(Y/N) hummed lightly as she walked out of her house, then she spotted Gintoki running over with a small bouquet of yellow flowers in hand. A huge grin was displayed on his face, lips stretched out in a genuine smile.

(Y/N)'s heart skipped a beat, an ever so faint smile appearing on her lips as he drew nearer and nearer. Her hands clasped together in anticipation—

"Gin, I—"

Then, he went past her.

"Tsukuyo, sorry to make you wait!!"

(Y/N) frowned and turned around to see Gintoki bashfully handing a flustered and red faced Tsukuyo the bouquet he held in his hands. Her (E/C) eyes narrowed softly, a pain stricken expression shadowing her face as she quickly turned around again.

"I-Idiot! Who told you to give me flowers?!"

"Then, you don't want it?~"

"I-I never said anything! You already gave it so I have no choice but to take it!!"

The couple's small banter made (Y/N)'s scowl run deeper. "I'm such an idiot," She pressed her palm to her forehead and sighed.

"How could I forget he made a decision already?"

(Y/N) looked up, remembering the way he happily ran over with that yellow flower in his hands. Gently, she lifted a hand to her chest— feeling it tighten as an unbearable sadness envelops her heart.

".....But, how could he forget I was the first one he gave those flowers to?"

When we were 9 years old, he gave me a flower.

"....I'm (Y/N). Since, we'll be living together as Shoyo-sensei's students— I hope we'll become closer!!" A young (Y/N) happily stated to a young Gintoki who was crouched at the corner of the room.

He casted his red eyes downward, his grip on his sword tightening as he hugged it closer to his chest, his lips forming a tight line— a sign that he didn't want to talk to her.

(Y/N) slightly frowned at this, he was still a bit cold and unresponsive as Shoyo said he would be. But, for a cheerful and friendly girl like (Y/N), that can't be!

Leaning down slightly, she grinned at him. "Don't hesitate to ask me for something, okay?" She says before she skipped away. Gintoki only looked at her retreating figure with a calculating gaze.

A week later, while (Y/N) and Gintoki were hanging out in the courtyard. (Y/N) felt a small tap on her shoulder— turning around she sees Gintoki's hand covered in dirt as he held out a lone yellow flower to her.

"....What's this?" (Y/N) asked, when Gintoki shoved the flower into her hands. She looked up, shifting her gaze from the flower to Gintoki and saw an incredibly rare look of emotion on his face.

Gintoki's head was slightly turned to the side, with one hand behind his back and the other ruffling his messy silver locks he spoke,

"It looked so bright and looking at it made me happy....it reminded me of you,"

(Y/N) lightly gasped before she smiled warmly at Gintoki. Hugging the delicate and fragile flower to her chest she grinned widely.

"Thank you, Gintoki! I'll take care of this forever! I'll try to make you happy for the rest of your life too!"

Finally, Gintoki's heart started opening up to her.

Gintoki watched Tsukuyo look at the flowers with a smile on her lips. He smiled softly, one corner of his lips lifting upwards at the sight.

"....You like it that much?" Gintoki asked her and Tsukuyo nodded.

"....I only like it because it's you who gave it to me....idiot," She blushed and looked away again.

Suddenly, Gintoki remembered the day he gave (Y/N) yellow flowers, that huge smile on her face, that bright and eccentric (E/C) eyes of hers that sparkled, and he even remembered the promsie she told him.

"......Well, what do you say to Gin-san then? I blew off my parfait money for that, you know?" Gintoki stated jokingly to Tsukuyo.

"Pfft," Tsukuyo laughed as she lightly smacked his arm. "Thank you, Gintoki."

The smile on Gintoki's lips faltered— when he realized something.

Tsukuyo can make him smile, but (Y/N) made him happy.

--

"Which one do you think she'll like?" Gintoki hummed in deep thought as he looked over various hair pins with intricate and beautiful designs.

(Y/N) stood beside him with a neutral expression on her face as she connected her hands in front of her calmly.

"How about this one?" (Y/N) faked a smile and picked out a hair pin to show to Gintoki. "I feel like....it doesn't suit her." Gintoki sighs deeply and then he grabbed another pin.

"Doesn't this look like the color of her eyes?" Gintoki exclaimed, holding up a beautiful hair pin with a big purple gem on it. (Y/N) stole a glance at Gintoki and saw the sincere expression he wore over his face.

