~1 month later~
Y/N's POV:
I was standing in the middle of the forest keeping my gun close. I just stared at nothingness as I waited for Daryl to get out of the abandoned house. I breathe in and exhaled as I hear a crunch of a leaf. I snapped my head to where the noise came from and it was just one of those flesh eaters or we like to call them--- walkers. I sighed and walked over to the damn thing and grab his shirt then stab its head letting its lifeless body fall to the ground. Its blood splattered all over my face when I stab his head. I sighed again and wiped the blood off my face.

Then footsteps were heard behind me so I turned around and saw Daryl looking disappointed. I narrowed my eyes into his asking 'any luck?'. I furrowed my eyebrows waiting for him to answer my question and just as I thought, he shook his head.

"Well, maybe we'll find useful stuff when we search down the road--- We always search in this area and you know that there aren't anything in here but bloody sheets." I started and he just sighed and started walking.

"Lets go." He says plainly.

I just shook my head and joined him as we started heading back to Alexandria. Silence filled the air as we kept walking and looking around. As I turn my head to the left, I saw something--- a bag... there could be something useful in there and I don't wanna leave it.

"Hey Daryl! Wait up!" I said and he stopped on his tracks and looked back at me.

"There's something over there--- maybe its something useful" I said. He just shrugged and shake his head.
"Come on, its probably nothing"
"Its probably something..." I said and he just stared at me. I sighed and walked over to the thing. As I walled closer, it was just a walker with a bag on its back. Its other hand was chopped off and his legs were gone. I cringe at the thought of somebody brutally killing him like that so I just shook it all off. I then stomped on its head then grabbed his backpack. I opened it and I was right. It wasn't much but atleast it was useful.

"What's in it?" He asked and I tilted my head up to look at up.
"Some chips, water bottles and a machete--- I told you it was useful"
"It ain't much---"
"But its still useful." I said grabbing the backpack.
"Okay, lets just go..." He said as he motioned me to come with him and I did.

We continued walking to the gates of Alexandria and when we were close, Daryl shouted 'Open the gates' the gates were opened by someone I didn't ever expect to see~ Carl.

"Welcome back" He greeted and I just nodded in response not wanting to talk to him.

I heard him sigh and the gates closed as I went to the pantry to give these extra foods.

"Y/N!" I heard somebody say. I stopped on my tracks and look at the fellow~ It was Enid.
"Hi." I said plainly.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"To the pantry, just have to give Olivia these extra foods." I said and I turned my back on her.
"I need to tell you something~" She says and I motioned her to come with me and she did.
"Its about Carl..." She started.
"You know I don't give a damn about him right?" I said.
"But--- He was your boyfriend---"
"Was... Enid~ He was my boyfriend" I said stopping on my tracks to continue my conversation with her.
"You sure you don't really care about him?" He asked.
"Yeah" lies.
"Not even a little bit?"
"No" More lies.
"Well if you don't then its okay if I tell you that Carl is going out with the new girl Bethany. "

Ouch...

"So?" I asked plainly as if I don't even care. But I do... it hurts so much like I've been stabbed in the heart with a thousand knives.

"Nothing... I just wanna know what you'll feel when I tell you that."

"Well I feel numb... I don't feel anything--- not anymore." I said and continued walking.

---
"Here Olivia~ Me and Daryl found it when we were scavenging--- its not much but its better than nothing." I said as I gave her the bag. She started opening it and when she found out what was inside~ She gave me a smile.

"Thank you Y/N--- you did good." She said.
"Its nothing" I said and trailed off.

---
When I got out of the infirmary, I started to walk home but on my way there, I heard laughs--- Carl's laughs. I continued walking then I found him with a girl with Blonde hair and a tanned skin. She looks beautiful and innocent... Maybe that's the reason why Carl likes her so much.

She whispered something to Carl and it made him laugh. It hurts seeing them like this... Why? Maybe I still do love him but I'm just afraid to tell him. Yeah that's it.

His eyes suddenly laid on mine and he was me looking at them. His smile slowly turned into a frown as I gave him a poker face and I shook my head and continued walking back to our home.

"Hi hun!" Mom said and I looked at her plainly.
"What's wrong?" She asked. I sighed and shook my head.
"Nothing... I'm just--- tired." I said.
"Well go take a rest--- I'll call you when dinner's ready." She said and I nodded.
"Okay---" I mumbled and rushed upstairs into my room.

Once I was there, I locked the door and that's when I broke down. Feeling every pain that I've been hiding.

Have you ever felt like you've been stabbed in the heart by a million knives and just been shot all over. Have you ever felt like your heart is being pulled out of your body? Have you ever felt like you want to scream and shout but you can't.

That's what I feel right now. I feel weak and stupid. I feel such an idiot for letting Carl slip out of my fingers. I'm stupid... I'm so stupid.

I sighed and wiped the tears off my face and went over to my bed and just tried to sleep it through the night.

When things go to shit... I just let it slide like its something that I really don't care about. Cause that's me now... I'm numb.

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Yo! I'mma update every saturday loves! This is for you guys who's been with me since my story 'You're my worst nightmare' I love you guys so much!

-Jenna