(A/N: I’m really sorry about the short update. I’m sick and still busy! Plus, this chapter is important so it deserves its own little short chapter. Tell me whatcha think down below! Update should be coming soon!)

I sat starring at the blank wall. I felt numb. I felt broken. I felt…empty.

Never have I ever experienced a death of somebody close to me. Being how I’ve been the past few years, I didn’t even have anyone close to me.

And now Cole being dead…

I felt my stomach flip and my heart free fall to the bottom of it. My insides churned and I relived the memory of finding him.

Finding his bloody, lifeless body at our table.

He thought of me.

When trying to kill himself…. He thought of me.

Just like I was of him.

I felt hot tears fall from my face and splatter against my pillow. Rain poured hard and loud against my window. The electricity occasionally flickering until the backup generator switched on. Normally, I would love days like these. The rain and cold were calming to me, but not today. Instead the skies were gloomy and depressing like my mood. Every crack of lighting and roar of thunder seemed like my screams for him to come back.

Cole, my best friend, was gone.

And I hadn’t even suspected it!

I knew Cole was here for a reason. We all were. He was admitted her years before me for trying to overdose on pills. He was a cutter before that once bullies started ruining his life. A private school wasn’t the place for a gay boy like him. His own parents shunned him.

When he told me his story, my heart broke a little. People are people. They all deserve equality. Bullies and liars are two things I hate with a roaring passion. Cole was too sweet to be treated horribly.

He told me that his first year here was tough. He kept quiet, shocking to me even, and didn’t speak. When he was first here, his therapist was Dr.Alter. I’ve never met him, since he retired right before I left, but apparently he changed Cole’s life. He was bisexual, but don’t get any ideas. He was reaching his forties. He suffered through bullying and depression and his stories really influenced Cole. If I ever met Dr. Alter, I would drop down on my knees and thank him. His new therapist, Dr. Mounty, who we referred to as Godzilla was a complete jackass and was clearly a homophobic. Cole begged to get a new therapist but apparently Godzilla was the “best to deal with bullying issues.” I always felt bad for Cole after he left his sessions, but he never let it get him down. He was rarely sad.

I never have seen Cole depressed.

Sure, he had bad days. We all do. Just some more than others, like myself. Though, Cole never showed any signs of being suicidal. Being here a year I’ve only heard of two people dying. One guy, named Brody, go released after three years to then kill himself only days later. I barely spoke to him so it didn’t affect me. Then towards the middle of my year, a girl name Tanya, fainted and died. She, like Molly, had an eating disorder and apparently had been purging in her room. Disgusting, but still tragic.

Now that Cole was the one dead… I felt horrid. Again, I felt empty.

I’d lost my only best friend who knew everything about me and how I felt. And just like that, he was gone.

I didn’t realize how long I was in my own little thinking world until there was a knock at my door.

I looked over my shoulder to look while my guard, who’s name I learned is Samuel, rose from his chair and turned around.

The door opened revealing one person I didn’t want to see.

I groaned and plopped myself back down completely on my bed and shut my eyes.

“Dr.Sage,” Samuel welcomed.

“Samuel, nice to see that some guards can do their job properly,” the same nasally, annoying voice I’ve learned to loathe said.

“Erm…yes ma’am,” he stuttered out.

“Well Samuel, if you excuse us. I’d like to speak with Miss.Crawford.”

I didn’t hear a response so I suspected he shook his head because within seconds I heard the door open and shut, leaving me alone with Sage.

“Jess, would you please roll over.”

Not up to arguing, or up to anything actually, I rolled over to face her. My left arm under my head and my right lying next to me. My eyes looked up at her and I stared coldly at her horribly coral colored lips that were pressed into a thin line.

“Cooperating for once I see,” she smirked.

I merely shrugged and diverted my attention to something else. Though from the corner of my eye I watched her take out her stupid, orange notebook that was all about me.

“So this is some stupid session,” I croaked surprised at my own voice.

Her head snapped up to look at me, her blond curly hair moving in the air.

“It’s not stupid. It’s serious and required. It’s important to talk when you’re grieving.”

I flinched at her last words. I finally realized why I was being cursed with her presence.

She wanted to speak about Cole. Well tough luck lady.

“So… did you know of his plans?” She asked, scribbling something down.

A scowl took of my face as I glared at her. “If I knew don’t you think I would have stopped it,” I barked.

She lifted her right shoulder in a shrug.

“Maybe, I’m not sure. Don’t you types of people make pacts or some sort to allow others to die?”

