Based this one in the Song Chandelier by the amazing Sia (I love her and I'm addicted to the song♡)
The parts I've used are in italic on the right side ;)

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"Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn?
I push it down, push it down"

Here YN was again.
For the past 9 years, Another weekend, another party.
Drinking here, drinking there, this was her life and she would never leave it.
Partying like an animal was the only way to forget every stupid thing that happened in her life, and it worked, kind of... But it was also a way to protect herself from any f***bois around her or to be more clear, to avoid getting hurt.

Falling in love was the last thing the lady wanted but even though she suffered so much with it she never learned from that. No girl wants to have her heart broken, but YN was already Mastered in the area, meaning that everything around just started to be bulshit to her. Party animal? Double yes.

Her friends knew that whoever was throwing a party, they had to call YN because she was the parties princess and only she knew how to turn up.

But then, she meet Sebastian.

Oh the German was a prince charming, those you only find in the books, but he was a more realistic one. Annoying, stubborn, idiot and with the biggest and warmest heart in the world. He was a real sweetheart, a man every girl wished to fall in love with, and YN was the girl. But, when she felt that she was falling for him, she pushed him away. The man was so in love, just like her that in the last weeks he insisted on searching for her in her apartment, raping her doorbell, calling her like crazy, but she ignored. She was in love and it was unacceptable in her heart. She needed to forget that, because it was probably just desire in matter of fact, he was absolutely good looking. But deep down, she knew it was true love, fear was consuming her.

That's why she's now at this super full bar. Drinking her third shot in a row. The only thing she's trying to do now is to forget everything that happened between them because in not so many time they've made so many memories together and those, she couldn't forget, she couldn't easily erase.

The moment Sebastian told her he wanted to settle down, and build a family, oh no... that made the girl's fears come back in one flashback. But one thing that She couldn't lie was how Sebastian made her feel. When she was with him, it was like Icarus attracted to the sun. She wanted to get much more closer. It was pure but dangerous.

The freedom she felt was like Swinging from the chandelier. That's it. That's the comparison. Being with Sebastian was like Swinging from the highest chandelier. She felt like she was free with him, it was real she could be herself with him and that's what made him fall in love with her crazy self.
While she always kept worried about everything she did, Sebastian kept her feet on the ground reminding her that the next day was a mystery, the most important is living the present that is a gift, enjoying in the best possible way doing what she like. And he was right, but she was confused. She was used to her life. The party animal type, that was what she really was and she wasn't afraid to admit it. "Tomorrow does exist Sebastian, and there's a sick party at the beach." She remembers how ironically she responded to the German who rolled his eyes still trying to make her change her mind.

Deep down, Sebastian didn't knew what would happen when they broke apart. He believe that maybe she never truly liked him and it was absolutely smashing for the driver. The young girl's spell on him was tough, and it wasn't something who would go away from one day to another. He, them both wanted to feel that peace, that freedom when they were together, when they acted like best friends but also lovers, when they connected their bodies becoming one and only because as Sebastian said, he felt like a bird, he felt free, he felt complete with her by his side.

YN was trying to stop the flashbacks in her head but every time she opened her eyes, the urge to close them was stronger. Her mother always told her to look up, because she was a princess and her crown can't fall. That was something she never forgot and she promised her mom to never ever look down. Now without her she was surviving but the real truth was that she missed her dear mother with all her heart and she couldn't do anything to have her back. Now she lost Sebastian too.
"My glass is empty!" YN shouts to the barman who laughs and stares at her apologetic. "Sorry ma'am." She nods while he pours her favourite champagne in the world, who was also Seb's, Chardonnay.

YN, for one moment wished that everything was just a dream, where she would wake up and laugh at herself for being so melancholic with her life, and to giving so many fucks for nothing. But at the same time, she felt like she was falling in a dark infinite hole where no one could hold her, where if she looked down, only darkness was available for her sight, and not those beautiful stunning views of Switzerland, or Norway where Seb and her started a journey together. The only way to erase the pain is to keep the glass full of alcohol to keep all this stupid thoughts away from her already F*cked up mind and life. Surviving that day and every other day was more important. But if she could be honest, without Sebastian, no bottle of alcohol would make her feel better again.

