I was about to drink my beauty meds nang nagring ang phone ko.

*insert Fearless ringtone*

Halos mapatalon ako dahil may tumunog. Phone ko lang pala, damn. Nagpakulay pala ako ng buhok. From brown to blonde. I answered the call.

"Hello?"

["........"]

"Hello? Wrong number?"

["......."]

"Um? Hello?!"

["Kylie..."]

*toot.toot.toot.*

Sino yun? Whatever. Nilapag ko ulit yung phone ko sa white marble table ko. I grabbed my beauty med. I drank it. Nakasuot ako ng black sports bra, black leggings ang black nike rubber shoes. Nasa sarili kong condo ngayon. My condo is pure white. Pure white wall. Just white and modern.

Wala akong schedule ngayon. No mall shows or whatever. Rest day ko ngayon. It's Monday today. Nine 'o clock to be exact. Nilagay ko ang baso na pinag-inuman ko sa lababo sa kusina.

*insert Fearless ringtone*

Damn. Uso ba ang unli ngayon? This is my rest day dapat nagpapahinga ako, hindi dapat ako sumasagot ng mga tawag. I rolled my eyes out of annoyance. Pa-dabog ako nagtungo papuntang dining table. Sinagot ko ang tawag ko.

["Babe.."]

Shit. Si Brylle! Anong kailangan nito? Istorbo e.

"Yea?" simpleng tanong ko. Sinandal ko ang likod ko sa puting pader.

["I'm just checking you out.."]

"And why are you checking me out?" tanong ko. Minsan kahit gwapo si Brylle, magulo siya kausap. Laging double meaning ang sinasabi niya. Hay. I sighed.

["I thought you're dead.."]

"Dead?!" pa-sigaw kong tanong sa 'kanya over the phone. Nagkasalubong ang mga kilay ko ngayon. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit ko ginawang boyfriend si Brylle. Ang mysterious niya na humorous na tao. Tsk.

["I know you can't live without me...Paano ba yan hindi kita kasama, babe?"]

Namula ako ng husto. Magpapakilig lang pala 'to. Damn. Brylle has a sexy voice.

"Hahahaha, yeah right. Now, did you just call me to make me blush?" tanong ko sa 'kanya. I am irritated. But I'm blushing, I am confused really.

["Yeah babe...I love you.."]

Shit! Kahapon pa siya, nagsasabi ng "I love you.." Damn! Nakakakilig, damn. I am blushing hard right now. Ugh! Bakit ganito ang epekto mo Brylle?

"........" wala akong maisagot sa 'kanya. I am so speechless whenever he says I love you. Damn! I don't know why.

["Babe?"]

"......"

["Babe?--Kuya! Tara na! Pupunta pa tayo kanila Kuya Blue!!--Wait!--Babe, I love you.."]

Shit! Blue? Fuck! I..uh... I felt lonely somehow.

"Sige, babe. Pumunta na kayo kanila uh...kanila ano...I mean bye!" I bid goodbye over the phone. Damn! I can't mention his freaking name. I can't. I don't know why. Nangilid ang luha sa mata ko.

*toot.toot.toot.*

The phone call ended. Pumikit ako at pagkamulat ko ay tumulo ang luha ko. I can remember him clearly. I remember every single midnight we chatted, we talked. I remember him kissing my forehead at the Grand Ball. Shit! I love Brylle. I just remembered him. Wala na siyang halaga sa 'kin.

Napahawak ako sa noo ko. I remembered we danced.

Flashback..

A certain guy went to me asking to dance me. Pumayag naman ako. We started dancing.

"♪ There I was again tonight..
Forcing laughter, faking smiles..
Same old tired lonely place... ♪"

He had a black rounded eyes. And pinkish lips. And his hair was like Justin Beiber's hair. Yung modern look ni Justin. But naka-gel. And in a black hair. Shit.. He couldn't be.

"So, who are you?" I asked. Ngumiti siya.

"Am I not familiar, Ky?" He said with a smile plastered on his face. Damn. He truly granted my wish.

"A-ar-are y-you B-blue?" I asked again. He couldn't be, Blue. We stopped dancing. Nagulat ako dahil 'don. Tinanggal niya yung mascara niya. At tinago niya sa pocket niya. And we continue dancing.

He's Blue. He's Asul. He's Zane. He's Zane Seigez. I felt a comfort. Feeling ko safe akong kasama siya.

