Malalim akong huminga habang hawak ang baywang pagkatapos ayusin ang Celestial Craft. This mission failed a few months ago and here we are, fixing the problem. I decided to help them and check how's the progress before going back to preparing for our ISS trip next month.

The Celestial Mission Program's purpose is to travel to other planets inside the solar system faster than the original distance and time. This is a great risk and will be tested in the future. The first planet was planning to go to is Mars.

When we reach Mars, we'll research the life we can have on Mars, on how we can live there like how we live on Earth. It's like a backup plan in case the earth can't carry us anymore.

The earth is dying. The earth is not healthy anymore. Our earth is sick.

The scientists are creating plans on how to live on another planet, but at the same time, plans on how to cure the earth. Ngunit hindi lang mga scientists ang kailangan may gawin. Kahit anong paalala at paggawa nila ng paraan upang mapanatiling maging maganda at maayos ang ating tahanan, kung may mga taong gumagawa naman ng paraan upang masisira ito ay mapupunta pa rin sa wala ang kanilang ginagawa. Hindi sapat na kami lang ang may ginagawa, kailangan lahat. It's better to have majority of humans are treating the part, but it is the best if all of us are one.

But one thing I dislike about this plan is those people who caused the disease on Earth might possibly go to Mars and do the same.

Kahit ilang beses na pagsabihan itapon ang mga basura sa tamang lalagyan, may ilang pasaway pa rin ang hindi nakikinig. One trash can damage the earth.

Some might think of those as cool, but they didn't know they were being a killer.

Killer because the earth is suffering. The earth might die. Our home might die.

Uminom muna akong tubig, sumunod naman sina Hercules. Saglit na nagkwentuhan muna kami bago naisipang bumalik sa ginagawa. "Why does your smile looks so weird?" Inggit na tanong ni Hercules na nasa tabi ko.

"Ikaw ang weird, inggit ka lang."

He chuckled. "Hindi ah. So? What's the good news?"

"Babalik na yung universe niya, ano ba naman kayo! Ba't niyo nakalimutan yan?!" Sumama ang tingin ko kay Race na tumawa lang.

I didn't mind them teasing me, sanay naman ako tsaka... gusto ko rin. Ano ba?

"By the way, hindi talaga nagpaparamdam si Giacomo?" Hercules suddenly asked.

Kumibit-balikat ako at umiling. "Ewan, ayaw ata talaga maistorbo. Hindi ko naman kukulitin!"

"Are you kidding us? Ikaw?" I sneered at them when they started teasing me.

Ngunit bigla nawala ang ngisi ko nang biglang pumunta si Kiersten sa'min at sinabing, "Yung plane na sinasakyan ni S-Shira. Na-crash!"

Ilang beses akong napakurap. Tumagal ang titig ko sa kanya. Ngunit inulit pa ang sinabi!

Umayos ako ng tayo at humawak sa baywang ko ang isang kamay habang ang isa naman ay pinunasan ang mukha ko sabay basa ng labi. I looked down, thnking that I don't hear is fake before I looked at her again.

"What?"

"Totoo, e-eto..." Kinuha ko ang phone sa kamay niya at agad binasa ang post. It was posted an hour ago.

OneOnOne Plane crashed and was found near the South China Sea. 164 were saved and injured, and 87 were dead while 112 were missing, including Nashira Topaz who is said to be one of the passengers, PJ, her assistant, and the captain.

Dumilim bigla ang paligid ko sa nabasa. Hindi ko alam kung saan pupunta at kung ano ang gagawin. It's like my mind is block. My arms and legs are starting to numb and shake.

She's missing.

Nasa tamang pag-iisip pa naman ako. Kahit aalis ako rito, hindi ko pa rin alam saan pupunta kung saan sigurado akong makikita siya. My mind started to ache as I felt my friends went near me, trying to calm me down. Pabalik-balik akong naglakad.

"The rescue team is already on their way. May ilan na narescue na at pauwi na rito, pero hindi mahanap ang ilan." Kiersten explained.

"Si Ate T? Nasa'n?"

