Author's Note: This is veeeery slow-paced. Lol. I hope that y'all enjoy the probably unexpected reappearance of Ahsoka. ;) Also, Anakin kinda ran off on a philosophical tangent about the Force. It was interesting though. ^-^ And I hope that y'all enjoy the chapter! :D

~ Amina Gila

Ever since Padme spoke to Anakin yesterday, she can't get their conversation out of her head. She can't forget how readily Anakin jumped to defend Vader, how unwilling he was to even listen to her concerns. It caught her by surprise, because she had thought that she could reason with him, make him see her point of view, even if he wouldn't actually take any action against Vader, and it reminds her of what Obi-Wan told her so long ago, about Anakin joining the Sith.

She knows that the Jedi believe that those who Fall to the Dark Side cannot come back, but she doesn't know if she can believe that. Or, at least, she didn't know if she could believe that. Now... she isn't certain.

But she'll have to deal with the situation of Anakin later. For now, she needs to focus on a meeting with Bail in which they're discussing the issue of the Empire and what they can do about it. It's not easy, not when there are so many who seem willing to support Vader's tyrannical grab for power. It feels as if the people are too complacent and unwilling to see what is happening right before their eyes. And then... it will be too late.

"We can't outright take any actions against him without being branded traitors," Bail is saying. "I think we should just wait and see what Vader will do. We don't know what his political ideologies are." And that is the crux of their problem. None of them have any idea what Vader is truly like, unlike with Palpatine. With Palpatine, they could guess, because they have seen firsthand what kind of skill he has. Vader is an unknown.

"The longer we sit back and do nothing, the more likely it becomes that it will be too late," Padme points out, feeling frustrated. When she was fourteen, she went to war to free her planet from the Trade Federation. She's older now, but she's still just as willing to go to war again if it means saving the Republic. "The Empire is evil. Tyranny is not the way to restore peace. We needed to negotiate with the Separatists, not force them to join us."

"Did the Republic force them to join it, or was it the other way around?" There's a hint of amused sarcasm in Bail's voice, and Padme has to concede that he has a point. He pauses before continuing, "Padme, I don't think Vader's Empire is evil. He is talking about rooting out the corruption, and he, unlike Palpatine, is actually doing something to reach that end goal."

"It's an Empire," she protests harshly, "And he is the only one with power. It's wrong."

Bail meets her gaze levelly. "Do not forget that you were elected queen of Naboo, and Alderaan has a queen as well. We are no strangers to having a monarchy."

"That's different."

"Is it?"

Padme wants to protest, to point out to him exactly how different it is to follow traditions that only affect one planet as opposed to the tyrannical regime that Vader has instituted, but she gets the feeling that he won't listen to her. Somehow, without her even noticing, Bail is being swayed to Vader's side. And it doesn't make sense. Of all people, she would have thought that Bail would agree with her. Does that mean that he's being deceived? Or that he's seeing something she's not?

***

Omega is adorable. She is adorable and Anakin loves her as much as he loves Ahsoka somehow, however that's possible. Maybe it's just her youth, and the fact that she radiates the innocence and curiosity which all children do.

"Can I help?" she wants to know, leaning on the desk at Vader's side and peering at the scrolling information in front of him, information which is highly classified. The only reason she's being allowed to see it is because of who she is, and because she's so young that she can't fully understand everything she's seeing.

"What would you like to help with?" Anakin queries, voicing the question before Vader can.

"Anything," she shrugs. "I know there's a lot going on. Fox told me you're getting rid of the bad Senators." Fox is one of the few survivors from the Coruscant Guard who went to confront Palpatine. He was badly injured, but somehow, he didn't die. Omega has visited him after coming to Coruscant, and they're bonding. Anakin is glad to see it, because he knows Fox has not been handling the situation very well. It has been hard for him, to say the least.

Vader's helmet tips towards Anakin, but Anakin can still clearly imagine the look on the elder man's face, the speculative curiosity in his blue or yellow eyes. "Perhaps Senator Amidala might have something for her to do," he suggests slowly. Through their bond, his uncertainty curls.

