Harry fell to his knees, watching yet another home burn to ash. Why was this always happening? Was it some sick curse that allowed everything close to him to be set a blaze? A sick curse indeed. He felt sick, this happened because of him.

Again.

Again, he was the reason for destruction.

When was this going to end?

Harry clasped a hand over his mouth. He was going to be sick.

Why, why him, why was it always him. Why was he the punch of some sick joke, why couldn't he be stronger? Why couldn't he protect anything.

"FUCK!" Harry screamed into his hand. His eyes stinging from the smoke, a shit excuse to blame this hatred in himself causing the suddenly desire to cry.

"Fuck!! Why, why why WHY!" He continued to scream, his hand punching straight into the ground. Sickening sounds of his fist hitting the mud seemed to overpower the sound of crackling wood.

"Harry!" Ginny helped, rushing to grab his hand, preventing his actions.

But Conscious was quicker, already bending in front of the boy, watching him break. His repeated punched and screamed, cursing- seemingly reaching his final breaking point.

"Don't." Conscious spoke to Ginny as she crashed next to him, attempting to grab him. She raised her hand, sending her back a few feet on her back, the family quickly running to her leaving her alone with Harry for a moment.

Harry stopped at this, his head snapping up to Ginny's body, before flashing red eyes looked into her blue hues. Quickly Harry pointed his wand, cursing her blindly- and for once, she allowed it. The spell was weak, but it knocked her back with enough force. The Wesley's casted a look of horror at Harry, Hermione reaching for her wand in fear behind Ron.

Harry stood now, hands shaking, but his wand clenched tightly in his right hand, pointed right at Conscious. Something in Harry had snapped, he couldn't allow another person to be hurt for him. No more, not ever.

"Harry! Please, calm down!" Ron shouted, the family in complete distort with what was unfolding.

Harry looked feral. His usual bright vibrant green eyes have been replaced with a scarlet red, his teeth bared and his stance ready to protect and attack.

Conscious reminded crouched, her gaze still locked onto Harry, every emotion that dropped off the boy, oozed right into her. She could feel him, she could feel Tom's power combining with Harry's anger, and hatred.

It was beautiful.

"Do not touch her." Harry hissed, his parseltongue sharper than ever.

Her eyes flashed a bright blue, merlin he even spoke like Tom. She reminded silent, watching Harry closely

"I will not allow anything to happen to any of them." He gritted out, though the meaning seemed less directed at her, but more so to himself.

I can protect them, can't I?

He thought, looking over at his loved ones only to be met with something else. They looked at him in... fear? Horror, shock, and fear of not the situation but of him. Each had their wand tightly held in their grasp, yet none have brought themselves to point it at him, but what they could tell- Harry was feral.

"I'm sorry, Harry please let's go somewhere else now." Conscious hissed, Harry wasn't in control of his emotions and his aura of magic was oozing nothing but dark hatred and anger. A curious part of Conscious wondered if this emotional break was because of tonight's events, or years of built up hero complex that was never meant for Harry. He was far more than just some boy, and if they didn't leave soon Conscious is sure it'll ruin things for his future.

"This is your fault!" Ron screamed, his wand directed right at Conscious now. "Those filthy death eaters MUST be here for you! We should've never let her into our home!"

Tears rolled out of the fingers eyes, he glanced back to his families home crumbling to the ground, burning into orange and fire flames. The smoke gushed out from the windows engulfing the night start sky into a dark cloudy nightmare. Hermione grabbed into Ron's arm pointing his wand on the wand.

"We need to evacuate the area, the smoke is too much for us!" Hermione cried out. The others mirrored her movements, lowering the wands as the took in the destruction of their property. The Weasley family standing together in tears, embracing the fact their even alive yet was it even worth it to witness such traumatic events.

Harry refused to lower his wand though, Conscious now standing at her full, completely disarmed though. She extended her arm in demand for Harry to take it, if he refused to calm down here she'd allow him to do it somewhere else.

"Swear to me you knew nothing!" Harry screamed again, startling the Weasley's again. Conscious glanced at them before leaping at Harry in lighting speed and in a blink of an eye they vanished.

---

Dumbledore and Severus sit in his office playing the fourth round of chess of the night. With their pot of earl grey tea empty and Dumbledores lemon tarts nearly finished an owl swoops in, scattering the pieces of the game. Severus frowns at the familiar Weasley bird as he was nearly about to call check to their game.

"Ah you almost had me, shame it's from Arthur." Dumbledore apologizes for the interruption taking the letter from the owls beak. He opened the letter before frowning, nearly matching Severus.

"They've been attacked. By death eaters and Ms. Jones has taken Harry, I didn't feel our bonds break at all but it appears Arthur believes she and the death eaters organized this attack to take Harry. What do you think Severus?" Dumbledore asks as he takes a piece of paper and quill and begins to write.

He ponders this question briefly, he did know this attack would occur, hence his reasons for playing chess in an empty castle with the headmaster. A perfect alibi the Dark Lord had stated. Now, Potter being taken was not specifically mentioned to be the goal, and Conscious was most certainly not a factor into the plan at all. In fact, he didn't recall any safety measures being taken to protect her from the harms way that was due to come to the Weasley home. He had ordered them to burn it all down, cause as much havoc and damage to 'muggle supporting carrots'. So Conscious taking Harry in attempt to help him?

