Chapter Three: But I Died

Spike rose from the couch to stand in front of Buffy protectively, blocking her from her friends' view. Dawn had raced downstairs to see the tense standoff and didn't look too happy herself.

"How could you hide this from me?" she asked, hurt. "What did you guys do?"

Willow seemed taken aback by her reaction. "Dawn, we saved her."

"With magic," Dawn said flatly. "Did you forget what happened when I tried to bring my mom back?"

"I knew what I was doing. That's the difference," Willow sneered. Dawn stepped closer to her, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Seems to me when you know what you're doing, you tend to almost kill someone. You shouldn't have taken that chance with my sister."

Tara stepped between the two of them, glaring at Willow before pulling Dawn away from her. Dawn came to stand next to Spike while Xander was trying to keep Willow calm.

Buffy watched the interaction in confusion. She stood up to regard her friends.

"Buffy, are you alright?" Xander asked softly.

"No," Buffy said dully. "Dawn found me about to jump off the tower again. If it weren't for her I'd be dead-again."

"You left her in her grave," Dawn screamed at them. "She had to claw her way out and when I found her she didn't know where she was or-"

Spike could see Dawn was beginning to explode. He grabbed her elbow gently and tried to give her an assuring smile. "Nibblet, why don't you wait upstairs. Let big sis' suss this out with her mates first."

Buffy gave her sister a small nod and watched as Dawn stomped upstairs.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. There was a demon attack. We thought the spell didn't even work," Tara stuttered.

"Ok," Buffy said.

Xander stepped towards her but stopped at the almost predatory look in Spike's eyes. "Buffy, you're home," he whispered. "You're here."

Buffy could feel how much her friends had missed her. She was trying to not be angry or conflicted about whether or not she should tell them the truth. Xander looked so happy to see her that it was making Buffy's heart hurt.

Anya smiled at her widely. "We need to get you a dress for the wedding. I'm engaged. To Xander," and she held up her ring finger.

Buffy actually half smiled at the over zealous ex vengeance demon. "Congratulations."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Spike growled at them.

Anya looked confused. "But you've known about the wedding-"

Xander shook his head at her and her eyes widened in realization. "Oh, that," she said slowly.

"Red?" Spike prodded Willow. "Thought it might go wrong, did you? Knew I wouldn't let you kill her if it had?"

"No," Xander said. "We just didn't want to get you and Dawn's hopes up."

Spike could tell he was being sincere but Willow was meeting his stare evenly. She wasn't defending herself.

"I asked Willow."

Willow stammered, "Look-"

Tara and Xander looked at her, betrayed. It was true. Willow turned to them, pleading with them. "But it worked, didn't it?"

"Where's Giles?" Buffy asked suddenly. Her heart ached for her Watcher in that moment.

Everyone averted her gaze until Spike said, "He's in England, love."

"He...left?" she choked out, hurt.

"Don't worry," Anya said. "It wasn't your fault. It was Willow's."

Buffy narrowed her eyes at her red headed friend. "What happened?"

"Look," Willow said. "I'll get him to come back. I promise."

Buffy held up a hand. "Clearly, I missed a lot but right now I'm tired. Can we just pick this up tomorrow?"

Spike moved aside and Xander came forward to hug Buffy. Anya jumped in for good measure. When they released her, Tara was already on her way up the stairs while Willow watched her with a faraway look on her face. When she looked at Buffy, she looked genuinely pained.

"I'm sorry about leaving you there," she whispered before going after Tara. Buffy watched as Xander and Anya left as well.

Spike frowned. "I'll be on my way too, Slayer."

"You don't have to."

Dawn had come back downstairs, going over the pair. "I'm sorry I lost it," she said to Buffy. "But Willow-"

Buffy sat down and rubbed her eyes. "Tell me what happened. All of it."

Dawn scowled. "Willow bought Amy back from being a rat. Willow was already using magic a lot. Without a slayer here, well a real one-she was the only one with powers. The BuffyBot was just a front. Anyway, Amy got this guy named Rack to give Willow dark magic and she got....hooked. Tara made her promise to stop and stop seeing Amy."

"I was gone," Spike said regretfully. "I got back right before the accident. Willow took Dawn with her to see Rack one night. Guess the bird was getting juiced behind our backs. Nibblet was in the hospital for a week in a coma because Willow thought she could drive with magic and not her hands."

Buffy saw red. "What?"

Dawn looked just as angry. "Giles tried to bind Willow's powers because she was out of control without telling her. But after the accident, Willow got worse and-"

Dawn looked to Spike as if asking if she should continue. Maybe this was too much for one night.

"Love," Spike continued for Dawn. "Willow was too juiced to see straight and she almost killed Giles while he was doing the spell."

"Why would they even let her do the spell?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Doesn't sound like she was forthright with her pals about the spell. We thought she was doing better, love. Sometimes we needed magic to battle the bumps in the night. We thought the problem was the dark magic."

"But it's all magic," Dawn stated. "Xander and Tara are still...I don't know but I see it. So does Spike."

Buffy looked worried for moment. "Are we sure that I came back.....correctly?"

"Slayer I don't care if you came back deaf, dumb, and blind-it's better than the other option," Spike vowed. His words did comfort Buffy and she seemed to relax for a brief moment.

"I'm going to bed," Dawn announced. Once she was out of earshot, Buffy turned to Spike.

"How do I tell them?"

"When you're good and ready to," he said. Buffy didn't want Spike to leave. The thought of being alone right now....

"I can't do this," she blurted out. Her breath started to come out in small spurts as she neared a panic attack. The sobs she tried to gulp back escaped her lips and tears filled her eyes. This was all wrong, she kept thinking. I'm not supposed to be here. Willow is bad, Giles is gone, and Spike-

Spike was suddenly holding her tightly. She buried her face in his neck and she felt Spike finger the ends of her hair tentatively. He was tense so Buffy pulled away slightly and whispered, "It's ok."

Spike relaxed as she gave him permission to touch her like this. He mumbled against her hair, "You're the Slayer."

"But I died," Buffy moaned.

"Well that's the rub, isn't it?" Spike said as he pulled away from her slightly to look at her. "You thought you were done. Now you're here."

With me, Spike thought. Buffy nodded and wiped her tears away. She moved out of the embrace, wrapping her arms around herself and Spike immediately missed her warmth. Her green eyes were dark with muddled emotions.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" she asked in a small voice.

Spike reached out to grab her hand gently. "Of course."

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Hello,

Hope you like this chapter, more are coming!

-Natalie! x