Aracely came this time. Normally, one of the Bhaltayr comes and meets me down here, but I was plenty happy to find her waiting for me. We've been down here for a while, talking while I lay down with my head in her lap. It's nice to see her again, to feel her warm, soft touch and beating heart rather than the cold floor and suffocating silence.

Aracely took care of me when I didn't have anyone to do so. There's little I remember about my childhood and the first chunk of my double-digit years. Every memory in my head dates back to the first memory I still have of her, but rarely ever before that. It's odd, but I try not to focus on it too much. Coming up with reasons as to why I purposefully forget years of my life isn't fun, or joyful.

Aracely would visit me after her lessons with Darius, and every now and then she'd stay with me in the night when she was too lazy to walk back into town to her house. She has no other family as far as I know, and we've relied on each other for so long that it's near impossible to imagine anyone else entering our lives and clicking as we do. She's been my mother in all of the aspects of the title, and I do recall once calling her mom on accident, and she didn't blink at it. I've missed her, and it kills me to know that there were so many people that the girl missed and she may not ever remember who or what they were to her again.

"What's on your mind, Hira?" The sound of her voice lures me out of the sleep that threatened to drag me under. It's hard not to when her hand runs along my scalp. Another thing I've been left without for two months. Human comfort.

"Too much to voice," I sigh, shifting how I lay on my shoulder so I'm more comfortable.

"Hmm. Well, how about we start with yesterday."

"Yesterday?" I try making my voice innocent and clueless, but I've never been good at it.

"Alexander mentioned that you and Garrison were-"

"Doing nothing," I finish quickly, sitting up and resting my back on the wall beside her.

"No? Well, I suppose I could just go ask Arthur. He ought to have a few ideas."

Genuine confusion hits me. "Who?"

"Arthur. The fox?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, she never told me his name."

I test the name in my mind a few times, picturing his face once more. I think him easily lowering the cloth over his face was more surprising than his name. She said they never trust anyone with what they look like, but then she followed up with "I guess it doesn't matter now. The people were trying to hide from found us, so what's the point anymore?" I guess her brother came to the same conclusion, though I don't know why Darius or his guard chose to take up the masks. I doubt The Eternal doesn't know they're back in the capital.

"It's only his alias," Aracely dismisses. She shrugs, waving away one of the few things I don't know about the girl.

"Oh."
Much as she'd go into every detail of those in her life, she only skimmed herself. I think part of her feared what talking about herself would mean. That she had already accepted defeat - and she's a natural fighter. I can't blame her for still fighting even when she wanted to.

"So...?"

"So what?" I try to deflect, but as always, she knows me better than I care to ever admit.

She points her bony finger at me threateningly. "Hiraeth, you better tell me what you and that boy are doing or I'm going to ask Kallisté."

"Kallisté would never betray – Kallisté!" The little traitor is writing out gossip in her water font.

XOXOXO

"Hiraeth Koranyl! You've known the boy not yet two days!"

"I didn't – I would never – Aracely you have to understand..."

They kissed once

"Kallisté!" I scream at the smirking wolf. My cheeks heat to ungodly flames and I bury them in my hands, pulling my knees back to my chest. Maybe if I curl into a ball tightly enough I'll just roll out of my existence.

"I never thought you'd end up with someone as serious as him." I groan at the dry surprise of her voice. "I mean really. You couldn't have chosen Amel or Malen or even Alister for Saint's sake."

I try my theory, curving in on myself further.

Why me? I thought that wolves were supposed to be loyal and make better friends than humans. Turns out Kallisté is just as bad. You think you can trust someone with your personal thoughts until they go and gossip to your mother.

I mean it's not like the kiss meant anything. I was confiding in him and then having said my thoughts aloud had me getting emotional and I started beating myself up. I knew how serious he was from the girl's memories, but she told me that of all twelve of them, Garrison was the most likely to understand, so yeah, I just let all the trauma and feeling go and I...argh I can't tell if I regret it or not.