"♪ Walls of insincerity,
Shifting eyes and vacancy..
Vanished when I saw your face.. ♪"

"Are we clear here?" tanong niya. He smiled.

"Y-y-yeah.. Why?" I asked.

"♪ All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you.. ♪"

Nagulat siya sa tanong ko.

"Kasi alam kong gusto mo akong pumunta dito.." He answered.

"I mean dapat isinasayaw mo 'yung girlfriend mo.." sabi ko sa'kanya.

"♪ Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette..
Starts to make its way to me..
The playful conversation starts...
Counter all your quick remarks..
Like passing notes in secrecy..

Across the room your silhouette..
Starts to make its way to me..
The playful conversation starts...
Counter all your quick remarks..
Like passing notes in secrecy.. ♪"

"Sinasabi mo bang ayaw mo akong ka-sayaw?" tanong niya. He look like offended.

"A-ano.. H-hindi ah!!!" I defended. And I looked like irritated.

"Hahaha! Ako pa! Crush mo ako e. YIEEEE hihihi." He teased me. He was laughing.

"♪ And it was enchanting to meet you..
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you.. ♪"

"Ayan nanaman siya sa 'Hihihi' niya. Kadiri, ambading mo." I said. And I acted like being irritated.

"Ako?! Hindi ako bading! I-sampal ko sa'yo yung six pack abs ko e." He defended himself. What he said was familiar. Nagulat din siya dahil pamilyar ang mga sinabi niya.

And we both laughed.

"Hoy! Sampal talaga? Confirmed! Hahaha!" I laughed. What I said is familiar. Parang nasa conversation namin 'to. Oh, I remember! Nandun nga, haha.

"Parang in-aacting natin yung convo natin. Naalala mo ba? Hahaha!" He laughed again. 'Di mapunit yung mga ngiti sa labi namin.

"Alam mo ba, Asul--" naputol ang mga sasabihin ko.

"'Di ko pa alam." He said. And he gave me a 'duh-look'.

"Hindi ko na nga ikwekwento tss." I said. At inirapan ko siya.

"♪ This night is sparkling, don't you let it go...
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home..
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew..
I was enchanted to meet you.. ♪"

"Hala, huhuhu." He said.

Di ko siya pinansin.

"Halaaaa! Parang sineen mo ako. Seen 10:24pm." He said.

Di ko pa rin siya pinansin.

"Hala... Seen princess ka.." He said. Parang nasa conversation 'din namin 'yun. Yung SeenLand? Haha.

"Tss.."

"Hala, galit na siya!!!" He said. Para talagang bakla 'to, tsk.

Di ko siya pinansin.

"Uwi ka na babe, 'di na ako galit." He said and he winked. Kinilig ako. I felt I was blushing. Ugh...

"Uyyy, kinikilig. Haha! Ang gwapo ko talaga!" He said. Nainis ako sa gwapo daw siya. What da?

"Self-conceited monkey." I said. At inirapan ko siya.

"Sadyang gwapo lang ako.." He explained. Tss. Masyadong uggh.

"Hindi ka gwapo.." I answered him.

"♪ The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I'm pacing back and forth
Wishing you were at my door
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey,
It was enchanting to meet you,
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you.♪"

"GWAPO AKO." He said. Emphasizing that he is handsome. Tss.

"Masamang UMASA! MASASAKTAN ka lang sa huli. Parang ako." I said. It's kinda hugot, haha.

"Hayy." He sighed.

"♪ This night is sparkling, don't you let it go...
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home..
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew..
This night is flawless, don't you let it go..
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone..
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew..
I was enchanted to meet you.. ♪"

"Ang hirap naman, Blue sa sitwasyon ko. Gusto mo ako pero may girlfriend ka? Ang gulo. Haha." I said not trying to cry. Naramdaman ko na ulit yung sakit na ginawa niya sa'kin.

"Sorry, Kylie.." He said. I sighed.

"Sorry na lang? May magagawa ba yung 'sorry' mo sa feelings ko? Sana pala yung feelings app na lang. Para ma-uninstall ko, haha!" I said. Mabigat na yung pakiramdan ko. Anytime pwede na akong umiyak.

"♪ This is me praying that...

This was the very first page..
Not where the story line ends..
My thoughts will echo your name..
Until I see you again..
These are the words I held back..
As I was leaving too soon..
I was enchanted to meet you..♪"

"Kylie..." suway ni Blue sa'kanya.

