"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself."
— Jim Morrison

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DAWNS POV

I liked to think that my parents were watching over me, wherever they were.

My mother used to tell me about a place where happiness was sempiternal, an endless dream of everything you've ever desired. A place where monsters didn't exist, a place where emotions weren't a hindrance because the only thing you'd worry about is waking up. It seemed too good to be true, too surreal and undeserving of those in our world, because not matter how good a person was there was always a darkness within them that sold them out and made them imperfect. And that's what we were, an imperfect creation and I just happened to be the epitome of imperfection. My flaws loitered from the texture of my skin to the selfish desires of my heart, because I desired to be happy when I knew I didn't deserve it.

I once asked Keiji, 'where do you think your students have gone?', he replied by saying, 'I don't know, but I hope that when I saw their solid colours, others didn't see shades.'. He had always been cryptic with his messages, knowing that I wouldn't understand straight away. Instead, he wanted me to think about it till the time was right and everything just clicked. So rather, I allowed his words to sink into my mind and reflected on the meaning if I had deemed them important enough to remember.

I remembered everything.

"So how do you find the food? I tried out a new recipe so I don't really know if it's that great or not-"

"It's delicious." I said honestly, relinquishing in the taste of the vegetable curry, it contained just the right amount of spice and flavour. It was easy to tell, because my mother used to make me her taste-tester whenever she tried out something new. She asked me knowing that my father would sugarcoat the facts to spare her feelings whereas I said the truth and paid no attention to the consequences. Which could be interpreted as a good thing, but sometimes bad.

Ms Izanagi smiled, I could've sworn her eyes began tearing up as I looked away in panic. I didn't do good with tears, likewise I wasn't the best person to go to when one desired comfort and reassurance, because then I would break the truth in the harshest way possible.

"I'm really glad you like it. I could've done better on the rice, I think it's too soft." She pouted, tucking a strand of her purple hair behind her ear. The closer I looked, the more she radiated light- luminescence was seething past the tendrils of her skin and shone like the first sight of light on a summer morning.

"You worry too much." Obito scoffed, with a mouth full of food. "Soon enough, you're gonna get grey hairs you old hag."

"Firstly, eat with your mouth closed. That's disgusting." She grimaced, before glaring. "Secondly, I'm not old you bas—"

"We have children present, dear." Kakashi reminded, flicking to the next page of his book- his plate already devoid of food.

"Says you." The Hokage's wife, Kushina Uzumaki, scoffed slapping the back of his head. "You're reading such an inappropriate book in front of your students. If I wasn't pregnant I would've shoved a kunai so far up your-"

"Kushina, we have children present." Minato smiled sheepishly.

I looked away uncomfortable, silently moving the rice with my chopstick. She was beautiful, her hair crimson and fiery just like her personality- but she was also caring and didn't hesitate to put everyone in their place. I could see why the Hokage stared at her like she was a rose in a field on dandelions, she stood out- and like Obito- she embraced the eyes, and didn't tolerate glares. But that wasn't why I was uncomfortable, she too had a certain light radiating on her flushed, red cheeks as well as the sparkle in her cerulean blue eyes- identical to Naruto's- but the difference existed. It was the result of the round bump on her stomach that she caressed delicately, and even if the child was far from being born, she treated it as though it inhaled it's first breath of fresh air.

"I see where Kakashi gets it." Kei retorted, causing everyone to laugh.

In a way, I understood how she felt. When I saw the body of my unknown brother, his body worth a few months old, his body now buried beneath the mountain soils, I knew that I loved my sibling unconditionally. I also knew that I failed my duty as an older sister. Before I had a chance to show him the world, the world had already taken him away from me.

So you remember? The voice sneered. Do you remember the way your own mother protectively hugged the poor, little, innocent baby to her chest hoping that he'd get protected from the fire only to perish along with him? Their faces were destroyed beyond recognition, the blood, the burns, the-

"Squeeze any tighter and the chopsticks will break." Sasuke retorted, loud enough so that only I could hear his voice as he continued to eat like he wasn't talking to me.

