We don't fit in well
Cause we are just ourselves
I could use some help

Jaehyun was on the couch, eyes closed as he leaned back. He was trying not to think. He was just sitting, trying his best to relax in the cool and silent moment.

Doyoung: Okay. You're scaring me. Why do we always come home and find you doing that?

The door closed and his eyes snapped open as he sat up while his two friends sat down on the couch. Taeyong loosened his tie whereas Doyoung took off his shoes and put his legs up on the coffee table.

Taeyong: Dude.

Doyoung: Five minutes, hyung. Anyways Jaehyun. Are you good?

Jaehyun: Mhm. I'm fine.

Taeyong: You sure?

Jaehyun: Yup.

Taeyong: What were you thinking about?

Jaehyun: Well I was trying not to think about anything really.

Doyoung: What?

Jaehyun: I'm trying to be at peace.

The two elder ones stared at Jaehyun before Doyoung scoffed out a laugh which he tried to disguise as a cough when Taeyong glared at him.

Doyoung: Sorry. Uh itchy throat. What did you say? Peace?

Taeyong: I think that's good.

Doyoung: I think if I was in Jaehyun's place I would be decapitating Jaehyuck-

Jaehyun: Hyung. We talked about this. No more bringing up their names.

Taeyong: Yeah Doyoung. Grow up a little.

Doyoung: Oh real fancy coming from you.

Taeyong: So what are we planning for dinner?

Jaehyun: We should go out.

Doyoung: Finally something sensible. I'm too tired to cook anyway.

Taeyong: Alright fine. Doyoung's treat.

Doyoung: What?-

Jaehyun: Actually. My treat.

The two turned to him as he stood up and faced them with a smile.

Jaehyun: I got my salary for the first month.

Taeyong: Oh my god. Congrats Jae!

Doyoung: I mean you can save if you want. I can pay.

Jaehyun: It's fine hyung. Take it as a thank you, from me.

There was a short silence during which he could tell that both of his dear friends were dang proud of him. He loved to just admit it himself that his only siblings were these. Not by blood. But they were the closest to him.

Doyoung: Well about damn time-

Taeyong: Doyoung!

God he loved them.

Jiwon mumbled loudly in the kitchen while stirring the pot of ramen in her kitchen. Yoonhee walked out with a towel over her head, drying her hair.

Yoonhee: Okay you have to stop that.

Jiwon: Stop what?

She frowned and Yoonhee chuckled before pointing at Jiwon's face.

Yoonhee: That. You look like a grumbling dwarf.

Jiwon: You did not just fucking call me a dwarf-

Yoonhee: See! You cursed. You rarely ever curse. And yes I did call you short. I love you.

Jiwon: Did you think that would soften the blow?

Yoonhee: It did not?

Jiwon just clicked her tongue a smile finally ghosting her lips as Yoonhee laughed.

Yoonhee: Okay... so what is it? The Aura thing again?

Jiwon: Grandpa promised me he wouldn't involve me. Or Jaehyun. Then continues to call me to his office to sign off a few papers about the collab- God I haven't even told Jaehyun yet. He is not going to like it! And it's not like if we don't merge, the world will end!

Yoonhee: Okay... honey?

Jiwon: Hm?

Yoonhee: So are we worried about the collab with Aura or Jaehyun being upset with it?

Jiwon: What?

She asked, confused with the question.

Yoonhee: The way you're freaking out about it, makes me or really anyone would think that it's because you are too worried to upset Jaehyun.

Jiwon: Why would anyone want to upset anyone intentionally?

Yoonhee: Fair. But you are taking it a tad bit personally.

Jiwon: I am not.

Yoonhee: Whatever lets you sleep at night, honey.

She said before walking to the couch and laying down on it.

Jiwon: Am not!

Yoonhee just gave her a thumbs up and Jiwon found herself scoffing softly. She stared at the boiling ramen giving it a thought but shrugged it off just as quickly.

Jiwon: Come eat Yoon.

✗

Jiwon sat in front of her grandfather, stirring her tea in silence as he just awkwardly cleared his throat.

Grandfather Park: I know its a lot to ask from you-

Mr. Park: She shouldn't come.

Jiwon froze but didn't glance at her father. Slowly she just returned to focusing on her tea without giving him a heated response; something she itched to do.

Mr. Park: Not after what she did last year.

Jiwon: I wonder who provoked it.

She couldn't stop herself before saying it and as she saw her father stand up, her muscles tensed.

Grandfather Park: Sit down, Eunseob!

With a groan and much hesitance he did sit down and finally Jiwon felt herself relax.

Grandfather Park: I know you don't want to come either. But cameras will be-

Jiwon: They're always there.

She could tell that her father was getting agitated with everything she said so she only looked up to meet her grandfather's eyes.

Jiwon: But I'll be there. I'll ask Jisung. Though for him it depends on his exams schedules.

Grandfather Park: Of course.

Jiwon: And we won't stay long. We've got somewhere to be.

There was a prolonged tense silence. All of them knew exactly what she meant but no one was going to say anything. More like her father didn't care and her grandfather knew he didn't have it in him to bring it up in front of her.

