He drove us to his house. I climbed down off his bike and he asked me to come in but I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I couldn't trust him but I didn't know what else to do. I asked him to drop me at my apartment. But he insisted that it would be risky to drive in this heavy rain and my apartment wasn't so near to the place I was. I took a few hesitant baby steps before he clutched my hand and pulled me under the roof. He took me inside and made me sit on his couch and gave me a towel to dry myself. My clothes were dripping, but I was in some other world. I stood up and mumbled, 'I gotta go, I have to!'

I turned to move out of his house when he finally threw his loud, distinct words at me 'STOP IT!' I stopped and broke down. I started weeping and screaming. Rajat came and sat beside me maintaining a certain distance and asked me what happened. I was crying hard but somehow, I managed to speak and told him the whole story from the beginning. 'I'm so sorry to hear this. But you shouldn't have trusted her that easily', he said rubbing my back. I was feeling safe and relieved to have him with me at that moment. But I didn't want to feel that. Although I was feeling terrible, yet I didn't want any consolation. From anybody. I have had my fair share of betrayals and just like those times, I was in my hyper-independent mode right now. I wanted to be left alone and I wasn't. 'That's where my fault lies. It's always me who trusts. It's always me who gets her trust broken. I know I'm stupid. I trust everyone easily and give them the opportunity to play with that, so that I am the one, in the end, they could laugh at,' I said wiping my face. 'It isn't always like that', he said almost closing the distance between us. 'Not everyone is going to break you. Take advantage of you. We as people trust other people. And in that process, we every so often trust the wrong ones,' he said very calmly. I wasn't looking toward him but I could feel his eyes all over me.

'Yeah! Sure! But I happen to trust the wrong ones only. All my life I've trusted only the wrong people. But you see, now I won't repeat that mistake again', I said and stood up. Rajat did too. I still wasn't looking at him, but I knew he was smiling. 'I know you're a strong woman Nitya. You have always been. And I hope I don't have to remind you that you'd always find me with you,' he said that with a confident smile, trying to turn me towards him.

Unfortunately, I was in no mood to take his sweet talks and my rage started talking. I turned and looked straight into his eyes. 'Really? See I didn't know that,' I retorted. His smile vanished even before I could finish. I knew I'm going to regret what I was doing but I just couldn't stop myself. 'Oh!'. That one disappointed 'oh' pierced through my heart. I already hated myself. 'Um... I... I hope you know now?!', he asked me. 'No, I don't,' I snapped. Please somebody stop me! His face now hung even lower. 'You know what? Just tell me why should I trust you? I don't expect anything from my parents because I know how they are, and so are you.' His eyes grew wider. 'I don't know. At times I want to feel like I could trust you blindly. I could rely on you no matter what but I just can't. How could I, when you are also one of those who broke me?'. It took me a few seconds to register what just came out of my mouth. Years of unanswered questions, and frustration, all at once, were now out in front of him. I sure was feeling smaller than a nail but I managed to match his gaze.

He looked confused. He opened his mouth to say something several times but he didn't utter a word. After a few minutes of silence, he said, 'See, I don't know what you are talking about. I can't even believe that I... I have also broken you in some way.' He wasn't looking at me anymore. 'Could you please just tell me... when, did I do this to you?' I was also confused now. Either he didn't remember, or he was pretending to not remember. But he wasn't somebody to pretend. Well, I guess, sooner or later, I had to confront him so why not today? 'Are you seriously asking me? Please if you're pretending to not remember, don't do that. I've come to terms with that. I don't need any explanation for what you did,' I scoffed. 'No! What the hell is wrong with you? I don't need to pretend... Because I know, with all my consciousness, I could never hurt you or do anything that would break you!', he said, and in a very higher pitch. 'Wasn't it you who ditched me, years ago, on the last day of your school, while I was waiting on the stairs for you? You know when we started writing to each other, I never thought, even in my wildest dream, that it could be you. But I was so happy to find out that it was you.' I stopped. My throat felt sore from all the screaming and crying, but I tried to continue what I had in my mind. 'It never felt like I was meeting someone new. But that day, when I saw you with Elina, I just didn't know how to feel.' I started tearing up again. 'For all my life I've seen that girl get whatever she wants. And I just couldn't believe that now it was you whom she wanted', my voice broke. 'I couldn't breathe the entire time I stood there watching you two. Well clearly you didn't care but for me, that was the last day we could have met for the rest of our lives and I just wanted you to tell you that...' I stopped. I couldn't complete the sentence. It became too heavy for me to tell him those things. I didn't even want to bring this up now. I had a lot on my plate and this just wasn't the right time. But my temper. My... freaking... temper!

