You woke up the next day, still feeling tired. Like always. It's like dreams are more peaceful than reality. You turned towards the other half of the bed and it was empty. No John. No lovers. No fiancé. Of course. What did you except? From him to magically appear and say "Oh here you are, I've been looking for you forever" ? You roll your eyes and stretch. It was just another day, another horrible day of your life. You cried and hopelessly waited for something to happen when of course, nothing could. It was like a routine for you now. And on the top of that, your argument with Ashley yesterday was bothering you. You were not really the kind of person to blame someone for hours or days, they say "sorry" and that's it, move on. But it feels like you had trouble with that lately. You knew she was right, you needed to move on. But it was impossible for you, even unbelievable. How could you forget? How could you spend the rest of your life happy, knowing that this happened?

You woke up, took a shower and got dressed. Today was grocery day and it was your turn. Ashley wasn't even there, she was working today. You took the list from the fridge, your purse and went out and walked to the closest Whole Foods. Walking on the street of Los Angeles was the most peaceful thing to you, even better than sleeping. No thoughts, the suns and lives around you. Peace. You went to buy everything Ashley and you put on the list and went back to your steps to your appartement. But something on the way caught your eyes. A huge poster in one of the street. "Do not miss their reunion!" was written in big letters, and what you could assume was the name of a show was also written. Glee. Those kind of posters are all over the town, it was not rare to see one. But this one got your attention more than others. On the poster was someone you knew. Or at least, someone you thought you knew. Just to be sure, you took your phone and googled "Darren Criss".

And there you go. Pages and pages about his projects, his part of Glee and his Broadway run. And the guy told he was just a fucking ordinary musican! You dialed his number, crossing your fingers for him to answer. You walk back to the apartement, the phone still pressed against your ear. "Hello Mademoiselle" a manly voice answered through the phone. "Mr Anderson?" you joke. "What did you call me?" Darren asked. He probably thought he didn't hear right. "You're not Blaine Anderson? Oops, sorry" you say. A smirk couldn't leave your face. "Oh fuck..." Darren sighed before giggling. "Why you haven't told me?" you ask. Your tone refleted excitement and a fake offense. "There is nothing to say actually" Darren claimed shyly. "You completely forgot to mention that you were an actor, plus a pretty succesful one, on a TV show that, and I quote TVLine here 'Change the image of teens in television for ever'" you say. Darren laughed and asked "Did you google me?". "I had to! You didn't say anything!" you shouted on the streets. People turned to you but you didn't care. One of your friends made it and you had no idea. You were so happy for him. "Really there's nothing to say! I'm just an ordinary guy who got lucky" he explained. "Oh fuck your humility Darren!" you say. You put the bags down to search for your house keys in your purse. "You had a fucking first single of the billboard chart and ever since you're kinda the star of the show. Plus, you're considered as one of the people who introduced gay community on television, and you're the first with your co-worker to represent gay teens on TV. That's a lot for just a lucky guy" you rambled. "Woah...you really did google me" Darren chuckled. You finally found your keys and opened the door. "Yep!" you say proudly. "Plus, you've been on Broadway! I'm the biggest Broadway shit!" you say. The whole apartement was filled with musicals and Broadway bills. You closed the door behind you after putting the bags in. "No way! I'm the biggest Broadway shit!" Darren claimed. You unpack the bags and argued for hours with Darren about who was the biggest Broadway baby. And you won. So bad. Even if he didn't admit it yet.

The whole day passed by and you just chilled, watching episodes of Glee where Darren was featured in and texted him all day long. He was a very nice guy. And he wasn't like the others, asking you why you cried and wanted explanations. No, he was patient. He never asked. He was probably one of the few who actually waited for you to come to him instead of pushing you to say things you don't want. And there you are, back on the peaceful place, your bed. You got under the sheets and eyed the light of your nightstand.

And you found yourself looking at that picture, all over again, like every night for the last two years, like you discovered it over and over again each night. You took the picture and put it on the pillow beside you. Like if he was there. "Hi baby" you say to the picture. Sometimes you felt crazy for talking to a picture for hours, but it was the only way for you to talk to him. And who knows? Maybe he listened... "I...I found out one of my friends was famous today! I had no idea! That was fun...I'm sure you would have loved him. He reminds me of you sometimes. He's a very goofy guy too" you say. You looked at the picture like something would happen, like every night. But nothing happened. Just the lifeless picture of this tall handsome guy. Yours. Forever. "I miss you so much John...I wish you would still be here with me..." you sighed. "Ashley told me I should move on from you. But I don't want to. I don't forget what we had. I want to remember the way you loved me for the rest of my life. I don't need someone to kiss me or cuddle me, I want you to do it so. But you can't anymore...and I don't want anybody to take your place. I love you so much...I always did" you continue. Tears were running down your cheeks almost naturally. "I still wear your ring you know" you chuckle. "It's so perfect...it was perfect. I don't want to forget this or to forget you" you explain. The smile of your late fiancé was shining on you from the frame. "You won't" Ashley said from the door. She was standing there, she seemed kind of moved. "I didn't mean to tell you to forget him. I don't want you to" she said as she sat on the bed in front of you. You sat too and looked down. "I want you to move on like we all did. To stop talking at a picture, to meet people, to date again. To live. What you had with him was very special and maybe you're right, maybe you won't find anything who will be like what you two had, but maybe it will be good too. Different but awesome" she said. She took your hands and squeezed them tightly. "You shouldn't be living in the past. He wouldn't want that. He would wanted to see you smile and happy or to hear you laugh. He loved you, y/n" she kept saying. More tears filled your eyes suddenly. He was the best thing you have ever had, why did he had to disappear? "Come on" Ashley said as she took you in her arms. She lay down with you and stayed with you the whole night, letting you cry to sleep and fall exhausted into her reassuring arms.