"Hindi ko rin alam. Wala pa akong update sa kanila ngayon maliban na may ilang rescuers galing sa China ang tumulong, lalo na't mas malapit ang bansa yun kung saan naganap ang... yun. Papunta o kakarating na ata ng rescuers galing ng bansa natin."

Binasa ko ulit ang ibabang labi habang nakatingin sa ibaba, hawak ang baywang ko gamit ng dalawang kamay. She's alive, I know it. Susunduin ko pa siya. I took my phone out of my pocket to check if she has a message, but her last sent was hours ago.

"Geo, babalik siya. Let's just wait." I felt Hercules' hand on my shoulder. Lumingon ako sa mga tauhan na nag-aayos ng spacecraft, pinagsabihan ko sila na ituloy ang planong sinabi ko kanina at i-message ako upang balitaan.

"Pupunta ako ro'n." Dumiretso ako ng lakad papasok. Magpapaalam ako na magli-lieave nanaman. Babawi na lang ako kapag makabalik ako. Ramdam ko ang pagsunod nila.

"Geo! Saan ka?" Nasa tabi ko na sila bigla. Humarang sa harapan ko si Race.

"China. Bukas, aalis ako. Magpapaalam lang. I'm sorry." Hindi ko na sila pinansin at dumiretso ng elevator. Trying to gather up my emotions. Ilang beses akong huminga ng malalim habang naglalakad.

I'm not hundred percent sure if she is really there, ngunit dahil malapit sa karagatan na yun ay baka hindi siya nalalayo sa mga bansa na yun.

Hindi natuloy ang pagpasok ko sa loob ng may kamay na biglang pumigil sa akin. It was Race. "Magwawaldas ka nanaman ng pera?"

Hinawi ko ang kanyang kamay. "May ipon ako no," umirap ako at pinindot ang elevator.

Ngunit muli niya kinuha ang kamay ko at pinaharap sa kanya. "Don't be impulsive, Geo. The rescuers are doing their best. Mahahanap nila si Shira. Just stay here for a while and think thoroughly of your plan. Ano'ng gagawin mo? Pupunta ng China at tatlon ng tubig para sisirin ang buong dagat?"

My brow furrowed as I glared at him. Mas lalo akong nainis ng tumawa siya na tila nabasa niya ang iniisip ko. "Tumahimik ka nga. Kailangan ko siya hanapin."

Ngunit mabilis niya pa rin nakuha ang braso ko sabay hila papuntang lounge area kung saan wala masyadong tao. "Geo, magu-update sila. Pag-isipan mo muna ang gagawin mo. Huwag na huwag kang tatalon sa oras na makarating ka nga ng China!"

"Hindi nga ako tatalon! Hindi naman ako bobo!" Sumiklab nanaman ang inis ko sa kanya dahil sa halakhak niya.

He didn't say anything, but just hugged me after I screamed. Huli ko na naramdaman ang basa sa pisngi ko ng may naramdaman dito kaya agad kong pinunasan. "Hindi niya naman ako iiwan... diba? H-Hahanapin ko siya."

"The rescuers are already finding her. She's well-known in this world, and they will prioritize her. Marami ang hahanap sa kanya." He whispered which made me realize the reality.

Hindi ko alam kung sasaya ba ako o hindi. I know he has a point. And it's unfair for those other people who are also missing to prioritize Shira because she's famous. There's a part in me who felt relief because of what he said. Naguguluhan ako. But I just hope they would find her immediately... and those people who are missing as well. I hope they're safe.

Hindi ko kayang bumalik ng trabaho na hindi siya iniisip. I tried to finish the job and check how the spacecraft is. I should be the one whose checking it since I'm in charge. Nang matapos ang trabaho ng araw na yun ay agad akong umuwi. Doon ko lang muli natignan ang balita.

Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin siya mahanap. PJ were already found but she's not responsive. I immediately called her parents and asked how they are. Tulad ko ay sobrang nag-aalala rin sila. Hanggang gabi ay hindi ako makatulog sa kakaisip kung pupunta ba ako ng China upang tumulong sa paghahanap. Ngunit hindi ko alam kung tulong nga ba ang maibibigay ko.

