You have been looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror for what seemed like hours now. Ashley was right, it's time to move on. You felt ready. You looked at the reflection of your eyes. Who are you? Are you still that girl you were two years ago? Are you a broken piece? Maybe. But for a few months, you felt like you were more. More than just a broken piece. A real person, hiding behind the pain and the fear. When Darren hugged you, it made you realize that. Everyone had been treating you like a person that could break any moment for two years, that you forgot what kind of person you used to be. And his arms felt...good. You felt safe. It was not a usual feeling these days. You were pretty sure you never felt that safe since John held you. You took a deep breath and exhales loudly. It's time. And maybe Ashley was also right on the fact that moving on doesn't mean forgetting. Because you couldn't forget him. His kisses, the way he held you at night or his laugh, it was graved in your heart forever. But he won't come back. He won't hold you anymore. He won't be here to make you feel safe. You dried the tears that were falling from your cheeks. No more crying. You didn't want to anymore. You should focus on the good times and not the end. "No more tears, y/n" you said to your reflection. You went out of the bathroom and took your stuff.

You called Darren on his day off and of course, he accepted to hang out with you. The day was not going to be fun but you needed him. You went to his and Joey's house. "Hey gorgeous!" Darren said as he sat on the passager seat, leaned and kiss your cheek. You smile and greet him with a shy "Hi". "So! You needed me for what?" Darren asked after he clapped his hands. "I needed you. I just...I can't do this alone" you answer as you drive. "Uhm okay, well you know I'm always here in need!" Darren pointed with a smile. "I know...thanks by the way" you smile back. You drive silently to an apartment. Boy, it was a long time since you came here. You take a deep breath and get out of the car. "Where are we exactly?" Darren confusingly asked. "It's my...I mean our apartment" you admit as you look at the building. "You...you haven't move out?" Darren asks, probably even more confused than before. "No. I didn't have the strengh to come back here since that night..." you confess. 'You can do this' you thought. "Come on, let's go" you say determined.

You open the door of the building to find the old halls-you can do this-, climbed the old stairs-you can do this- and find that old door. "I can't do this" you say in front of it. "I'm here" Darren said as he tries to hold your hand. You flinched and took your hand away, like it could hurt you. He looked kind of disappointed, but you could see he felt guilty. "I'm sorry" Darren apologizes, "I shouldn't have done that it's j-" "It's okay" you cut him off. You took his hand slowly and smiled at him. "I...I feel safer like this" you admit. He smiles faintly. "You can do it" Darren reminded you. You squeeze his hand and opened the door. Darren let you take your time to step into the silent apartment. After long minutes, you took a step into the hall, and immediately you felt cold. As if the temperature of the house reflected the one of your heart. You look right, then left. Everything was like that night. His jackets was still hung on the coat hanger, a few of his shoes thrown right next to it. "Urgh, John! Can't you put your damn shoes where they belong?" you heard in your head. "I will do it, promise" he used to answer. He never did. Those damn shoes were always in the hallway. And now it hurt. They're just shoes! Urgh, that's stupid.

"You're okay?" Darren asked next to you. You haven't even notice he followed you. "Yeah..I'm...I'm good" you answer and walk away towards the living room. A lot of memories came to you, like your life was a movie you could see again and again. The cuddling on the couch, the big fight you had with him one night and your love that was still so present in that room you could pratically touch it. "No more tears, y/n" you repeat to yourself, "That's enough". "Uhm...I want to clear that place up so I could sell it or something but I can't..." you pause for a second as you heard your voice cracking. 'Please stop' you scold yourself. You haven't felt the tears in your eyes, but apparently it was kind of a habit to cry for you. You looked at the ceiling to hold your tears and continue "I can't do it alone...could you help me?" you ask as you turn to him. He looked at you with sad eyes, but not the usual look you were used to recieve in those situation. He smiled and answers quietly "Sure".

You started by cleaning up the apartment and put your old stuff in boxes. Cds, dvds, pictures, everything you wanted to keep would be settled in those boxes. You deliberately didn't touch any of John's stuff, and of course, you didn't even think of going to your old bedroom. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Darren packing up stuff into a box, and you found yourself staring at him. You hated yourself for that. For feeling. Feelings were a waste of time. You hated them. But somehow you couldn't help but to feel. You smile faintly at him when he caught you and smiled back. The time you feared was there. Everything was clear, except the bedroom. You asked Darren to put everything that was John's in the bedroom not to see it at first, but now you couldn't step back anymore. "We could come back another time" Darren suggests. "No it's okay. I'm okay. Everything is gonna be fine. You're here right?" you ask as you turn your head to him. "I'm here" Darren smiled. "You're here" you repeat in a whisper, your head nodding a little.

You opened the door and walked to the closet quickly. You just wanted to get this done. You started with his closet. The worst was to choose what to keep and what to give away. You decided to throw away everything. What's the matter anyway? He won't wear any of these clothes anymore. He won't wear any of those jeans or those shirts he loved. Ever. Darren looked at you weirdly while you just throw John's clothes in boxes while barely looking at it. Once you threw everything, just one thing stood still on a hanger. That jacket. You took it. The texture of the fabric felt the same as that time you felt it after saying "yes" to him. You chuckle.

You sat on the bed, still staring at the jacket. "I forgot" you admit. "I forgot this jacket" you laugh nervously. "He proposed to me in that jacket and I forgot. In one year, or maybe two, I would forget his voice or his smile back then. I still can hear and see them so clearly. I will forget it" you guess as you look anxiously. Tears once more filled your eyes and you couldn't hold those this time. You were stupid to think you could move on. Darren took you by the elbows and made you stand up. You sniff and let the tears slide down your cheeks. Darren took the jacket from you and held it to you. You put it on and catch John's smell. Coffee and his colonge. It was still there. Two years later. Darren put it correctly on you and zipped it on. "You won't forget. I know you won't let that happen. You might doubt it today, but tomorrow you won't anymore" he explains. "And even if you move on, even if you move to a country far away or let another guy find the path of your heart, he will always be there. And all those little things too" Darren said. You nod and bite your lips a little to stop the tears from falling. "So lift up your head" he left your chin and made you look at him. The sunset just started and gave his eyes a twinkle you couldn't resist. "Dry your tears" he brushed away with his thumb. "You can do it. If you don't believe in yourself and your unbelievable strengh, I do. And you trust me, right?" Darren asked. You nodded and looked back at his eyes. Something was special about him, you didn't quite know what yet, but he was. He took you in his arms and the safety feeling came back. "I believe in you" he whispered in your ear. Somehow, it meant more than anything you heard these past two years.