"....Yeah, it does." She smiled lowly and clenched her hands together, biting her lip to hold in her tears.

"Oh, by the way—" Gintoki turned to her, his red eyes analyzing her figure. "That shabby silver pin of yours, when are you gonna buy a new one?" He sighs as he points to the silver hair pin she used to hold her hair back.

(Y/N) lightly gasped, her fingers reaching to touch the old silver hair pin gently.

"No wonder you're still single. Alright, since I'm feeling generous today. Go on, pick one— Gin-san will buy you one too!" Gintoki nudges her and smirks as he leans down close to pick one out for her.

"No...I'm good," (Y/N) turned down his offer. "I'm fine with this shabby old silver pin."

"You sure about that?"

"I'm absolutely sure."

(Y/N) turned away from Gintoki, casting her (E/C) to the ground she touched the hair pin. A sorrowful smile stretching on her lips.

"After all, it was you who gave it to me."

When we were 18, he gave me a hair pin.

(Y/N) swept the little hairs away from her hair with an annoyed sigh. "...Maybe it's time to get my hair cut? Oh, I'll ask Kotaro!!" (Y/N) says, hitting her fist in her palm, her mouth forming a small 'o' in realization.

"Tsk, why ask for that Zura?" Gintoki mumbled from beside her with a sour expression forming on his face. He then dug into into the sleeves of his kimono and threw something into the palm of her hands.

"There, use it!"

"Huh?....What's this?...." (Y/N) curiously stared at the silver hair pin Gintoki tossed in her hands with a confused gaze.

"A hair pin! Jeez, what a clueless woman." Gintoki shook his head, taking the hair pin from her hands, he delicately brushed her hair back and slipped the hair pin into her hair to hold it back.

"That's how you do it!"

"Wow~ This makes it easier then! Where did you get this, Gin??"

Gintoki blushed at the beautiful sight of (Y/N) with the biggest, brightest smile on her face. With her hair out of the way, her beautiful face was in clear view. He smiled softly as he placed his hand on top of her head.

"I got it from Tatsuma,"

"Then...why did you give me one?"

"....I just noticed," Gintoki blushed and looked away. "...How your hair is always so messy and all around the place. It's annoying so I got that!" He defended firmly while she giggled.

"Alright then," She grabbed his hand and interwined her fingers with his. "Thank you, Gin! I promise to take good care of it!!" She grinned.

"You better! I did a lot to get that for you, you know— you can't ever replace it!"

"Yes...Even if it gets shabby and old, I won't ever replace it."

Gintoki smiled at her, feeling content and happy when he saw how happy she looked.

"Here you go," Gintoki throws the newly bought hair pin he bought Tsukuyo into her hands. Tsukuyo received it with both hands and a confused gaze.

"W-What's this?" Tsukuyo eyed the pin amd blushed.

"Tsk, you and your gifts!" She says as she took the pin in hand and pinned it in her hair.

"Like it? Well, Gin-san chose it for you!"

"....I like it very much." Tsukuyo blushed and Gintoki faintly smiled again. The image of (Y/N) smiling brightly, her hair pinned back by a bright, shining silver hair pin appeared in his mind.

'Why do I....keep remembering (Y/N)'s face when I'm with Tsukuyo?....' He frowned and then he felt Tsukuyo tug on the hem of his sleeve.

"W-Well, now that that's over it. S-Shall we go?"

"Oh," Gintoki snapped back to reality, brushing off his previous thought. "Yeah."

---

"He made his decision already...So, I have to get over it! Get over him, (Y/N)!!" (Y/N) repeatedly said to herself as she squished her cheeks with both her hands.

Then, she sighed and let her body lean against the bridge's rails. It was night— and she couldn't sleep because all her mind and heart had was Gintoki.

Gintoki who chose Tsukuyo over her.

Gintoki who rejected her.

Gintoki who didn't love her back.

(Y/N) looked down at the calm, stagnant water of the river— then she spotted something in the water.

There were two flowers clinging to a weed— but then one flower was separated and started flowing down the river.

"Oh," (Y/N) smirked weakly. "Even a little flower is mocking me?...." She hissed and looked up to the moon— it's gentle light gleaming down on her figure.

Then, she remembered the fateful day Gintoki made his decision.

"Gintoki!"

Tsukuyo called out to the silver haired male, hoping to get his attention. (Y/N) and Tsukuyo made eye contact— then Tsukuyo's eyes fall on to Gintoki and soon to (Y/N) too, they were holding hands.

"Tsukuyo, what do you need?" Gintoki casually turned to her, waiting for the blonde woman to continue speaking.

"I-I know this is all so sudden but....I just wanted to..." Tsukuyo trailed off, as she nervously looked away. Then, she took a deep breath and looked Gintoki in the eyes.

"I like you, Sakata Gintoki. You're the man— who made me realize that I....I wanted to be a woman....But, I only wanted to be a woman for you."

(Y/N) held her breath— this was something she never expected. She knew Tsukuyo liked Gintoki, but she also figured that she would never be able to confess, yet she was proved wrong.

"Tsukuyo...." Gintoki's voice softened and then Tsukuyo bowed.

"S-Sorry to interrupt! I just wanted to let you know!" She hurriedly says as she turned on her heel and started running away.

"Wait, Tsukuyo—" Gintoki calls out but she was too far away. Gintoki took a step forward, about to chase after her when (Y/N) clenched her jaw.

"Gintoki, I— !!" She looked up in time to meet Gintoki's eyes— something was swirling in those beautiful red orbs of his. An emotion she knew all too well.

Those were the eyes of a man in love.

"(Y/N), I'm sor—"

(Y/N) bit her lip and forced a smile, she tilted her head to the side slightly. "Don't say sorry....It's not your fault...." She whispered lowly.

"Gintoki, go on and settle it. I'll be fine....But, when you return— can you...listen to me then?" She asked him softly and he nodded.

Gintoki let go of her hand and ran away.

"I will. Thank you!!" Then, he sped off after Tsukuyo and (Y/N) sighed.

She felt her chest tighten, and she looked up— blinking repeatedly in order to hold her tears back.

She looked at her hand, which was previously in Gintoki's hand.

"....Stupid man," She frowned, her (E/C) eyes brimming with tears. "How could he ever let go of a woman like me?...." She sniffed and wiped her tears away.

She took one last look at Gintoki's retreating back before she hung her head down and let her tears spill out.

"....You were the one who said to never let go....Yet, why were you the first one to let go?"

"Crying doesn't suit you." A voice interrupted her thoughts and before she knew it a handkerchief was being shoved at her face.

"Wha—"

"What kind of woman looks at the moon with that kind of face and suddenly starts crying?"

(Y/N) wiped her eyes with the handkerchief and looked up to see Takasugi standing by her side.

"....Shinsuke? What are you doing here?...."

--

Back in his room, Gintoki laid on his futon with his hands resting behind his head and his red eyes fixated on the ceiling.

He couldn't sleep.

Because (Y/N) kept popping in his mind.

"Tsk, I'm sleepy. Damn it, just let me sleep!" He cursed lowly as he huffed and turned to his side and shut his eyes closed with his eyebrows furrowed.

But when he shut his eyes, he could only think of (Y/N) again.

At 9 years old, she gave him a reason to live.

Gintoki eyed (Y/N) who came into the room bringing along a tray of snacks and drinks.

"It's not good to skip your meals," She reprimanded him with a small pout, waving her finger about in front of his eyes.

(Y/N) noticed that he was ignoring her and she let out an annoyed sigh. She then crossed her arms and sat down in front of him, forcing him to look at her.

"I might not know what you've gone through— but, you were able to survive that. Now, that you're here with sensei and me, you have nothing to fear— I won't ever let you go through something like that again!" She proudly says, with a grin.

"I know it's hard for you to trust— but, when you want to say something— say it proudly and boldly, okay? Don't worry, I'll protect you!!" She proudly pointed to herself with her thumb.

Gintoki stared at her in silence for quite some time before he moved to grab the snacks and started eating.

Then, he turned to look at her again.

"Hm?" She tilted her head to the side.

"You can't do it."

"Huh?...What can't I?...." (Y/N) qsked him confusedy.

"You can't protect me—" Gintoki spoke clearly. Then, he looked her straight in the eye and placed his finger atop her nose to tap it lightly.

"I'll be the one to protect you."

Because Gintoki, found another reaosn to live.

At 18 years old, she gave him a reason to fight.

"Tatsuma's leaving tomorrow— don't you want to go with him?" Gintoki asked (Y/N), making the woman look at him before her lips broke out into a grin.

"Why would I ever chose to leave you, Gin?"