I'm afraid that I will be emotional knowing that I'm not emotionally strong.

Ilang araw na ang lumipas at mas lalo akong natakot tuwing may naibabalitang ilang missing na nahanap na ngunit ilan ay wala na, few were injured and is in coma. Ngunit may ilan na hindi pa rin mahanap. As the days became a week, mas lalo akong kinakabahan dahil baka titigil na sila sa paghahanap at sasabihing wala na ang mga hindi pa nahanap. Kaya napagdesisyunan kong tutulong sa mga rescuers, but the WSAA won't allow me to take a leave dahil naubos ko ang leave na ibinigay nila.

Kaya nag-absent na lang ako. Ilang araw lang naman yun. I asked a cousin of mine from the rescuers to help me find her. Sumama ako sa kanila. Sinuyod din namin ang ilang bansa malapit sa karagatan ng South China Sea katulad ng Thailand, ngunit wala kaming nakita. Kaya napatulala na lang ako sa tubig na nasa harap.

Nang umuwi ako papuntang Pilipinas ay nakatanggap ako na balita na nahanap na si Ate T na kasama si Shira. Hindi ako makapakali sa flight. But I just end up disappointing that it was not her at kawangis lang ang katawan. Hindi lang isang beses nangyari yun.

Naghati-hati rin ang kanyang mga fans sa nangyari sa kanya. Although, we're not sure what happened... or where she is, few accepted the she's gone while there is some who still has hope like me. Hindi pa naman nahahanap ang katawan. That's my basis if she's alive or...

When New Year came, the guys visited me dahil hindi ako sumipot no'ng Christmas sa kanilang Christmas party. Wala rin naman akong plano sa mga araw na yun maliban sa maghanda para sa nalalapit na biyahe papuntang ISS.

I've been trained in survival training for years, ever since I joined the camp. They already prepared me for the possibility that I will be in space someday. I busied myself in preparing myself in going to ISS, just like what we planned a year ago. But at the end of the day, I still end up waiting for news of where and how she is.

The three of us did the final activity before pre-launch before parting in the launchpad. We wrote our names and date with our signs on a board as proof that we were going to go out on Earth. We also received a traditional blessing from a priest. We did a march going to the bus that will lead us to where the launching will happen. Nakipagbro-hug pa ako kina Orion.

"Ingat ka ro'n. Don't do anything stupid," bulong niyang kinaikot ng mata ko.

"Sure." Tipid akong tumango bago pumasok ng bus.

Nang marating namin ang kinaroroonan ay ginawa namin ang mga suite procedures. We're sitting on a chair while the staff is assisting us. Fixing the things that needed to be fixed in our suite, to make sure that it is leak free. We lay down on a replica of a seat in Soyuz MS-15 to also check if our suit is leak-free and to make sure that the suit is air-tight and ready to support the 8 minutes and 45 seconds to orbit.

Nang matapos ang lahat ng kailangan ay lumabas na kami ng center. Muli kami sumakay sa isang bus papuntang launch pad. We bid our goodbye to the well-wishers and staffs who wthere to support our trip.

Umakyat na kami papuntang Soyuz. The elevator carried us. Muli tinignan kung maayos ba ang oxygen, gears, helmet at ang suit namin. Hindi ko magawang maramdaman ang takot. Siguro, namanhid na ang damdamin ko sa nangyari. Parang wala na akong pake kung ano ang mangyari, basta matapos ang misyon na'to. Our mission in this flight is to fix the broken parts of the module, we also recently learned that the antenna in ISS is not working well. Beside, we're planning to built a telescope to have a much better and cleaer access to the space. This is my first time so a part of me feels scared. But with my situation recently, what's scared?

While inside the Soyuz while waiting for the launch, we're still on the countdown in order to make sure all the engineers know exactly when lift-off should be, and how much time we have to make last-minute adjustments. Mayro'n ding weather checking upang masigurado na maganda ang panhon ngayon para sa biyahe. Just a double-check for assurance of a safe flight.

