A/N: Potentially triggering. Proceed with caution.
Grumbling discontent to her heart, Izuna sat down at the base of one of the trees, getting too tired from standing. By now, no one was left but her in the clearing. Whatever happened on the mission to get Rin to be so late, Izuna was going to wait for her, even her whole life.
But Rin never came.
It was Kakashi who did.
And Minato.
Izuna knew what was happening, no matter how much she wanted to deny it.
The first time team Minato came to her, Obito died.
Kakashi and Minato were together, without Rin.
Rin was dead.
Like Izuna thought, nobody was allowed to be this happy.
Now Rin was just like Obito, d e a d.
And Izuna was alive.
The rain was falling heavily, drenching everyone who hadn't bothered bringing an umbrella. She hadn't, Kakashi hadn't. They were drenched.
The water mixed with Izuna's silent tears, pelting harshly on her skin, but it didn't get her out of her shock. No, she was stuck reading a name that didn't belong on the stone. Her body shivered, but Izuna didn't notice, she couldn't. She wasn't cold, she didn't feel the cold, she couldn't feel the cold. She was too much shocked.
"Izu- na." Kakashi muttered brokenly, was he crying too? Was she crying? Was it only the rain? Was she a bastard child who didn't feel remorse when her sister just died? Was she a monster? Was she the reason Rin didn't come home? Did Rin get distracted thinking about Izuna on her mission? Was Rin dead because of Izuna? Did Izuna kill Ri- "Hey, look at- look at me."
Kakashi gently squeezed Izuna's hand. Minato left after the funereal ended, knowing that he couldn't comfort either of them this time--he didn't have it in him--and Kakashi was stuck in the same position that the Namikaze had been in Obito's funereal; holding Izuna's hand.
Izuna looked at him, seeing his eyes looking as broken as hers as she immediately averted her gaze, tears burning her eyes, not having the strength to look at someone who looked like t h a t. She swallowed heavily, her breath irregular and rapid as Kakashi knelt down in front of her, his free hand gripping her shoulder in a way that told her she wasn't alone, but Rin was Izuna's sister, not Kakashi's. How could he understand?
"Come 'ere." The Hatake mumbled numbly, like he knew where her trail of thought was going as he brought the girl into his grip, his free arm wrapping itself around Izuna. The Uchiha made to hug him back when she noticed that the claws in her left hand--the hand he was holding--were outstretched, impaired deeply into the boy's palm and protruding from the back, but he acted as if it didn't bother him. She could feel how his skin was ripped and how one of his bones was shattered from the pressure, she could feel how his hand shook violently, clenching around her claws tightly from the inside as the nerves gushed blood on them both.
As soon as she had pierced him, Kakashi knew that he was losing her to her thoughts. She saved him from his by the pain from her sudden, cruel stab, and he was entitled to save her back. It was excruciating, with the way her claws were buried in his hand, but it stopped him from drowning.
Kakashi coughed out in agony as Izuna hastily drew back her claws, wounding him further with her aggressiveness, but would he rather have her withdraw them slowly so as to feel the metal scratching him mercilessly? He didn't know which was worse, but he deserved it. He didn't even tell her, he was a coward.
'I'm sorry.' Kakashi shut his eyes tightly for a few seconds at Izuna's apology, his head spinning as the ground looked closer than it should have been. His ears rang loudly, his gaze blurry, and the fog in his eyes not clearing up. What was happening to him? He slumped against Izuna, her body being the only thing supporting his weight, but Izuna didn't mind as she reached for his injured palm with her green-glowing hands, the loss of blood and the wounds were enough to get him so lightheaded, and, most probably, faint.
A few moments passed before Kakashi regained his senses completely and was finally able to lift his head from Izuna's shoulder, no longer needing to lean on her. Rin taught her well. Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin. RIN-
"Its-" He paused to clear his itchy throat, did he get a cold? He was drenched in water from head to toe, and that was enough to get sick. "Its alright, Izuna."
Silence.
Climbing back to his feet heavily as he stumbled, catching himself quickly, his heart broke at Izuna's words, not finding it in himself to answer.
'Why did Rin have to die?'
Her question left him speechless. He could feel his heart accelerating as his breath quickened, panic flooding his system. He raised his hand to his face, wiping furiously at the rain--tears--knowing that he was responsible for this. Why did Rin have to die?
When he didn't talk, Izuna asked another question, one that Kakashi knew had been on her mind for a while now.
'How did Rin die?' Taking his hands away from his face, Kakashi saw blood, a lot of blood. It wasn't his, it was Rin's, Rin's. R i n ' s. He was hallucinating, or was he? The rain washed away his blood, but not Rin's, nothing could take her blood off of his hand, the blood that forever covered him. He killed her. HE KILLED RIN.
"I-..." The words died in his throat, they were too heavy. God, why did Izuna have to ask him? Why couldn't Kakashi just keep his promise to Obito? Why was he still alive? WHY? WHY WHY WHYWHYWHYWH- "I killed her."
He could feel Izuna tensing beside him as her breathing stopped, blood running cold.
"No! She- she..." Kakashi cried as he tried to force himself to speak. He killed Rin. He pulled at his hair harshly in a savage manner, the physical pain giving him a distraction from the ache in his heart. Turning his back to Izuna as he put his hands at his sides, he took a moment to recollect himself, before he continued on. "They sealed the three-tailed beast inside of her- and she..."
He steeled himself, turning around to face Izuna again. He killed Rin, he should have been able to deal with the repercussions, but Izuna got him in horror.
'So you killed her.' Shaking his head violently in a 'no' at her claim, he dropped to his knees pathetically in front of her once again, his fingernails digging into his newly healed palms, drawing hot red blood. Maybe he was begging for forgiveness, for empathy, sympathy even, but he knew, in his heart, he didn't deserve it, and he was never going to get it. He was a friend killer, and he killed Rin.
"No, she asked me to kill her- and I denied." He hurried to say, knowing that she could jump to conclusions that were true, that he didn't want to be true. Why did Rin have to do this? "The seal was unstable, and under their control. She told me that if she were to return to Konoha, it would break and the three-tails would be free."
Panting heavily, he forced himself to continue, ignoring the fact that oxygen wasn't getting to his brain.
"It would destroy everything, kill everyone, Rin didn't want that. Rin..." Kakashi trailed off, remembering how it ever came to this. Swallowing once again, he shook his head and continued. "We were surrounded, they-... I-..."
"Kakashi, you have to kill me."
The drum inside her chest was too loud, too painful, but Rin knew that she had to do this, and if not for Konoha, then for Izuna.
Kakashi ignored her, having already said that he had no intention of breaking Obito's promise; he was going to protect her, but Rin was going to protect him, she couldn't let anyone die because of her, she wouldn't have that much blood on her hands. If she died here, without having the Sanbi extracted from her, then the mist's plan would fail and everyone she loved would stay safe. Rin knew that if she ever set foot in the leaf, then not only would she die, but she would be bringing her loved ones with her to the afterlife, and she wouldn't allow it. She couldn't.
She should've gotten out while she could, but there was nothing she could do now, not without killing everyone. The seal itself was unstable, and the mist Shinobi had full control of it.
She wasn't going to make it out alive, she was going to lose it all, but she made peace with that fact. She never even really became Izuna's sister, she didn't see her graduate and she wouldn't ever give her the gift she had promised. Rin lied to Izuna, but being lied to was better than dead.
Rin had made up her mind a while ago now, nobody could do anything for her, but she was fine with that. Self-sacrifice was what a Shinobi did, and she would be no different. As she jumped in front of Kakashi's lightning cutter, ignoring his horrified face, she knew there was no turning back.
Not that she would if she could.
Opening his eyes wide in fright, he whispered his next words.
Blood trickled out of her mouth as Rin took her last breath, her eyes wide in shock, pain, horror.
"I was fighting- and she jumped in front of me- and I- I..."
"K... Ka...kashi...!"
'And you killed her.'
Crying heavily as sobs wrecked through his body, he replied back, weeping and graveling at the girl standing in front of him.
"And I killed her."
Izuna's face was indecipherable, betraying how she was feeling at Kakashi's conclusion. She was trembling, her body shaking despite her wishes, her Sharingan activating despite her wishes, her claws elongating despite her wishes, her feet moving despite her wishes, towards the man she hated more than anything else, despite her wishes. She only saw red. Was it fear? Was it anger? Was it hatred? Was it his blood? Was it hers? She wanted him dead and in hell. As dead as Obito and Rin, going through as much suffering as they did at his hands. She wanted him d e a d.
Her claws teared through his chest, blood gushing out from around the metal as he sat silently, crying and bleeding and in pain, not making a move to protect himself. He wanted himself dead too. Izuna buried the claws on her other hand in his shoulder, moving it up and down and in and out brutally to wound him. Kakashi choked in pain, blood rising into his throat, but he didn't move, he didn't find it in himself to move away from her. Izuna didn't hesitate in ripping out her claws from Kakashi's flesh as she pushed him to the ground, sitting on his stomach and slashing through his body once more, twice, thrice, again and again and again. She wasn't going to stop, not until she was sure he was dead, not until he died.
She was going to kill him, he didn't deserve to live, but she wasn't giving him a merciless death.
No, he didn't deserve mercy.
Kakashi's eyesight blurred, Izuna becoming merely a blob above him as the pain disappeared, becoming a mere itch until he could no longer feel it. He was relieved he didn't have to live the nightmare anymore, he was so damn happy.
But as a yellow flash appeared between him and Izuna, he realized, he didn't deserve to be happy.
Not when he killed Rin.
Izuna and Kakashi had nothing in common, absolutely nothing.
For while Izuna deserved so much better, he didn't.
That was the biggest difference between them.
Izuna deserved everything, and had it all taken away from her.
Kakashi didn't deserve anything, and he took it all away from her.
A/N:
did you hear that? that was the sound of my heart shattering. imma go pick up the pieces now and see if i can salvage anything.
shorter chapter than usual but i had to stop there im sorry lmfao. the amount of italics in this chap is crazy but here you go. poor kakashi broke down completely lmfao. technically, he took away both obito and rin from izuna, love you guys.
prepare for even more heartbreak next chapter. like, extra more angsty chap which is making me panic and cry before i even write it, just thinking about it.
don't forget to add this to your library, vote and comment! thanks for reading!!
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