Championship 2024
Pierre's POV:
My feelings for Esteban have always been complicated. As children we had always been good friends. We were best friends even, hanging out at the karting track but also outside of that. Because we were both French we got along even better in the international sport, out country uniting us even further. We even went as far as to have dinner at eachothers houses.
In that same friendship group were also Charles Leclerc and Anthoine Hubert. I'm still very close friends with Charles and I was very good friends with Anthoine. Until he unfortunately passed away during a race in Spa back in 2019. Which affected me pretty bad. I dealt with it in a pretty healthy way though. I talk about him and about the accident and I leave flowers for him each and every year. I don't bottle it all up like other people I know.
My relationship with Charles and Anthoine never steered from that friendliness we all had. With Esteban that was a whole other story. Somehow in our journey to being teammates we grew further and further apart. I did however still cared deeply for him. I couldn't really explain it and I definitely did not want to feel anything for him, but emotions are weird like that.
I felt like my romantic feelings like I once had for him had died down significantly. It was more and more getting replaced by hate. Pure hate for everything he did. Especially on track. I couldn't stand him. It went as far that even media didn't do anything to salvage it anymore. We were the enemy teammates and that was how it was going to be and I was totally fine with that.
I had blocked him on everything, Twitter, Instagram and I even blocked his number. I had no reason to do it but when you feel so deeply for someone who you also kind of hate, you need to take action. I don't think he even noticed, it wasn't like he followed me anyway. And we hadn't texted or called for years.
Since the day we were teammates we have been fiercely competing against each other. Mostly not for better of our team. We had our fair share of crashes more as teammates than before. It upset both us and the team but the media were loving it. The whole friends to enemies act was very entertaining apparently.
I have always kind of understood our crashes or at least have accepted that they happend. Because I have also been at fault. But what Ocon did today was unacceptable. He fully turned into me. Everyone knows you can't really overtake in Monaco. How dumb was he to attempt this. And in a corner none the less.
At least I ended up in the points even if it was the same position I qualified in, which Esteban didn't. He DNF which was well deserved. At least in my opinion. I was still pissed off though. Really fucking pissed off. I didn't understand why I was suddenly so emotional about it. But a bit of self reflection helped me realise it was because I still loved him.
Yes, Love him. I've always loved him since we were children. I thought that feeling had gone away while we were fighting this much and not even on speaking terms. But everything he crashes or has a bad race I feel bad for him and I hope that he is okay. Even if he crash involves me.
However I didn't want to tell him that, he did not deserve this piece of information. Especially not today. After nearly reaching my breaking point during media, I finally got to go back to my drivers room. Where I could finally have some peace.
Esteban's POV:
Today however was going to be the day I finally apologise. My first apology towards Pierre after a race since we started in F1. I should have probably done this earlier, but today I did really really bad and actually feel the need to apologise. Like I cannot sleep or eat or breath until I apologise. Okay that was a bit dramatic maybe.
After media I immediately started walking towards Pierre's driver room instead of my own. I knew he was in there, I saw him going in. I was a bit nervous but I felt like I was going to be alright. We were childhood friends after all. So I gathered all the courage I had and knocked on the door.
Pierre open the door with an angry expression on his face. An expression that grew spelen angrier when he saw it was me standing in front of him. "What do you want?" He asked me coldly as he walks back in the room. "I came to apologise." I answer truthfully. Pierre tenses up at my words. "Apologise really. Took you long enough no? It isn't like this was the first time you crashed into me." He turned around to face me with a vile look in this eyes.
"I know but this time I recognise that I made a mistake Pierre. I didn't want to crash in to anyone obviously. Especially not you. And I feel bad for it. It was just so stupid and it's not the first time either. I apologise for every single time I messed up your race. I'm really sorry Pierre. I miss being your friend." Every single word of it was honest. And I realised I really did miss being his friend.
"I don't think we ever were friends Ocon. And you know that as well. We were never just the normal close best friends, we were way more than that. I know it and you know it. I love you, way more than friends. But I have seen that that is not something that we can ever have in reality. When can you fucking open your eyes and realise that the friendship is over. No matter how much you apologise." He gives me a big shove and I stumble out of the room.