Grandfather Park: Of course. As you wish.

Mr. Park: Dad you're being too-

Grandfather Park: Do you ever stop talking?

Jiwon did her best not to laugh and just stood up.

Jiwon: I'll be going then. Long day ahead.

Grandfather Park: You didn't have your tea.

Jiwon: I... I need to go.

She walked out, breathing out in relief once the door closed. She took a moment to lean on the wall next to the doors, ignoring the shouting coming from inside knowing a meeting with them wouldn't truly end without her father throwing a tantrum after she left.

Sicheng: Are you okay?

Jiwon: I don't know if I should lie to you or tell you the truth.

Sicheng: Then don't tell me anything.

There was a short silence in which she only nodded half heartedly.

Sicheng: Just remember, I might be your grandfather's assisstant but, I'm also your friend.

Jiwon: I know that. But still... thank you for that.

He offered a soft smile that she returned.

Sicheng: Anytime...

As she glanced back at the doors she couldn't help but feel proud for distancing herself as much as she has done. Jiwon knew this was not total freedom. But she also didn't know how to get out of a situation she had been stitched into for her entire life.

✗

Friday was dreadful. One Friday was dreadful because she was going to see them. Next Friday was spent in dread of meeting them on the next one.

Don't get her wrong, Jiwon loved them. But the way their smiles, the way they talked, their concern... their eyes, all mirroring her mother so well. It hurt seeing only images of her mother rather than her as a whole.

The ride to that house was the worst. Every second of the short journey was spent remembering every tear she shed with them. And unlike other family meetings Jisung wasn't with her. She doesn't even know why she goes as much.

A part of her hates the experience but a part of her cherishes the parts of her mother that was left.

Sighing, her grip on the stearing wheel tightened. Jiwon could see the house now and her heart raced as she closed in.

Jiwon contemplated taking a moment in the car but she saw the door opening and her mother's father walking out, a small smile soothing his lips the second their eyes met.

She took a deep breath before walking out, a small visiting gift in hand.

Grandfather Lee: You didn't have to.

Jiwon: But I did. It's your favourite.

Grandfather Lee: You spoil me when it should really be the other way round.

Jiwon: I like spoiling you.

She smiled nervously as he peeked into the cover holding the cake, before he looked back at her.

Grandfather Lee: Thank you, Saerin.

Jiwon's smile faltered as he only smiled wider.

He forgot me... again.

Doyoung: Jaehyun! Let's go!

Jaehyun: Uh... go where?

He said as he walked out of his room, clearly exhausted, whereas the two other friends were standing ready in the living room.

Jaehyun: ... where-

Doyoung: Shopping.

Jaehyun: Shopping? Seriously. Now?

Doyoung: Yes.

He deadpanned.

Taeyong: We think you need a break.

Jaehyun: I'm fine.

Doyoung: Great. Come on now.

Jaehyun: Hyung-

Doyoung: We can go to the mall. Get you your suit for Monday. Fix you... Then go get some dinner.

Jaehyun: Fix me??? Now what does that mean.

Taeyong: You hate beards. And you hate long hair.

He said while pointing to both, Jaehyun's face and hair.

Jaehyun: I can fix it from somewhere close by.

He said while dragging his fingers across the scruff.

Jaehyun: And I can borrow one of your suits.

The other two silently stared at him as he just sighed and nodded.

Jaehyun: Fine.

Doyoung: You've 2 mins-

Taeyong: Dude! Cut him some slack.

Doyoung: It'll get too late!

As they continued to argue, Jaehyun just spared them a chuckle before closing the door to his room to get ready.

Jiwon: Are you sure bringing him out was a good idea?

Uncle Lee: He needs a breather. And you're here too. So it's fine.

Aunt Lee: We heard there is this really good restaurant in the mall. We've wanted to take dad there since forever.

Jiwon turned to glance at the male at the back, head on her uncle's shoulder, deep asleep.

Uncle Lee: Did he... call you by noona's name again?

Jiwon: Yeah.

Aunt Lee: The dementia is getting worse. And it doesn't help that... you look like a carbon copy of her.

With a hum, Jiwon opted to look outside the car window. The night was young and the streets were busy with young adults and families starting off their weekends with a blast.

Aunt Lee: Jiwon. We had something to talk to you about.

Jiwon: Yeah?

Uncle Lee: It is about five years ago-

Jiwon: Didn't we agree to leave that topic?

Uncle Lee: Please Ji... we are worried.

Jiwon: Uncle, aunt... I need you both to understand that I can't do anything. It's all an assumption.

Aunt Lee: I know. But it's just not right. Unnie won't just ju-

Jiwon: I don't know why you think it's impossible. Mom... She was strong but she was still living in the same house as dad.

Uncle Lee: Noona was strong, Jiwon, I agree with that too. But exactly. She wouldn't just take such a drastic measure of taking her own life without talking to one of us.

Jiwon: Uncle. Please. We tried this once before. Do you want the incident to repeat? To one of us this time? You guys have families. You have kids. Don't risk it.

There was a short silence during which Jiwon could tell that they hadn't given up but understood what she said.

Jiwon: We can not go back to square one.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii~