05|Feels Like the First Time

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***

An entire month had gone by since the last time I saw Roy. It was Friday, the usual time that I was usually visiting him and with Jade of at school I had to keep my mind off everything Roy.

So, I was taking a seat at an empty table after just having bought my coffee. Slipping my wallet inside, I began to pull out my laptop and a pile of folders to get an early start on work. Kendra was going to go on break in a couple of minutes and I was expecting for her to tell me all about her date with Carter.

Just as I was starting to get into the mindset to work, I turned around as I got the feeling that someone was coming up behind. Knowing it wasn't anyone that I knew, because of their footsteps.

Just as I expected a complete stranger was standing beside me, looking completely startles. His right hand was out, like he was was ready to tap my shoulder. Whatever look I had on my face made him immediately drop his hand to his side. He seemed at a complete loss of words.

"Hi, sorry. Is this yours?" He finally said as he held up my wallet. "I think maybe you dropped it. It was just right up there."

He held my wallet out expectantly, and for some reason I hesitated. Reasonably, I knew that was my wallet. Except I could almost vividly remember putting it in my purse and zipping it up.

"Yeah, I didn't even realize I dropped it." I said quickly, ignoring the odd feeling. Being raised in the League of Assassins, was more that learning how to fight. It also raised you how to read people and situations. And although this situation was raising red flags in my mind. I pushed them back against my better judgment. "Thank you."

When he continued standing there awkwardly, I gave him a small tight lipped smile before turning back towards my work.

"I'm Barry." He suddenly stated as he moved to stand in front of me again. "Barry Allen."

Barry smiled brightly at me as he extended his hand. I shook his hand slowly, unsure of what exactly was happening. Or what he seemed to be expecting from me. "Diane Crock."

"Sorry, I was a little awkward moments ago." He began to explain, and I could practically feel the nervous energy radiating off of him. "It seemed a little weird, so I thought I should introduce myself."

"Don't worry about it." I assured him. "Thank you again."

At this point I was expecting him to accept my gratitude and leave. But he remained where he was standing, seeming very unsure of himself.

"You know what? Uh, would you wanna get a coffee?" He suddenly asked, before seeming to mentally scold himself. "I mean, I know you're having a coffee right now. I meant, like, you know, at a different time. With me." Barry quickly added, as if that detail wasn't obvious. And I was about to nicely reject his offer before he continued. "Or it doesn't even have to be a coffee. It could be any kind of beverage, like a wine or a beer, or...not that I wanna get you drunk. We we could get iced tea. Do you like iced tea? Do would you wanna get an iced tea with me? "

I felt myself involuntarily blink a couple of times trying to process everything he just said. Regardless of everything I still found his excited energy amusing, and had to stop myself from laughing. He must have noticed this as he smiled at more more brightly. If that was possible.

"Um." I began not completely sure about what my answer was going to be. But as I looked at him, that uneasy feeling I felt when I first saw him disappeared. There was something about his eyes and the way he was looking at me that made my thoughts run a million miles per hour. And regardless of the fact that I didn't know a single thing about this man, it still felt that I knew him in some way. "Yes."

"Yeah?" Barry said breathlessly, as he visibly relaxed.

"Yes, I would like to get an iced tea with you." I said finally able to form a whole sentence.

Barry on the other hand, who didn't seem to have an off switch moments ago seemed to lose all ability to form complete sentences. "Okay."

There was something about how awkward he was that made me smile. "Barry Allen are you always like this?" I found myself saying.

"Like what?"

The truth being I didn't even know. "Nothing." I ended up saying. "You're very adorable Barry. I look forward to that...iced tea."

"Me too." He replied, with what seemed to be his signature smile and was about to walk away.

"Barry." I said before he got too far, and he immediately turned around. A part of me felt stupid because if I let him just walk away, I wouldn't have to go on that date. But that other part of me felt like I shouldn't let that happen.

"Yeah?"

I hesitated for just a moment before I continued. "So...do you already have my number?" I asked, and he seemed to stiffen at me words. "Or how do you plan on calling me?"

"Right." He said as to took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. "I'm just a little nervous if you couldn't already tell."

I typed in my number before handing it over him. "No, I really couldn't."

Barry laughed as he scratched the beck of his neck awkwardly. "I'll call you. I mean obviously I'll call you. I'd be stupid if I didn't."

"Nice meeting you Barry." I said quickly before he continued rambling any further.

"Yeah...it was nice meeting you too." He replied, before finally turning around to leave. I watched him exit Jitters before he got lost in the crowd, going over what just happened in my head.

"What was that?" Kendra questioned as she came up to me with an astonished look on her face. A look I was sure I also had, considering I wasn't really sure what to make of the situation that I just put myself in.

"I have no idea." I answered honestly as I looked down at the wallet in my hand. How it could have possibly fallen on the floor made no sense to me. Just like the fact that I actually said yes to going out with the guy.