I didn't even register him shutting the door in my face. My only thoughts were about Pierre's words. He loved me. Oh fuck. That's not good, not good at all. That means I fucked up even worse than I thought. He said we were never going to be friends anymore. Or more than that. Did I want more than that. I was confused but I let it wash over me. I decided I was not going to bother him anymore.
-
It had been a while since Monaco. Since our talk I've had him on my mind continuously. Did I love him as well? Yeah, yeah I did. I just never realised in what way. I was going to make it up to him though. And today felt like the perfect day to do so. It was Spa weekend which always reminds everyone that this sport is dangerous, even deathly. This was the racetrack where we lost Anthoine Hubert. A good friend of mine, Pierre and Charles. To honour him Pierre had organised a run for him and also held a speech. A speech that was as beautiful as the man speaking.
Pierre's POV:
I had organised a run for Anthoine to pay tribute to him. He was such a sweet soul and did not deserve to be taken away this soon. I tried to stay positive for him but I was feeling just depressed. Charles isn't the best person to talk to about this, he doesn't really talk about his feelings and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. On a day like today I wouldn't want to talk about how the loss impacted me anyway, today is about Anthoine not about me.
Firstly I held a speech about the loss of a very important life. I definitely let some tears fall form my eyes but I couldn't care less right now. He deserved all the recognition he could get. And I was allowed to be emotional. Man can cry too you know. After my speech, which seemed to have gotten the approval of all the people gathered today, we had a track run.
The run felt peaceful, everyone joined in and wore the T-shirts for Anthoine. It made me tear up a bit. And I ofcourse left flowers at the crash site as I do every year. It made me spill a few tears but that is a healthy reaction to a loss this severe. I talked to people during the run and it was lovely to remember all the great moments he had over the years.
After the run I felt the need to find some solidarity. So I went to my drivers room. This time hoping that Esteban wouldn't follow me. It had been haunting me ever since Monaco, I shouldn't have confessed anything to him but it was an in the heat of the moment thing. I couldn't control it, it just happened. And every race since then I was scared he would come knocking on my door again.
Esteban's POV:
I noticed that Pierre wasn't doing as well as everyone believed he was doing. I know how much the death of our dear friend impacted him. It impacted him even more than me I think. I know I said I wouldn't bother him but today I feel like he really needs someone to talk to that knew Anthoine. Charles would never talk about it, so I was the only person left.
I knock on the door with more bravery than the last time. When Pierre opened I instinctively pulled him into a hug. It felt right, really right. And it felt even better when I felt Pierre's arms wrap around me as well. After we broke up our hug he invited me to come inside. The first hour we spent in there we spent talking about Anthoine. It felt really good to be able to talk to him about this.
The second hour we spent talking about us. "Pierre I know you said I shouldn't apologise anymore because it wouldn't fix things anyway but I would really like to." He doesn't stop me, which I take as a sign to continue. "I'm sorry for not realising that I love you as well. I knew that already but I mean in a romantic way. I love you Pierre." I say my voice getting louder and louder. I just felt very emotional about this.
Pierre just smiled at me softly before kissing me. Like properly kissing me. I was surprised but returned the kiss almost instantly. It was a magical moment, a start for more magical moment to come. After we broke apart we held hands and continued talking about all the things we had missed in eachothers loves when we were apart.
We went back to our hotel that evening as always in separate cars. But tonight we ended up in the same hotel room. Kissing and hugging all night long. Comforting eachother about Anthoine but also making up for lost time. Lost time we spend arguing. Not like we wouldn't argue now. I imagine we would have a few hard days in our relationship. But tonight, tonight was perfect.
~~~
I did in fact write this purely because I thought it would be funny. They don't like each other? Yeah well surprise you actually do.
Anyway, I came up with this Anthoine thing and originally wanted to do a Pierre x Charles one but I thought this was way funnier. Also because I just don't see Pierre x Charles as a romantic ship. And I have to give a bit of credits to thatmclarengirlie because she really helped me with this one.
I hope you all liked it!
With love,
Emma♡
You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net