"Sun is up, I'm a mess
Gotta get out now
Gotta run from this
Here comes the shame
Here comes the shame"

"YN? Hey, YN? It's already morning dear, I think you've slept here. Are you okay?" One of the barmans was cleaning the counter lovingly touching her shoulder and talking really really low. YN was trying to adjust her sight to the morning sunrays. The urge to cry was there when she realised that she slept at the bar. Her mind was completely confused but all she wanted to do was run away from that place. She promised that she wouldn't do this again, she wanted to change but look where she is now. Shame on herself, this was the only thing she was thinking right now. The man in front of her realised when tears rolled down her face seconds after waking up. She reminded why she was there, what she did and how idiot she was. He gave her a bottle of water to which she gladly accepted. "Are you okay princess?". "Don't call me princess!" Because Sebastian was the only one who called her like this and he wasn't here anymore, he wasn't in her life anymore and knowing that it was her fault just made her more and more guted. Nodding she got up and walked out of the club not caring about how her hair looked, or her clothes or even her puffy face. She wasn't afraid of people looking at her in the streets questioning why she was crying.

Arriving at her apartment just made everything worse. She looked at the door not able to open it. It was like the alcohol wasn't having any effect in her system and it was destroying her. It's like everything she drank was transformed in flashbacks of her moments with Sebastian . The laughs, the jokes, the random walks, random dinners, him takin her home and walking her to her door, their first kiss, their first time, everything...

"YN!" Suddenly all the memories disappeared. It was all the present right now. When she finally looked up she saw her prince charming apparently very tired , his red eyes, puffy face, but he was there, he was there! And the urge to cry was building up again.

"What are you doing here?" She asks whispering doing her best to stop crying but clearly failing.

"I miss you! I can't stay away from you!" He was feeling bad for not being able to get closer to her. He wanted to hug her tight and kiss her face wiping the tears away. "Come on, please let's talk!" She shakes her head uncontrollably.

"You can't miss me! I'm not the right woman for you. I thought I told you this before." Those words were so fake. Lying for the man she loved was causing her to hate herself and cry even more. "I'm not a woman for you Sebastian!" She whispers unable to look at him. That's the moment Sebastian knew what she was doing. And deep down it only made him love her much more. "I don't deserve you Sebastian, I don't. "

"I'm not perfect YN, you're not perfect but you're all I want and Need." She looks up at those beautiful blue ocean tired eyes pouring his deepest feelings. " Life is too short to keep your feelings inside. And I really don't care about waiting an eternity, but I just can't stay away from you. I need to feel all that chemistry inside of me, that volcano exploding inside of me, the fast heartbeat making me feel free. I need to feel that control loss when I'm with you because that's what makes me happy. " She bites her lower lip when Sebastian lowered his head. He had so many things to say. "I want you to make part of my life."

"I can't" she whispers shaking her head. "My life is a mess, I just-"

"I want to be in your mess, I don't care YN. The only one that matters to me is you. Being able to wake up by your side. I wanna be yours, I wanna love you unconditionally."

"Sebastian, you don't understand. My life is the most stupid thing in the world. I'm a mess, and I don't want to drag you to this infinite dark hole. You deserve someone who loves you, who can take care of you and that's not me..."

"Stop lying for yourself. You know It is you and only you who can make me happy, who can take care of me. I don't want anyone else YN. I belong to you. I wanna make part of your life. I can't handle losing you again. I can't." He was crying. Oh! That was unexpected for her." I know you suffered a lot in the past, but I just want to heal you. We're both imperfect, mistakes are impossible to avoid but I'll never hurt you, I'll never leave you. I love you YN!" He whispers getting closer and closer. It was the first time he declared his love for her like this, so deep so real. She got up and wrapped her arms around his neck involving him in a tight intimate hug. Seb carefully combed her hair with his fingers making her feel home.

"I'm scared." She whispers catching Seb off guard.

"Look at me." He says cupping her cheeks. "You're stronger than you think in more than one way, you're  kind, you're beautiful and one of a kind. You make my days better brightening my life. We, together we can do this. Do you trust me?" She nods before he kisses her.

"I love you!" She interrupts the kiss to finally say it. Sebastian 's heart skipped a beat hearing her confession. But she felt that it was right. Their feelings were pure and there was no need to hide it. "Don't leave me." She asks when he sighs deep smiling at her.

"I'm gonna leave you the day I take off my soul with my own hands." He chuckles low causing his girl to giggle low.

"I missed you."

"I almost died without you!" He kissed her forehead allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist.

"What we gonna do now?" She looked up.

"Cuddles?!" It wasn't a question. "Cuddles." She smiles.