Releasing my grip, I sighed. I didn't belong in this place, I didn't belong in a place so happy and bright- knowing that my thoughts were filled with sadness and murk. No matter how much I tried to be happy, I couldn't forget. And this time, it wasn't willingly. I didn't want to constantly be reminded of burnt bodies that belonged to my once loving family every time I closed my eyes or lurked behind my walls.

My eyes widened when I felt a kick on my shin. Glancing at the Uchiha, he smirked before shrugging innocently. "Whoops. Accident."

Accident my ass.

I gritted my teeth and kicked him back much harder than he had expected as he let out a groan of pain. Everyone looked at him causing me to slide down my chair, and press my lips together to hide my smirk.

"Sasuke?" Kakashi said in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He sent me a discrete glare, clenching his jaw. "I just, uh, accidentally hurt my foot on the... chair leg."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. "Oh, be careful next time."

"Yeah, I will-" I kicked him again. "OW!"

"Are you okay, Sasuke? You should really be careful where you put your foot." Sakura mused, amusement in her eyes.

"Right." He gritted, forcing smile. "I'm just really clumsy- OW! Will you stop it?!"

"Stop what?" I looked at him innocently, a giggle escaping my mouth.

Wait a minute. Did I just giggle?

My eyes widened. I, Dawn, a girl who had never laughed in years, let out a noise that classified as a member of the laugh family. I stared at the table in shock. Did I just do that? I... giggled? Giggled. Even the word itself sounded so strange and peculiar. But it felt right, any ounce of loneliness that I had felt a few seconds ago instantly washed away and was replaced by a foreign warmth in my stomach and a strain in my cheeks- urging me to smile.

"Did you just... laugh?" Sasuke muttered in disbelief.

"I'm not sure if I heard that correctly." Sakura blinked, seemingly at awe by the situation.

"It seems like you can laugh." Kakashi teased.

I slid down my chair, my face feeling like it was going to burst from the heat of the stares that I was receiving. I laughed, and what? It didn't mean anything, it was a spur of the moment. I didn't realise what I was doing.

"Aww!" Kushina cooed, her eyes sparkling. "Aren't you just adorable! Your laugh is the most cutest thing I've ever heard!" She clapped her hands excitedly.

"I..." I covered my face in embarrassment. What was it with people and the word cute? I'm not cute and I will never be cute. "I'm not cute."

I never thought that in my life, I'd ever be sitting at a dinner table, laughing whilst being called cute as I'm surrounded by so many people. It was just too good to be true.

"Denying it makes you even more cute." Ms Izanagi grinned. "Only joking, lets not tease Dawn too much otherwise she'll probably die from the embarrassment."

Sasuke snorted, as I rolled my eyes. Dawn: two. Sasuke: one. Actually, let's make that a three. I embarrassed him and I refused to allow him to catch up to me.

Dinner played out smoothly, the remaining moments being spent with laughter and adult talk whilst I observed silently, still unwilling to believe that this was real. If such things existed, then it must've meant that the only reason I didn't acknowledge it's existence was because I was too busy cowering away. I was stubborn and I still am stubborn. I was selfish and I still am selfish. I was dangerous and I still am dangerous. It wasn't them, it wasn't these kind people who had family, who had a life, who had happiness— that were the issue. It was me. I was hiding such crucial secrets, hoping that it'd gain a long enough shelter from the storm that was coming.

"So, how's everything been with the pregnancy Shina?" Ms Izanagi asked, as she began to serve desserts with Kakashi. My mouth watered, well don't mind if I do.

"Well... everything is going well so far which I'm thankful for. My little Mika is already kicking!" Kushina grinned, her hand soothingly rubbing her stomach.

Obito choked on his rice, hastily drinking water. "Wait, what?! He's a— she's a, a girl! Damn it!"

Ms Izanagi cackled, holding her hand out. "I knew that it was going to be a girl, I sensed it! Pay up, loser."

"You guys made a bet?" Minato looked at his former students with an amused smile on his face.

"I would be concerned if they didn't make a bet." Kakashi snorted. "Those two are more competitive than Guy and I. And that's saying something."