"....Who knows," Gintoki mumbled sadly as he looked up at the dark sky littered with twinkling stars.

"One day...we may get separated against our wills..." He added. Then, he hears (Y/N) sigh lowly before she moved to grab his hand.

"Then, Gin. If we hold hands like this— we won't ever get separated right?" (Y/N) smiled delicately, gently interwining her fingers around Gintoki's.

"And so— we'll always stay together!!" She cheers happily while Gintoki blushed.

"Idiot...it doesn't work that way!" He shouts lowly at her. "But....You should never let go of me, alright?" Gintoki says as she nodded.

"Of course! I'll never let go!!"

Gintoki smiled, and looked at her with a passionate gaze.

Gintoki's eyes shot open as he sat up. He gulped and blinked repeatedly. His eyes had finally opened to the truth he was so blind to all this time...

"I love (Y/N)." He spoke in realization as he stood up, his eyes going wide in shock. "I love her— I-I need to tell her...." Gintoki's eyes shifted to the door and he rushed out quickly to look for (Y/N).

-

"I see....Gintoki again, huh?" Takasugi smirks, as he started playing with his smoking pipe, ignoring the hateful glare she gave him.

"No, it isn't. What are you even here, Shinsuke?"

"Well, I spotted a heart broken woman." He shrugged and eyed her figure. "I thought that as a gentleman, I should comfort her."

".....Gentleman, my ass."

"(Y/N), stop denying your feelings." Takasugi sighs as he looked up. "You've only made those kind of faces whenever Gintoki's involved. Now, that he's with someone else will you continue hurting yourself?" He asked her.

".....What can I do? A woman loves him with all her heart. She lived her life for him, and with him." She placed a hand to her chest as she lowered her gaze to the river.

"....That foolish woman is willing to love him no matter what happens, even if he doesn't love her, even if he still won't choose her." She spoke, her voice wavering, laced with sadness and bitter regret.

".......That woman is me...."

"Truly," Takasugi looked at her and sighed with a smirk playing on his lips. "What a foolish woman you are— no matter how many men woo you, your eyes are fixed on him only."

"(Y/N)—" Gintoki paused when he saw (Y/N) with Takasugi. He was close to them, and Takasugi even saw him.

Gintoki stopped in his tracks, panting and sweating heavily he watched as Takasugi made eye contact with him before he turned to the oblivious (Y/N).

"Then, foolish woman." Takasugi turned to her and asked (Y/N) in a low voice. "May I ask you one thing?"

"Hm?"

"....What did that foolish man give you?" Takasugi snickered lowly, his eye drawing over to Gintoki who was staring at (Y/N) waiting for her answer.

"Gintoki......He gave me a heart ache that'll last me a lifetime." She scoffed lowly, feeling her heart tinge in pain.

"And so? Do you like him?" Takasugi added on, his smirk growing wider when he sees Gintoki's lips slowly part.

"I don't— I don't like him."

"I see....Then, you're not a foolish woman anymore." Takasugi laughed heartily.

Gintoki, who heard all this turned around and clenched his fist. 'I was too late....' He let out a deep sigh and walked away.

Gintoki looked down and lowly clicked his tongue— feeling his eyes sting and his heart break. '....I'm always too late.'

".....I don't like him, Gintoki— he's...." (Y/N) trailed off and looked up at Takasugi. "I love Gintoki more than anything else in this world." She declared boldly and Takasugi frowned.

"It seems I was wrong...you're still a foolish woman then— well," Takasugi paused and looked at Gintoki's retreating figure.

"You make a nice pair— A foolish man and a foolish woman." He smirked.

"....If he's happy, then I won't stand in his way. He already gave me everything I could ask for." (Y/N) smiled and placed a hand on her chest.

A melancholy look appearing on her face as she gazed out on the distance. "Even if I have to live with this heart ache for the rest of my life— I will, because...." She trails off, as she closed her eyes.

"I chose to love him— and I don't regret it one bit."

After walking back, Gintoki looked up at the moon. "Regret is something that stays in your heart for a long time...I wonder when this bitter regret of mine will go away?..." Gintoki spoke lowly as he clutched his chest, tears unconsciously spilling from his red eyes.

"....If she's happy, then that's all I need. She gave me everything I could ever ask for." He sighed deeply and tipped his head down.

"....Even if it's not me who's making her happy," He trails off—