careful", Fabio says softly when he sit next to me. It's soft enough for my ears only.
"I know. I'm just nervous, I don't know why it's different than normal", I try to explain myself.
"No need to be. It's all out of my hands. I'm just gonna do my best", he says, referring to the championship. "We could quickly go back to the unit, if that helps", he whispers suggestively.
"Oh.. Ehm.. N-no", I stammer. I look down immediately and I know my hand is shaking. Which I try really hard to stop. When Fabio puts his hand on my leg, I involuntarily jerk away.
He looks at me for a few seconds before nodding and putting his earphones back in. Conversation ended. I hope I didn't ruin his race now.
I stand up and gesture for Tom to take the seat. The mechanics start coming back inside and I slip out through the back-door, luckily the fans who were standing here left because they know Fabio isn't coming back here till after the race. So I slide down the wall, sitting down next to the door. Tears silently make their way down my face. Just when I think I'm alone, a shadow appears and when I look up it's Tony. Always when I'm crying, he's the one I run into.
"Hey, what's going on?", he asks crouching down.
"I.. I just need a-a few minutes", I get out.
"I'll be right back, okay?", Tony says softly, before walking inside.
I wipe away the tears and try to compose myself, but I can't. The tears keep streaming, but why? Is it because of the nerves? Because of the whole sex thing? Because I ruined his race?
I really don't know. I wish I knew, so I could stop.
"So.. talk to me", Tony says, sitting down next to me.
I just shrug, not saying a word. Tony doesn't push it, he just sits next to. What do I tell him? I don't even know what's going on myself. I just feel miserable and I want it to stop.
I hear the roaring of the bikes, indicating the sighting lap before the start.
"We should get inside", I say, standing up and wiping my face. I make sure my sunglasses are covering my eyes before stepping in slowly. I stand in the back leaning against the wall and I can feel Tony's presence next to me. It's nice to have someone like him. But I hate it, at the same time. He must think I'm pathetic, always crying over nothing.
The race is a bit of a blur for me, I see Fabio doing good, but at the same time I don't really register it. I don't register the tears falling down either. Not until Tony gently squeezes my shoulder. The worried glances between Tony and Tom also go unnoticed. When Fabio finishes third, the whole box starts clapping and cheering and it's like a wake-up call. I get out of my trance, dry my cheeks and grin widely. I think it will fool most people involved.
I make my way over to Parc Fermรฉ and wait for Fabio. Pecco's also on the podium and I give Domizia a quick thumbs up, which she returns with a confused look. Tom stands next to me and pulls me in a side hug.
"You are coming with me and Tony, when the podium ceremony is over. We're gonna talk", he whispers in my ear and pulls me extra close, kissing the top of my head. The action almost makes me cry again.
Fabio riding his bike inside the little square and I can see his happiness, but it's still a bit reserved. He hugs a few mechanics before making his way over to Tom and me. He shares a moment with Tom, before giving him his gloves and earpieces. He turns to me and I hug him.
"You did amazing, I'm really proud", I tell him softly, he grins at me and our moment is over.
Fabio gives his interview, takes a few photos and leaves for the podium. We all gather around and watch him celebrate his podium.
But as soon as it's over, Tom takes my hand and pulls me with him.
We make our way over to an unfamiliar unit. Tony is already inside and also Domizia joins us after a few minutes.
"Julietta.. what's wrong?", she asks as soon as she's inside.
"It's nothing, I'm fine", I say stubbornly, sitting down on the sofa.
"Is this about Australia?", she asks, almost knowingly.
"Australia?", both men question.
"It um.. it's nothing. I was just really nervous", I try to tell them again. I don't want to tell Fabio's friends about the sex we had. I don't want to out him like that..
"Julie, we are your friends. You can talk to us about anything", Tom says and it's like something snaps.
"No, you are not. You both are Fabio's friends", I say stubbornly, standing up. "And you are Pecco's girlfriend. You should celebrate with him. And you two need to go to Fabio", I point at all of them, while talking. "I don't need an intervention, I just need to be alone"
I walk out and go towards Fabio's unit. Get the things I left there, before making my way over to the hotel.
When I'm in the hotelroom, I take the bottle of wine from the fridge and start drinking from the bottle. I want to stop feeling anything.
"Julie?", I hear somewhere. Maybe it's in my dream. I like my dream, Fabio's sweet and I'm skinny and we don't have problems. I want that.
"Julie"
I hear someone, but I don't want to. I keep my eyes closed tightly. I want to go back to my dream.
"Did you drink this?", I know it's Fabio. But I don't want angry Fabio. And he probably has that bottle in his hands. It's empty now.
"No", I slur, turning around. I want my dream.
"What's wrong with you?!", the voice is loud and angry and I shrink into the bed. I don't respond and I don't open my eyes, although I feel tears streaming down.
I hear a sigh, before Fabio's voice is soft and cold, "you know what, I'm done"
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