"Hoy, Asul! Nag-joke ako. Tumawa ka! Respeto naman oh. Mahal kita, Zane. Dapat mahal mo 'din ako. Respeto naman, haha!" I faked a laugh. I felt a tear running down my cheeks.

He smiled at me.

"Blue, bakit ganon? Ang sakit? Pwede bang mawala 'to? Paano ba? Buti ka pa 'no? Ang saya mo. Ako, hindi. Ang unfair mo talaga." I said. He smiled. I felt my tears are falling down my cheeks.

"Wag ka na umiyak. Nasisira 'yung makeup mo." He warned me. Pero wala e. Hindi ko mapigilan.

"♪ Please don't be in love with someone else..
Please don't have somebody waiting on you..
Please don't be in love with someone else..
Please don't have somebody waiting on you.. ♪"

"Blue! Sana mangyari yung sa kanta 'no? Ma-fafall ka sa'kin. Kasi kung hindi mangyayari 'yung nasa kanta. Baka mamatay ako. Mamatay sa kalungkutan." I said. As my tears are falling down. Inipatong ni Zane 'yung ulo ko sa shoulders niya.

"♪ This night is sparkling, don't you let it go...
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home..
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew...
This night is flawless, don't you let it go..
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone...
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew..
I was enchanted to meet you... ♪"

"Blue, kung hindi mo ba nakilala si Alyana, magugustuhan mo ba ako?" I asked him.

"Siguro, we'll never knew." He answered. Parang nadagdagan yung confidence ko.

Tumahan ako sa pag-iiyak. And we stopped dancing. At binigyan niya ako ng panyo. At 'dun ko pinunas ang mga luha ko.

"♪ Please don't be in love with someone else...
Please don't have somebody waiting on you.. ♪"

The song ended. I felt Zane, closer to me. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko. I felt a kiss..A kiss on the forehead. And he whispered, "Kylie, don't lose hope." And he left.

-End Of Flashback-

Memories. Ang hirap kalimutan. Naalala ko pagkatapos ng dramatic scene 'dun sa KTV area, six months after nakita ko siya. Accidentally. Siya lang mag-isa. Hindi siya nagbago 'nun. Sa tapat kami ng Penshoppe nagkita. I was shopping that day. And I am still brokenhearted when I saw him.

Flashback..

August. Six months after the day he broke my heart. I am shopping here at Southmall. I am wearing a red crop top, high-waisted pants and black stiletto heels. My hair is in a messy bun. I wearing some light makeup.

Papunta ako sa Forever 21 na katabi ng Penshoppe. Damn, nasa ground floor palang ako sa 3rd floor pa naman yun! Shit! Napa-irap ako habang naglalakad. I used the escalator. After five minutes, nasa 2nd floor na ako. I was finding the next escalator. Sarado kasi ang mga elevator.

Napukaw ng atensyon ko ang isang clothes store. I entered in it. Ang disenyo ng store ay modern. Ang wallpaper nila ay polkadots and the floor's design is different words that modern people do, or kids do. Konti lang naman ang tao sa loob. Nakapili ako ng dalawang pull-over and one floral shorts. Binayaran ko sa cashier 'yon.

Hawak ko ang paper bag ng pinamili ko, aalis n asana ako. Nakatingin ako sa floor design. Damn. Nabasa ko ang salita na kasama sa floor design.

"Chat.."

Fuck! It's this a coincidence? I proceeded walking papuntang exit ng clothes store na ito. Napahinto muli ako sa paglalakad. Nabasa ko ang isang salita sa sahig.

"Seen.."

No. This is only coincidence. Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad. Huminto ako. Isang salita sa sahig ang nakapagtigil sa 'kin sa paglalakad.

"Seen 12:51pm.."

Shit. Damn. Pinipilit ko siyang kalimutan pero bakit? Bakit parang may nagpapaalaala sa 'kin ang tungkol sa 'kanya? Damn! Bigla kong naalala ang mga memorya ko sa 'kanya. Nangilid ang luha ko. I frowned.

"Um? Ma'am?" tawag sa 'kin ng isang saleslady. Pinilit kong huwag pumutak ang luha ko. Halata sa mata ko ang lungkot. Tumingala ako sa isang saleslady na nasa harapan ko. Nginitian ko siya. Pekeng ngiti.

"Sorry.." tugon ko at umalis na ako sa store.

