The second the bell rings I burst through the doors and out into the streets in a rush to get to the only place I don't interact with my peers. It takes a few minutes to get there and I could take the bus to my destination but that would mean that I'd have to see people I don't want to encounter, and it would only cause me more harm. I'm actually glad that Louis' Diner isn't as popular and frequently visited as Starbucks or Denny's because if not I'd be locked up in my room all day. Although, in a way I already do that just so I can avoid everyone, but in the end I can't even fool myself. Everywhere I go I see them. They're like ghosts who haunt me twenty-four-seven.

Sometimes I can't even get a wink of sleep because of my ghosts that simply enjoy haunting me every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year. It's an endless tumultuous cycle, and I desperately want it to stop before I lose my mind. Unfortunately, I think I already did.

Yet somehow I keep driving down the road with a tight grip on the steering wheel because I know that the second I loosen it for even a fraction of a second my ghosts and demons will take advantage and take hold of it, steering me off course. And the crash will be inevitable. I just know it. There are just some things in life that you just have a feeling deep and strong within you that  tells you your future whether or not you decide to listen to it. It's one of the reasons why I listen more to my heart than my head, although I'll admit that your emotions can cloud your judgement at times when you need to make a serious decision.

Entering the diner I notice a few couples sitting in tables and booths laughing and chatting about nothing and everything. Catching Louis' gaze I wave at him and flash him a smile. The thirty-something man greets me as well and indicates me to sit down in one of his bright red counter height swivel stools. Following his gestures I walk over to one of the stools that is empty and right across from Louis silently. I lay my backpack down next to my stool before looking up at Louis' slightly chubby and tinted pink face.

Since I started coming here about three years ago, Louis is probably the only person who has heard my voice regularly which is something I'm quite surprised about considering that Ma has to go through a couple days or even weeks until she can hear me say something. And even then it's usually just a one word answer until another long cycle of silence comes over me. However, I don't tell him anything about my problems since it's something he probably doesn't want to concern himself with. Instead I tell him about almost anything else but my problems at school, at home, and with myself.

"How are you?" Louis asks while he prepares my regular strawberry shake.

If I'm honest with him I'd tell him that I feel scared, but I don't. I never truly tell him the truth. "Fine," I mumble in a hushed tone, almost inaudible, but considering Louis nodded I see that he can hear me just fine.

"What about school?" he asks as he turns on the blender.

"Good," I lie. "Passing," I inform him.

"I'm glad to hear that," he tells me honestly.

While he continues making my shake I look around his diner. The first thing I noticed the first time I stepped foot in his diner was that it has a 50s theme. His diner even has a jukebox filled with songs from the 50s and as of right now I can faintly hear Elvis Presley's voice over the numerous conversations in the diner. The main two colors in the diner is white and yellow and the walls have at least one photo of a famous celebrity from then or a nation wide spread news. On the tables there are ketchup and mustard bottles in the style from the 50s. The floor and the walls are checkered in the colors of red and white.

"Here you go, your regular," he says snapping me out of my intense stare of his diner while sliding me a straw,

"Thank you," I mumble.

He chuckles. "No problem as long as you keep paying me."

I smirk at his comment. I take off the straw's wrapper and place the straw in my shake before taking a long sip from my shake.

"Slow down or else you'll get a brain freeze," he warns.

I remove my lips from the straw smiling at him.

"Any new books you're reading?" he asks while wiping down the counter even though it's spotless.

I shake my head in disappointment. This actually reminds me that I need to find a new book to read before those incessant voices take a tight grip of me. I'll have to go take a long deserved visit to the library tomorrow.

"Why don't you try reading a classic," Louis offers.

"Pen?" I ask.

He looks at me puzzles as he reaches for his black pen in his chest pocket of his red collard shirt, but when he realizes the purpose of the pen he quickens his actions and hands me his pen. I grab a napkin sitting underneath my shake and write down my list of books I need to check out from the library. I fold the napkin four times before shoving it into one of my front jeans pockets.

The bell jingles and I swivel around to catch a glimpse of who has entered and I see someone in an overly baggy yellow sweater, snug jeans, white sneakers, a heavy looking black backpack, and their light brown hair reaches their chin which covers their face. Whoever it is is carrying two huge text books and is looking down which explains why he didn't see one of Louis' waitresses, Clare power walking when he turns to his right crashing into her.

Clare was carrying a tray of empty glass cups when they crashed and they all fall down breaking into little pieces because of the hard floor. The person carrying the two text books takes two steps away and seeing the mess the person gasps.

"I-I'm s-so sorry, m-m'am," stutters whom I conclude is a female that is until I catch a glimpse of her face when she finally looks up. The person whom I thought was a female is actually a male who is wearing glasses. His slightly long hair and glasses cover up the quick glimpse I saw of his eerie golden eye color. The boy takes a step forward in an attempt to help with the mess he made, and at this moment his books slip out of grasp and on top of the already shattered cups. He whimpers at the sight.

Louis leaves and goes around the counter to the front of the door where the male who looks to be near my age and Clare are at. At the sight of Louis the boy's courage - or at least what little he had to begin with -  shrinks into almost nothing. He clutches the strap of his backpack over his shoulder tightly, gulping audibly. I grimace at the sight.

"It's okay, son. Accidents happen," Louis assures him. "Just be careful next time, okay?"

The boy nods vigorously looking simply ecstatic that Louis didn't do something horrible to him. Louis smiles at this and says, "So what would you like, son?"

"Uh, d-do you serve b-black coffee?" he asks timidly.

"That's a bit strong, but yeah we do," he tells him. "I'll get it for you in a jiffy."

"Do y-you want me t-to p-pay for the cups?"

"Nah." Louis waves the idea away. "So as long as you give a hefty tip to Clare then we're good," Louis informs him before going back to his post.