"T-30 seconds." I just realized that I'm rushing with my adrenaline as the spacecraft is getting ready. It feels like I'm on a rollercoaster that's going up and then suddenly going down.

"The second umbilical is now retracting initiating auto sequence now starts. The main engine is now on ignition."

"3...2...1... and lift-off." The reporter of our agency announced.

Hindi nagtagal ay nagsimula na rin mag-launch. When my gaze stopped by the window, hindi ko maiwasan isipin na baka nandito lang siya sa kalawakan. Maybe, I can see her here. Or there is a gate to where she is. Nagtagal ang tingin ko ro'n.

My hand turned into a fist when I heard the loud bang of the explosion of the tanks.

It took us almost three days when we reached the ISS in Earth's time. Sinalubong kami ng ilang mgs scientist na nando'n. Being in the space for the first time felt new. Of course. Parang akong nakalutang. I can't feel any heaviness. It feels like I'm a cloud kahit never naman akong naging ulap.

While we're in space, we often do workouts like treadmills for at least two hours to keep our muscles strong. Pagkatapos no'n ay magtatrabaho na kami. We're doing research here. Because I'm new to being here in the ISS, they introduced me to the things I need to know like the location of such places.

Wearing our spacesuit attire, we went out of the ISS to fix a repair outside. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng kaba nang lumabas. This is my first time walking out of the ISS after weeks of being here. I felt nothing.

"Geo, don't do anything horrible." Kumunot ang noo ko sa inulit ni Kuya Diego nang kakalabas lang namin.

"I won't."

"They said she's back."

"Ilang beses na ba nilang sinabi yan? You guys are making me a fool." Tumiim ang bagang ko at pumunta sa pwesto na kailangan aayusan. Dalawa kami ang nasa labas.

Naalala ko ang pag-asang naramdaman ko nang sinabi nila nahanap na si Shira, only to end up disappointed again. Nang una kala nila siya dahil sa pagkakatulad ng hubog ng katawan, but later on, they told me lies only to turn me back like how I was before.

The first time was when I went with my cousin in search of her. Ngunit bumalik akong bigo. The second was days after that.

Kasalukuyan akong nakahiga sa kama ng kanyang condo. Nakatulala sa kisame habang yakap ng mahigpit ang kanyang unan. Uni gave me an extra key kaya malaya akong makakapunta ng condo niya.

Hindi ko alam kung saan na ako napadpad sa kakatulala. The only thing I knew is I'm staring at her white ceiling with no concrete thoughts until a ring called my attention.

Kinapa ng kamay ko kung saan nagmumula ang tunog habang hindi mawala ang tingin ko sa harap. "Hello?" I lazily asked after answering the call.

Biglang umalis ang kaluluwa ko ng marinig ang sagot ng tawag galing kay Orion. "Bro, nahanap na raw si Shira. Nasa ospital ngayon."

Without second thoughts, hinanap ko ang susi ng sasakyan at agad na pumanhik papunta sa ospital na sinabi ni Orion. Hindi ko mapigilan hindi maiyak habang papunta ro'n. I drove my car as fast as I can, not minding that speed limit. Ngunit nang maalala baka pagalitan niya ako ay binagalan ko ng kaunti ang pagmamaneho. I drove my way trying to calm the fear inside me.

Fear that just like the last time, it was the wrong woman with the same build as her.

And I was right.

Hindi ko nagawang kausapin si Orion pagkatapos ng araw na yun. Akala niya ba maganda sa pakiramdam na pinaglalaruan ka? Seryosong naghihintay ang tao rito kung buhay pa ba o hindi si Uni. And not fact checking before telling me just cause me to feel irritation from him! And so, I remain silent.

Sumunod pa ang isang pangyayari na sinasabi nilang buhay si Shira. The third time was when days after I arrived at ISS. They called me on the softphone, telling me that I should not do anything stupid cause she was alive and waiting for me, na nahanap na nila. I asked them for proof, that I wanted to talk to her or see her but they always gave me lame excuses that she can't cause she needs to be treated well, hanggang sa napagtanto kong gawa-gawa lang nila yun.

