Sebas

My heart ached. It was such a familiar pain, but this time it seemed especially bad. Julie and Flint. I'd nearly forgotten they were dating. And from what I could infer from the context clues I really couldn't fault Julie for being intimate. Nerinin either for that matter, we were all teenagers and adults to some degree or another. I guess their relationship really had progressed to "that" point.

I couldn't fault either of them, it's not like this world holds the same conservative standards I grew up with on earth. My father bought me a pleasure slave when I was seven for crying out loud! Oh god, what must she even think of me? My heart thundered at the heartbreak and betrayal... but was it really a betrayal? Wasn't I the one the betrayed them first? All this time...

All of Lilith's advances...

Even the few of Liz's advances...

How many girls had I turned down while in disguise?

All because Julie was the one I wanted to...

I'm so stupid!

My heart thundered as I raced down the stairs of this inn and out the door. I raced to the end of the block and then the next one. Then I tripped over my own feet into the middle of the road. I rolled out of the way of a carriage getting my clothes all dirty. I punched the ground again and again with the muted strength of this body.

Dammit! What was I even doing anymore! What is the point of all this!

I let my tears run. I had been avoiding the truth that they hadn't forgotten about me because it was inconvenient. My imagination tormented me with images of Flint and Julie and Nerinin naked in bed. Moaning and sweaty. Screaming his name.

It was as if everything I had worked toward had been taken away from me. Was there anything left here for me!?

.

.

.

Maybe it was time to leave again? If they had broken their promise, I saw no reason I should stick around to keep mine. I can just leave... go...

It'd be so easy...

One scroll and I could be anywhere. Anywhere but here...

Any island or snow-capped mountain. Maybe I'll help Kiln organize his library for the rest of my life.

"Doktor Jekills!"

How long had I been wandering aimlessly? I didn't recognize this street. I did recognize the group of students wearing red that approached me. Namely, the green haired dragoness that ran up to me.

"Ta-lisa?" I asked as my vision came into focus.

The dragon girl reached out to me. She pulled away slightly and then boldly pulled out a small clothe and began wiping my face. She carefully wiped away the tears in my eyes.

"Doc, what happened?" Someone asked but I couldn't identify them outside of my mixed emotions.

"I don't want to... talk about it." I said. I was unable to accept anymore kindness, as I weakly pushed away Talisa's hand. "Stop, Talisa. I'm not who you think I am... I'm not worth it." I knew Talisa had a crush on Jekyll and this deception hurt too.

I meant to push her away, but the opposite happened. Talisa pulled me into a hug I hadn't expected. And with her strength there was no escape.

"It's okay, doc. You can't save everyone." Talisa reassured me in her native dragon under the assumption I had failed to heal someone. My backstory for not being around was that I was an on-call healer for the Adventurer's Guild. Supposedly I was really busy with that. "Some people just need to be let go, so you should hold tighter to those still here."

Even though they were in the harsher dragon dialect, her words sent a soft rumble through my body. The warmth and softness that accompanied them washed away a certain amount of the pain. It was a warmth I hadn't expected or experienced before. Until now my heartbreaks were always one-sided affairs where I stewed in isolated pain until I moved on. It was a slow agonizing process. It was my own fault that I never turned to my mother back then, but what would she have even said?

"He's just like this." I heard Liz's voice as an extra hand gently stroked the hair on my head. "He thinks everything is always his fault and he never recognizes how many would let him rely on them if he just gave them a chance." She giggled mischievously. "Which is why it's so important for you to be bold like this, Talisa. Otherwise he'll be too absorbed in his own moping to get the message."

I rolled my eyes. Was now really the time for this, Liz?

"Jekyll, I found you." A voice I hadn't really wanted to hear stopped me in my thoughts.

"Oh... you didn't..." Liz sighed knowingly.

Talisa released me and blushed furiously as if she had been caught doing something inappropriate.

Julie stood behind me. She was winded as if she had chased after me. "Nyahhh, you are faster than I expected." She pressed her hand to her chest as she caught her breath. "Look, don't mind whatever Flint said he was just being a protective idiot. You really helped me with my research and I was hoping we could get together again soon."

I took a deep breath and turned to face her. "I don't see why not." I sniffled and instinctively wiped my cheek. "But It's been a long day, I'm kind of a mess."

"It's no problem, actually can I speak to you in private for a second." She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the group that had come with Talisa and Liz. When we were out of earshot, she poked her fingers together shyly.

"I don't know how to say this properly but... nyah." Julie fidgeted nervously. "I don't really need it getting around that... well what Flint hinted at... he was being stupid and gross I just... nyah... I'm kind of waiting for marriage if you know what I mean. Don't think I'm some kind of loose or easy woman." She slapped her hands together and bowed her head. "I don't really care about gossip usually, but today has already been a weird day for me. If people thought other things about me, I'd get a bunch of creepers propositioning me again and I just don't have time for that right now. You've been a big help and I don't want you to think less of me because of a misunderstanding. Please continue to be friends and research buddies with me."

I felt like a thorn had been taken out of my heart. Maybe the modern values I was accustomed to hadn't translated exactly, but if she was waiting until marriage...

Well she's still dating Flint... I can't change that.

And if she is happy, I shouldn't get in the way.

No. I'm being stupid and emotional! I've already resolved to fight for her even though she was dating Flint. If I am going to fight for her, this research buddy thing may give me the edge I need. Maybe I'll even have the courage to confess everything if I got closer to her.

Maybe, just maybe...

... there is still a chance.