"I have no clue." Severus responded truthfully because he really had no clue what could've lead that outcome. If anything he was expecting a death count toll.

Dumbledore stands from his desk chair, moving to his fire to spend the paper into orange flames disappearing. "I've alerted the ministry to send aid to the Weasley's home, you and I must locate the two of them now. In the event he is behind this, remember our promise Severus, it must be you."

He glanced over at the older man, he could see age has really begun to wore him, after decades of fighting, seeing the great wizard look death with ready eager acceptance was strange. But still, he was a man bound to vows, no matter what he felt, he would always surrender to them.

He sighed before rising as well. "I won't if he's there he'd kill me on the spot moments later, your plan would be redundant."

Dumbledore let out a small laugh. "I suppose so. They've returned on the grounds, I sensed two people opening the gates and entering moments ago. I have faith she brought him here for safety, but I like to be prepared in all events dear friend."

With that he walked out and towards the phoenix statue to open the stairwell down, Severus walking behind with the hopes the events won't be the latter.

---

Harry stumbles, the feeling of aparating kicking him quite literal to the ground. He feels sicker now, his head is spinning and throbbing more than its usual lingering pain.

"Hey, you didn't get sick this time but you should really start to adjust to the landing."

Harry looked up to see Conscious standing a few feet away twirling his wand in her hands, looking down at him with a grim expression. For some reason this site erupted familiar feelings of Tom Riddle taking his wand, looking down at him with that same look.

"I trusted you." Harry spat out, his fist clenching at dirt. He looked around to see they were back on the Hogwarts grounds near the gates. He paused, brows furrowing as he looked back at her.

Why the hell are we here? Harry thought.

"You can always trust me Harry, I want to keep you safe. I don't care who or what the danger is, nothing will end your life, I won't let anyone hurt you." Conscious said, offering a hand to help him up. "Including yourself, you cannot hurt yourself by letting your emotions control you, take control yourself and master those emotions before they run you! So please calm down."

He exhaled the breath of a lifetime, he felt his heart in his ears and brought his hands to the sides of his head to cradle himself. Conscious squatted and mirrored him, cupping her hands over his.

"I'm sorry Harry, I promise I had no part in this and I hope you can understand wha I just meant. Control your emotions, control your magic and watch those around you bend to your needs, you are so strong Harry." Conscious spoke softly, wiping tears and dirt off his cheeks. She hadn't fully met his gaze but she saw they had at least returned back to a darker hue of green.

"I want to kill him, I.. I want to kill him again." Harry's voice cracked. She still refused to meet his eyes as new tears poured down the freshly cleaned cheeks. "Conscious I don't want to fight anymore, I hate this feeling, everything always hurts."

"Stop allowing yourself to feel hurt Harry, you don't have to fight anyone, I promise you won't have to kill anyone." She tried to soothe him as she trembled still, he felt warm almost feverishly hot.

"I can't control it Conscious! Its like something constantly nagging at the pit of my stomach and heart and FUCK my head! It's all too much, it's too much!" Harry sobbed hysterically, pushing her hands away to cry into his hands.

She sighed, at least his emotions seem to be more like his pitiful self now rather than Toms spitefulness and anger. "Stop crying Harry please, it hurts me when you cry. If you want it to stop, you have to make it stop. Your the only person who controls your own actions, feelings, beliefs, values so on and so forth."

Harry slowly breathed in and out to ease his cries as he listened to her. "Everyone in this shitty world is going to do everything they can to make you feel the shit of this world, but you have the power to decide if it hurts you or not. So get up now, if you don't want to cry then let's fight."

Once again she extended her hand, offering him help up onto his feet. He brought his hands away from his face now completely tear and snot soaked. He casted her a look of confusion and uncertainty.

"You hexed me once already, you certainly were crying then. You cannot kill me Harry and I can easily deflect your curses, so let's get rid of some of that built up energy yeah?" Conscious suggested throwing him back his wand, letting it roll to his hands on the ground. He looked at it then back at her hands, before picking up the wooden wand, then taking her hand to help himself up. The sickness had finally subsided away but he felt awful.

"I don't want to fight, I want.. I want some tea." Harry crocked out, looking into her eyes for the first time. "I want to sleep, rest, I want to forget. Conscious please, you took me away from them for a reason but I don't care what it is. This is the only thing I want now."

She gave him a sad smile, her Harry was certainly back. "Let's go eat some sweets, perhaps some fire whiskey to help?"

He didn't meet her smile but he did let out a laugh through his nose. "I'll be sick again."

happy new year!!!! - (first draft dec 29 2021)

...... oh well uhhh hahahaha this is awkward! last update was december 7 2021.... it is now june 26 2023..... honestly i have no explanation and no real apology because life happens. we cherish we grow we forgot.

but don't forgot, i ALWAYS come back ;) i am sorry though for going mia and i see your comments so i do feel like i owe y'all something for the amazing support you've all given me throughout the HP/TMR journey. i first published this series in december of 2020 but i've been a wattpad user/ write for over 8 years !! i'm now in my early twenties, it definitely isn't over but this isn't something i am going to put my full soul into anymore, but please as well grab a cup of tea and blanket, stay warm cozy and healthy and enjoy the reads when they come <3

thank you again, really you all have quite literally been with me since i was a kid and i couldn't imagine my adulthood being anything less