"But he asked you out?"

"Yeah."

"And you said yes?" She continued visibly getting more excited. A feeling that I didn't necessarily share, but still appreciated.

I nodded as I began packing up all the folders that I had scattered around the table. "Against my better judgment, I did say yes."

"Come on Diane don't be like that." Kendra said as she took a seat across from me. "You haven't been on a date in how many years?"

"It's not that." I stated trying to come up with the right words of what I was feeling. "There's just something about him..."

"Yeah. That he's cute." She went on excitedly. "Admittedly a little weird. But it's not like you're going to marry the guy. Just have a little fun."

Deciding that it was practically pointless to try to explain her the odd feeling that I had about the guy, I simply nodded to comfort her. I knew she was worried, just like Jade was. And I couldn't be mad about that.

***

I was typing up Francisco Ramon's schedule from the next month when the elevator doors across the room slide open. My sister stepped out, and I had to blink twice to make sure that long hours starting at a computer screen hadn't triggered any hallucinations.

"Hey brought you lunch!" Jade said brightly as she waved a bag of Big Belly Burger in my face. I watched her suspiciously as she pulled up another chair for herself, and began to pull out all the food she brought. She definitely was up to something.

Jade has never done this for me before.

"Okay." I said as I picked up a fry. "What do you want.

My sister looked up at me with a mock hurt expression. "You don't think I'm capable of doing something nice for my older sister?"

"No." I replied rather bluntly.

"Fine. Kendra called me about the guy at Jitters."

I rolled my eyes at the news, though I really wasn't surprised to hear this. "Of course she did. But this isn't about the guy from Jitters."

Jade shifted uncomfortably in her chair, and attempted to mask her nerves with a look of indifference. "What are you talking about?"

"You might have gotten a call from Kendra. But I just got one from Iris." I said no longer in a playful tone, but one that was concerned. This turn of event was one that I had already seen coming. I wasn't blind that Jade's relationship with Wally went from one of indifference, to one of friendship. And seemed to be blossoming into something more. Had it it been any other boy, I would have been happy for my sister. With this boy, I was worried.

"She told you." She muttered softly, not quite meeting my eyes. "I was hoping to tell you myself. I knew what you would think."

"And what is that?"

"That it was a bad idea to get involved with someone you work with." Jade stated, and I was surprised to see determination in her eyes. "Diane you've told me your stories about your time with the Teen Titans. All that teenage angst, and relationship drama."

I nodded, the memories of that time surfacing. Regardless of the tragedies that happened towards the end of our run, the first couple of months since we formed the team were ones of bliss. We were all a family, and we loved each other. Regardless of all the teenage angst. "So you know exactly why I'm concerned."

"Yes, except in this case we aren't a large team with seven teenagers that are all ridiculously attractive." My sister continued trying to add some humor to the conversation. "It's just Wally and I. Diane...I really like him."

Of course the idea of my sister potentially getting her heart broken was one that I didn't want to think about. But I didn't want to deny her the opportunity to discover herself and to potentially fall in love. "Jade I'm not going to stop you from dating Wally."

"You say that as if you actually could."

I gave her a serene look, that made her straighten up and mutter an apology under her breath. "I'm just going to warn you to be carful."

All the worry that I was feeling at the moment disappeared, when Jade smiled brightly at me. "Enough about me. Tell me about you!"

I sighed as I took a sip of my drink. "Don't remind me. The moment the word, yes, left my lips I instantly regretted it."

"But why? Kendra said he was cute!" Jade exclaimed as she got a hold of both of my hands excitedly. "Granted she also said he was kind of a dork..."

"He's just not my type."

"Excuses. Have you thought about what you're going to wear?"

"I've been trying to avoid thinking about the topic." I admitted. "So...no."

Jade sighed as she pulled away from me, clearly irritated. And if I was being honest, I was slightly irritated at myself. "Can you try not to be so negative?"

"I don't want to be." I replied, as I started to make sense of my feelings. Understand why I was feeling odd about this whole situation. "You know me. I don't agree to go out with strangers like that. True, Roy was in the picture then... but there was something about him. Like...I felt I could trust him. Like I already knew him somehow. How does one feel like that about a stranger?"

Jade was about to reply, and already knowing what she was going to say. I continued.

"And no. It wasn't attraction." I immediately corrected, realizing how my previous words must have sounded. "Because, I didn't feel that. It was something else."

"I guess you'll find out what that something else is when you go on that date."

"I guess you're right." I replied though I couldn't stop thinking about the way he looked at me. Almost like he knew me too. But, there was more than that in his gaze. He looked at me like I was some sort of miracle.

It was the kind of look someone gave to a person they deeply loved. It was a look that people craved their partners to look at them with.

And even under all that, there was also pain in his eyes. Like he expected so much from me.

That was all incredibly unsettling.

***

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