Hindi ko naiintindihan kung bakit ang trato nila sa'kin ay parang may masama akong gagawin. Ginagawang daan din nila si Shira na hindi ko gagawin ang kung ano mang iniisip nila.

"Geo Correo is currently wearing a suit with no stripes, while Diego Sullivan is currently wearing two blue stripes." The announcer announced, from the radio inside the cap. The staff from the earth is with us through a screen provided. Ang dahilan ng pinagkaiba ng aming suot ni Kuya ay upang mabilis matukoy kung sino ang alin sa'min.

I am currently checking if the LET worksite is working, while Kuya Diego, slides up to remove the mud flap to change it into a new radiator system. After doing our tasks, both of us installed a tap underneath the pump system to close out the former worksite.

"I'll insert the extender," tumango ako sa tugon ni Kuya. We double-checked the extender we installed before proceeding with the other task. The extender is used to extend coverage from the Earth.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal naroon. It's tiring, but I admit I had fun fixing. "Geo, done?" I heard Kuya from the radio.

"Done."

"Stay there. Papunta na'ko." Kumunot ang noo ko, ngunit wala rin naman magawa dahil sabay a rin naman kami papasok. My gaze followed the thether that connects me to Kuya Diego. Nasa kabilang banda siya.

While waiting for him, I can't help to stare at the space where I am. Back when I was a child, I was used to staring at the sky, day and night, hoping that someday, I would reach and be where what's beyond those clouds, and now I'm here.

Akala ko, mahahawakan ko ang mga bituin kapag nasa kalawakan na ako, but I didn't knew that being in the earth would made me easily do that. It's easier to reach a star whose on Earth while reaching the star in space. Because I belong to that star. The earth's star.

Ngunit bigla siya nawala at hindi ko alam kung nasa'n. Baka, ayaw na niya sa daigdig at naisipang dito sa kalawakan lumipat? Kapag ba magtatagal ako rito... kapag ba hahayaan ko ang sarili na lumitaw at mapadpad kung saan man... mahahanap ko kaya siya?

"Geo!" Nagulat ako sa tinis ng boses ni Kuya.

Sa bilig ng pangyayari ay hindi ko na yun nasundan. The next thing I knew, we're inside the ISS. Halong kaba at inis ang nasa mukha ni Kuya. Gulat naman ang ilang kasamahan na nag-aasikaso sa'min.

"Orion's right, hindi tama na sinama ka namin dito." Panimula niya. Umiwas ako ng tingin.

"What happened?" Jesse asked while starting to help us remove our suit. Sarado na ang airlock kung saan kami dumaan.

"Buhay siya Geo. Kaya hwag kang magpapadala sa kung ano mang-iniisip mo. It's true." Hinayaan kong lumabas sa tenga ang lahat ng pinagsasabi niya. Ayokong umasa sa hindi naman totoo. gusto ko, mismong mga amta ko ang saksi sa pinagsasabi nila.

They can easily photoshop and edit photos that can look like her. Ayoko paasahin ang sarili. Ngunit kahit ayoko, alam kong may parte sa isip ko na umaasa, na sana... totoo ang sinasabi nila, ngunit dahil sa mga pangyayari ay hindi ko na magawang maniwala. It hurts. Hoping for nothing.

"I'm not thinking anything," tugon ko at umiwas ng tingin. Huminga ako ng malalim.

Pagkatapos alisin ang suit ay pumunta ako sa gym at nagsimulang magthreadmill. Wala naman akong gagawin ngayon kaya ito na lang, besides it'll help me make my muscles stronger here. Halos dalawang oras ako ro'n. Nang tumigil ay hindi ko maiwasan hindi tignan ang singsing. Saglit na nagtagal ang tingin ko ro'n nang may tumawag sa'kin.

It's Kuya Diego. "Saglit lang."

Nag-ayos muna ako bago lumabas at pumunta sa galley. When I got there, the foods were already heated. Nasa loob ng plastic ang ilang mga pagkain katulad