A few seconds of silence turned to minutes of silence. I didn't know if he was angry, upset, or indifferent. I couldn't look at him. I didn't even know if he had anything to say after this, but then he started. 'Okay. tell me why didn't you stop, that day, when I called you? No no, wait! I know the answer. Because you had to run, right?' I shot him a look. 'Because that's the only solution you have to all of your problems.' My shooting look turned to a look of shock. 'Firstly, you would assume things. Then, you won't even give people chance to explain. And then, like a freaking escapist, you'd keep running, until you get knocked by a truck or something. This is the pattern, isn't it?' I was too stunned to see him react like that to respond. 'But let me tell you, running doesn't make brave Nitya. Having the guts to confront it does.' 'You have no idea how Elina was to me and...', 'Oh I'm sure I know about that better than you', he said cutting me. He knew better? My eyes widened and I scoffed. 'Yeah, you keep doing that but that won't change the fact that I know exactly how Elina made you feel. You wanna know why?... Cause she is my sister!' WHatTt? I kept staring at him. I couldn't believe what I just heard. Elina can't be his sister. Is she really? That would mean I have been holding a grudge over something that never existed. Rajat must have noticed the disbelief on my face, 'Yes! Elina is my sister. One of the closest among all my other cousins. I knew what she did to you. She suffered from behavioural disorder, which supposedly was the result of our family problems. The School was the only place where we could meet. Her father, my uncle, screwed up real bad with my father which... I wasn't old enough to know about that time.' I didn't know when I stopped blinking but I could feel my eyes burning and my cheeks drying. I wasn't crying anymore. 'Ever since you became my friend, I wanted to smooth out the thread between you two. That day, I wanted you to meet her and start afresh. I didn't know if I would ever meet Elina after school, and that was the last chance I had, to see you both getting along. I knew you would come. At least to wish me good luck for the last time.' I felt smaller than a sand grain now. I literally accused him of something he never really did. 'Eventually, things settled down and our families were able to tolerate each other under the same roof. But that's not the point. That day I also... had things to tell you.'

I sat back on his couch. I couldn't stand it. My knees felt weak. I wasn't really ready to believe everything he just said. Because believing that would mean I have been living with a vain grudge against the person I admire the most. He also had something to tell me. And I didn't let him? 'It's not like I didn't meet anyone after you that I felt a spark with. But you set the bar I guess.' I turned to face him, he wasn't looking though. What is he saying? 'No matter how much time I spent with them, I always found myself carving for what we had.' God make him stop! 'I don't know what could you name this but I am one hundred percent sure, that the connection I feel with you, I'm never gonna find anywhere else, and I know you know this too. You feel that way too!'

The moment he was done saying all of that, he lifted his eyes to mine. The fact that he knows he feels something, for me, and he is confident enough that I do the same for him, makes the whole scene confusing now. My heart was beating loud. So loud, that I wondered if Rajat could hear it. I didn't know how to react at that moment. I didn't know if I should even react. 'So, what now?', I managed to spill out those words. He looked at me through the gap between his glasses and his eyes. That look. That... damn... look! And eventually, I smiled.

After crying for hours, I finally smiled, and the reason behind was him. And seeing me smiling, he smiled too. I didn't know what it meant or what do we do from this point, but I was feeling relaxed enough to not think about that.