Anakin feels a wave of dread wash over him. He is not ready to see Padme again, not after what happened yesterday. It was... awful. It was awful, and he doesn't know if he can bear to look her in the eyes, knowing what she thinks about Vader. But at the same time, if Omega is present, he doubts Padme will say anything to him.

"Sure," he agrees. "I'll get her progress report while I'm at it." It's overdue anyways. It's taking her far longer than they thought it might, and he doesn't know if it's deliberate on her part, or if it's simply just taking that long. Maybe, he wonders, it's because she's trying to do... double-cross them. At this point, he wouldn't put anything past her.

He gestures to Omega, and together, the two of them leave the office. He picks up Echo on the way – he doesn't want Omega to be alone with Padme; though he hates to admit it, it's because he doesn't trust her. He does not trust Padme to not try to turn Omega against them. Even if he could handle it, he knows that it would gut Vader entirely. Omega gives him stability. She helps him fill the void within him from losing everything. Anakin is more than a little impressed at Vader's strength, because he doubts that he would have had the ability to leave everything and everyone behind, even if it meant making a better world.

As they walk, Anakin tries to answer whatever questions Omega has while trying to figure out what to say to Padme when he arrives. But all words fly from his mind when the office door opens to reveal Ahsoka.

He hasn't seen her since she and Obi-Wan returned to Coruscant, and that fateful and painful encounter on the landing platform. He's thought of her and Obi-Wan often, wondering how they're doing, but it hurts, because he can't ask them. He couldn't comm them or just spend time with them. Anakin has missed them both so much, but he didn't realize how much until right now, until he's staring at Ahsoka, seeing the surprise in her blue eyes as she sees him. Surprise which is quickly shifting to anger.

Force, he is not ready for this.

"Omega wanted to help," he says to Padme, not taking his eyes off Ahsoka. "I thought you could give her something to do."

"Certainly," she agrees readily, and from the emotions she's radiating into the Force, Anakin can tell that she senses the tension in the room between him and Ahsoka.

"Anakin," Ahsoka states, and he does his best not to react to the harshness of her tone, the barely concealed anger and betrayal in her eyes. She doesn't call him his first name, at least rarely, not when she's talking to him. She's respectful. She always calls him 'master.'

"Ahsoka," he answers, calmly. "If you have something to say to me, and I think you do, then perhaps we should go somewhere privately?"

Her eyes narrow, but finally, she shrugs one shoulder. "Whatever."

It's not a no, though, and when Anakin back out of the office, she follows, so he takes it as a victory. Now, if only Ahsoka will actually listen to him. He can hope, but he doesn't know how optimistic he actually is about his chances. If he can talk to her, make her listen and understand... maybe, just maybe, she won't be lost to him anymore.

***

Ahsoka studies Anakin from the corner of her eye as they walk from the Senate building. His expression is neutral, impassive, but he looks the same as he did the last time she saw him, and even before that. It seems so absurd to think that Anakin hasn't really changed at all... but it seems to be the truth. Well, he doesn't seem as stressed, and there's a serenity in his eyes that she's never noticed before. Overall, he looks good. Better than before even. Weird. She would have thought that being with a Sith, he'd be worse, angrier, not calmer.

Anakin leads them outside the Senate, to the landing platform, gesturing for her to get in the speeder. She turns towards him, ready to ask him where they're going, when he pauses, eyes going distant for a moment as he reaches out with the Force.

Vader.

She thinks that name with no small amount of bitterness, hating how he's gotten into every aspect of her life and changed everything forever. It's easier to hold onto her anger than it is to drown in her pain.

"Vader?" she asks, bitterly when Anakin looks at her questioningly.

"I told him where I was going," he explains.

"Where are we going?" she wants to know, because it doesn't seem worth it to start an argument about Vader right here and now.

"To my cruiser," Anakin replies. "I thought we could speak privately in my quarters there. Is... that alright?" His voice is hesitant, uncertain, and it's so familiar that it makes Ahsoka angry. Shouldn't he be different now that he's a Sith and all? Sith aren't supposed to be anything like the people they used to be.

"It's fine." She tries to keep the curtness out of her tone, but she doesn't know how much she actually succeeds.