Either way, she was right, and he didn't just calm me down, he told me how to turn my thoughts into ones that would keep me from shutting down. I still don't know his story nor how he knows all that he does, but some part of me feels like the girl found out without really looking for it. She always seemed to do that - read people like an open book despite them being locked shut.

I asked her when she was telling me about him – okay so he intrigued me then too with all this mysteriousness – but she just dismissed it and went on telling me everything else, adding to the mystery even more.
The kiss was nothing more than the heat of the moment kind of thing, and to be honest, I'm not sure if I want him to come back today. It's all so confusing, and getting the scolding and teasing from Aracely isn't making me wish that it's his footsteps I hear coming closer. I'd give anything for it to not be him.

Gods I'm a horrible person.

"The party has arrived!" Oh, thank the Gods, it's just Gabe. "What's with the hiding?"

"Lovers dilemma," Aracely explains. I can hear the smile in her voice and slide lower to the ground, determined to sink through the ground and disappear forever. This has to work better than my curling ball theory.

"Ah." He sits next to me, and I hate how they've trapped me in. "Ol' Garry got you down?"

I cringe at the nickname. Garry is certainly not suited to him. "Fuck off," I mumble.

He chuckles and I want to punch him. "Don't blame yourself. He doesn't have the brightest of personalities as far as it comes to relationships."

"Yes, we'll, Aracely would much rather prefer I end up with someone like you, so..."

"Uhhh...well, my lips are here for you if you need them." I give him a hard glare just above the ridge of my folded shoulder and pinch Aracely's arm when she snorts. "Too soon?"

"How about never again?" I suggest dryly.

"Fine – but I mean it."

"Ugh. Gods save me from any more embarrassment," I cry back into my hands.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're hanging out with us now. You'll always and forever be embarrassed."

"It's true," Aracely agrees. "They're all children. Every single one of them."

"Awww, Aracely. You flatter me."

When the girl said that they were all childish, I never would've thought it was this bad. I mean it's fun and all to know that I'll never be bored, but at the same time, I'd much rather be anywhere else but on this topic of conversation right now. I'd give anything to be rid of the spotlight, and that's saying a lot considering where I've been for eight cycles now.

"So have you made a list of baby names yet?"

"Gabriel!" Aracely screeches so loudly that I instantly burst upright and slap a hand to her mouth, watching the shadows in wait for The Eternal or Visha or even the fucking whores to show up and kill us all. She slaps my hands away with a scowl. I'm still on edge about someone having heard her, but she seems unbothered, so I try to calm my now racing heart.

"What? Clare always said that it's always better to be prepared than caught off-guard." I punch him in the shoulder as hard as I can without breaking my wrist, though my still fractured hand barks in pain. He doesn't even wince. "Hey!"

"I guess she was right," I quip, tucking my hand in my armpit before they see it shaking. No one's noticed their slight deformities yet, and I'd like to keep it that way. The pain isn't much if I ignore it. One of many things I've grown used to, including hunger and always being cold and thirsty and dizzy because of all of it.

"Why are women always so violent?" he seethes. He rubs his arm. I roll my eyes, knowing damn well I hit him as hard as a toddler.

"Probably because you men are annoying."

"Cheers to that," Aracely agrees.

"Well, maybe we're annoying because we just want some attention."

"Awww, does my poor Gabriel need a hug?" I mock, pursing my bottom lip. He opens his arms in response, and I nearly laugh at his naïve face. "Too bad."

"Uh-"

"Ha! You deserved that one," Aracely chides. She stands up and I try not to let my pain in her needing to leave, show. Especially since she's leaving me with this wackadoodle. I rescind my earlier statement. "Right, well, best I get a move on. I promised Gretel I'd help her clear out the last bottles on her shelves."

"I thought you didn't drink," I say.

She shrugs. "I don't, but the world's going to shit, so why does it matter? No kissing or I'll chop off your favorite part and cut your hair," she threatens. To be honest, I wouldn't mind the haircut. My hair's a bird's nest, cutting it rather than having to brush it would be a mercy.

I watch as she disappears with a torch in her hand down the tunnel that leads to freedom. If only that freedom was so easy for me to catch.

"So..." Oh no. "You and Garrison..."

I close my eyes, not wanting to see him in my peripheral. "Can we not talk about it?"

"What else are we supposed to talk about?"

"I don't know, I...I don't know."

What is there to talk about? I'm not necessarily entirely comfortable with telling my story over again, and the emotional stress it puts me through is not something I want to go through at the moment. There's not really a topic that we both can relate to. The girl said that Gabe and Ethan were the fun ones, that they would be the ones to fool around the most and make you feel comfortable being the new person in the group. It's not that I doubt it, it's just that I'm a shy girl who hates social confrontation and would much rather be in a room by myself. Ironic, isn't it?

I hate being in the dark cell knowing that I'm locked in. I'd much rather prefer to have the choice of locking the door and being able to walk through it when I want to. I'm timid and quiet at first, but if you piss me off or piss someone I care for off, you best bet that I'm going to say something. I hate bullies, and I hate starting a conversation. I can talk to you if you start the conversation, but as soon as we lapse into silence, that's about it. I consider myself friendly, but it seems I have a resting bitch face. All these traits aren't what you would expect to find in a Sitara healer, but I've always been one for breaking the mold.

"What was she like?" I ask, trying to ignore my anxiety about starting the conversation.

"Who? Clarice? She..." I watch him start to think about his answer, but then his eyes go far away, falling into memories that have a small smile lifting one side of his cheek. She never mentioned he had dimples. "She's too complicated to explain, but she was our missing piece. So was Arthur."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we all hated her before we even met her. Sure we knew of the Ebony Nightingale and the Sinister Fox, but we never hated them until the day before they arrived at the castle. We didn't know that they were coming – no one but the King and Queen did, and as Darius's twelve-man guard, we were furious that they wished to replace us with a single person – and a woman above all else. We're not sexist or anything, we're just big-headed," he adds when I make a face at him. "We knew there was nothing we could do to change it, but that didn't mean we were going to go easy on her.

"Darius met her in the throne room, but per the King and Queen's request, we weren't to be present. Darius brought her to the training room in the guardhouse after, and you didn't even have to see her walk in to know she was there. She had this way of projecting her presence about the room like a commander's voice. My first impression of her was that she had a huge ego. She stood like she couldn't be touched, her eyes dared anyone and everyone to try and take her on, and she picked at invisible dirt under her fingernails with one of her blades. All we could see was her silhouette and eyes, and I swore that her eyes looked far older than she really was.

"There are too many rumors about her and Arthur to really know which ones were the truth, but their skills could never be exaggerated. Darius had challenged her to a sparring match. The thirteen of us against her. Trust me when I say that it was a huge mistake. We wanted to know how on earth one person could replace the twelve of us, and man did we get our asses kicked. I mean she played with us like dolls. Alister was the only sensible one who told us that it was a bad idea, but we didn't listen. After that, we were still mad, but we knew that with our situation, it was better that she stay than leave.

"Ethan and I took a liking to her quickly enough. She had a silver tongue that she never bit down on, always teasing and calling us names or exposing us. She had no care for your feelings because it was the truth, and yet she always knew just how to make you smile and when to leave you alone before you punched a wall. Garrison hated her. They fought all the time and always saw things from opposite sides, but eventually, they came to warm up to each other, even if they never admitted it."

I've heard all of this before from her perspective, but I like the way he tells the story, so I don't interrupt.

"Darius got this crazy idea out of his yearning to never marry someone from the court, and we made Clarice into Lily. The Crown Prince's secret lover." He shakes his head with a smile like he's recalling that exact moment. "Before, Clarice looked like a middle-aged woman, but in a dress...she still looked like a woman, she was just a shit ton hotter and not to mention entirely younger than anyone had ever guessed. Her features were obviously that of a teenager, but damn...we all were a little jealous of Darius after that."

I giggle at the memory of seeing her for the first time, walking the halls on the Prince's arm. Granted, I didn't know she was the Ebony then, but she was definitely a beautiful woman, and she carried herself confidently. I figured she'd be around for a cycle or so, but when she stayed for longer and was never seen away from Darius, my curiosity grew.

Who was the beautiful enchantress who captured our Prince's attention?

"None of us liked the idea of her now being closer to Darius, especially when Claritia made them share a bed. But disguised as Lily, Clare started opening up. By then everyone but Garrison had grown to understand and accept her, and it was only fitting that we begin to trust her. She trained us so that we could last longer in a fight against someone like her, and she always prepared herself to jump in harm's way should our lives be on the line. She burned her arm pushing Darius out of her room to save him from getting killed by an explosive, and she even saved him from Eleanor more than once.

"Day by day she started showing us the girl behind the mask, and day by day we found ourselves not caring what the rumors said. She always had a joke to tell or a remark to hit you with. If you hit her she'd yell at you to hit harder or don't bother with it at all. The most surprising thing I found out about her, was that she could sing." I blink at him. "Yeah. Surprising huh? I think that was the night that all of us realized she hadn't changed our world for the worse but for the better. That night we - or at least I - made silent vows to protect her as she's protected us. We all loved her, but for the twelve of us it was more of familial love - like brothers to a sister, but for Darius..."

"It was so much more," I finish, knowing all too well what that love looked like in her eyes and how it sounded in her voice.

"We all knew that there was something between them that day we first met her in the training hall, we just didn't know what. Sometimes I think that we still don't, but what else could it be other than love?"

I nod, agreeing that though my interactions with them have been minimal, it's clear that the two of them found something deep and beautiful, and obviously worth fighting for. What else could it be other than-

By the Gods...

"You know," I say, pushing out every thought that just whizzed by in my mind because it's crazy - and impossible. There's no use in theorizing impossibilities. "She asked me to do something if I ever met you guys, but I haven't had the nerve to do so yet."

"Do what?"

With a shaky breath, I reach down into my dress pocket and feel the cold metal against my palm. I usually keep it in my supply bag, that way Arkyn or anyone else doesn't see its weight pulling on my dress, but since I haven't been pulled for another session recently, I put it in my pocket. The weight of it has been killing me, and now seems a better time than never to pull it out.

I hold it out to him and watch his expression carefully as the silver and gold pendant with a raindrop and a flower in its center dances in the torchlight. His breath hitches, his eyes never leaving the chain. His hand reaches up towards it shaking but stops halfway, so I lower it into his palm and let the chain drop.

His voice is so faint that I barely hear it. "Where did you find this?"

"On the night of the ball, after we got captured, they blindfolded us and threw us in the same cell. She was unconscious, so I transferred some of my energy to her so that she'd wake up. When she did, the first thing she did was reach into her pocket and pulled out that. She shoved it in my hand and told me to give it to Prince Darius and the Bhaltayr, and no one else. I tried asking her why, tried asking her how I was supposed to do that and what the necklace meant, but she fell back unconscious before she could answer and the Eternal walked in before I could give her more energy." He stares at it, then blinks quickly and shoves it back into my hand. "But-"

"I don't want it, and you will not show it nor give Darius or anyone else." Several emotions pass through his eyes. Fear. Sadness. Panic. It has the hair on my arms raising.

"But – why?"

"Promise." He stares at me with such intensity that I shrink back, but he doesn't let up. "Promise you won't show it to anyone."

"I-"

"Promise." His face goes hard as stone and his eyes are full of demand. I don't really have a choice here.

"I-I promise."

His whole body sighs, slinking back against the wall. "Good."

"But what does it mean? Why can't I show anyone?"

He watches as I put the necklace back in my pocket, then stares at it as if he can still see it with a frightened expression. "It's Clare's last message. It's her way of saying goodbye, and not in the 'I'll see you later' kind of way."