My jaw dropped as I stared, dumbfounded, at her.

“You types of people? Pacts to die?” I questioned. “Sage, this isn’t some stupid made for telly tragic movie. This is reality. No, we don’t do that. I had no clue.”

She nodded but still tsked in annoyance.

“So you had no clue about his intentions?”

I rolled my eyes, “I think I just answered that question.”

She sighed but wrote something down.

“You had no clue about the note then?”

I shot up from my position on the bed and looked at her with wide eyes.

“N…n...note?” I stuttered out in shock.

Sage pursed her lips but nodded. “Yes, note. And by that reaction I’m taking you didn’t. Alright, so how do you feel?”

I shook my head no and glared at her. “Don’t change the topic. What note?”

She raised an eyebrow at me, “Are you really that low on the intelligence scale? A suicide note, none the less.”

I gulped, biting back the urge to snap at her. I needed to find out about this note.

“What it say?” I asked quietly.

“It was addressed to you. I thought you already knew.”

I felt my heart stop as my body froze.

Cole’s suicide note was written to…me?

“Where is it?” I asked.

Sage gave a small snicker, “As if I’m telling you.”

I released a small gasp.

“That note is written to me, therefore I have every right to read it. Now. Where. Is. It.”

Sage rolled her eyes and readjusted her hideous off red pencil skirt that showed her boney, pale knees. “I’m sorry Miss.Crawford but I’m not sharing that information with you. It’s not good for your health.”

I jumped up from the bed and found myself standing close in front of Sage.

“Not good for my health? Pop and sweets aren’t good for my health! But a suicide note, addressed to me even, from my best friend is not bad for my health!”

Sage stood up matching my stance. Our noses almost touching, us being the same height.

“It’s not good for your mental health and we all know you already have a very bad one of those.”

I stared blankly at her as she put on a smug smirk.

“My mental state is just fine, thank you very much you ugly bat,” I growled. “What will make it go bad is if you keep that note from me!”

Sage chuckled and closed her orange notebook. “I think we’re finished here. Clearly, you’re not in the right state of mind to talk about grief.”

She started to walk away but I grabbed her wrist in a death hold. She gasped and looked at me in pure terror. Though if I was her, I would be scared too. I probably looked like a Tasmanian devil on crack, I was so angry.

“I’ll talk to you about grief the day hell freezes over. Now, where is that note!”

She tried to pull her arm away but I tightened my grip. Sage softly whimpered at the pain.

“Tell me.”

Sage’s eyes met mine as we shared a cold glare.

“Cleary, I was correct about your mental state. You’re a lunatic.”

I shut my mouth and started grinding my teeth. My body slowly started shaking as I got angrier and angrier.

“One more word and I swear, Sage…” I growled to her.

“Oh, one more word? That’s a shame. Where the note is, are two words. Oopsies.”

I growled and yanked at her arm, now pissed off. Her body fell onto the ground as I jumped on to her and attempted to claw at her. Her skinny arms covered her face and she screamed for help.

“Tell me where it is!” I screamed scratching at her arms.

“Help! Help! Security, help me! She’s gone mad!” She cried trying to scramble away.

I ignored my door opening and men rushing in as I continued to claw at her. My goal was to ruin her ugly, deceiving face.

“Get her off me!” She hollered as arms gripped onto my arms and yanked me away.

“Let me go!” I shouted into Samuel’s face.

He tightened his grip on me as another guard helped Sage up. As I kicked around trying to escape, I slowly smirked seeing the long, red lines I had made on her arms.

“Sedate her. She’s mental,” Sage coughed trying to fix her presentation.

My eyes widened at the mention of the needle. “Is that your answer to everything? Jeez, Sage! I’m starting to think you have addiction to the use of medical drugs!”

She glared at me before turning to the guards. “Do it. Now.”

One guard nodded before leaving the room. Sage looked at me with a smirk before exiting herself.

“I hope that the heat in hell burns those ugly coral lips of yours right off, Sage!” I screamed after her.

I heard her high pitched, pathetic laugh down the hall way.

I let out a loud frustrating groan before I felt a sharp sting in my arm.

My eyes darted over to Samuel’s and the empty shot in his hand.

“You fucker,” I barked at him feeling my eyelids start to get heavy.

He frowned and I wanted to snap a comeback at him but slowly found myself leaning over in his arms. My body slowly loosing feeling.

“Sorry, Jess,” he grumbled as he laid me on my bed.

I attempted to sit back and but collapsed back down on to my bed. My eyelids started fluttering and I found myself blacking out.