They're quiet in the speeder, Anakin's hands on the controls just as familiar as usual, and it sends a strong sense of déjà vu rushing through Ahsoka, invoking feelings of longing and regret, wishing for times that have already passed.

The clones greet her and Anakin equally, just as they always did in the past, as Anakin leads her to his quarters. It looks the same. Everything looks the same, and it feels so wrong when nothing is the same and never will be again.

"How have you been?" Anakin queries, locking the door behind them. The genuine worry and concern in his voice make her angry too – everything seems to be making her angry these days.

"As well as could be expected," she grumbles, "Considering that you abandoned me."

He flinches, minutely, but it's still obvious to her who has been with him so well, and she can feel the flash of hurt that immediately makes her feel guilt. "Sorry," she mumbles before he can say anything. "That was uncalled for."

"I probably deserved it," he murmurs, shaking his head, reaching out towards her, and squeezing her shoulders when she doesn't back away from him. She wants to, but she can't bring herself to do it. More than anything, she's missed Anakin, missed being with him, and she wishes that everything could just go back to the way it used to be. Obviously, it won't, but she can still wish.

"I've worried about you constantly," he admits.

"Obi-Wan took over my training," Ahsoka tells him because she has no reason not to. "It's... weird to not have you at the Temple." Constantly next to me, she doesn't add. "It's weird to not be going on missions or – or anything."

A faint, fleeting smile crosses his face. "The war is over, little one. We ended it." 'We' isn't her and him. No. 'We' is he and Vader, and it irks her.

"I don't understand any of this," she admits in a rush, knowing how audible the quiet hurt is. A part of her wants to cry, but she won't do that, not here in front of Anakin when she can't trust him anymore.

Anakin nudges her to his bunk, sitting on it. She sits next to him after a moment, and it briefly feels like old times, them sitting side-by-side, taking solace in each other's presences. "Speak," he requests. "Tell me what you're thinking, what you're feeling."

That's the problem. There's so much that Ahsoka doesn't even know where she should begin, where she even can begin. "You're a Sith. But... you're still you. I don't understand."

There's a sparkle of amusement through their bond, and Anakin reaches for his lightsaber, thumbing the ignition. Ahsoka gasps at the brilliant white blade.

"How – how is that possible?"

His blue eyes glimmer, reflecting the white glow from his lightsaber. Ahsoka can't take her eyes off it. It strikes her, all at once, how much she's missed him, and she's so tempted to throw her arms around him and cling to him like there's no tomorrow, but she won't do that, not when she can't fully trust him.

"I purified it," he explains, extinguishing the blade and clipping the hilt back to his waist. "I'm not a Sith, Ahsoka. I don't have a label. I don't need one. I'm... me."

Well, that's a little bit comforting at least.

"But how is that possible?" she wonders, frowning. "Once you give in to the Dark Side, you can't come back. That's what the Jedi always teach. That's what you taught me."

His expression sobers, and something, maybe regret, is in his eyes. "I was wrong. The Dark Side is not something to be trifled with, but it is not nearly as dangerous and all-consuming as the Jedi claim. The Dark is simply what we make it. Is it attractive? Powerful? Yes, and yes, but it is also so much more. It is change. The Light breeds complacency and stagnation. It is the Dark that lets things change, that allows us to break chains. It is the Dark that has let us take the Republic and form it into something new, something better. Is the Dark dangerous? Destructive? Yes, but those things are natural. The Light only encourages you to hold onto the past."

She stares at him, stupefied. "You changed."

One side of his mouth quirks upward. "I suppose I have. Being with Vader, it has been very enlightening. I have seen things I cannot unsee, learned things I cannot unlearn, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have the chance to make the galaxy a better place, and I'm not going to dismiss that."

Of all of it, one thing sticks out to Ahsoka the most: the feelings she sensed in Anakin when he spoke of Vader. "You care about him, love him," she realizes. She has no idea why that sends such dread coursing through her.

"Forever, and he I," Anakin answers firmly, tone leaving no room for debate.

