Dhruv

******

FLASHBACK

******

It was my parent's death anniversary. Every year I used to be alone on that day. except for the year my school life was about to end. Saavi's presence was more than enough to make me forget some of my pain. I knew I shouldn't be affected this much but I didn't have control over it. I won't be lying if I say that I was afraid, afraid of what would happen if she leaves me just like others. I was hoping nothing like that ever happens again because I won't be able to deal with it. I was not ready for another loss. I might seem strong to others but the truth was I was not. I knew survival would be difficult without her.

My Saavi, her name was enough to make me smile.

I was singing in a room adjacent to my bedroom as that's what I generally do when my mind used to indulge in some thoughts. I have always loved singing because it's the quality I have got from my mother and I will cherish it forever.

While in the middle of the song the door opened revealing my love.

"Hey," I said abruptly stopping the melody.

"Hi. Seems like I disturbed you."

"What? No, not at all. Come inside." She came in as I gestured her to. She sat beside me and said, "You are a great singer." My heart swelled with happiness that she liked it.

"Really?" she nodded smiling to which I replied, "Thanks."

"So what were you singing?"

"It's a song named Payphone by Maroon5."

"Maroon 5? Is this a name?" she asked perplexed looking all cute.

"No, it's the name of a band."

"Oh."

"Why did you stop singing? Continue, please."

"You want me to?"

"Yes. I really liked it. It felt like your song can make a dead man alive."

Laughing at her comment I said, "That was funny."

Her face fell and I felt like an idiot for hurting her. I didn't even realize that she was being serious.

"You meant that?" I asked still not believing and she nodded looking at her lap.

Holding my ears I bend down on my knees in front of her and said, "I am sorry."

"It's ok." she giggled at my childish act and I joined her too.

"Should I sing something for you?" Her face lightened up and I continued my song looking at her enchanting face.

******

I had left her alone in the room while she was sleeping. I had to order dinner from outside just like I did for lunch and had to do that 5-minute marathon while she was waiting for me looking at the clock. I knew that 5-minute rule thing could never continue for long so I had come up with a solution. It was entirely a solution until it bears positive results. For now, that was the only idea that came to my mind. I had decided to sing after doing a lot of thinking.

I used to cherish this quality before but when she left I had to stop, not because of her but because of myself. The moment I used to open my mouth to sing whenever someone asked me to, only sad songs used to come out. So I had to stop singing. My friends were aware so they never pressurized me.

But recently when I had gone to the inauguration party of Nikhil's new cafe, my little one asked me to sing and how could I say no to her. I obliged without thinking of the consequences but the result was bad. With every line I sang, I found myself burying more into Saavi's memories. That was the day when I told everything about my past to my little one. Like others she also wanted me to go look for her but I was stupid to not listen to her.

I was unmindful of the consequences of my action, but sitting idle was not even an option when I knew my love was in pain. I needed to take a step to take her out of her shell.

Taking deep breathes I started to sing, for her.

As I proceeded with the first part of the melody I saw her standing at the door. Yes, she was there but she was restraining herself from entering as if it was a restricted zone. It looked like she was fighting with her inner demon.

I continued without hesitation. Soon her eyes met mine as if she was trying to know was it all truth or her illusion.

I held my hand out for her to take it. I knew it would hurt when she would not come inside and would avoid me, but I was glad that not all my efforts went into vain. I was happy that at least she came to the door.

With every line of the song, I confessed how important she was to me, what she meant to me.

While I was still singing my hand was extended. MY expectant eyes observing her, hoping for her to come to me.

Taking small steps she came inside and held my hand with her soft one. I couldn't control myself and teared up. It was so difficult to control those traitor tears, but they being traitors rushed out of my eyes.

Standing on her toes she wiped my tears making me ecstatic and amazed at the same time.

Her black orbs were trying to read me, actually, we both were trying to read each other, were trying to decipher the meaning of each other's actions.

I was still in the middle of the song. I didn't want to stop fearing she would leave.

Giving me a faint smile she hugged me. Her hands went around my torso and her hold was tight as if she was promising me that she will never leave me again. I thought I was dreaming but no, I wasn't. It was all real.

I was done with the song but too shocked to respond. Composing myself after a while I hugged her tightly. I placed my chin on her forehead and felt my shirt getting wet. My muffin was crying.

"Muffin." She didn't leave me but I made her look at me anyhow. She didn't remember me I could tell easily, but she wanted to. It felt her eyes were asking me Who Am I?

Cupping her cheeks, I wiped her tears and left a lingering kiss on your forehead.

"Let's get you to sleep, ok?" she shook her head but I couldn't compromise her health so I said, "Muffin, it's very late." but she gestured something from her hand.

For the first time in the last three days, she gestured something, otherwise, she either used to nod her head or shake in denial.

It was not that strenuous to understand what did she want.

"You want me to sing?" she nodded. I wanted to fulfill her wish but at the same time, it was too late.

"But you need to sleep." She frowned at me.

Oh My God! I hit the jackpot I guess. Two reactions in a few minutes. Firstly a faint smile and now she frowned.

I didn't have to do too much thinking as I got a solution to our problem soon.

"How about I sing you to sleep? Will it be okay?" She agreed to it and both of us made our way towards my....sorry, our bedroom.

Making her lay her head on my chest, I wrapped my arms around her and so did she, while I sang a song. She slept after a while and I was feeling ecstatic that I was able to break at least one barrier, but I knew it was not going to be that easy as it seemed. We still had a long way to go.

******

I woke up at seven and found my sweet angel still sleeping. I didn't get out of the bed as I knew it will only wake her up. I lied there, looking at her, caressing her hair, and after forty-five minutes she woke up.

"Good Morning," I said smiling at her. She only blinked her eyes at me and that was more than enough.

After getting up I helped her in brushing her teeth. I checked each and every corner of the washroom this time, as I couldn't afford to hurt her again just like the previous day. I put her clothes in the washroom but she stayed at the same place, in front of the mirror looking down.

I didn't know what happened but when my eyes followed what was she looking, then the reality sink in. She was looking at her injured hand.

'Shit! ' I cursed myself inaudible.

The thought of her wounded hand hadn't come to me before.

'What should I do? Should I help her?', I thought.

'Of course, you should' said my inner self.

'But how can I?' I asked him.

'She is hurt, you idiot, how do you expect her to do it herself?'

As I was immersed in my thoughts when Saavi poked my arm with a finger.

When I looked at her she gestured towards her hair.

"You want me to help you with washing your hair?" Looking down she nodded as if she was embarrassed.

"That's it only, right?"

'Just please agree otherwise it will get tough.' I thought to myself. I breathed a sigh of relief when she nodded.

I made her sit in the bathtub after draining the water filled in it. Sitting on the edge of it, I wet her hair and pour some amount of shampoo from the shampoo bottle. I massaged her scalp and saw her eyes were closed. She was looking so cute that I could never describe.

After washing the lather off her hair, I wrapped a towel around her wet hair. Instructing her to be careful while taking a bath, I got out of the washroom and got ready in the adjacent room. I had securely wrapped plastic around her wounded hand in case it by mistake gets in touch with water.

I came back and she was still in the washroom, but soon the door opened. Making her sit on the bed, I first changed the bandage wrapped around her wound. After that, I opened the towel wrapped around her wet hair and dried her hair. After I was done I asked her, "Muffin, shall we go to have our breakfast?" I was hoping for her to agree and she did.

I was contented that my effort last night paid off.

'Soon, my love, I will break all the walls you have built around you, very soon, I vowed.