The boy bends down and moves his text books. "Do y-you n-need help?"

Clare bops her dirty blond head no. "I'm good. Take a seat anywhere that's open and I'll be right with you with your coffee."

"Um, okay." He takes a good grip on his text books before lifting himself up and taking the booth in the far corner with the least amount of light entering in that area. He opens one of his text books before opening his backpack retrieving a spiral notebook and a pencil. Suddenly he is reading the textbook while he simultaneously writes what I'm assuming are notes of his reading on his notebook.

I turn back around to face Louis who is pouring the boy's coffee into a white mug. Clare comes around the counter and dumps it in the trash can that is underneath the counter. She takes out her hand sanitizer from one of the pockets on her apron and squeezes it onto her hand tucking it away before rubbing her hands together thoroughly. Louis hands her the hot coffee and she carefully places it on the dark brown tray that she takes to the boy in yellow.

"He's one skittish young boy," Louis comments. "I thought he was a second away from having a heart attack in my diner."

I nod in agreement before taking another sip from my shake.

A few minutes later Clare comes back with an order and Louis immediately starts cooking it while Clare goes to one of the tables to clean it up in case a customer wants to sit there. As much as I hate admitting this to myself I am tempted to turn around to take another peek at the jumpy young boy whom I've never seen before.

He looks nothing like the boys at my school, and I wonder if he attends the only other high school in Merryweather or if he lives in the outskirts of the city. I'm so interested to know everything there is to know about him that I'm tempted to simply get off of this stool and march myself over to him and start a friendly conversation with him. Not only does he not look like anyone from my school but he doesn't act like most boys in my school. The thought of them makes me sick to my stomach and on the edge. I almost push away my shake but that would have Louis worrying about me since I always finish my shake.

As stupid as this is I order a hamburger with fries just so that I have a reason to stay here longer. Luckily Louis either doesn't notice or doesn't care, but it doesn't matter because I'm grateful for his silence. The fact that I'm buying myself time to simply stare and gaze at the awkward teen that is only a few meters away from me is simply ridiculous.

If I'm so interested in getting to know him I have no idea why I don't just get up to talk to him and spark up a conversation. However, my shaking hands and fast heart rate tells me that I'm scared. Of what? I'm not sure. it's not like he'll say something mean to me since from his earlier display of actions it is physically impossible for him to be rude on purpose. It's also not the fact that he'd reject me or anything.

Coming up at a loss of reasons why I'm scared I finish eating my hamburger that Louis had brought out for me a while ago. While I chew and chew I think and think until my brain hurts from all the thinking of why I'm scared. For some reason I need to know why. I just can't let it go just like for some bizarre reason I can't let him go.

Taking my last bite I glance at the clock high up of the wall across from me and my eyes grow wide in surprise that it's seven-thirty. Ma must be worried sick. She is probably thinking up of all of these horrible situations she believes I might have put myself in.

If I remember correctly the last bus comes around seven-forty-five which means I'll have to leave right now without having a chance to at least know the boy's name. Yet it wouldn't have mattered if I stayed longer or not since it's not like I would've said anything to him.

Sighing in defeat I take out my wallet from my backpack and place a ten next to my plate surprised at how much it pains me to leave him. But I have to leave, and I almost face palm myself because of the amount of homework that is waiting for me to complete when I could've done at least half of it here.

I'm such an idiot sometimes.

"Be careful out there, Gwen," Louis warns me as I haul my backpack over my shoulders.

I nod assuring him that I will be cautious until I arrive home. Walking over to the door I sneak a one final peek at the boy in yellow who is still working on his homework intently. I'm actually surprised he didn't notice my obvious staring since I'm not a ninja when it comes to these things. However, I'm a little confused at my internal conflict. A part of me is disappointed that he didn't notice my stares yet another part of me is relieved at that fact and that I didn't appear like a stalker to him.

Pushing my way out of the dinner I start walking down the street to the bus stop that is two blocks away. The second I arrive the bus is also arriving. I give the machine a dollar before taking my seat in the empty bus, and once the bus starts running I look out the wide window at the pretty bright lights that zoom by not giving me a chance to fully appreciate its beauty.

My stop soon arrives and I push the button next to me for the bus driver to slow down to a complete stop. I get up and out of the bus walking a couple of blocks until I reach my home where I'm sure Ma is pacing back and forth in front of the door looking out the window every once in a while in hopes of catching a glimpse of me.

The second my hand brushes the door handle it is taken away from me. I look up and Ma is there looking mad and sad at the same time. I inwardly wince knowing I made her worry an awful lot about me.

"If you're going to stay out later than usual then please inform me before you step foot out of the house, okay?" Ma says before she sniffles.

I nod and she suddenly takes me in her arms for a couple of minutes before she takes me inside. She shuts the door behind her and she asks me if I'm hungry, but I shake my head no since I just ate at the diner. She nods before walking into the kitchen while I trudge myself up to my room to do my homework.

Arriving at my bedroom I take out my homework and a pencil when it finally hits me like a ton of bricks. I'm not scared of what he'll do to me but what he'll think of me the second I reveal to him my troubles and everything I've been through. He'll most likely think differently of me and that's something I don't want to happen. I don't want people to think of me as a poor unfortunate girl who has been through so much misfortune in such a short amount of time.

That is what scares me. The second he knows, everything will change which is why I'm scared and why I refused to talk to him back in the diner. But maybe I can have his friendship if I try my best to keep my demons under lock and key when I'm around him. Surely that'll work. If not at least I hope he doesn't notice the true me long enough until graduation when I'll move out of the city. I know that this isn't true about myself ,but as much as I refuse to believe that I'm not broken others do, and no one wants someone who is broken.