Obito grumbled incoherent words under his breath, reluctantly slapping the money onto her hands. So the Hokage was going to have a daughter? That meant that Naruto was going to be an older brother and he too would have the duty of looking after his sibling. But when I glanced at the silent blond, all I saw was pure betrayal on his face.

"I'll win next time, just wait." Obito huffed, crossing his arms.

"I guess you'll have to wait a few months since I only just found out that I'm pregnant." She grinned.

It took a second for me to understand her words before my jaw dropped.

Ms Izanagi is pregnant. I was completely terrified at the news. Unlike Kushina, I had some sort of attachment with Ms Izanagi whether I accepted it or not. She had been the one to check up on me, she had been the one to send me batches of her food that loitered in my fridge uneaten because I refused to welcome her hospitality, she had been the first one to smile at me and make an effort to talk to me, I pushed her way yet she came back ten times more persistent. She always had a smile on her face and it terrified me knowing that if something were to happen to her- or the... baby, it'd completely break her. What if the same happened to her, like it did to my own mother? The world spared no one, not even the love a mother has for her child.

"You're pregnant?" Sakura gasped. "No wonder Kakashi Sensei said that you were having mood-"

"Kakashi Sensei said nothing." Kakashi gave a closed-eye smile. Sakura nodded in understanding and giggled to herself.

"A child?" I mumbled.

"Yes, do you not know what a child is?" Sasuke retorted jokingly.

"Shut up." I muttered, suddenly not in the mood for dessert. I was overreacting, this wasn't any of my business I shouldn't care- I shouldn't be concerned- instead, I should congratulate them. It wasn't my place to ruin an occasion like this.

Forcing a smile on my face, I said, "Congratulations, Ms Izanagi."

"You do know you can call me Kei?" Ms Izanagi- Kei, raised an eyebrow. I've known her as Ms Izanagi for a long time and I guess old habits die hard.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" Obito screamed, standing up as he nearly dropped his cup in the process. "You're gonna- you're gonna- there's gonna be a tiny scarecrow running around soon?" He squeaked.

"Scarecrow? Really jackass? I have you know, my child will be no scarecrow thank you very much." Kei growled playfully. "And yes, Obi, I'm pregnant. Unless you want me to spell it out for you if you're finding it that hard to understand-"

"I'm going to be an uncle." Obito smiled like a happy child. "I'm going to have a niece or a nephew- or nieces and nephews, you never know you might have twins- or triplets- quadruplets- or—"

"Take a deep breath, buddy." Kakashi patted his shoulder, grinning as well. "And I'm going to be a father. Oh my, I'm going to be a father- I, oh my god I'm going to be a father. A father, a dad, my kid, my kid I'm going to have a kid. Even though Kei told me last night I'm still in shock— I'm going to be a father-"

"You've finally joined the club, Kashi." Minato chuckled. "Fatherhood isn't going to be easy, but it's worth every step of the way. Naruto's all grown up, but it feels like he was only born yesterday."

"Sure, it does." Naruto retorted, speaking for the first time during this dinner. "I'm surprised you even remembered you have a son." I looked at him in surprise.

Kushina frowned. "Naruto, don't do this right now—"

"Do what now?" He shrugged. "Oh, and you know what's also funny? The fact that you guys didn't tell me I was going to have a sister before now. I feel so special."

The room grew silent from the awkwardness and underlying tension. I should've known he was bearing such bitterness within him, because I was doing so myself. But unlike Naruto, I wasn't an open book. And this wasn't him. I didn't want to see him grow cold from the lack of attention his parents were depriving him off, because I knew that if he turned out like me I would never be able to forgive myself knowing that I could've done something to prevent it. It was unfair to compare the hurt we felt, he felt loneliness and I was alone. But he has a family and he needed to remember that.

"Naruto." Ms Izanagi addressed softly. "I'm sure your parents had a reason as to why they didn't tell you first."

"Yeah, and I'm sure that reason are exactly like the other excuses they gave me as well." He stood up, a cold expression on his face. Or rather, a shield to conceal the hurt he felt and the sadness that was enveloping him. Naruto blinked, realising the tension he had created. "I... I'm sorry, I'll just go."

"Wait— Naruto!" Minato called out worriedly.

