angst
season 11 timeline
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3rd person but Ian's POV //

   For weeks, Ian kept asking Mickey if he wanted to go on a date with Ian. But Mickey always, and he means ALWAYS said no. He'd just turn Ian down. Treat it like it's nothing! Ian wasn't only pissed but was upset. Did Mickey not love him anymore? Maybe it's Ian's fault. Did he do something wrong? Maybe Mickey didn't like this marriage anymore. Ian was overwhelmed. 'Maybe I'm overreacting.' Ian usually thought to himself, 'It's not that big of a deal, right?' He was getting more upset, and more angry. He tried spoiling Mickey, being extra nice to him, sweet talking him and doing all the things Mickey likes!

Ian didn't know what was wrong. Was Ian in the wrong? Maybe he was over pressuring Mick.

Ian kept asking Mickey, over and over again. He was being clingy to Mickey. Maybe Mickey didn't want him anymore.

Ian felt insecure.

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two days pass

Ian was stressed from work. He was struggling, he needed time alone with Mickey, with his husband.

"Hey, Mick.." Ian said with a sigh, sitting next to his beloved husband with a smile. "Hi." Mickey said, not even bothering to look at Ian. He sighed. Sounded like an annoyed sighed. "Mickey, do you wanna go on a date tonight-" Mickey cut him off. "No. Ian I already told you that's gay as fuck." Mickey said, saying it like it wasn't nothing

Ian got up. He just left the room. Went somewhere Mickey couldn't hear him, he was feeling pure anger but completely upset. He wanted to calm down and not hurt Mickey. Ian's really matured. If he wasn't in a good state of mind, he would've just yelled at Mickey and hurt him. Ian wouldn't do that now. Well... depends what mood he's in. But Ian was just upset now.
Ian hasn't seen Mickey like this for years. Denying Ian. Making Ian feel left behind just because they're gay. Maybe Mickey didn't want other people to see them in public. They've been having sex, but it wasn't nothing, Mickey treated him like a one night stand. He didn't even talk. Would pull his head away when Ian kissed his neck.

Mickey didn't even bother to look for him.

Maybe Mickey didn't wanna see himself be 'too gay' with his husband.
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After Ian bawled his eyes out, crying for hours and overthinking, he was overwhelmed.

And pissed.

Mickey, still giving Ian the silent treatment, in their room, doing whatever the fuck.

Ian walked into the room, not looking at Mickey and it pained him to do that but he just couldn't look at him that moment. He sat next to Mickey on the bed, he leaned into him to kiss his husband. Wanted to see if Mickey gave him comfort.

"I missed you, Mick.. I've been really tired and stressed.." Ian mumbled, his face nuzzled into Mickey's neck, "I love you." Ian spoke softly. Mickey didn't move, didn't respond with nothing but "Mhm." That was it for Ian. He was done. Mickey sounded annoyed.

"God what the fuck is up with you, Mickey?!" Ian snapped at him angrily, in pure anger. "What the fuck do you mean?! The better question, what the fuck is wrong with you, Ian?!" Mickey snapped, and Ian went silent. He was filled with anger, his eyes filled with tears.

'Maybe I am too clingy.'
'Maybe this is my fault.'
'This isn't a big deal.'
'I hate myself and my thoughts.'
Ian thought.

"I'm sorry, Ian." Mickey mumbled. He knew Ian was upset. By the looks of it, after knowing Ian for years, he knew Ian was upset. Not only upset with Mickey, but upset with himself.

Ian sniffled, he was crying. Tears were going down his cheeks, but he wasn't hyperventilating or anything, he was done. He was tired. "Ian, I said I'm sorry."

"You know what?" Ian said angrily, his overthinking was gone. This was Mickeys fault. And not his. "You wanted to fight? You wanted to get me riled up? You got it." Ian said, not calm at all.

"Ian, I'm sorry. It wasn't that I swear-"

"Yes it was. Just admit you're embarrassed of me. Aren't you? Like always. Why did I think you'd change? I shouldn't haven given you a chance at the alibi bar, that night you came out to Terry. I should've left." Ian spat out. That was so long ago, and Mickey went silent.

"Oh please, fuck you, Ian! You're such a fucking crybaby about everything, you're clingy! That's what this is!" Mickey snapped.

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They argued for hours, bringing up so many things, even things that happened years ago, that could've broke them.

Mickey wasn't crying. He didn't want to. He was scared Ian would think less of him. He overthought and  would leave him for crying, making it about himself.

Ian was crying. He didn't want to. He didn't care what Mickey thought anymore. Mickey is just making it about himself. Mickey wasn't even crying. Maybe Mickey thought this was a joke.

After hours, Ian was done. He went silent. He was just angry.

"You know what? Fuck you, Mickey. It's not my fault you're ashamed of being with me." Ian said.

"What?! I'm not fucking ashamed! I love you, Ian. But I felt I was being clingy! I didn't wanna go out because I was mad of something you did a few days ago and I was just upset! I just wanted you to feel upset and just acknowledge I was angry."

Mickey knew he was in the wrong. Ian had made Mickey feel horrible a few days ago, that's why he declined all the dates and was distant. He took this too wrong. He was just trying to get a rise out of Ian.

He shouldn't have done it.

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Ian on the other hand was just silent, he couldn't listen to Mickey. He was so angry. Ian got a blanket and pillow, shut the door and slept on the couch. He couldn't sleep with Mickey tonight. He didn't want to.

Mickey knew Ian was upset: he wanted to give Ian his space. He knows Ian needs space sometimes. He missed Ian, he didn't feel too upset, or angry. Well he wasn't that much sad. He was mostly angry. He didn't know whether at himself or Ian.

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Mickey noticed that Ian accidentally got Mickey's (mostly) pillow. Ian didn't notice. He was too angry. Not sad. Upset. Disappointed.

Mickey cuddled with the pillow, hugged it and took Ian's scent in, mixed with his cologne, and shampoo scent. Mickey fell asleep.

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Ian fell asleep, angry. He actually couldn't sleep. The thought of Mickey's kisses, hugs, the way he'd cuddle Ian.. the way he-

The point was, Ian was angry at Mickey but missed Mickey.

They slept without each other.

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1144 words