There's so much she wants to say about that, argue even, but he won't listen to her. His feelings are too strong, too deep, and she doesn't understand them, doesn't understand how he could care for Vader so much, more than she has seen in him for anyone.

"I hope you don't want me to join the Dark Side," she says instead, "Because I'm not going to Fall. I don't care what you think you've learned, but it seems insane. Dangerous." That was a little harsher than she meant it to sound, but she needs to make sure that he knows how she feels.

Anakin tilts his head to the side, expression contemplative. "I would never ask that of you, Ahsoka," he assures her, pausing before he continues speaking. "I am coming to realize that... the Dark and Light are one. There is only one Force, not two. It is us who have made the distinction. I embraced the Dark, it is true, but that has let me... understand it. The rush of power is addictive, but by nature, the Dark demands... change. It is the end of all things, whereas the Light is the beginning. They are one. You cannot have one without the other and still hope to achieve balance."

Ahsoka blinks at him. "What is that supposed to mean?" This is absolutely not how she thought their conversation would go. At all. But at the same time, she's morbidly curious to know what Anakin believes now, how much he has changed from the person she knew. The answer, it seems, is in every way and no way. He is still Anakin. So, why does that hurt so much?

"I have just realized the problem with the Jedi," he replies. "They do not change. They are the Light without the counterbalance of Dark." Something like realization flashes across his face. "They have unbalanced the Force, not just the Sith. Everyone has."

"What?" she shrieks. Okay, maybe that was way too unnecessarily loud, but is he serious? His expression is dead-serious, but he's not making any sense.

"You don't have to agree, but just listen to me. It's... something I am only discovering right this moment. The Dark Side is not the answer. It never was, because there is no Dark Side, and if we embrace everything dark and evil in the galaxy, it will destroy us." Something pained flashes through his eyes, but it's gone so fast that she wonders if she just imagined it.

Anakin slowly inhales, turning to face her, expression intent, focused. "The Jedi reject change, and that is what has made them so vulnerable. Refusing to accept the natural order of things leads to holding onto emotions. Anger. Guilt. Fear. Whatever it may be. And that leads the Jedi straight to the Dark. Balance, true balance, comes from accepting that everything will change, end, and coming to terms with that, no matter how difficult." There is some inscrutable, unfathomable emotion in his eyes which she can't make sense of, but nor does she try, too mind-blown by his words.

"It is terrifying," Ahsoka says flatly when she finally finds her voice, "How much sense you are making when you are contradicting everything you ever taught me."

"I take that as a compliment," he smirks.

"What about Vader?" she queries, curious. "Does he agree with what you just said?"

If she hadn't been looking at him, she would have missed the flash of raw, unbridled grief in his eyes, a pain so deep that it makes her hurt just from seeing it. And it stuns her because what could possibly have evoked such a response?

"I have not yet spoken to him," Anakin admits, "But I will." He smiles, but it seems forced. "Perhaps we could do it together. Talk to him. Try to... convince him. What do you say?"

Well, why not? It's not as if she has anything better to do, and she's curious now, and worried, about what it is that Anakin is hiding. Her gut tells her that it's something huge, something important, and she badly wants to know, no matter how much Anakin's words are echoing through her mind as a warning of sorts.

"I have seen things I cannot unsee, learned things I cannot unlearn, but I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"Sure," she agrees, shrugging. "I'm still angry at Vader, but... this might be fun. Besides, I have a lot of questions, and I want answers, answers which I doubt you'll give me."

The glint of mischief in his expression sets her on edge. "The answers you'll get depend on the questions which you wish to ask."

It should be terrifying how, after coming to Anakin for answers and after facing his kindness again, despite having gotten almost no answers, Ahsoka doesn't feel upset at him anymore. Instead, she just misses him, and she wants to spend more time with him, even if that means having to see Vader again. Besides, there must be something about Vader which has made Anakin care for him so deeply, and she wants to know more.

She rolls her eyes at him. "Don't be so mysterious."

He smirks again. "You make needling you so much fun, Snips."

"Hey!"

Anakin dodges away from her flailing hand before it makes contact, chuckling. "Come on, then. What do you say?"

"I'll get