Binilisan kong hanapin ko ang escalator. I successfully found it. I used it. Makalipas ng ilang minute nasa 3rd floor na ako. Nagmadali akong naglakad. Nasa tapat na ako ng Penshoppe. A music from the speaker of the mall played.

"♪ All this time I was wasting,

Hoping you would come around

I've been giving out chances every time

And all you do is let me down

And it's taken me this long

Baby but I figured you out

And you're thinking we'll be fine again,

But not this time around.. ♪"

Without any care, may nabangga akong isang lalaki. Matangkad, matipuno, maputi, may black na bad boy hair at nakashades siya. Nabitawan ko ang paper bag na hawak ko sa kaliwang kamay dahil sa pagkakabangga ko sa 'kanya.

"♪You don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby

Like I did before

You're not sorry, no no oh.. ♪"

Pinulot niya ang paper bag. At tinanggal niya ang shades niya. Inaabot niya sa 'kin ito.

I realized he is...

He is...Zane...

"♪ Looking so innocent,

I might believe you if I didn't know

Could've loved you all my life

If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold.. ♪"

"Zane..."

"Kylie?"

"Zane, you still love me right? Hindi ka Casanova tulad ng sinabi ni Brylle di 'ba?"

"♪ And you got your share of secrets

And I'm tired of being last to know

And now you're asking me to listen

Cause it's worked each time before..♪"

"Kylie..."

"Zane, tell me please.."

Pumatak ang luha ko.

"♪ But you don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby

Like I did before

You're not sorry, no no, oh.. ♪"

"I'm sorry, Kylie.."

"Zane, sabihin mo ang totoo please..I'm begging you.."

"You're not sorry no no oh.."

"I don't love you, Kylie. Never.."

Shit. My heart shattered into pieces. I felt my tears are rolling down my cheeks.

"Never? Kahit isang beses? Kahit isang porsyento, Zane?"

"♪ You had me crying for you honey

And it never would've gone away, no

You used to shine so bright

But I watched all of it fade.. ♪"

"Yes.."

Ang sakit. Sobra. Para akong pinapatay. Parang sinasaksak ako ng ilang beses. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko. Pinabayaan ko na lang.

"♪ So you don't have to call anymore

I won't pick up the phone

This is the last straw

There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry

But I don't believe you baby

Like I did before

You're not sorry, no no oh.. ♪"

"May magbabago ba sa'tin? Magbabago ba 'tong pakikitungo mo sa 'kin, Zane?"

"♪You're not sorry, no no oh.. ♪"

"Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you."

-End Of Flashback-

Tumulo ang luha ko sa aking mga pisngi. Pinunasan ko 'yon gamit ng aking daliri.

Nagpasya akong pumunta ng mall. I did my morning routine.

Ligo. Kain. Bihis. Alis.

Nagsuot ako ng disguise, mahirap na baka may makakita pa sa 'kin. I wore a brown long curly wig with RayBan shades, black beanie, spaghetti strapped shirt, blue shorts and a sling bag. I went to my parked car at the front of my condo. I drove to a mall.

After an hour, nakarating na ako sa mall. I parked my car at the parking lot of the mall. Nagmadali akong pumunta sa isang bookstore. I was scanning a romance novel. Binalik ko sa lalagyanan 'yun. I went to the part of the bookstore kung saan may mga pocketbooks.

Different designs. Different stories. Happy endings. I remembered simula nang pangyayari sa KTV area sa MOA, I stopped reading romance novels. Love is a freaking game. Love is a painful word. Love is like a knife, it can be worthy or deadly.

Isang libro ang napukaw ng atensyon ko. I grabbed it. I read the summary at the back of the pocketbook.

"Would a simple chat every night will change your feelings?"

Nanlaki ang mata ko. I scanned the title of the book.

"Seen.."

Gosh. I...I don't what to feel. I am confused. I am confused for my feelings. Bumabalik ang sakit na naramdaman ko noon. Napapikit ako, lumabas ang luha sa mata ko. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko sa mata gamit ang kaliwa kong kamay. I returned the book to its place.

-BZZZT-

I felt my phone vibrated. Nilabas ko ang phone ko sa sling bag ko. I brought out my phone.

1 Message Received

Babe:

Where are you, babe?

I typed my reply. And I sent it.

Reply:

Bookstore at the mall.

Brylle replied fast. My phone vibrated again.

1 Message received

Babe:

Okay, coming.