The Hokage was a walking sea of calmness; a bubble that never bursts, whereas Naruto was erratic like a thunderous, windy night; a bubble that always bursts. There was a reason why I described Naruto as a bubble, through his pranks and disruption he became a source of entertainment to others, but that was only to mask the delicacy of his skin. Where I had many layers, he only had one because once he is exposed his emotions would explode all over the place. Where I ran to cope, he put up a facade and pretended that he was invincible and everything would solve by itself.

"He's right." Minato sighed, his face contorted with all sorts of heightened emotions, mainly sadness and worry for Naruto. "I'm so busy all the time, I've never bothered to reconcile and make time for him. I've neglected my own son, who knows the things Mika would go through because her terrible father could barely find enough time to watch her grow." He buried his face into his hands.

"Oh, Minato..." Kushina sniffed, her eyes watering. "You're the Hokage, we both knew that parenthood wasn't going to be easy. This isn't your fault, nor is it Naruto's. Kei, Kakashi, I'm so sorry for having to leave, but we need to find Naruto to make sure he's safe. And congratulations on the pregnancy, I'm so sorry—"

"It's fine!" Kei assured with a worried smile. "I understand completely Shina, it's not your fault. If it was my child, I'd do the same."

Minato looked down sadly. "We really are sorry, we didn't mean to ruin such an occasion for you two-"

I can't believe I'm about to do this.

"Really, Sensei! It's fine—"

"I'll go." I said quickly, standing up. I guess the desserts have to wait. Naruto definitely owes me.

"What?" The Hokage furrowed his eyebrows.

"No offence, Lord Hokage. But Naruto needs a friend to talk to right now, approaching him like his some lost cause is only going to dent your relationship with him further." I said bluntly, ignoring the looks everyone was giving me.

You're really going to waste your breath on a moron like him? This doesn't concern you at all—

It does concern me. Because... I cared about my teammates. I cared about my friends.

"Thank you, Dawn." Kushina smiled in gratitude. "This really means a lot."

"It's no problem." I awkwardly shifted. "Uh, continue celebrating."

Luckily, he hadn't ventured too far and even if he did his chakra was far too large to not be able to pinpoint easily. The damage was done, I admitted that I cared, I showed that I didn't cared numerous times and failed because lying was futile at this point. My mind was mentally exhausted from constantly pushing everyone away when I knew that, that wasn't what I've ever wanted to begin with. I wanted happiness, I wanted friends, I wanted to do fun things. If something were to happen, it was all on me. Because I selfishly welcomed this feeling, of- of hope that was given to me.

It was night and the moon was visibly bright and circular in the dark sky. Despite that, I was easily able to see the spur of orange on the rooftops of an abandoned building a few minutes away from Ms Izanagi's apartment. Without saying a word, I slowly walked towards Naruto, sat down and stared at the sky, randomly connecting the stars to form some kind of shape. I've always wanted to learn about constellations, but again, time was of the essence.

I regret this now. What do I say? I don't know how to comfort people. I'm so stupid.

However, out of all things I expected Naruto to say, I never expected him to say what he said.

"Am I a monster?"

My eyes widened, my mouth unable to form a sentence. "What did you just say?"

"I'm a monster. That's what I said." Naruto muttered, looking down over the edge his legs were dangling from. "In the Land of Waves, when I thought you died all I saw was black and red. It was such a... horrible feeling, and I was... scared. So scared.  Because I didn't feel like I was in control of my actions, my body just moved on it's own whilst I was trapped in my own mind unable to escape or speak."

I remained silent.

He continued. "I was hitting Haku like I wanted to kill him. I didn't want to kill, I don't want to kill anyone. But my own body didn't listen to me, I was overwhelmed with such darkness... and the worst thing was, I wasn't alone. There was something else there and it knew that I knew about it's presence. And there was nothing that I could do about it other than let my mind be controlled by a creature far more stronger than I am." Naruto breathed out shakily.

"I feel so weak, so powerless against myself."

"It's not you." I said, my hand tightened around the rustic, metal railing, the coldness of the night air blowing against my hair. "Trust me, I've seen some monsters all around and you are not one of them."

"But, I am-"

"So are you the one who was released on the Village